//------------------------------// // Hasty introductions (fixed) // Story: Redefining the Status Quo // by Harquebus //------------------------------// Almost as soon as I had begun my journey to the distant empire, a horrible snowstorm began to appear. A flurry of snow now constantly buffeted my body, never giving way in its relentless assault. My trench coat billowed in the wind, twisting and bending in every conceivable direction while my boots sank into the white blanket upon the ground all the way up to my ankles. The pants I was wearing did seem to effectively block out the wind chill, but I was still at the mercy of the bone chilling temperatures. It became slightly hard to breath with snow constantly clogging up the gas mask’s filter, but taking it off would expose my vulnerable skin to the elements. A few miles away in the distance, I could barley make out the magnificent city I saw earlier. My field of vision had been effectively rendered near useless due to the constant barrage of snowflakes. I had tried to hide my injured wrist inside my coat but because of its constant movements, and the fact that my hand was now effectively replaced with crystal, did this have no effect as my crystal hand was ice cold if not more so. Peeking down a slit in my coat, I saw that the afflicted area had taking on a light blue color. Thankfully, my wrist was numb enough to halt any pain, but if I wanted to keep any part of my lower right arm, I needed to get to the city faster. Unfortunately for me, I saw no other option other than to run quickly. Easier said than done when all your limbs become so cold and numb they feel like, well, like crystal! DOWN HERE WEAKLING And there was the catalyst of all this madness, the smoke monster. I was only able to make out its figure in the blizzard due to a faint glow it seemed to be emanating. It also seemed to be beckoning me towards what appeared to be a small crevice in the ground. I was reluctant; the last time I listened to that thing I got grade A hallucinations. “N-n-n-n-no! I r-refuse!” SO YOU WANT TO FREEZE TO DEATH DO YOU? WHAT A VERY UNORTHODOX WAY TO, OH, I DON’T KNOW, TAKE OVER AN EMPIRE! Apparently sensing my hesitation, it quickly added, ITS WARM DOWN HERE… That sold it for me. Warmth was something that my body greatly desired right about now. After a little stuttering, I abjectly replied, “F-f-f-f-f-fine.” I shakily began walking towards the crevice. Upon reaching the opening, I gazed down into its depths. It must have been at least a few miles deep. Or just dark. Probably just dark. Ever the cautious one, I asked, “H-h-how a-am I s-s-s-supposed to g-get down there?” FALL “F-f-f-fall? W-w-what d-do you m-mean fa-AHH!” I honestly should’ve seen that coming. But with the thing being made of smoke and all, I figured it couldn’t push me. Boy was I wrong. Twice actually, it turns out that the crevice was just really dark. “Y-y-you j-jerk…” I spat while pushing myself back up to my feet. YOU LIVED, DID YOU NOT? I suppose I did. Thanks in part to a small cushion of snow that had managed to float past the crevice and come to rest upon the rocky floor. The crevice seemed to be much larger on the inside, more like a cavern instead. There were several objects in the distance that seemed to produce a sliver of light, but aside from that, the cave was pitch black. Looking around, the only other discernable source of light came from the smoky figure as it descended into the cavern. “That’s not the point! Come on man! Any successful partnership and or alliance needs trust! If I can’t trust you, how am I supposed to meet your outrageous demands?” At this point, I realized it was probably being serious about the whole, ‘no body’ thing, but everything else still seemed improbable. Like taking over an empire, whatever that meant. NOT MY PROBLEM. ALSO, THERE IS NO NEED FOR TRUST, I OWN YOU. YOU WILL DO AS I COMMAND WITHOUT QUESTION Figures that it would respond that way. It obviously put forth little thought or long-term planning into this… escape attempt I suppose. I really couldn’t see this as anything else. Perhaps it was pressed for time and needed to get help from someone on the fly. Once again, I was back to being skeptical. Sure, I'll agree with anything you say in the heat of the moment, but give me time and I'll start questioning things. I had enough time of wandering around in the snow to figure out three explanations for this situation. Crazed LARPer still wasn't out of the picture but this could just be a really bad acid trip. I think I read somewhere that if you try acid even once, traces of it remains in your spine. Unfortunately, this implied that my spine was broken and or fractured. The one I was most inclined to believe however was that a drugged out lunatic with some bad surgical skills and an obsession with crystals had kidnapped me, skinned my hand and dunked it in a bowl of rock candy syrup for a few hours until it covered the entirety of my hand. Well, at least I hoped, because that’s the only somewhat logical explanation as to why I could still move my hand around. In a sense this was kind of fun, painful sensations aside. It reminded me of why I played paintball, for the thrill of the moment. Not knowing from where or when you could come under attack, the racing of your heart as your mind creates false outcomes, further delving you into the adrenaline rush. My heart was certainly racing right now; the fear of dying alone and in the cold not really thrilling, but still produced the same ‘rush’ I had grown so accustomed to. Since roleplaying was my thing, I decided to go along with the crazed smoke monster, deranged LARPer or the questionable surgeon. It's gotta be one of them. Oh! That's it, that tree did fall on me and this is all a horrible, trauma induced dream as doctors pump me full of drugs with names I could even try to say. Oh well, always follow along with the dream I say. “I’d be much more inclined to listen if you could at least give me a realistic explanation of what you want. Like what the hell is a 'crystal pony' ?” I asked. ALL IN GOOD TIME SLAVE. NOW FOLLOW ME Once again, figures it would respond that way. On the bright side, this was certainly a new experience for me as I’d never been a slave before in my previous dreams. The closest thing to this was when I dreamed of fighting in the American civil war as a Union solider with two of my own genetically altered, loyal partners fighting alongside me in the quest for world domination. If I recall correctly, that’s also the last time I went out late night drinking. Shaking myself out of my memories, I put forth another question, “Well could I at least have your name?” I SUPPOSE THAT IS A RESONALBLE REQUEST… VERY WELL. YOU MAY REFERE TO ME AS KING SOMBRA I stumbled back a little when he said that last part. He seemed to make the entire ground shake and gave his voice an echo effect upon saying that. While cool, I’ll say it again, classic narcissist. A little shaken up and annoyed from the sudden audio affects, I muttered, “Heh, some king, doesn’t even have any followers…” It suddenly got very quiet. I couldn’t even hear the howling of the wind as it snaked its way inside the cavern anymore. The only sound was my boots stomping along the cold, hard floor. I stood still for a moment, Sombra seemed to have disappeared from my line of sight and taken the light with him. I then did what any sensible person would do, took a deep breath and turned around slowly. Nothing was there. Releasing the breath I was holding with an audible sigh, I turned back around. WHAT WAS THAT? “GAH!” Not only was he all up in my face, the smoke that made up Sombra’s body seemed to be swirling around a lot quicker. Then a really creepy thing happened, I think his head popped out of the smoke. He had deep red horn with a slight curvature, which definitely meant he was a unicorn. His eyes were either a sight to behold or a thing of nightmares. The whites of his eyes had been replaced with green and the irises were red. I’m not sure whether or not it was a good thing that his pupils remained black as they seemed empty, devoid of any emotion. Oh, and they were smoking purple. Probably not normal but hey, this whole situation isn’t normal. YOU DARE INSULT YOUR MASTER? CUR, YOU WOULD DO WELL TO LEARN YOUR PLACE! With that said, he somehow picked me up with his... smokieness, I guess, and forcefully brought me along for a terrifying joy ride as he cruised through the caverns at a high speed, deliberately doing flips, twists and nearly crashing into walls, only to jerk away at the last second, using his obviously intimate knowledge on the caverns layout. He continued this dizzying routine for what I believed to be several minutes, until I could no longer tell if the cavern was as small as I imagined, or if his gymnastics routine simply caused the place to appear larger. It appeared that we had reached whatever destination he saw fit, as he dropped me to the ground unceremoniously. I attempted to stand up on my legs, but was unable and promptly fell back down on my ass. His laughter now reverberated around the walls, causing my head to spin even more. HAHAHAHAHAH! THAT WAS THE MOST FUN I’VE HAD IN AGES, I CAN”T EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I GOT TO PERSONALLY TORTURE SOMEONE! Yep, defiantly crazy. This bastard seemed to enjoy torturing people. I was unsure of why I didn’t notice this before, but his voice sounded more evil and deeper than before. Like a demon got a sore throat and became pissed off at the pharmacy for not having cough drops kind of deep. I was probably too preoccupied with the pain from earlier to notice. WELL, I THINK THAT’S A GOOD LESSON ON WHY YOU NEVER INSULT YOUR MASTER Even though everything was still spinning, I managed to get a basic understanding of my new surroundings. I was still in a cave that’s for sure, but this part seemed to be… developed, for lack of a better word. There were a more than a couple wooden supports inside tunnels that branched off from the large central room I stood in now. I wasn’t sure how high this room was, but the light coming off of Sombra didn’t seem to reach the top, which remained as black as night. There were also a few old looking oil lanterns placed around the room radiating a faint orange glow. The walls seemed to be mostly plain old rock and some clay but behind Sombra’s smoky haze of a body, I managed to make out a large cluster of black crystals that seemed to jut out of the wall at unpredictable angles. I couldn’t tell if I was just dizzy, or if he was doing figure 8’s from within his smoky prison. Thankfully, I had my back to the wall, and once again trying to pull myself up, managed to do so by balancing myself upon the wall. “N-not cool man, not cool.” I DO NOT CARE IF I AM AS YOU SAY, “NOT COOL”. ALL I CARE FOR IS THE RESTORATION OF MY BODY AND REINSTATEMENT OF MY RULE “I gathered that, but I need a little more to go on other than ‘that’s up to you’. Seriously, like, how many people am I going up against?” I already had a bad feeling in my stomach considering that he was a unicorn and I had hallucinated about ponies earlier. Which brought up the question, can you hallucinate in dreams? HAHAHAHAHAH! And here we go again with the laughing. I was pretty sure that any dog within a fifty-foot radius of him would be backing away in terror from that god-awful sound. Like a cheese grater trying to shred a brick of solid iron. PEOPLE? YOU STUPID INSECT, THERE ARE NO PEOPLE HERE “No people? Then who the hell lives in that giant city I saw before? Where the hell are we?” PERHAPS THIS WILL ENLIGHTEN YOUR FEEBLE MIND With that said, he moved away from the ceiling and floated slightly ahead of me, shringing his size to that of mine and illuminated a swath of crystals that bad been previously invisible. I could've probably described the wall as a conglomeration, or even a pile if I was feeling particularly unimaginative at that moment but they were too well aligned to be considered a pile. You know how when a kid draws a fire, he (or she) starts with a small spike, then makes the following ones bigger and bigger until it peaks and he (or she) starts making the spikes smaller and smaller? That was exactly what this looked like, except the crystal at the peak was large beyond reason. a very smooth, long crystal in the very center that stood in an upward position. It's finish was so fine, it bore resemblance to that of a normal mirror except for the fact that it was huge and vertical. Like, movie theater huge. APPROACH Doing as bidden, I walked closer to the ‘screen’, which seemed to glow a bit before an image materialized on the screen. It was an aerial view of a bustling street that zoomed in on anything that I happened to be focusing on. Every single color was vibrant beyond what could be considered the norm and everything looked pristine. Street vendors in carts hawked their wares at passerby and were promptly brushed of by offended aristocrats in fancy suits that couldn’t be bothered to have their time wasted. Other, more sociable types, gazed down upon an assortment of strange fruits and vegetables, various drinks and the occasional craft/novelty stand. A small park area was off to the side with little children happily playing tag or attempting to climb up a tree, much to the disapproving glares and shouts of concerned mothers while the fathers played catch with the rest. In short, a perfectly idyllic community. On the other side of the park, a few floats lumbered down the street as walking musicians played a catchy tune, much to the merriment of onlookers. There was only one problem; the people, with the exception of most vendors, were shiny ponies. Shiny ponies. The street vendors were mostly non-shiny unicorns that would somehow grab a pedestrian without touching them and haul them in front of their stand. The victims of this just shrugged it off as if it was nothing while if I tried that at home, I would probably get arrested. The park area was full of adventurous kids as stated before, but the upset mothers would either be forced to climb the tree to retrieve their children or, as more than one parent did, grab a unicorn vendor and demand they lift their kids down. I wasn't sure how those floats moved as they seemed to be highly decorative floating platforms with only air underneath them. On top of the lead float, I recognized two faces. It was that pink pegacorn and white/blue unicorn from the hallucination! They waved at the crowd, occasionally ‘throwing’ kisses towards them, beaming pride and other emotions. A group of shiny females dressed like stereotypical gypsies swooned and fell on the ground when the unicorn blew one their way. The screen slowly faded away after zooming in on a couple holding what I hoped was their child close and laughing contentedly. I was pretty sure that the head of Sombra was looking at me with a crazy smile on his face, relishing every second of my confusion. “B-b-b wha-wa- what is th-this?” I had a sickening feeling in my stomach that this was much more real than I had previously believed. I slowly raised my crystal appendage up to my face, the wrist had regained some color but was still dripping blood and a few other unsavory fluids yet was still thankfully numb from the cold. But that wasn’t what I was concerned about at the moment. This was starting to seem far to realistic and detailed to be fake. But that would imply that my hand had been cut off and had been replaced by a cheap crystal knock-off. That also entailed I was being held hostage by a psychopathic monster that claimed to own my soul and had dreams of conquest floating around his head. LIKE IT DO YOU? I PUT MOST OF MY MAGIC INTO TURNING YOUR PREVIOUS APPENDAGE INTO SOMTHIN MUCH MORE, USEFUL “Wh-what have you done to me...?” MADE IMPROVEMENTS I’D SAY. YOUR WORTHLESS FLESH BODY IS EAISILY HARMED. I WAS UNABLE TO COMPLETELY CHANGE YOU INTO CRYSTAL BUT I DID MANAGE TO FIX YOUR HAND “Fixed? What part of this is fixed? You only succeeded in cutting off my hand.” PLEASE, IT LOOKS MUCH BETTER NOW. THAT PREVIOUS THING YOU REFERED TO AS A FACE WAS HIDEOUS. NOW I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO LOOK AT ANY PART OF IT. “WHAT!?” Running over to the crystal screen, I could see what he was talking about. The gas mask I was wearing had replaced the eyeholes with these really dark circles with small purple dot for pupils. These effectively were my pupils as they traveled wherever I looked. In a panic, I ripped off the gas mask at such a speed that my helmet had flown off my head and slapped Sombra right in the face of his boneless body.. He didn’t notice or didn’t care because he wasn’t even seem fazed at this. After waiting impatiently for my eyes to adjust to the low light I learned something. There was absolutely nothing wrong with my face. Looked the same as always with the exception of a few bags under my eyes due to all this stress. He was bluffing. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM THROWING YOUR HEADGEAR AT ME LEST I NEED TO CUT OFF YOUR OTHER HAND AS WELL. BY THE WAY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT YOUR MASK BACK ON. YOUR FACE LOOKS MUCH BETTER THAT WAY “B-but I thought you like, cut off my face or something...” UNFORTUNATLY, I COULD NOT DIVULGE IN THAT PLEASURE, AS I WAS LOW ON MAGIC AT THE TIME. SHOULD YOU FAIL ME HOWEVER… “O-okay man, chill. I’m sure we can reach an agreement.” At this point, I was willing to do anything to get back home and have my life back, which he would do so long as I did whatever he demanded. But I wanted a few other things if I had to go through with this. NEVER TELL ME TO ‘CHILL’ MONGREL! I HAVE BEEN TRAPPED IN THESE ICY WASTLANDS FOR MILLENIA CONSTANTLY BEING CHILL! AND TAKE THIS TRASH BACK! The sheer volume of that bellow hurtled me back into the crystal screen. Just to add insult to injury, he flung the helmet toward me at such an incredible force, I think he managed to bruise my stomach. Hastily, I threw the gas mask back on and re-attached the helmet on the off chance that he might try to choke me with his body. His body now seemed to be moving around at about the speed of a twister. After a bit of heavy breathing on his part, he thankfully seemed to calm down a bit and with that, so did his body. SINCE YOU INSIST ON MAKING THIS DIFFICULT, HOW ABOUT I THROW IN A LITTLE MORE FOR YOU? “Go on.” He remembered that pain wasn’t the way to win my favor. Obviously, he had a temper that could render him a madman incapable of making logical decisions but when calm, was a likely a master manipulator. HOW ABOUT POWER? “Power?” almost as soon as those words had left my mouth, he immediately began circling me like a clichéd villain does to the hero once they firmly believe they have the upper hand or an irresistible urge to monologue. OH YES, AS SOON AS MY RULE CAN BE RESTORED, I’M SURE I COULD FIND A TERRITORY IN WHICH YOU MAY DO AS YOU PLEASE While this did sound really tempting, the humanity in me refused the offer. “But what about all my friends back home? My games of paintball and crappy rental rates? And what about cheeseburgers?!” I wasn’t an expert in animals or anything, but I knew that horses and ponies didn’t eat meat. WHAT IS THIS ‘CHEESEBURGER’ YOU SPEAK OF? IS IT A WEAPON? Were it not for the situation I was in, I would have face-palmed right there. “Never mind that! What about my life?” I’LL GIVE YOU SOME TIME TO CONSIDER MY PROPOSAL. UNTIL THEN, I GIVE YOU THIS! I’m not sure how he did it, but he materialized a long spear with a metal head and long wooden shaft from his smoky figure (notapenis) and chucked it right at my wrist, once again piercing my arm. “Argh! God man, what is with you and mutilating my right arm?! Why d-” my personal space was once again invaded by his face. IF I WERE YOU, I’D BE RUNNING AWAY NOW. For once, I agreed with him. Immediately pivoting around on the spot, I ran down the closest tunnel and kept going, trying to keep my wrist still so as to not kill my wrist anymore than it already was. The tunnel quickly turned into a dead end with a ladder leading straight up. Seeing no other option I began climbing as fast as I could, thankfully seeing a light up ahead that didn’t come from king dickhead made me redouble my efforts as I put on an extra burst of speed to reach it. BE SURE TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION! I didn’t grasp the meaning of that until I felt him shove me from behind, causing me to burst through the light. I shot straight up and landed on my back, my left hand grabbing the spear to stop it from digging farther in to my skin. I heard a large collection of gasps and a few children crying as the music cut of abruptly except for a lone trumpeter who lost his pacing after the accompanying music stopped as well. I slowly opened my eyes and saw myself in the middle of a cobblestone street with a floating platform a few feet away from my position. The pink pegacorn thing stared at me curiously from behind the neck of the unicorn, who stood protectively in front of her. This is what he meant by make a good first impression. He wasn’t even giving me anytime to plan a fucking invasion? What kind of idiot was I working for? From behind the two on the float, another two ponies emerged both carrying spears that looked an awful lot like the one in my arm. I needed to formulate a plan that wouldn’t get me killed immediately as well as one that could confuse the public into not attacking me themselves. Jumping back up to my feet, I immediately got down an both knees and looked up towards the two and the float while making a point of holding out my wounded wrist to them. “Please! No more! We surrender! Put an end to this senseless fighting! You can take anything you want! Just stop slaughtering our families!” Judging by the shocked looks on the faces of the pedestrians and even the faces of the two on the float, I had made a pretty good first impression.