Chapter 7
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Cadance walked through the Canterlot Archives, searching for Twilight. Ever since the second wedding had failed, and after she’d spent several hours comforting the unicorn, Twilight hadn’t been seen outside the structure that housed so many ancient tomes.
True, she’d left the archives to attend the fake funeral for Chrysalis, but after that, she gone back inside nopony had seen her leave the archives since then.
Cadance was getting worried. She knew from experience that when Twilight made herself scarce amongst books, it wasn’t a good sign. She was clearly stressed about something, not that the Alicorn could blame her, what with everything that had happened in the last few weeks.
However, locking herself away from everypony wasn’t going to do Twilight any favours. If anything, it was only going to make it worse. Cadance knew she could help Twilight calm down and come to terms with everything, if only the unicorn would let her do so.
Cadance past another shelf of books, noting how, like every other book in the archives, there wasn’t any dust on them, not even the oldest books, signs that Twilight had been reading them.
“ARGH!”
Cadance, along with several others within the libary, stopped what they were doing, their heads shooting up, their ears turned in alert at the shout. That had come from the Starswirl the Bearded wing.
Cadance facehoofed. Of course. Where else would she have gone? Though, what with learning Discord and Starswirl were the same being, I would’ve thought Twilight wouldn’t want to go in there ever again.
Pushing those thoughts aside, Cadance hurried out of archives’ public area and entered the Starswirl wing... only for her jaw to drop.
The place was an absolute mess. Books, scrolls and parchment were scattered everywhere, making it look as though a tornado had been through the place.
“Nothing helps!” a voice shouted, followed by the sound of something thumping against a wall, then of somepony dropping to the floor and sobbing.
Cadance turned and headed towards the voice, to find Twilight lying on the floor behind a clearly recently searched shelf. The unicorn’s mane and tail were ragged, with strands sticking out, giving her a slightly deranged look.
Her eyes had heavy bags under them and her coat looked matted and in need of a good wash. On top of that, tears were streaming down her face as she lay there, her hooves over her muzzle.
“Twilight?” Cadance asked, taking a few tentative steps towards the sobbing mare.
Twilight glanced up at her, and her tears seemed to double in portion.
“I-I— I’m so sorry, Cadance,” she whimpered, curling up on the floor. “I haven’t found anything!”
Cadance raised an eyebrow slightly as she lay down on her stomach to be eve-level with Twilight. “What do you mean? What were you looking for?”
“A way to fix your bond,” came the weak reply.
Cadance blinked for a moment before she understood, her expression saddening a little. “Twilight you can’t change what’s happened—”
“I know!” Twilight wailed, cutting her off as she looked up, her eyes frantic, yet somehow firm. “I’ve check every book, every scroll, every note, every spell within the entire archives and I haven’t found any way of fixing your bond to Shining without endangering everypony else!”
Her sobs began shudders and Cadance quickly got up, walked around and settled down next to the distraught mare, draping a wing over her for comfort.
“I-I’ve studied e-every type of spell I c-can f-find, b-but it all ends with nothing,” Twilight’s trembling was close to vibration. “I-I could fix yours and Shining’s bond, b-but then the Changeling Q-Queen and I will lose our bonds to both of you a-and if we didn’t bond with each other, we could end up bonding with some other ponies. But then, if they have soulbond with others, their bonds to their soul mates would shatter and their soul mates’ bonds would find others, then those bonds would find others and so on and so on, until I make history repeat itself and the only way to fix it would be to—”
Twilight stopped. Cadance had pulled her into a tight embrace. Before, she’d just had a wing over her, but, during Twilight’s ramble, she’d sat up and pulled the lavender mare into a warm embrace, stopping her in her tracks.
“Twilight, stop this, please,” Cadance pleaded as she gently stroked Twilight’s mane. “You don’t have to fix anything. It wasn’t your fault. None of this is or ever will be your fault.”
“B-but—” Twilight tried, but Cadance cut her off.
“Stop tormenting yourself like this!” she begged, holding Twilight closer. “You’ve be forcing yourself to try and find a way to reverse what you did, but, Twilight, in doing so, you could destroy yourself. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. So, please,” her voice dropped to a whisper as tears of her own started to fall, “stop this. I don’t want to lose you.”
Twilight squirmed against Cadance’s hold for a few moments, trying to break free, but, eventually, she stopped, letting herself melt into the Alicorn’s embrace.
They remained that way for a long while. Just how long, Cadance wasn’t sure, but she didn’t want to try and find out and risk ruining the calm that had fallen.
After what felt like a few minutes, Cadance moved her head, intending to ask if Twilight was ready to leave the archives and maybe get something to eat (she was sure the unicorn hadn’t eaten since she first started combing through the archives) but stopped before the words left her mouth, it curled into a small smile.
Twilight had fallen asleep against her, a peaceful expression on her face.
Cadance chuckled and closed her eyes, letting Twilight get some well-needed rest.
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“Are you sure about this?” Celestia asked Cadance as they stood in front of the train. It was late in the morning and Twilight and the other Element Bearers and Spike had gotten on the train, ready to head for Ponyville.
Cadance gave a slight nod, glancing over her shoulder. She could see Twilight sitting by one of the windows, looking out at the sky with glazed eyes.
“Twilight’s been through a lot. I think she needs some time away from all this... as do I.”
Celestia gave her a knowing look. “You’re going with them, aren’t you?”
Cadance didn’t answer, there being no need. “I want to be there for her. She needs me there for her. Besides, it’s not like you’ll need us here right now. This way, we can relax a bit, settle down.”
Celestia agreed, glancing at her student with a sad smile. “Look after her, Cadance.”
Cadance smiled and turned to head into the cart Twilight and the others were in. “Good luck, auntie.” I have a feeling you’ll need it.
“Cadance,” Celestia’s voice caused Cadance to pause. “You know we had no choice but to remove it from her memory.”
Cadance sighed, nodding, but did not turn around.
After Twilight had fallen asleep in the archives, Cadance had told Celestia about what Twilight had been trying to do. Understandably, Celestia worried for Twilight and everypony else’s safety, should she try again to find a way to undo what she did, when it could not be undone.
The only way to truly repair the damage that had been done, would be for them to gather all those whose bonds had changed, including the royal guard cadet who’d been bonded to Twilight, as well as the mare he’d bonded to.
But, even then, they’d have needed to find one other pony, one who possessed no Soulbond of their own, whether they be mare or stallion to bond with the mare and the problem with that was there was no spell in existence that could allow one to see in one possessed a Soulbond. Such magic had been banned since the spell that started this whole mess had been first used.
However, Celestia knew Twilight would not stop. As long as she remembered the instructions of the spell from the book she’d read as a filly (which Celestia had made sure afterwards there was no trace of left anywhere in the world), she would try to find a way to reverse it.
The only alternative: Twilight needed to forget how to use the spell, thus, being unable to figure out anything related to said spell that could end in disaster.
With Chrysalis still fake-dead for another eighteen hours, she had asked the Changeling Carapace to help them. Since Carapace currently believed her Queen-now-Princess to be dead due to the spell Chrysalis used upon her and her fellow Changelings before she took the potion, and that Celestia had offered them safety since they no longer had a leader, she agreed to help and erased the spell from Twilight’s memory as she slept.
When Twilight awoke, she had no memory of how to cast the spell and thus, would not endanger herself or anypony else in trying to find its counter.
Cadance sighed, knowing she would have to tell Twilight this soon, glanced at her aunt one more time, then walked inside just as the doors closed and the train whistle blew as the locomotive slowly started to chug out of the station, picking up speed as it went down the track.
Cadance walked into the cart where Twilight and the others were. Aside from Twilight, they all glanced up as she entered, nodded, then went back to whatever they’d been doing, which was really just sitting around, doing nothing.
Cadance walked over to Twilight and sat down next to her. Twilight’s reflection glanced at her, before returning to the sky.
Cadance sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.
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Twilight walked into her library, feeling drained, even though they’d only been riding a train for a few hours. Spike followed, with Cadance right behind.
Cadance looked around the library and smiled. Of course Twilight would live in a library. It was the perfect home.
Suddenly, Twilight stopped, causing both dragon and Alicorn to bump into her.
“I didn’t check here.”
“Huh?” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow, though Cadance felt worry tighten in her gut.
“I have to start searching right away!” Both of them ducked as Twilight used her magic to levitate books of the shelves and started sorting them for reading at a rapid speed.
Cadance was about to speak up, not wanting to Twilight to put herself through what she had back in Canterlot, especially when she'd realize she couldn't without the information of the spell she no longer possessed, but saw Spike shake his head and point to the stairs, then started sliding on his stomach.
Once they were on the stairs and safely out of range of the multiple book projectiles flying around the room he whispered, “Once Twilight gets her mind set on something to do with books, it’s best to just let it run its course.”
Cadance didn’t like that idea, but nodded and headed upstairs, Spike showing her to the spare room, thinking that was where she’d be staying while with them.
Cadance, however, paid only half a mind to the room. She already knew where she wanted to sleep, but knew Twilight wouldn’t be comfortable with it so soon.
Five hours later, Cadance, despite Spike’s warnings, crept downstairs to see if Twilight was done.
What she found saddened her a bit. When they’d entered the library it had been spotless. Every book had a place on the shelves and everything had been ordered into a neat and tidy displace.
The scene before her, however, was the polar opposite. The floor was littered with books, papers and anything Twilight could’ve used for researching.
And, in the middle of it all, at the centre of the chaos, sat Twilight, her shoulders slumped, her ears pinned back, her head lowered.
Cadance slowly picked her way over, then sat down next to the still unicorn. “Couldn’t find anything, huh?” she asked softly.
Twilight shook her head, not looking up. “I... I don’t remember the spell. I had no idea what I was looking for... but I don’t think it’s here. I... can’t fix this.”
Cadance sighed and wrapped Twilight in her wing, holding the lavender mare close. “It’s okay. We’ll get through this. I know we will.”
Twilight only grunted a response, but it was better than nothing.
Cadance then explained to Twilight why she hadn’t been able to remember and the reason why they had removed the memory of the spell.
Dinner was quieter than normal in the Golden Oaks Library. Spike had made a vegetarian lasagne, adding some butternut pumpkin for extra flavor, since they had a guest.
After a while, Cadance decided to ask something that might lighten the mood. “So, Twilight, how have things been since we last saw each other while you were in Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns?”
Twilight jerked, her words coming out as “bbll-wha?”
Cadance chuckled and repeated the question.
Twilight’s eyes lit up and she began telling Cadance all about her last few years at Celestia’s school before moving to Ponyville and then all the crazy times she’d had since coming.
While Spike ignored this, a bored expression on his face, Cadance listened with full attention as Twilight told her about the time she’d been spending since they’d last spoken.
As Twilight told of all the fun times she’d had with her friends in Ponyville, Cadance felt slightly sad at all the time she’d missed and wished she could’ve been there for the unicorn she cared so much about.
While that title had originally been strictly reserved for Shining Armour in one way, whereas with Twilight it had been another, she cared for Twilight the most in both titles now.
She knew it was their Soulbond that was making her feel this way, just as she used to feel this way about Shining Armour. However, she wouldn’t fight it. She was the Princess of Love. She knew what she felt and would not deny it.
She and Twilight were soul mates now and nothing would change that.
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Twilight waited patiently for Cadance to finish having a shower, her towel draped over her backs as she stood outside the bathroom.
If only I could be more accommodating, she thought to herself as she leaned against the wall. We’ve only ever needed the one bathroom, what with it just being Spike and I living here. Of course, Cadance wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t broken hers and Shining’s Soulbond. Her ears drooped.
Despite everypony constantly trying to convince her it wasn’t her fault, she couldn’t stop blaming herself. Maybe, if she hadn’t been able to remember the spell, like she couldn’t now no matter how hard she tried, she might’ve remembered another healing spell, one that would’ve saved Cadance’s life, but without costing her her bond to Shining.
The sound of the door opening pulled her from her thoughts and Twilight looked up, only to find herself blushing.
Cadance’s mane was wet and, unlike Twilight had expected, had been left to hang against her body. It, coupled with the way the wetness of her fur seemed to glimmer in the light, made Twilight think Cadance looked even more beautiful than normal.
“Uh, Twilight?” Cadance’s question caused Twilight to snap out of her thought and realize the Alicorn was looking at her with a coy smile. “Is there something you wanted to say?”
“I... uh... that is... I mean...” Twilight stumbled, her brain and mouth somehow forgetting how to work together, before she noticed there was a large enough gap between Cadance and the door for her to get through. “Sorry, need to get cleaned up. Bye!” she said hastily, before shooting into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.
Cadance only chuckled, taking the hints and left.
Inside the bathroom, Twilight was standing on her hind legs, her back against the door, her eyes wide.
Did... Did I just... think of Cadance like...? She shook her head violently, dropping down to her haunches and slapping herself on the cheeks. No. No, you did not. That was just... stress. Yes! That’s it. You’ve been stressed with everything that’s happened and, despite sleeping yesterday, you’re still tired. You must be.
She walked up to the mirror to look herself in the face. As she did so, another voice, one sounding just like her own, from the logical side of her mind, seemed to speak.
You know what you were thinking and you know why you thought it. Your Soulbond is with Cadance now. That means you’re starting to get feelings for her. Heck, you’ve had feelings for her since the moment you woke up in the infirmary.
Twilight shook her head, try to dissuade these thoughts.
No! Cadance was meant to be with Shining, not me!
“Was” being the operative word. You saw the look in her eyes as you told her about what you’ve done since last time you saw each other when you were younger. She cares for you, now like a loved one than a good friend.
NO! That’s not... true. That’s not true! I’m not the pony she’s meant to be with. Besides, she’s a princess. I’m just a normal pony.
That’s a weak argument and you know it. Shining Armour was just a normal pony, yet, when they had a Soulbond, she was going to marry him. And no, his being Captain of the Royal Guard doesn’t change that. If you wanna go down that road, you’re Princess Celestia personal student, a ranking that even Shining would say outranks him, so don’t bother arguing that.
Twilight put her hooves on her head and shouted at herself inside her head. Shut up! I’m not in love with Cadance and she is not in love with me! We’re not in love! We’re not!
Lying to yourself isn’t going to change anything.
Stop it!
But it didn’t. Even as she got into the shower and turned the water on as hot as she could physically stand, the thoughts still pounded her mind.
She and Cadance were soul mates. True, it was not how things had originally been, but that was something she could not argue. She had used that spell. She had broken Cadance’s Soulbond to Shining and merged it with her own.
By the time her shower was done, Twilight felt no better, despite her hopes. She slowly made her way back to her room, got into bed and blew out the candle, wondering how long she could deny what part of her kept telling her was the truth.