//------------------------------//
// The Skooma Predicament 
// Story: M'aiq The Liar. 
// by Enigmus 
//------------------------------//



"The island of naked ladies? Yes, M'aiq has heard of that. It only appears when the moon is full, the seas run red, and it is M'aiq's birthday." ~M'aiq the Liar



The town of Berxley wasn't very impressive, but M'aiq was used to towns being small and boring. After all, Skyrim was full of wannabe cities that are worse than a group of dirty hovels ran by the Forsworn. This town, as boring as it might seem, wasn't as bad as he had previously thought it to be. No one here claimed to be living inside a city. They simply seemed content with their lives, and the others around them. It was a nice change to be in a happy town like this one. Sure, he got a few weird looks here and there, but that was to be expected when meeting an entirely new intelligent species. He got the feeling, however, that they were used to seeing a multitude of intelligent creatures, which led him to believe that there were probably different intelligent species besides ponies.

Nephyr pointed a hoof towards a building that vaguely resembled a store, but was sleek and clean, unlike most of the stores in Skyrim, "That's the grocery store where everyone gets their... well, groceries. Ole' Frazzle has ran the place ever since I was a colt."

M'aiq raised an eyebrow at the name of the proprietor of the store, "Frazzle? M'aiq wonders why you ponies have such strange names. He has come up with a theory, however. M'aiq thinks that you all have strange names because you're all strange. This is correct, no?"

Nephyr adopted a look of annoyance for whatever reason, "No, that's not why we have weird na-" he stopped himself and shook his head quickly, "we don't have weird names! Frazzle Dazzle has a really cool name, okay?"

M'aiq covered his mouth with a hand to keep himself from laughing, "F-Frazzle... Dazzle?"

Nephyr stopped walking, which in turn stopped M'aiq. The pony eyed the khajiit carefully, obviously irked at the fact that he was about to bust out laughing. In all of his travels, he had never come across a stranger name like Frazzle Dazzle. It was so damn funny that he thought he was legitimately going to pop a nut by keeping it in. Without any further restraint, the kahjiit let loose a torrent of unbridled laughter. He gripped his stomach, which was now starting to hurt quite a lot.

Nephyr's face shifted from annoyance to anger, "What?! What in Tartarus are you laughing at? And don't tell me it's about Frazzle Dazzle's name!"

At the exact moment that M'aiq heard Nephyr say the old pony's name again, his laughter increased ten fold. Spectators from all directions stopped to watch the commotion. There was a lot of confusion, but as they say, laughter truly is contagious. One by one, each pony went from small chuckles to full-blown laughter. Soon, a massive crowd was laughing, some even rolling on the ground. The fools didn't even know what they were laughing at! M'aiq decided then and there that he loved this town. This was priceless!

Nephyr looked around him with a gaping mouth of surprise, "I... they're... laughing? Just because he was laughing? I'm... I'm surrounded by morons."

Soon, the laughter subsided, and the ponies went about their day as if nothing had happened. Though, M'aiq got quite a few smiles and looks of approval. Whatever prejudice the residents of this town held before about him, it was almost certainly gone now. And all he had to do was laugh like a maniac. He chuckled a bit and patted Nephyr's back, feeling happier than he had been in a very long time. The look of acceptance was almost foreign to him, and he really didn't want to lose it.

Nephyr shook his head, smiling a bit despite himself, "Alright, let's head to the mayor's office. If anypony knows about how you got here, she'll know. Or she'll at least be able to give us a few leads. I hope."

M'aiq stretched his arms out, a huge smile still present on his face, "After all that, M'aiq could do with some skooma. After all, what better way to soothe your nerves than skooma? Well, I suppose not soothe... more like energize."

Nephyr looked a little confused, "Skooma? What's that?"

M'aiq's smile disappeared in an instant, "Skooma. You know... skooma. M'aiq is worried now. If you, a doctor, has never heard of skooma, then the townsfolk definitely haven't. Please tell M'aiq that you are playing a sick and twisted joke on him. This isn't funny, you monster. There are some lines you don't cross."

Nephyr looked over M'aiq with concern, "No, I've really never heard of skooma before. I assure you, I'm not joking. I'm assuming it's some kind of food or drink... and if I've never heard of it, I doubt anyone else in this town has."

M'aiq's body froze as the sudden realization of his predicament came crashing down upon the very core of his soul. His eyes were as big as saucers, and his body was trembling in terror and despair. He stared off in front of him, looking at nothing in particular. The horror of a world without skooma was too much for his heart to bear. He had loved this town a minute ago, and now all he wanted to do was to get the hell out of it. Maybe Tamriel wasn't so bad after all.

Nephyr's voice brought him back to reality, though only partially, "M'aiq, just keep it together, alright? I'll try to get skooma for you when I can,  okay? It's not like it's the end of the world, or anything like that."

M'aiq sighed a bit as he decided to wait to see if the world actually did have skooma or not. As they were walking, his eyes widened again, but instead of a look of despair, a look of joy and realization formed on his face. After that mental meltdown, he had actually forgotten that he had three bottles of skooma. He'd just have an alchemist analyze one of the potions and make some for him. But for now, it was time to get his drink on.

M'aiq got into his bag and retrieved one of the bottles he had, eyeing it with a crazy eyes, "M'aiq wants to suck on your hole all night long, baby... yeah..."

Nephyr stopped walking again, but didn't turn around, "E-excuse... me...?"

M'aiq looked up from his skooma, thanking the nine divines that cats couldn't physically blush, "Oh, M'aiq does not mean you. He means the skooma that he forgot in his bag. You have not taken him out to dinner. M'aiq does not put out that easily."

Nephyr didn't say anything, but merely shook his head in silence. The walk was uneventful, and his new friend actually had the audacity to stop and have conversations along the way as if they didn't have a situation to deal with. They eventually made it to the mayor's office, which was  a massive relief. It was an unimpressive building in an even more unimpressive town, and it was only one story high. A sign above the door did indeed indicate that it was the mayor's office. It was clean and homey just like all the other buildings, but it wasn't anything special. They headed inside and were met with a cool draft blowing against them. M'aiq suspected some type of magic, but instead he found a... strange rotating device. Blades were spinning inside a small cage to create wind. Whoever made this device was an absolute genius.

M'aiq walked up to the strange contraption, awe-struck by the ingenuity it possessed, "M'aiq... he has never seen such an amazing machine before. Is it powered by magic?"

Nephyr nudged M'aiq to go into a small room off to the left, "It's a fan... sweet mother of... how do you not know what this is? Ah, forget it. just get in there, so we can talk to the mayor."

M'aiq and Nephyr knocked on the door, which was opened almost immediately by some sort of cyan magical glow that wrapped around the handle. It seems that these ponies were capable of magic as well. The interior of the office was small, but just as homey as the outside of the building was. A blue unicorn was seated at a desk at the far end, opposite of the door. This particular pony looked to be male just like Nephyr. When you looked at these ponies, it was actually very easy to tell their gender from their muzzles.

The unicorn spoke up with a smile, "Ah, hello there! I've no idea what you are, but you're welcome in our little town regardless. We here at Berxley have no prejudice against anyone! Oh, and hey there, Nephyr! Now, what can I, a humble mayor, do for you? Oh, and the name's Krieger."

M'aiq stepped forward after being silently nudged by Nephyr, "M'aiq would like to ask you a few questions. Do you know anything about M'aiq, or how he may have gotten to this town? He woke up outside of this town after being struck by a blast of summoning magic."

Krieger's welcoming, and no doubt practiced, smile faltered a bit, but stayed in place, "That's definitely not a good thing, now is it? No, I can't say that I know anything. Though, I do know of somepony that'll take an interest in your situation. I'll send a letter to one of the princesses of the land, and she'll make sure that you get home. Unfortunately, the message will take some time to reach her, so you'll have to stay the night once or twice. Maybe even three times if the weather is terrible. But our mail pony will get the letter to its destination eventually. Do you have a place to stay? If not, I could arrange a place for you."

Nephyr stepped forward and said before M'aiq could respond, "I have a spare bedroom M'aiq can use while he waits. Unless you want to stay somewhere else?"

M'aiq looked down at Nephyr in surprise, "M'aiq is humbled by your offer. Yes, he wishes to stay with you until we get a response from the princess. Thank you. Also..." he looked back at the mayor, "do you know of an alchemist in town? M'aiq only has three bottles of skooma, and he wishes to get his drink on. He would like to get one of the bottles of skooma analyzed so more can be made."

Krieger nodded, "Well, we do have an herbalist at the far end of town. She's pretty good at what she does. That's the closest thing we have to an alchemist here at Berxley."

M'aiq nodded once, "This will do just fine. M'aiq thanks you for your honesty. That is all the questions that he has for now."

Krieger let loose an unnaturally large smile, which was obviously fake, "You're welcome, dear visitor! Berxley is a hospitable town, and there is absolutely no prejudice. None at all. I swear. None. You have a good day now!"

M'aiq wondered why Krieger pointed out that there was no discrimination in the town so many times. There was something off about the mayor, something that made M'aiq feel uncomfortable and a little concerned. He'd have to keep an eye on Krieger for a while just in case. Nephyr and M'aiq made their way out of the office, then the building. He wasn't sure about where to go in this town, so he simply followed Nephyr. He really wanted to get to this herbalist as quick as he could, though.

Nephyr pointed down a long road that went through the town, "At the end of that road at the edge of town... that's where the herbalist lives. Bu I should warn you that she's a bit... off. She really likes cats. Like, a lot."

M'aiq brushed a bit of dirt off his right shoulder, deciding that he'd have to clean his robe sometime today, "Everyone likes M'aiq for his handsome face, and his sexy body. Cats are naturally amazing. This herbalist sounds wise."

Nephyr chuckled nervously and muttered to himself, "On the contrary... she's bat-shit crazy."