27.
“I’m beginning to suspect that they don’t know what a chicken is,” Lyra said as she looked at the screen over the top of her sunglasses where the humans on it were doing remarkably poor imitations of fowl on it. While they all were close enough to piece together what they were trying to do, not a one had anything anywhere close to being right. They all looked remarkable entirely unlike the chickens they were pretending to be while making sounds that were entirely unlike any sound a rooster or hen would make.
I chuckled and pushed some bits into the center of the table. “Woah there. You don’t want to jump right into the beginning of suspicion off the top. You want to carefully consider something that drastic first, don't’ you?” I teased before adding. “Raising you foals ten, by the by.”
It was another fun time in The Glade. Ever since my big reveal, the poker night had been turned into a ‘human’ night for all to enjoy. The novelty of my movies, music and shows had drawn in ponies from neighboring townships to watch the odd shows, even though they had to rely on the subtitles. Some wanted to dissect the laptop to figure out how its magic worked, but most ponies were happy with the show by itself. I’d made a careful effort to make sure only a few shows ran every week so as to draw the number of shows out for as long as possible for Merlot. The extra business was the least I owed him.
“Raise you another ten on top of that,” Thunderlane snorted before he glanced at the screen and gave his head a shake. “I just can’t believe how bad they are. Like, to their core. They’re horrible! Other than the foals, there’s not a lick of harmony between any of them.”
“That’s the fun of the show! It’s called ‘schadenfreude’. It means you enjoy watching bad people get what’s coming to them,” I explained. “You get it, right Mac?”
He pushed his cards into the center to fold, and I looked for any tell I could. That stupid apple-themed toque over his ears was still thwarting my efforts. “Eyup.”
“That’s another thing. We don’t have a word for schada whatever, so how are you saying it in Equestrian?” Lyra pointed out as she pushed in her cards with Mac’s. She had gotten over retching whenever she saw a hand (or a ‘pink spider claw’ as she called them) on the screen at least, and started to actually like some of the shows. It was a played up reaction for sure and got old quickly.
The question, however, was legitimate. “I think I’m just making it up. Closest correct sounds, maybe. Or I’m just saying something totally random and the spell just makes it ‘right’ in my head. But, as the only one that actually speaks any human around here, I guess it doesn’t matter either way,” I answered, before looking at my dwarfed stack of coins in front of me. Thunder’s aggressive play was really paying off for him tonight, but I could afford to take a hit if my gamble didn’t pay off. “All in.”
Thunderlane looked at me as if I just slapped him. “Ah, come on. Don’t be like that. I don’t want to knock you out of the game this early,” he said. Yup. There it was. His wings were flaring just a little too much, and that confirmed he was nervous about being called. After a moment of waiting for me to pull back the bet, he tossed in his cards. “I’ll get you for that.”
I quickly raked in my winnings while Lyra started shuffling. There was a few words of praise for the ‘good’ play and a few more promises of vengeance.
“So, that guy on the screen right now. He said he was a magician but how does that work when you said that there isn’t magic where you come from?” Lyra asked before she divided out the hands and sent them out to us.
I arched an eyebrow and dropped the bit I had in my mouth back into the pile. Stacking them up could wait for later. “How do you mean? They’re illusions, and not very good ones. That’s the point.”
“Yeah. You can totally see where the lighter fluid came from, too,” snarked Thunderlane. “The hose is sticking out of his sleeve.”
“Again, that’s the point! He’s horrible at it but thinks he’s the best,” I repeated.
“But, you said, there was no magic, even illusions. And, here he is doing them. Unless this stuff is like the force and totally made up. Seriously, Jedis aren’t anything special,” Lyra said before fanning out her cards in front of her. I admit, I was jealous that she could do that "Check it out. The Force is strong with this one." and I couldn’t.
“Oh! Jeeze. Right. No magic whatsoever needed for that stuff. Just wires, smoke and mirrors with some slight of hand when it’s done right. There’s whole shows dedicated to that stuff over there, and some guys can blow your mind with how smooth it is. Especially, when you consider humans have no magic,” I said, before adding. “It’s one of the best things about being over here.”
“Psst. Scriber. Hate to break it to you, but you’re an earth pony. You still don’t got any magic,” whispered Thunderlane before getting a few chuckles.
I gave my head a shake. “What, you think you need a horn to do magic? You kidding me? That’s from a guy that sits on water vapor half the day, while talking at a table with another guy that can get individual fruit to fall perfectly into buckets with a single kick. If that’s not magic, what is?”
Lyra checked, then threw her two bits into the conversation instead. “He’s got you there, Thunder. Did you just sleep through that lesson in school?”
“Well, yeah it’s magic, but not real magic,” he defended. “Not like you pin-heads.”
"Hey!"
"I only say it because you guys need to be knocked down a pin or two. Out of love."
I shook my head at the squabbling. “Anyways, I know you don’t consider that whole ‘flying and sitting on clouds’ thing magic, but to an out-of-towner like me, it’s the real deal.
"Heck, the other day I was fooling with a cut off of some black iron and after a bit of working between my hooves, I got a coiled bit of spring steel. The metallurgy on that makes my head spin and 'magic' is the only way I'd explain it."
They didn't seem as impressed as I was with it but seriously, that should be completely impossible by the laws of chemistry alone.
"So, you're going to miss being able to do that?" Thunder asked through a mouthful of fries.
"How do you mean?"
"When you go back, you won't be able to use any sort of magic anymore," Lyra pointed out. "Are you going back?"
Aw, crud. This was exactly the can of worms I hoped would stay unopened but it was unavoidable. The crash site was now crawling with soldiers and researchers that were making preparations to open the highway up once more. There was even a the beginnings of a human embassy in city hall just so Equestria could be polite and offer something right after first contact.
Of course, this meant the rumours were flying right now with the biggest of them was I was going back to Earth (And the reason was split between by exile and by choice). While Princess Luna unofficially tapped me in a dream, I was approached officially with the offer a week ago to be Equestria's first envoy to Earth and start meeting the authorities to get them ready to meet a whole new world. The choice was sound; it was my homeworld after all and I should know what to expect and look for but there was a stack of lingering doubts that made it hard for me to go for it. I gave a rather non-committal answer to buy myself a few days to think. That was a week ago and I wasn't any closer to an answer now.
"I don't know entirely. Maybe?" I replied with a shrug.
"How can't you know?" Lyra asked. “I mean, I get wanting to stay here, but, you should know what you’re going to do.”
"It's complicated," I said with my head turned down enough so the brim of my hat stopped me from having to see Lyra's eyes.
"By which he means he's sleeping wi-" started Thunder only to be cut off by Big Mac clearing his throat and shaking his head disapprovingly. To be fair though, he was right in that Berry was a big source of my hesitation, but that was a gross simplification of the situation.
"Thanks, Big Mac. There is that, but there's other things too, like the ‘Google Translate’ problem," I said to get the conversation moving again.
That got a round of blank stares.
"Okay. Back on Earth, there's a tool called Google. Think of it as a massive information index where you can look up anything."
"Anything?" Lyra asked curiously.
"Anything."
"Even apples?" Thank you for joining in, Big Mac. Your input has been noted.
"Yeah. Types, nutritional values, historical events and anyone associated with them like Steve Jobs, Fiona Apple and Johnny Appleseed," I explained. It’s funny that it was always ‘pony-named’ people always came to my mind first.
“So, what does apples got anything to do with you?” Thunder mumbled through his mouthful of fries.
“What? No. Apples don’t have anything to do with this or me,” I snapped, trying to claw crashing train of thought back on the track.
“So why did you mention them?”
“Big Mac mentioned them. I didn’t!” I stated.
“Yeeeeeup,” the big red pony droned.
“See. You mentioned apples,” snarked Thunder.
“That’s not what he meant and you know it!” I nickered.
“But you said Google knew all about them” he pressed.
“What? Yeah, but... Whatever. We're getting sidetracked. My point is that it can translate one language to another and the first time you do it, it's pretty close but never perfect, but every language has its own nuance, idioms and syntax. Going between them makes cumulative changes to the meaning and they all add up surprisingly fast. And, that doesn’t have anything to do with apples!,” I spat out, getting all out before the next interruption. Big Mac noticeably deflated at the declaration of the lack of apple relevance to my situation.
“So, why does Google have to know so much about apples to do translations? Are they important?” Thunder asked earnestly though I think he had to be trolling now. I was left entirely at a loss for words.
Lyra stepped in at that point. "So, what you're saying is that you been translated once from human to pony, and you scared that you won't be the same if you go back because the changes will add up to make you a different pony? Or, uh, human.”
“Yes! That’s exactly it. Thank you Lyra,” I said. It was so much easier to be calm when the table wasn’t filled of of crazy illogical babbling. “I know that the spell hit me in a lot of ways, and well, I’m scared to go through it again. Who knows if I’ll even be me if I keep doing it.”
“Oh! You should’ve just said what Lyra said. That’d been a lot more clear than the whole apple thing,” the dark pegasus said before scooping up another mouthful of his snack and resuming his munching.
“Yeup.”
“I tried to! Was Lyra the only one here paying attention?” I asked of the table.
“Apparently,” Lyra answered. “But I get it. I’d be hesitant to be going through that gate again with that sort of thing over your head. It’d be safer to wait until they can set up one that isn’t so crazy. If they can, that is.”
There was a loud gulp followed by a quick, snorted laugh. “Heh, wimp!” Thunder scoffed.
It was amazing how quickly that one word got a spike of anger going through my gut. “What the heck, Thunder? I don’t want to be changed further than I already am,” I retorted quickly and leaned across the table at him.
“Whoa! Reign it in a notch. I’m not Cuffs,” Thunder said with a wave of his hooves in front of him. “What I’m getting at is that pegasi are risk takers by nature and I’d go if I was in your situation. Heck, there’s probably a bunch of pegasi that are ready to go already and they don’t even got anything over there to go for beyond some new sky to fly. If you really wanted what was on the other side of that gate bad enough, you’d just figure out a way to get there. Obviously, you don’t want to go bad enough is all I’m saying.”
“I had a life over there!” I snapped.
“And you said goodbye to it in style a couple weeks ago, and aren’t exactly lining up to get back to it. Instead, you’re here, playing poker with your friends and looking remarkably like you got a life here,” he pointed out with a bit of smugness in his voice.
I wanted to say something, but once again, I was left worldless by the pegasus. Instead, Lyra spoke up. “It’s probably better he stays here anyways. He’s got good things going here. Good things. A lot of good things! Why risk it all when he’s already happy here?”
“But, he’s got family over there. He can’t just leave em. That’s just not right,” Big Mac said, getting a surprised jump out of all three of us. I think he just tripled the number of words I’ve heard from him ever in one outburst, but he had a good point.
“And he’s got friends here! And, seriously? You want him to be a pony-eating, creepy hairless monkey again?,” Lyra pointed out while trying to create an illusion of a hand with her magic. “Ick!”
“Do I get a say in this?” I asked of the two debaters.
“Oh, please. If you had a clue what you wanted, you’d spoke up when you first found out about the highway,” Thunder said with a half smirk, while the rest of the conversation continued around me..
“I bet you want me to leave just so I would stop winning at the table all the time,” I joked right back. Of course, he did have a point.
“You don’t win all the time, and honestly, I don’t really care,” he nonchalantly answered with a shrug of the wings.
That single statement got everypony around the table to look his way. “Well, that was unduly harsh,” I said on behalf of the table.
It took him a moment to register how all of us were looking at him. “Oh, come on! I didn’t mean it like that, guys. I mean, it’s his life. It’d be like when Cloudkicker took that job in Manehatten. Sure, we miss her, but she’s a grown mare and she made a choice to go and we got to respect it. If Scriber goes, it’d is the same thing. We’d miss him, but what sort of friends would we be if we kept him from going where he chooses?” he explained, then chuckled as he looked into his glass. “I suppose we all just move on in our own ways, and I bet everyone on the other side are doing that too. So, whatever he chooses, I know that I’m one hundred percent behind him. Can you two say that?”
The others looked stymied at Thunder. “Well, thanks Thunder. That means a lot to me,” I said, giving him a little nudge to the side. Of course, this is the same sort of non-advice and thoughts that I’ve already had going through my head, but to hear that he’d be alright with whatever happens did give me a bit of hope. Sorta. What if they just moved on? Or maybe there was time dilation between here and earth and they really had a long time to move on and forget?
And, I’m really over-thinking this. I needed more information before I could panic properly and that means I got to talk to a lot of ponies first. And I knew who was first on the list, but she’d have to wait until I got home.
“Scriber?” Lyra asked.
“Yeah?”
“You just went really, really quiet and you've been touching Thunder for a full minute now,” she said and sure enough, my hoof was still on that dark pegasus. He was looking all too proud of himself for the contact.
“I don’t mind, though it might make Hot Dish a little jealous,” he said with a flirtatious wink and smirk. “Unless you’re willing to come out and join us sometime.”
I withdrew my hoof immediately and gave it an extra rub on my vest while making the conscious effort to forget the last few seconds I just experienced. Yeah. Anyways, this might be getting a little too heavy for a poker night. How about we go back to cards and watching horrible humans making poor life choices. But, uh, thanks guys.”
Lyra drew the cards up with her magic and started shuffling the cards while the next episode queued up on the screen. All in all, this still had the makings of a good night but it just gave me some thoughts to mull. I’d definitely need to have a talk with Berry soon but for now, I could just worry about how I could make a winning hand out of a jack high. The rest could wait.
******
Getting home late is never optimal when you know you got a light sleeper in the house. You don’t want to be rude and there’s an innate shame in sneaking in after all other good folk have settled in to sleep for the night. Add in the fact there was no way to keep your hooves from clipping on a hard floor, directional hearing, and you feel like you’re going to wake the townships when armed with a single squeaky floorboard.
I think it was the mild buzz I still had that made me feel like I did pretty good for some reason. Probably bravado. Anyways, I closed the door behind me and made it partly down the hallway on my hooftips when I was corrected about the quality of my stealth. “Scriber? Is that you?” a weary voice asked.
I winced. “Uh. Yeah. Sorry Berry,” I whispered.
“What?” she asked. She was coming out of her room to see me.
“You can stay in bed,” I whispered again, and it was about that time when I saw her poke her head out around the corner I realised there wasn’t a need to whisper at all as there was only the two of us in this house.
“You’re home late,” she yawned. It was hard not to laugh at the messed mane that’d make Pinkamena proud.
Too late to be sorry. “Not if I planned to be this late to start with. Then I’m right on time by being this late,” I joked. She didn’t get it or that joke sounded so much better in my head because she didn’t laugh but she did rub some of the sleep out of her eyes. Even half asleep and every bit of hair on her puffed out, she was adorable.
“Did you have a fun time?” she asked while she closed up the distance.
“Yeah. Even up about two bits at the end of the evening,” I declared puffing up my chest, then . “Metaphorical bits. They took my money tonight, but there was a pretty important conversation. I think we got to talk tomorrow morning. But, rest well and goodnight.”
I got about three steps closer to my room when she called after me. “Scriber. You’re not going to walk away from me after saying that.”
“Well, you’re asleep. Or you were before I got here,” I said turning about to see her looking cross at me. Apparently that wasn’t a good enough answer.
“Well, I’m up now and not doing anything better. Let’s talk,” she stated without any room in negotiation. She was even heading to the kitchen before she was done, and I fell into line to follow her. We sat down at the table across of each other and she laid out exactly what she wanted in the first sentence. “We’re not going to do that whole, ‘angry misunderstanding’ thing again so out with it.”
“Uh. Right. Just like that?” I asked.
“Yeah. Just like that. I even promise not to get mad,” she offered.
“How do you know you’d get mad?”
“You wouldn’t be this worried about giving me good news,” she said before she took a deep calming breath and even smiled at me. “There. See. Perfectly safe for you.”
It was now or never, and she was braced for it, so I got to say it now. It was my turn to take a deep breath and just say it. Just like pulling a bandaid off. Make it quick. “I think I got to go back to earth.”
“What? You’re serious? After all you’ve said?” Berry croaked with her cheeriness dropping entirely away.
Her smile was gone but she was still listening so I had to keep going. “Not for good, I think. I mean, I got to go back if I got the chance because everypony... everyone on the other side has to know what happened to me. It wouldn’t be right to not at least do that.”
Her hooves were on the table and she was leaning across the table now, with her eyes demanding answers from me. “But, you’re not going for good, are you? You’re coming back home right?”
That was the question I wish I knew the answer to. The asinine answer would be ‘ yes’. I’d be home no matter what side I ended up on. But, I couldn’t do that to her; she was too good to me. I had to be honest. “I don’t know. I want to, but it’ll be hard. What would you do to see your family again? I know that it’s not fair to you. I’m just dragging your heart around and hurting and you don’t deserve it.”
She looked up at me and then just sighed into her hooves. “Damn it, Scriber. I just gave up drinking and you tell me that?”
“I’m sorry, Berry,” I said sadly. I was hurting her. Again. After all I said, and I was hurting her.
She peered out at me from between her hooves. “No. Don’t be sorry. I’d do the same thing to see mom and dad again,” she said as she struggled with restraining her tears. “I get it.”
It felt like I should say something more but what could I say now? I just sat across from her in silence while she struggled not to cry but that wasn’t enough either. My hoof creeped across the table and touched hers, and she pressed hers in. It was her that spoke first again. “When do I get to be happy, Scriber?”
“Berry. Your life doesn’t begin and end with me. You’re a wonderful pony that deserves all the happiness in the world.” I was on autopilot. If that sounded good, you could thank the fortune cookie I stole it from. How could you answer something like that and not sound like you’re scrambling?
“Then, why can’t I get it? Everypony leaves me! My mom, my dad. My friends. The town,” she snapped. “Only reason why Merlot stuck with me because I brought him bits every day!”
She was being so obtuse right now. She had so much and all she had to do is just let herself see it. “Berry! He cares for you, too! You got more ponies on your side than you’re seeing!”
Her hoof shoved against mine, and she yelled so loudly that her voice was nothing more than a sharp whinny. “I don’t want the town! I want you and you’re going to run away, too!”
I wasn’t running! Why couldn’t she get what was happening here. I didn’t want to hurt her! That was the last thing I wanted to do! I screamed right back at her the first thing that I could put together coherently “Dammit, Berry! You got me! I love you!”
We stared at each other in silence.
The silence continued.
She opened her mouth to say something. Nothing came out.
She knew what I said. I knew what I said.
Those three little words seemed to echo in the room much longer than it seemed possible and the world was polite enough to stay on hold while we took them in. It was my turn to go first. I didn’t have the energy to yell anymore. I couldn’t even be angry. I just felt small and weak, not for what I said, but for not admitting it earlier. “I love you,” I meekly repeated. I followed it with a sniffle and a weak smile.
Her resolve broke entirely and tears flooded down her cheeks. “I love you, too,” she sobbed.
There was no way that I was going to leave her crying like that, and I made my way around the table to her and pulled her close and her hooves pulled just as insistently as mine. I could hold her like this as long as she needed, but I had more to say. “This is why things are so messed up. I love you. There’s people back home that I love just as much. If I leave, it’s going to feel like I’m leaving half my heart here, but I already left the other half on the other side. But I’ve got to do it, Berry.” I wasn’t doing much better than her when it came to tears, but I didn’t need to see to burry my face into her mane. “I’d come back for you.”
“Then, let me go with you,” she said while she clung to my body. “I don’t want anypony I love to leave again.”
In that instant, all the worries about what the highway could do to me moved on to her. Would she come through unscathed? As a human? Or worse, just a pony from earth? Would her memories change? Would she remember me? Would I? What if only one of us remembered the other? There were too many questions and unknowns to say anything else. I squeezed her harder. “Berry, I can’t let you do that for me. They’ll be able to make other highways if this works, but this one is wild. I don’t want you to go through it and come out as something I don’t know. I don’t want to lose you either.”
“I don’t want to lose you. I don’t care how dangerous it is, Scriber!” she pleaded.
“I do and it’s only by sheer fluke I’m intact here and with you! I don’t want to see you get hurt or worse. Please Berry, you don’t have to risk it!” To be honest, I don’t think the guards would allow her through for the exact same reasons I was worried about but I didn’t want to hide behind them to keep her safe.
She pulled back, eyes streaming. “What if you go and don’t come back?” she forced herself to say in a tiny weak voice. “I don’t know what I’ll do.”
Oh, how I wish I could shield her from everything that could happen while going back to earth to see what had become of everyone I knew, but there was just one of me. “You’re stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for. That’s why I need you here. I need somepony to come back to.”
“Then, you’re coming back?” she asked weakly.
“If there was any pony that could make me come back, it’s you, Berry,” I replied while squeezing her a little tighter to my body. “It’s all messed up. I know I’m going to to hurt somepony and there’s no way to stop it. I just want to be there for everypony here and there and it’s just not possible. All I can do is try and soften the blow for where it lands and I feel like a jerk for even being in this situation.”
“It’s not your fault, Scriber. I get it. I just don’t like it,” she whimpered.
“You’re not the only one. No matter what I’m going to do, I’m going to break at least two hearts,” I sighed. It was hard to keep a reign on the emotions right now with her trembling breaths against me.
“Two?” she asked. She pulled away just far away enough to look me in the eyes.
“Yeah. One of them is going to be my own,” I said with a sad smile.
She must’ve understood where I was saying because she had the same sad smile. “Well, you don’t need to do anything yet. Maybe I can make your choice a bit easier before you do go?” she said.
“Berry,” I groaned, though the innuendo was unmistakable. I knew she was smarter than that too, but I couldn’t help but go with my instincts. “Really?”
“What?” she said with her brow furrowed. “Oh, for Celestia’s sake, I didn’t mean it that way! Why would you even think that?”
I chuckled, “We were getting pretty close to having a moment. I had to ruin it somehow.” The joke relieved a little of the tension though I didn’t feel any better for it. Even my laugh felt hollow in my gut, but at least I tried to lighten the mood.
She looked aghast for the first moment before it registered that I was just joking like I usually do, and after a shake her head, her smile looked a little brighter. She still sniffled a little as she spoke though, “Anyways, you’re here now and I want us to be happy, so let’s just worry about that until you’ve got to go. Then, I’ll… do something.”
“We’ll figure that out when that comes up, but it’s late tonight and it’s not exactly the time to be planning out major life events,” I said. I wish I could put my thankfulness for her understanding into words. We both knew that it’d be so much simpler if I could just stay here, and the reason why I couldn’t. “Even if things end up with me on the other side, I’m not going to just leave you wondering what happened if I got anything to say about it.”
“Yeah. It’s late. Let’s get to bed, and we can figure this out when we aren’t half asleep,” she said before she tugged on a mouthful of my mane to pull me towards her bedroom.
“Berry! We aren’t doing that,” I protested though the tug made me take a step in the direction. It was surprisingly hard to not to follow a pull to the mane, even if you’re twice the size of the puller.
She dropped the hold. “I know that, but if you’re going to vanish soon, I do want as many cuddles as I can get,” she said with a flick of her head towards the bedroom. “Get going.”
I didn’t need to really think much more on that. “Okay.”
She was already going when I just tossed my hat and vest in the direction of my room, and moved to follow her. Late night cuddles, sleep and more planning sounded like a plan I could live with. Maybe I could figure out the winning move with Berry’s help.