//------------------------------// // An Apple A Day // Story: Stallions of Equestria: Adam's Apple // by mr lovecolt //------------------------------// Chapter Four: An Apple A Day Applejack grunted as she pushed the barn door open, hooves sinking into the mud. Adam stood at the entrance. Umbrella in one hand and cup of coffee in the other, he waited for the farm pony to return to his side to usher him in. The sound of raindrops pelting the metal roof echoed through the barn as Adam tried to peer into the darkness. “Can’t believe it’s still so dark from the clouds,” Applejack muttered as she reached against the wall to find the lantern. “Yes, the clouds are the problem.” Adam took a large swig. “The fact that it is six-thirty in the morning and Celestia is only just beginning to raise the sun is irrelevant.” “Amy used to be the first one up every mornin’,” Applejack said, “in fact, sometimes, she’d be the one makin’ breakfast. One mornin’ when she and Gee Dee first met, he walked into the kitchen and—” “Tell me she was singing to herself,” Adam cut her off. “More than that, she was dancin’ to herself.” “Awesome.” Adam took another sip of coffee, though this time he did so while sporting a large smirk. “I’m sure for Gee Dee, it was love at first sight, if you get my drift,” she said as she nudged Adam’s side. “Miss Applejack, why couldn’t you have let me have my satisfaction?” “Serves you right.” She held out the lantern, reached for the box of matches kept nearby, and struck one of the matchsticks against her hoof. As the light grew, Adam’s eyes widened as Applejack trotted through the barn and lit each lantern on the support beams, revealing row upon row of barrels stacked to the roof. “Amy did all of this?” Adam asked as he entered the barn and shook off the umbrella. “Eeyup,” Applejack replied as she shook out her mane and tail, “if only we knew why she organized it this way.” “This is…” Adam’s words trailed off as he counted the rows and columns and multiplied the numbers in his head. “This has to be at least a thousand barrels—on either side.” He turned back to the mare. “Miss Applejack, how many apples are in each barrel?” He waited as Applejack moved her eyes back and forth as though she could see the numbers in front of her. Adam leaned the umbrella against a nearby barrel and began to massage his temple as the rain continued to fall. “Well, we got a bushel in a barrel, and ‘bout a hundred-twenty apples in a bushel, so Ah reckon we got ‘bout quarter-million apples in here.” Adam’s eye twitched as the barrels seemed to grow even larger in his mind. “Somethin’ the matter?” “There are no labels on these barrels, Miss Applejack, and I—” “Sugarcube, I gotta deal with Rarity callin’ me ‘Miss’.” She reached out and placed a hoof on Adam’s arm. “We’re family, just Applejack’s fine,” the mare chuckled as she pointed to the door. “Now, me and Big Mac are gonna be out buckin’ the apples in the East Field. I hope you can figure out somethin' here by the time we get back with the first cart of ‘em.” “You two are going to be working?” Adam walked to the door and pointed at the sky. “Eeyup.” “But in this? Applejack, that hardly seems healthy.” Adam turned to the homestead just in time to see Big Macintosh step out onto the porch. The stallion looked out towards the direction of the East Field with a determined grin and began to stretch his legs out. Adam saw Big Macintosh twist his body back and forth, as though he was working out some kinks in his back, and noticed his tail as it swished back and forth. “Adam?” “Yes?” Adam shook his head and turned back to Applejack. “Sorry, I’m not used to being up this early, so I may seem a bit absent-minded. Back to the subject at hand—hoof. This cannot possibly be a good idea,” he continued, unable to hide the concern in his voice, “what if one of you gets sick?” “Well, it ain’t like we’re gonna just sit in the house while you stay out here,” Applejack said as she turned back to the barrels and walked a few steps away, “though these barrels can get mighty heavy. I move faster through the fields, so maybe I can convince Big Mac to help you out in here and—” “No!” Applejack leaped back and then turned back towards Adam, cocking her head to the side as she did. Adam had his hands up but slowly lowered them to his sides. He then proceeded to the nearest barrel and inspected it. “I do not need help to figure out how she did it,” Adam said, “surely, she must have put some sort of label on these barrels.” He held the lantern up to his face as he looked on. “The lantern light isn’t exactly helping me locate it, however,” he sighed “Well, Amy did manage to talk to Twi and get an electric light put up here.” Applejack pointed to a metal stand near the back of the barn. “That should help you see the mark for what type of apple is in each one. Just shine the light on the barrel and you’ll find it…” Applejack’s voice faded as Adam’s attention turned once again turned to the stallion on the front porch. “—and that’ll make it easier for you. Amy said she branded each barrel and that the instructions would explain it, but I couldn’t find them on the desk. I swear if I find out Discord did somethin’ I'm gonna take these here clippers and...” Adam froze. He was turned away from Applejack, fortunately, so she couldn’t see his eyes widen as he finally understood what had happened. After another moment, Adam stood up and reached for the umbrella. “I’m sure I can get this worked out, Applejack,” he said as he reached the door. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” Before Applejack could say anything, Adam ran out of the barn and into the rain, but the moment he placed the umbrella over his head, the rain stopped. He held his hand out, and when he felt nothing, he lowered the umbrella. “That’s good timin’,” Applejack said as she left the barn, “guess we won’t need to worry ‘bout gettin’ Big Mac to help you.” “Applejack, I said—” “Adam needed help?” Adam yelped as the shock of yellow mane appeared in his periphery, but when he looked down, he saw Big Macintosh rubbing one of his forelegs over the other. “Sorry,” he said, “didn’t mean to startle you.” “Adam, you sure there ain’t nothin’ wrong?” Applejack asked. “Yes, I’m fine,” Adam replied as he looked down to Big Macintosh, “and I promise I can take care of the barn myself.” Applejack and Big Macintosh watched Adam run off towards the house, though neither Adam nor Applejack had seen the blush steadily growing on the stallion’s face. By the time Applejack turned to her brother, however, he had already turned away and began to trudge through the mud towards the East Field. She galloped to catch up to him, and when she did, she pushed against his side. “I swear that human can be more timid than Fluttershy,” she muttered, “you got any idea why he’s actin’ that way?” “Nope.” Applejack stopped. Did Big Mac just, she thought, only to shake her head a moment later, no, he ain’t got a reason to lie. She galloped once more to catch up, slowing back down once she noticed that Big Macintosh’s head hung a little lower than usual. They continued on in silence, occasionally turning back to the homestead with looks of concern. ***** “I threw it in here,” Adam mumbled, “I know I did.” Adam pushed the desk away from the wall—the inevitable scratching sound of wooden legs on wooden floor piercing his ears—and felt along the wall for any sign of the papers. Adam glanced at the empty upturned wastepaper basket and sighed as he cupped his hands over his face. You’re the reason the Apples are in this mess, Adam thought as he closed his eyes, make it right. “Uncle Adam?” Adam gasped and opened his eyes. Apple Bloom stood in the doorway with her saddlebags hanging askew and her bow tied up crooked. Adam wiped his eyes and chuckled at her. “Abby, come here,” he sniffed as he beckoned for her to enter. Apple Bloom nodded and entered; Adam immediately went to work straightening her bow and adjusting her saddlebags. “Look at you,” he said, “hasn’t Applejack taught you about being presentable?” He leaned back to look at his work. “No, but Sweetie Belle once had an idea of us bein’ Cutie Mark Crusader Models.” Her shoulders drooped. “It didn’t end well.” “Oh come now,” Adam replied, glad for the distraction, “what matters is that you were willing to try new things. Isn’t that what being a crusader is all about?” “I guess.” Apple Bloom leaned in to get a closer look at Adam’s face. “Uncle Adam, are you cryin’ ‘cause you’re happy again?” “What?” “At the weddin’, Amy said that you cry when you’re happy and you were just cryin’ again,” she said, “so you’re happy you moved in with us?” Adam clenched his teeth and stiffened his jaw as he pulled Apple Bloom in for a hug. “Abby,” he said, “of course I’m happy to be here spending time with you.” He forced a smile as he pulled Apple Bloom away. “Uncle Adam is just being a silly human.” He froze. “Humans act silly sometimes,” he continued, his voice fading slightly. “It makes us difficult to figure out, sometimes.” “Like Discord?” “Yeah,” he chuckled, “like Discord.” Adam’s gaze shot across the room; they landed back on the wastepaper basket and he grabbed it and held it up for Apple Bloom to see. “Just out of curiosity,” he said, “you wouldn’t happen to know if Granny Smith emptied this yesterday, did she?” He watched Apple Bloom’s ears fall flat. “Nope,” she replied, “that was one of my chores this week. We burn the paper for the heatin’ stove downstairs.” “Of course,” Adam said as he let go of the basket and pulled Apple Bloom in for another hug, “I’m sure Big Macintosh is really proud of you, being so responsible for someone so young.” “I’ll have you know, Uncle Adam,” Apple Bloom replied with a huff as she wrestled out of Adam’s grasp, “that this pony managed to deliver an entire cart of pies through the Hayseed Swamps while fightin’ off a chimera.” Adam quirked an eyebrow. “Okay, I may have had some help from my sister,” she replied, looking back to the basket, “are you lookin’ for somethin’ Aunt Amy wrote? Did you try her diary?” “Apple Bloom,” Adam gasped, “tell me you haven’t read my sister’s diary.” “Maybe just a little,” she replied as she pointed to the bottom of the bookcase. Her ears fell flat again, and Adam couldn’t help but feel bad for her. He scooped her up once more. “You didn’t happen to come across any blueprint sketches of the barn or organizational charts, did you?” “Nope,” she replied as Adam noticed a blush creep up Apple Bloom’s cheek, “but I did find a word in there. What’s a—” Apple Bloom glanced around and whispered into his ear. The moment Adam heard what she said, his jaw dropped open and his eyes widened. He pulled Apple Bloom away. “Let’s just not repeat that word in front of your school friends, okay?” “But ain’t you gonna tell me what it means?” “Miss Rarity would know,” Adam blurted out but then covered his mouth with his hand. “Thanks, Uncle Adam!” Apple Bloom shouted as she galloped out of the room. Adam slowly stood up and turned his attention to the bookcase. Well, he thought, if the Apples don’t kill me for messing up their plans, then Miss Rarity certainly will once she learns what I just did. Adam shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the bookcase. “May as well go three for three,” he said as he pulled the diary from the bottom shelf and flipped towards the end, “this must be an older one,” he mumbled and started to close the book, stopping when the line at the top of the page caught his attention. He kissed me. Adam reread the sentence a few times before he continued. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It’s like kissing a guy with a really soft beard. Oh, and tongue. Lots of tongue. Lots and lots of tongue, like— Adam’s eyes widened and his cheeks burned, but, like that one time when Sweetie Belle galloped through Carousel Boutique in an outfit she ‘created’ in an attempt to get a cutie mark like her sister, painful curiosity refused to allow him to turn his eyes away. A few seconds later, Adam turned the page. Twilight gave me a book today. ‘Making It Relatable: A Guide to Interspecies Dating’ by a guy named Trenderhoof. (God, who names these ponies?) Good book, maybe I should tell Adam to pick it up sometime. Lord knows it’s been forever since he’s had a good— “And we’re done,” Adam said as he closed the diary and put it back as another book caught his eye, “‘An Apple A Day: A Compendium’—this could be useful.” Adam picked up the book and tucked it under his arm as he left Amy’s old room, taking care not to bump into the pile of his suitcases that Spike had stacked precariously on the edge of the bed. ***** Big Macintosh’s hoof slammed against the tree with a thud, sending a shower of apples falling into the baskets that were placed strategically around the trunk. Droplets of water fell down as well, landing on the stallion’s fur and matting it down. Each tree he kicked sent down a smattering of water, soaking him until even his mane pressed against his ears. “The mud’s slowin’ us down,” Applejack shouted from a distance, “Been at it for an hour and only got three rows in.” “Eeyup,” Big Macintosh replied as he trotted to the next tree. “I hope Adam’s makin’ progress on those barrels,” she said as she walked by with a basket balanced on her back. “I showed him where the light was so he could find the symbols and told him where to find the extension cord so he isn’t lugging the barrels around.” Big Macintosh nodded as he kicked the tree, sending another deluge of apples to the ground. He wiped his brow and looked up to the sky; a lot of the clouds had already vanished, but he could still see a few gray cumulus dotted amongst the blue. In the distance, Big Macintosh saw a single white cloud with a rainbow tail dangling off to the side, and he rolled his eyes before continuing with his work. “I’m sure he’s a good worker,” Applejack continued, “just wish I could figure out why he seems so nervous all the time.” She set the barrel down on a nearby cart. “I know he ain’t scared of ponies, ‘cause Rarity mentioned she was comin’ by tomorrow to help Adam get ready for his date with that Pokey fella.” Big Macintosh’s balance wavered for only an instant, but it was enough to throw off his kick so that when it landed against the tree it simply broke off a piece of bark. “Ouch,” Applejack hissed, “that must’ve hurt.” She reached out to grab Big Macintosh’s hoof, but he quickly jerked it away. “Somethin’ wrong, Big Mac?” “Nope,” he replied and repositioned himself to kick the tree again. Applejack hummed to herself and decided to work on the tree next to her brother rather than going back to her row. “You know, I couldn’t help but notice you lookin’ at Adam last night,” Applejack said, smiling when she saw her brother lose balance again, “Ain’t like Pokey put a claim on him or nothin’.” “Nope,” Big Macintosh replied. “Is this ‘cause he’s your cousin-in-law?” she asked, “I’m pretty sure it don’t count when you ain’t the same species.” Big Macintosh blushed and shook his head, nearly losing balance once more. He turned and snorted angrily in Applejack’s direction. “Adam don’t like big stallions.” “How can you know that? Ain’t like you’ve spoken to him much.” She nudged his shoulder. “Who knows, maybe if you open up to him, he’ll see that you’re actually just a big ole bear.” Big Macintosh shook his head and kicked the tree, letting the sound of apples drown out his sister’s voice for the moment. He trotted to the next tree and prepared for another kick, ignoring the slight pain in his hoof. He heard the sound of Applejack kicking the tree next to him and then apples falling before she spoke again. “Shoot, the only ‘date’ you even went on was ‘cause of a love poison,” Applejack continued, “maybe we should get Rarity to set you up on a date, too.” “Applejack…” Big Macintosh said, his tone dark. “If you’re too scared to talk to Adam, maybe you could talk to one of Rarity’s friends.” “Applejack…” “A stallion like you? Shoot, I’m surprised you ain’t havin’ to beat ‘em off with both hooves.” “They’re all scared of my size!” Big Macintosh finally shouted as he kicked his leg out, but he fell off balance again and hit the tree with the side of his hoof, sending a sharp pain up his leg. “Ah!” As he fell to the ground, Big Macintosh heard his sister gallop to his side. “Big Mac, you all right?” “I’m fine,” he replied as he stood back up and limped to the next tree. “No, sir,” Applejack said, “Ah ain’t gonna have you hurtin’ yourself out here and leavin’ me to do all the buckin’ for the rest of the week alone.” She paused and turned towards the barn, and a smile formed. “Mister, you’re gonna go help Adam.” Big Macintosh shook his head, but Applejack held up her hoof. “This ain’t a debate,” she said, “I don’t care what you say to him, but you will at least be hospitable and try to get to know him.” Big Macintosh lowered his head and started to walk towards the barn, hiding his limp as best he could. “And clean yourself off!” she called after him, “make yourself look presentable!” The stallion turned to look at himself and sighed—not only was his fur speckled with water, but when he fell his entire underside became caked with mud. Suppose it would be best to make myself decent, he thought as he trudged to the farmhouse, only to be greeted by Granny Smith as she stood on the front porch with a suspicious glare on her muzzle. “And where do you think you’re goin’?” she asked. “I hurt my hoof.” Big Macintosh pointed to the barn. “Applejack wants me in the barn helpin’ Adam.” He looked over his hindquarters. “But I need to clean up.” “You wanna track that mud in this house I just finished sweepin’?” Granny Smith shook her head and pointed to the side of the house. “There’s a hose right out back.” “That’s where we give Winona her baths.” “Shoot, back in my day we had to clean ourselves down at the river,” she said as she took a seat in the rocking chair, “didn’t have no indoor plumbin’, neither. Just had to pray to Celestia that the current didn’t pull none of us away.” As she rocked back and forth, her speaking slowed and her eyes lowered. “I remember one time… had to take a bath in the middle of winter… Apple Strudel was visitin’ us…” Big Macintosh waved his hoof in front of the drowsy mare before taking a step back. “Heh,” she snickered as she continued to doze off, “he said ‘it’s just that way ‘cause the water’s cold’.” Another sigh escaped from Big Macintosh’s muzzle as he walked to the side of the house, where he found a metal bucket leaned against the wall next to a garden hose. He turned the spigot and began to clean himself off, but then he saw his reflection in the bucket. Big Macintosh dropped the hose and looked at his reflection for a moment before he reached up and took off his work collar, setting it to the side before turning back to look at himself. He practiced smiling a few times before he noticed the hose was still running and resumed cleaning himself, his mind beginning to race as he did. How did Adam get stuck on my head, he wondered as he made a mental checklist of his interactions with the human: there were the times that he had seen him in passing when he was with either Amy or Rarity, during which he would be as loud as either of them. But when the guy’s alone, he thought, he’s a lot more… Big Macintosh grabbed a towel that was hanging on the wall and began to dry himself off, still trying to find the right word to describe how Adam changed when alone. He remembered one small detail from when Adam properly introduced himself and then from the night of the wedding when he noticed Golden Delicious rubbing his shoulder. His hands are really soft, but he can still hold onto something tight. Big Macintosh hung the towel back up and began to rewrap the hose while still thinking about Adam’s hands. It was just a small detail, but for some reason the thought continued to take hold. As he checked his reflection once more, he reached up to his mane and straightened out a few knots that had appeared before giving himself a satisfied smile and heading back to the barn. His limp was still noticeable, but as long as he didn’t put too much weight on it, he knew it would be completely healed by tomorrow. No need to make Adam worry over nothing, he thought as he tried to walk evenly. As he got near the door, however, he heard the sound of something rush through the sky just above his head, followed by a poof noise. “Look out below!” Rainbow Dash shouted. Big Macintosh looked up just in time to see the torrent of water from the freshly kicked cloud cascade over him, drenching his fur once more. He reached up and pulled a lock of soaking wet mane away from his eye and glared at Rainbow Dash, who was now covering her muzzle with both hooves in an attempt to keep from laughing. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” Rainbow Dash snickered, “it was just the last cloud and I wanted to hurry up and get the job done.” She choked back another laugh. “I really didn’t mean to kick it while you were under there, but you just trotted so fast that I… that I…” Big Macintosh watched as Rainbow Dash finally lost control and fell to the ground, rolling and laughing. “S-sorry, big guy,” she said as she tried to regain control of her voice, “let me fix that you you. One Rainblow Dry coming up.” Before Big Macintosh had a chance to argue, he found himself surrounded by rainbows. As Rainbow Dash zoomed around him, he felt the wind pick up and dry off his fur and mane. As quickly as the rainbows appeared, they vanished, leaving behind only the pegasus, whose muzzle twitched and eyes widened when she saw what the drying had done. “Uh, yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, nodding emphatically, “looks great.” “Now wait a—” “Gotta go!” Rainbow Dash was gone in an instant with only a multihued trail left in her wake. Big Macintosh reached up to try to straighten out his mane once more, but froze when he heard the door behind him open. Don’t let him see you injured, he thought as he turned around. ***** Adam’s legs quivered as he set the barrel back on the top row and heaved a sigh of relief. He glanced down at his watch and growled when he saw that it wasn’t even eight o’clock. Over an hour and I’ve only moved twenty of these blasted things. He wiped his brow with his sleeve, taking notice of the sweat stains around his chest. “Oh, you look gross,” he muttered to himself as he lowered his arm and peered down the barn, “this is a nightmare.” The electric light flickered on and off near the other side of the barn, and he grimaced at it before reaching over and grabbing another barrel to carry it over. The sound of Rainbow Dash yelling, however, caused him to stop and turn to the door. “Look out below!” Adam heard the sound of water splashing and he peeked through the slightly open door, where he saw Big Macintosh standing in a puddle of water. He looked up and saw Rainbow Dash flying above the stallion, noticing the fact that the sky was now clear and the sun was finally out. The moment his eyes went back to Big Macintosh, Adam found himself unable to turn away—the sunlight glistened off the stallion’s red fur, pressing the hairs against his body, accentuating the muscles beneath. The water flowed down Big Macintosh’s legs and collected at his fetlocks, where they fell off in beads to the ground. Adam shook his head and took a step back, worried that he would be noticed. He turned back to the barrels and noted how many he had moved. With muscles like his, he thought as he rubbed his shoulders, I bet he could get this done in no time. He heard Rainbow Dash say something, followed by the sound of wings flapping and wind blowing in the air. The moment he heard Rainbow Dash fly away, he opened the door and stifled a giggle at what he saw—Big Macintosh was standing in front of the door with his mane and tail sticking out as though he had touched a light socket. “Oh dear,” Adam said, “now this is a problem.” “What is?” Big Macintosh asked, unaware of the new problem until Adam calmly strolled over and began to pat down his mane with his hands, “oh.” Adam chuckled and rolled his eyes as he reached back to straighten out Big Macintosh’s tail; as he grazed Big Macintosh’s injured leg, however, the stallion instinctively tucked it in towards his barrel. “Right,” Adam said as he pulled away, “no leg touching. Sorry.” “It’s all right,” Big Macintosh replied as he peered into the barn, “so how’s the count comin’?” “Oh yes!” Adam answered loudly as he quickly turned around, “so far, I have managed to decipher the symbols on twenty of the barrels, and—” “Only twenty?” Big Macintosh blurted out, immediately regretting it when he saw Adam pause. “Well…” Adam placed a hand on the back of his neck as he tried to find an excuse. “You see, it just takes time to carry the barrels over to the light—not that it’s hard for me to do, or anything,” he chuckled and leaned casually against the barrels, “the symbols, yes, the symbols are just very difficult to find.” Big Macintosh watched as Adam’s eyes darted back and forth. Something ain’t adding up, he thought, taking a few hesitant steps forward as he tried to control his gait. He walked over to the light stand and pointed at it. “This light?” “Well, Big Mac, that is the only electric light in here.” Big Macintosh chuckled and pulled a cord out from where it had been hanging behind a bale of hay, smiling innocently as Adam’s jaw slowly fell open. He connected the cord to the lamp and grabbed it in his teeth to carry it over to Adam, who was now shaking his head. “Sister said she told you ‘bout the cord this mornin’,” he said after setting the light at Adam’s feet. Adam thought back to earlier in the morning. I could swear I was paying attention to everything she said, he thought, only to realize that there was a moment that he had been distracted. He tried to avoid Big Macintosh’s face as his cheeks burned. “I must have been worried about weather…” he trailed off. “Whether what?” Big Macintosh asked. “Oh yes,” Adam said as he stretched out confidently and flashed a lopsided smile, “one must always remember that it is more important to know whether there will be weather than what the weather will be.” Adam chuckled to himself, only to look up and see the confused look Big Macintosh was giving him. He stopped himself and then coughed awkwardly. “Human joke.” “I see,” Big Macintosh replied, “you sure you don’t need help?” Big Macintosh felt his tail swishing back and forth and willed himself to stop. “Oh no,” Adam replied as he picked up the light, “now that I have the cord, I can get this done much faster.” He turned away and bent over to inspect the nearest barrel. “I would hate being responsible for keeping you away from bucking trees.” He glanced out from behind the barrels and noticed that Big Macintosh had turned his gaze conspicuously away from him. “I hear Applejack tell Amy that you even beat her at it.” “She did?” Big Macintosh asked excitedly. “Maybe…” he replied with a wry smile, “maybe not—though your reaction was priceless.” “Very funny, Mister Smartypants.” “Smartypants,” Adam muttered as he held a hand to his chin, “why do I recall Amy saying something about a doll with that name?” Big Macintosh’s eyes widened and he tried to think of something to say. Suddenly, Applejack’s words echoed in his mind. Maybe if you open up to him, he’ll see that you’re actually just a big old bear. “I’d be more than happy to help,” Big Macintosh said as he walked over to Adam. “No,” Adam replied, “I’ve got it.” Adam peered back from behind the next barrel he had inspected. Prove yourself, he thought as his gaze trailed back to Big Macintosh’s muscles. Adam reached his arm up to the barrel stacked on top of the newly-labelled one, only to involuntarily flinch when he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. He heard the sound of Big Macintosh’s hooves trot closer. “I don’t mind at all,” Big Macintosh said, “I can help…” His words left him when he realized that he had already reached out to help lift Adam up so that he could reach the barrel. “Uh, lift you up there?” “Nonsense, Mister Macintosh,” Adam reiterated with a trace of irritation, “I’m perfectly capable of—ow!” Adam rubbed his shoulder; while he was distracted, Big Macintosh took a deep breath and bent his neck to help lift Adam up, but when the human settled onto the stallion’s withers, Big Macintosh realized that Adam wasn’t quite as light as he looked. A sharp pain ran through his leg, and he felt his hind quarters quiver. Nope, he thought, do it. Show him. Adam’s balance faltered as he continued to massage his shoulders. Come on, you can do it. What happened next occurred within moments, but for Adam and Big Macintosh, it seemed to occur in slow motion—Adam overcompensated his balance, which sent more pressure to Big Macintosh’s leg, which then caused Adam’s legs to wrap around the stallion’s neck—the combination of motions turned the two into a single mass of shivering limbs and a chorus of choked cries of pain. Big Macintosh’s body twisted until he felt himself tumble into the hay on his back, and the next instant, he felt Adam’s chin slam into his groin, causing the stallion to yelp out much higher than he thought possible. He thrust his head back, which hit the barrel with a heavy thud, bouncing him forward once more. Adam felt a strange tickling sensation against his chin, and as his eyes darted back and forth, he realized that Big Macintosh’s legs were on either side of his head. He jerked his head back and struggled to remove himself from Big Macintosh’s body. “Oh God!” Adam shrieked as he tried to pull himself away, wincing in pain when he tried to lift himself off of Big Macintosh. “My faul—ah!” Big Macintosh cried out as he tried to stretch his leg, only to have the pain return and cause him to flinch his leg back to his barrel, tightening his grip on Adam’s head. “What in tarnation's goin’ on in here, Big Mac?” The two turned their heads to the door—a dark silhouette appeared in the doorway, and then they watched as a stetson hat fell to the ground. As Applejack stomped into the room, both Adam and Big Macintosh felt their bodies finally give out. Big Macintosh loosened his grip on Adam, who then rolled off of the stallion and fell to the ground next to him. “It ain’t what it looks like,” Big Macintosh said as he rolled over. As Applejack watched the two writhe on the floor, she walked slowly to the edge of the barn and banged her head against the post. Finally, she shook her head and reached down to pick up her hat. “I don’t think even Discord could top this,” she muttered as she headed out to prepare the sick beds for her brother and brother-in-law, “Apple Bloom, get the beds ready!” she shouted, “Adam and Big Mac were foolin’ around and got hurt!” Adam reached up to his head to massage his temples as he watched Apple Bloom gallop into the barn. Yes, he thought, I can take care of this barn by myself.