//------------------------------// // Ch. 110: Royal Royale // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// See main description for spoiler alert notice. The "Formatting" can be set to "Dark" or "Light" for this one. Properties belong to their respective owners. --- Intense Lightning Round Here all the fights are done without boring analysis. So many fighters! So much action! No research. Lightning Round! Start the clock and... GO! (Like Ancestral Father, Like Daughter) ---Raspberry Beryl and Heliodor vs. King Sombra?--- The camera pans around the Crystal Empire. Eventually, the view zooms in on a small corridor leading to a sectioned off room. A dark magenta unicorn trots along. Normally, a pony walking along wouldn't be any reason to alert the local news. What stands out, however, is the bird that is somehow comfortably perched on her horn. It is one of the rarest specimens in all of the lands: a green phoenix. Said phoenix lets out a questioning squawk. "There's just a little more I need to check in that room sealed with dark magic," explains the unicorn. "It shouldn't take long." Suddenly, the phoenix looks ahead sharply, and with its eyes narrowed. "What is it, Heelee?" asks the unicorn before looking forward herself. A much darker unicorn enters from the other direction. His pace is a bit slow and clumsy. He seems to be struggling with his own hooves more than a newborn colt on his first trot. The camera slowly pans up from his hooves, over his red and furry cape, and finally up to his red eyes and red, curved horn tip. Though, he seems to be looking down. "Why is it so freaking hard to walk with these things?" he grumbles gravelly. "Seriously, what kind of king can't even walk?" "You!" calls out the first unicorn. Her phoenix mimics her angry expression. The stallion looks up, looks right, looks left, and then forward once more. He slowly raises one of his front legs in front of his chest. "Me?" "So we finally meet, Sombra," says the mare, "or should I say Daddy?" The stallion's eyes go wide as his mouth suddenly becomes very small on the front of his face. "Wait, 'Daddy'?" She sighs. "It figures you wouldn't recognize me. I mean why would you? The slave mare you decided to have a one-night stand with was probably just another tool for you to throw away." The whites of his eyes expand even further. "Wait, I did what?!" "It's because of your stupid blood that made me look like this!" Upon her exclamation, her phoenix companion flies up. The mare's body undergoes a brief, yet frightening change of appearance. Her upper jaw gains fangs. Her mane and hide turn even darker than they were before. To top it off, her horn gains a disturbingly familiar curved shape as it turns red. All of this happens in a split-second and a flash of dark magic. ... "Holy s***! You really do look like me," admits 'Sombra'. "But wait, when could this have happened?" "I managed to cure one of your curses that afflicted my friends," continues the mare. "So, there's no reason why I can't vanquish you while I'm at it." However, 'Sombra' seems lost as his eyes scan back and forth and thoughts swim in his head. The only lady-horses I've ever spoken to were Princess Crystal-on-her-butt and that Lun-Moon-on-her-butt... and I know I didn't take either of them to bed. Or... did one of them take me? Oh my *gee*! Was I *arr*ed? No, hold on! This woman-horsey looks a lot older than a year, and she sounds like she's at least hit puberty. So there's no way that I could have... "Um, just out of curiosity," 'Sombra' speaks up, "how old are you?" "This ends now!" yells the mare. Her horn radiates magic that seems to bubble rather than cover the area with an aura. "Why does everything in this world want to kill me?!" exclaims 'Sombra' as he takes a step back. A champion will be crowned! Fight! Raspberry Beryl conjures a large amount of her magic in the space in front of her. The cloud gathers into a shady double of herself. Two orbs glow where the artificial pony should have eyes. The human in Sombra's body looks like he's going to piss his pants. But at the last minute, he remembers that he doesn't have any pants, so he forces himself to hold it in. Okay, calm down! He critiques himself. She's under the impression that I'm her father. Maybe... I can somehow use that to my advantage. The best way to handle an angry teenager is to apply a little discipline. ... Right? "That's quite enough young... lady?" he says shakily. "Go to your room right now! Or I'll... uh... ground you? ... and... um... take away your dessert privileges... Yeah." The shadowy clone of Beryl continues to slowly advance while the original still remains standing in defiance. Hey, wait. What am I doing? 'Sombra' conks himself in the head with one hoof. I should fight fire with backfire... or purple magic as the case may be. The king's impostor suddenly conjures bubbling magic of his own. A wave of crystals emerges from the floor in front of him and advance. They slide right through the mare's clone. Razz gasps before switching her spell with a different cast. Her dark double fades as the fast-approaching crystal gets caught in her version of the dark magic. The rocky wave shatters and separates into what appear to be a bunch of diamonds and pearls. Holy s***! 'Sombra' opens his eyes wide once more. How did she do that? Why can't I do that? Razz focuses and her newly broken gemstones float up. They appear poised to act as her new ammunition. They even let out a barrage of Old West gun noises as they fly through the air. Yikes! 'Sombra' closes his eyes as his body suddenly switches from a solid to a gas. Oh, right... I forgot I can do that. The colored rocks fly through the gaseous shadow as if he isn't there. His face is about the only thing recognizable in this smoke. In triumph against his clearly solid opponent, he sticks his tongue out with a buzzing noise. At least, that is the case until it gets burned by a very angry Heliodor. Actually, a lot of him feels burned as the green phoenix circles around and spreads its flames. "Ahhhh! Hey! Since when do chickens do the frying?" asks 'Sombra'. That remark seems to agitate the phoenix as he intensifies the heat. Feeling threatened to be absorbed like methane gas next to a match, 'Sombra' backs away and falls on his side in his solid unicorn form. He quickly pats himself all over, making sure he isn't too badly burned. "Enough of this!" calls out Razz. Her horn's magic flows out in multiple directions. It seems to affect the entire arena. Everything but her simply... stops. Breathing heavily, she stomps forward toward the helpless king. Anyone in this corridor is at her mercy. It's the kind of power that would make Dio Brando roll in his grave. Why can't I move? wonders 'Sombra' with wide eyes. Why can't I move?! His thoughts abruptly stop as Raspberry Beryl lodges her curved horn through his jugular vein. K.O.! This round's winner is... Raspberry Beryl! (First Pony View vs. The Water Bearer) ---Rosy "Vivienne" Stripes vs. Daphne--- A man's mind currently resides in this little filly's body. He or she is confined to the parameters set by whatever was in charge of this pony's creation and his or her current ownership of said pony's body. He or she is limited by this little pony's rosy red mane with snowy white highlights. His or her only tool at disposal is a thin string around his or her neck that is strung through the hole of a key that opens the door to his or her apartment room. Unfortunately for his or her sanity, he or she is not in the safety of his or her apartment room. His or her current location is at some point in the forest between a preferable starting point and a preferable ending point. He or she is at the non-preferred middle area between the aforementioned points. A slightly older, blonde unicorn filly trots onto the scene. For some reason that she can't understand, she really wants to hit something... or in this case, some pony. It is not a good day to be some pony standing in her way. Make your imagination a reality. Start! Rosy Stripes, if he or she really is Rosy Stripes, tries to understand why the other unicorn is so displeased. He or she briefly considers asking what the matter is directly. However, vague recollections from both of his or her pasts tell him or her that asking such questions outright would most likely lead to more questions. In and of itself, the idea of having more questions does not disconcert him or her. No, it is the implications of what those new questions might be and the potentially long and tangential strings along which those topics might lead. Meanwhile, Daphne just charges up her horn and summons a whole new forest. No, I'm not kidding. She summons an entire forest in the middle of the clearing. Various sounds of wildlife ring in the background. Startled, Rosy backs up quickly on the tips of his or her hooves. He or she wonders how any creature can possibly create such a biosphere in such a short time. Sure, he or she is familiar with how beyond science certain ponies are capable of reaching. But, he or she cannot immediately recall such an instance in which a tropical rainforest and all the biological inhabitants can feasibly be conjured with a single spell. He or she backs through a tree. It takes a while for him or her to grasp this event. He or she just phased through the tree as if it isn't really there. Cautiously, he or she reaches a front leg toward that very same tree that he or she is looking at. His or her hoof feels nothing, as if that tree is a holographic projection. Slowly, he or she changes his or her direction to a forward drag, to a forward trot, and finally to a forward gallop. The trees that his or her eyes are most assuredly revealing to him or her are not actually there. Daphne holds her head low, trying to keep this fantasy world going with a single spell charging for the longest time. She just wants this day to end. Rosy's hooves finally touch something real other than the dirt and grass. He or she feels water flowing. Is it a river or a stream? He or she isn't entirely sure. But this change from artificial environmental fixtures to an actual water source gives him or her an idea. He or she focuses her horn and streams a large volume of water in his or her levitational hold. The older unicorn suddenly gets smacked upside the head by a propeller bi-plane composed entirely of water. She's sent flying by the impact. Her fake forest fades. Rosy is left to contemplate the nonsensical factors that lead up to his or her current lack of a situation. Game! This round's winner is... Rosy Stripes! (FiM, Major Pony Villains) ---Nightmare Moon vs. King Sombra vs. Starlight Glimmer--- How many unicorns are we following today? Because, yet another one enters the camera's view. She gallops out of the lower level of a cave. She feels that she has enough distance between her and her pursuers. Sure, she doesn't have the princess's cutie mark to show for it, but at least she can run away like a scared little... *ahem* Sorry. I don't know where that came from. Likewise, I don't know where that portal-shaped energy came from that the unicorn is running towards. "What the...?" she yelps. She tries to slow to a halt, but her momentum carries her through the portal. Upon her exit point, she opens her eyes slowly. Her eyes open wide at the sight before her. Upon a large dark pillar stands some pony she thought was only the workings of an old mare's tale. It's the Mare in the Moon! Across from that, there is a similarly dark, yet much more jagged pillar. That pillar carries a self-proclaimed king. He looks much more confident than his counterpart in the first round. The unicorn from the first paragraph of this round smirks. "This is a perfect way to start my new plan." Dashing hope, putting fear in its place! Begin! King Sombra's eyes glow eerily green as he launches forth several dark crystal shards. In response, Nightmare Moon's mane swirls around like crazy. Lightning flashes in branching directions. The electricity makes quick work of the incoming projectiles and burns them to dust. She laughs while he growls. Slit irises flicker white as the Nightmare splits herself into three. The Shadowbolts circle around and charge their enemy. Three bubbling bursts from Sombra's horn conjure giant stalagmites composed of dark crystal. Their speed leaves little room for the pegasi to stop, forcing them to collide with the giant rocks before falling on top of each other. Quickly, a purple aura surrounds them as Nightmare Moon regains her original form. He chuckles while she scowls. "Prepare to be equalized!" "Huh?" "Huh?" Both of the hatred fueled ponies turn in confusion at the additional voice. Two bursts of light blue magic are shot in their direction. Nightmare Moon assumes the form of purple smoke and glides out of the way. Sombra does something similar in his black fog form. The intruder tries her luck with a few more blasts of the same variety. However, the black fog that is Sombra quickly floats around and hides her from the camera's view. After a few seconds, he floats away. Starlight Glimmer's horn is covered in black rocks. She grunts and tries to cast her magic. But her usual aura is getting caught about one fourth of the way up her horn. "You've got to be kidding me," she moans as she looks at the bemused expression of Sombra's eyes. As her attention is on him, she doesn't notice the purple smoke flowing into the ground beneath her hooves. The earth cracks a little. Starlight's eyes go wide before she looks down. The crack spreads farther and farther, forming a jagged web of splitting ground. Eventually, Nightmare flows out of the ground. One final crack shatters the very ground that Starlight is standing on. The only thing beneath her now is a long, dark drop. Starlight Glimmer shrieks, waving her hooves around wildly. But there's no hope to grab onto anything, because Nightmare already made it all too brittle to support any weight. She falls out of sight. Sombra grunts, catching the Nightmare cloud's attention. The two ponies in gaseous form slowly flow toward each other. It seems that they mean to finish this here and now. Cold winds and lightning crash around them. Purple and black swirl against each other in opposition. ... The black cloud retreats a few feet. Nightmare Moon is on the ground laying on her side. Her usual slit irises are currently red pupils inside green eyes. Her mouth quivers. Her fangs barely show. A small tear drips down her sideways face. Sombra's head emerges from his fog. He chuckles, guffaws, cackles... and finally laughs at the most maniacal volume and bass he can possibly muster. Finish! This round's winner is... Sombra! (FiM, Major Non-Pony Villains) ---Queen Chrysalis vs. Lord Tirek vs. The Sirens (Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, Sonata Dusk)--- The largest of the currently known changelings slowly trots through the woods. After gathering her strength for a few days, she feels ready to continue searching for her subjects. Sure, their collective mind is MIA, but that doesn't mean she can't at least try. Her search takes her into a rather dry clearing, filled with many red rock formations. The sound of chains catches her ears. She turns to see a rather feeble, old man-creature trotting along. His yellow pupils lock onto her presence. She grits her fangs at his funny look. He needs to be destroyed. A sudden splash catches both of their attentions. They turn to look at a rather large ocean that somehow comes right up to the dry rock area. Three heads pop through the surface of the water. One is orange, one is purple, and one is blue. All three resemble a cross between sea monster, dragon, and horse. The changeling doesn't like the looks these three are giving her either. Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace! Give 'em hell! Tirek drags his chains along with him. He opens his mouth wide... only for a giant blue fish tail to smack him upside the head. Sonata backs off as Aria screeches red sound waves. The vibrations crack every one of the centaur's old bones before he flings off into the distance. He leaves a large hole in one of the red rocks upon impact. One of his hands shakily reaches out... before promptly falling limp against the opening. Chrysalis takes this time to fly around while the sirens are distracted. She, uh... ejects some green gunk, ensnaring Aria to a portion of the land. Right after that, the changeling bites down hard into Sonata's neck. They both fall into the water. Adagio dives down after them. She grits her teeth, looking left and right. After swimming down a couple yards, she thinks she sees her idiot of an ally. But it looks like Sonata is smacking her tail and biting Sonata who is biting and slapping back. Adagio growls out something incomprehensible to the audience. However, it grabs the attention of both Sonatas. All three sirens swim back to the surface. "Obviously, there's only one way to deal with an impostor," reasons Adagio. "What's that?" "What's that?" "Destroy you both!" she declares before singing a resonating wave. One Sonata dodges out of the way. But in defense, the other Sonata sings her own wave. But it quickly loses air space. Her leader is just too strong. Both her throat and her ears give way as she collapses back into the ocean. "Nice choice... for me." The remaining Sonata is covered by a layer of green fire before transforming into Chrysalis. Adagio growls before letting loose her sound wave a second time. Chrysalis focuses her strength into a full blast, magic beam. In a way that defies physics, their attacks actually collide and hold each other in the air. Chrysalis yelps a little at the force she's fighting against. Adagio's fin-wings spread out a little as she holds her aerial position. Eventually, the combatants stop their attacks altogether. They lower their heads in exhaustion. They actually show signs of sweating. Ill-gotten love energy and stolen negativity seem to be ineffective in the hooves of these two creatures. There's an odd snapping sound. A purple tail smacks Adagio right in her red jewel. A siren's screech sends Chrysalis flying... all the way over into a red rock next to Tirek. Her wings shake a little, even though they are crushed. Aria mockingly dusts off her hooves. She sneers at the lack of effort that she needed. Players defeated! This round's winner is... Aria Blaze. (Plentiful Pony Princesses) ---Celestia vs. Luna vs. Cadance vs. Twilight Sparkle--- Canterlot shimmers in its noble radiance. We zoom over the city and straight into the castle's throne room. There is a brief pass along the various stained glass windows. Images of heroes over the past year glimmer in their respective colors. A flurry of ones and zeros circles around four spots on the floor. They reveal the appropriate simulations of the combatants that will now battle to the finish. Each princess closes her eyes and gives a respectful nod. It seems that even their absence of peaceful minds does not prevent simple etiquette from shining through their personalities. Heads rise. Eyes open. Wings flare. Horns glow in their owners' auras. Might makes monarchy! Engage! With nary a warning, Celestia rushes forth and tackles Mi Amore Cadenza. The younger of which yelps as she gets smashed through a stained glass window. The camera briefly zooms out to show the castle as a whole. A small arrow points out their position. They fall a few seconds until the camera zooms back in. Cadance bites her lip. With a flash of light blue, she conjures a force field around herself. It shoves her attacker away a few feet. Both alicorns flap in place. Cadance chances a couple shots with her magic, as well as one small valentine. Celestia flies above the first shot and under the second shot. Then, she raises a front leg and outright slaps the valentine out of her face. She fires a short burst of golden magic. After a quick focus from Cadance, the incoming blast dances around her shield before fading away. But the eldest princess has yet to finish her move. Celestia calmly raises her hooves and flies higher and higher. Her body flutters right in a way that she can't be seen within the outline of the sun behind her. Cadance blinds herself trying to keep her eyes on her opponent. It's enough of a distracting pain that she doesn't notice the large golden blast coming straight for her. The burning Mi Amore Cadenza falls to the foot of the mountain. --- The inside of the throne room tells a slightly different war story. Luna and Twilight Sparkle fly around in circles. All the while, they fire lightning and beams at each other respectively. The lightning zaps against various walls. Magenta magic barely nicks a couple of Luna's feathers. Gritting her teeth, Luna dives down a foot or two and fires a blue magical beam straight up. Twilight backtracks on her original circular path to dodge the blast. Luna flutters back and forth between seemingly random points. She shoots more beams of the same blasting variety into the ceiling. Just as Twilight prepares a return fire, a large boulder-shaped piece of the ceiling crashes against Twilight's back and pulls her all the way down to the floor. A white flash brings Celestia back into the room. She stares unflinchingly at her standing sister. Luna scrapes a front hoof against the floor a couple of times. Celestia poses to brace herself. Luna gallops forth. Celestia does the same. The sisters' horns collide and they shake as they literally push against each other. Both of the sisters turn around a deliver a powerful buck. The resulting impact causes them to slide several feet away from each other. Luna charges up some more lightning in her horn and fires it. Celestia's golden aura sets up a defense. While her shield holds, the indoor flash storm shows no sign of stopping. The camera pans back over to the crumbling boulder for some reason. There's a slight flash of magenta from underneath. Luna continues her lightning barrage against her sister's insistence on just defending. She knows Celestia can't hold that pose forever. What she doesn't count on is getting hit in the back with a large spark of dark magic. With Luna stupefied, Twilight flies in with all of her strength and tackles Luna. She forces the Princess of the Night to slide along the floor. Growling, Twilight punches Luna repeatedly in the head with her hooves. She jumps up and down on Luna's throat, blasts Luna's wings with more blackish-purple magic, and even bites through Luna's tailbone for good measure. Twilight slowly steps off the beaten and bruised opponent. She is breathing extremely heavily right now. She doesn't even look in Celestia's direction until the sound of the golden shield dispersing reminds her of her presence. Twilight holds her head briefly, while she continues panting. She's paying for that overuse of dark magic with a splitting migraine. Celestia teleports to Twilight's right. The Princess of Friendship is wobbling from side to side. Celestia inhales deeply... and then blows out fairly long. The force of the wind sends Twilight toppling on top of her left wing. A golden aura surrounds both of the fallen alicorns. The zoomed out camera watches them get tossed out the hole in the castle's window. Celestia's data clone bows to the camera before vanishing into bits. Ring out! This round's winner is... Celestia! ---