“Hold this rope, an’ keep the weight from falling,” Applejack mumbled through the rope in her mouth. Light Patch quickly took hold of the rope. The pegasus, lacking anything active to do, found himself thinking of the plan. They were working on a side of Roads Crossed that faced the forest; it was going to be the lightest trapped in an effort to help guide the flow of bandits.
“Excuse me but, Light Patch, could you hold this rope taut?” Rarity asked, holding the end of a rope with her magic. The aforementioned stallion made to answer, but remembered the rope in his mouth, and simply nodded. With a happy hum, Rarity tied the rope around his barrel and went back to work.
With nothing better to do, other than play toolbox assistant to the two mares, Light Patch’s mind naturally wandered, followed shortly by his gaze turning to look at the forest. He was thinking of the upcoming fight, and was a little worried. I’ve never been in a fight before, well actually that isn’t true. Well actually I have been in a couple, he nodded to himself, too deep in thought to notice another rope being tied to him. Though that was all fencing practice, he added mentally, the upcoming fight was going to be real and not as nice as those ones. He sighed, at least as a healer I shouldn’t be expected to do a whole lot of heavy hitting. I’ll be the best supporting character they’ve ever seen, he finished, nodding to himself a more confident look on his face.
His focus was dragged out of his thoughts when AJ spoke up. “Alright Light Patch, Ah’ve got this tied off. You can let go of the rope in your mouth.” He let go and looked back at the forest again. Just in time, actually, to notice a large Timberwolf burst from the forest. He was about to speak up until another small thing took his notice. A closer look showed that there seemed to be something clinging to its back.
“Woah there, wolfy!” a high-pitched voice shouted from the back of the Timberwolf. The wooden wolf slid to a stop, sending up a spray of twigs and pine needles before kneeling down a little ways away from the construction. A small, pink pony shape jumped down, bouncing around the wolf as two other colored shapes climbed down; one mint-green and the other a pastel yellow. “Look over there!” the pink pony shouted, waving her hooves excitedly. “That must be the village! Hello, villagers!”
The three ponies on the edge of the village looked at each other. Rarity was the first able to summon words from the depths they hid. “I dare say, that voice sounds familiar. Doesn’t it, Applejack?”
Applejack nodded, “An’ Ah’d dare say, Ah know of only one pony who could get a Timberwolf to let ponies ride it like that. ‘Specially one of that size.” She glanced at Rarity before the two took off, not noticing that Light Patch failed to follow.
The two mares covered the distance quickly, slowing to a stop a few feet short of their friends. Before either mare could say a thing, their pink friend suddenly gasped and, with a shout of glee, ran over and grabbed them both in a tight hug.
“I can’t believe you girls are here!” Pinkie Pie squealed, hooves wrapped tightly around their necks. “I mean, we were all together, and then we got split up, and then me and Fluttershy- Fluttershy! AJ and Rarity are here!”
“Oh,” Fluttershy cooed, “I’m so glad you two are-”
“And then we met up with Minty Fresh, and we fought a giant bug and had to run away, and we were captured by bandits, and Minty got beat up by Taxi who was a bad guy but wasn’t really a bad guy, and we escaped, and had to fight the giant bug again, and Minty almost died, and I was all super awesome cool, and then Taxi brought us here, and Minty was screaming the whole time, and-”
Wits End tapped Pinkie on the shoulder. “Pinkie Pie, I don’t think they can breath.”
“What? They’re fine! Rarity’s always talking about how she looks good in blue!”
With the ease of an action practiced for years the two mares slipped from Pinkie’s grasp and took a few deep breaths their regular colors taking hold once again. “Land sakes Pinkie, I have to wonder if you even know your own strength at times.” AJ rasped after a few breaths.
As Applejack continued to focus on breathing Rarity looked at the stallion with her friends, “So… Minty Fresh was it? It’s very nice to meet you.”
“It’s not-” Wits End sighed, rubbing his forehead just under his horn. “It’s Wits End, not Minty Fresh. Pinkie’s taken to calling me that for some strange reason.” He thought for a moment before realizing that a pony meeting another pony for the first time should question who the other pony is. “So, uh, you’re friends of Pinkie’s and Fluttershy’s?”
“That’s right.” Applejack said, stepping forward and adjusting her hat. “Mah names Applejack, an’ I, along with my brother, run Sweet Apple Acres,” she finished proudly.
“My name is Rarity, the top, and only, fashionista from Ponyville,” Rarity said next. “And this is a friend of ours, named Light Patch,” she paused to motion to the stallion before noticing that he was, in fact, not there. “Um, Applejack? We appear to have lost Light Patch.” The two looked around before noticing the stallion back at the edge of the town. “What’s he doing back there, I wonder.”
“He might still be working on traps. We did kind’a leave in the middle of that, Rarity. Perhaps we should get back and work while we catch up?” AJ said, looking at Rarity before turning to her friends and the new stallion. “Follow us back to the town, but watch your step. There’re a lot of traps right now,” she said before starting back towards the town.
Pinkie bounced after the farmpony and fashionista, rambling excitedly about the supposed “surprise party” they were setting up. Wits End looked back at Fluttershy and Taxi. “If Taxi’s gonna search for her pack, it’s best she leaves now. Once the bandits attack, there’s no knowing what’ll happen.”
Fluttershy nodded, looking up at the Timberwolf. “He’s right, Taxi. You should get going before any trouble starts.” The wooden wolf snorted, rubbing its muzzle against the yellow pegasus. “I know,” Fluttershy said softly, rubbing its snout. “And I’ll miss you too, but we’ll be just fine. I promise. Go on, find your family.”
After a moment, the Timberwolf backed away, sniffing the air. It let out a low howl, and bounded off into the forest. Fluttershy nodded, watching until it was completely out of sight, and then followed the pony hoofprints toward the town.
Wits End followed behind, adjusting his belts via magic to avoid putting pressure on his bruises. “I sure hope the local healers take credit,” he muttered, shifting his sword to his back as the two groups met up. Looking up at the construction, he tilted his head, trying to decipher its purpose. “What in the name of Equivalent Exchange is this contraption?”
“Light Patch, why didn’t you follow us out to meet our- Oh.” Rarity trailed off looking at the stallion before her.
“I’d have loved to Rarity but I was a little tied up at the time,” the stallion said, ropes tied around his barrel and legs trailing off to several areas.
With a blush and a couple more apologies, Rarity quickly used her magic to release the stallion from his brief captivity. The stallion glanced at the new members of the group, he didn’t spend a whole lot of time looking at Pinkie and Fluttershy, being familiar with them. But when he glanced at the stallion, it was just a second, but he could have sworn he saw a flash of something he recognized. It was then what the stallion had actually said clicked in his mind, but he had to make sure. After a few seconds, a plan formed. Light Patch suddenly jumped forward, eliciting a squeak of surprise from Fluttershy, and struck a pose before shouting out, “THIS TRAP DESIGN HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE LEGSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!” He paused for a quick flexing of his legs before turning to look at Wits End and adding, “Sparkle, sparkle.” Light Patch grinned like an idiot, while the mares looked at him like he’d grown an extra head.
Wits End blinked, processing the event that had just occurred. “Wha-” Something clicked, and his eyes widened. Somewhere between the verbal sparkling and the hodge-podge armor, he recognized the strangely dramatic pegasus. “Light Patch?” he asked; not what he was trying to say, but the intent was there.
Light Patch looked at the mint green unicorn, his grin only seeming to grow when his name was said. And again, that flash; this time long enough to know for sure. “Buddy!” he shouted, jumping forward before reflexively holding up his hoof for a hoof bump. “I was afraid it’d take a long longer before we managed to run into each other again. If ever,” he finished.
“What’re you doing here?” Wits End asked, returning the hoof bump. He raised an eyebrow. “Are you some sort of merchant in this village or something?”
“No, I was found by Applejack and Rarity, and they helped me after uh… I got nailed by my hammer when it followed my fall from the sky.” The pegasus turned to look at the mares, who were still caught up in their own little group chat. “I figured my best bet was to travel with them, elements of harmony and all that.” Light Patch said, waggling his hoof in a dismissive way. “I figured the quicker they dealt with Discord, the quicker my...uh, actually, I guess I should say, our problems would be handled. And for the record, I’m a Cleric actually.”
“A cleric, you say?” Wits End moved his cloak, revealing the bruise running along his side. “I met the wrong end of a giant scorpion earlier. Think you help me not die a bit?”
Light Patch’s smile fell off his face like a hammer from the sky. “Oh geez, I can heal the damage but I don’t know if I can stop any poison effects if it stung you.” He continued looking at the bruise for a hole from a stinger. “All I’ve got at the moment is a simple healing spell.”
“No no no!” Wits End waved a hoof. “I’m good. I turned the poison into a thing and melted a tree.” He froze for a moment. “That probably needs clarification at some point.”
“Yeah, probably, in any case, be Healed!” Light Patch shouted, startling Fluttershy again, just before giving his friend a light punch on the nearest shoulder while casting the spell as well. The pegasus’ ears twitched as his friends words sifted through his mind. “Wait, you turned an enemy’s attack into an attack of your own? Like a blue mage?” Before he could start complaining, Pinkie suddenly gasped, jumped into the air and shouted as she pointed.
“Ponies ahoy!” The whole group turned to look at where Pinkie Pie was pointing. A trio of ponies had emerged from the forest, and were making their way towards the village. The six ponies all recognized the two flying ponies almost instantly.
“Dashie! Twily!” Pinkie Pie bounce-tackle hugged the two mares, sailing over the head of the earth pony in the process. “I can’t believe you guys are here! I-”
“Um, Pinkie Pie?” Fluttershy flapped over, gently pulling the pink mare off. “You said all that before. Maybe let the others greet them?”
Purple Heart cocked his head to one side as he watched the reuniting friends. He recognized them sure enough. It wasn’t exactly hard. But the multicolored unicorn and the grey pegasus were strangers to him. The purple earth pony trotted forward, ignoring the looks he got from the mares as he stood before the two strange ponies.
Light Patch had been doing a little mental calculation and statistical analysis as the new stallion had approached. He himself had been with two elements of harmony, his friend Wits End was with another two and this strange stallion was with the final two elements. Now, Discord wasn’t one to stick with patterns, but if it meant more chaos he might make an exception. There was only one way to find out.
“Hoy there travelers,” he said to the new group of ponies, “Did ya’ll spot any freshwater space whales on your travels?” Rainbow Dash and Twilight shared a puzzled look before they both turned their gazes to Purple Heart. The purple earth pony blinked at the grey pegasus, confusion apparent on his face for a short second before recognition made him crack a smile.
“My apologies,” he replied. “We saw no such beasts during our adventures. We did however find a heardable bloat or two along the way.”
Light Patch smiled and opened his mouth to say something before he froze. His face turned to a serious expression as he glanced at his two ponified friends. He squeezed his eyes shut as he knew he’d pay for it, but the moment was just too good. With a goofy grin quickly seizing his face he finally spoke. “It’s good to have my friends back. So good in fact, I think I feel a song coming on.” Rarity and Applejack grimaced, already familiar with his singing. Unlike Pinkie Pie, he wasn’t all that good. “Oh, reunited and it feels so good~” he began.
A flash of annoyance instantly crossed Wits End’s face the moment the pegasus started singing. At the same time, Purple Heart’s face went blank. In unison, the two ponies trotted forward, raised forehooves, and slapped their merry companion upside the back of the head, much to the surprise of the Mane Six. While the grey pegasus was rubbing the back of his head muttering ‘worth it’ over and over, Wits End glanced at the purple pony, the same spark that had identified Light Patch coming into play. “Hang on. Purple Heart?” Purple Heart cocked his head to one side, a frown furrowing his brow before another smile cracked his face.
“Jes, Monsieur Ponce?” he asked cheekily.
Wits End grinned, a combination of happiness and relief washing over him. “Purple Heart!” Purple Heart’s smile faltered for a split second.
“Jes?” he repeated, less cheeky this time. Something was coming, he just knew it. He just didn’t know what….
A small twitch began spasming in the corner of the mint-colored unicorn’s eye; memories of his larger companion’s last words before they were separated returning. “Purple Heart,” he growled, baring a surprising number of teeth for his size. Purple Heart blanched, backing slowly away from his smallest compatriot. He was now certain that something was going to happen. The rest of the Mane Six knew this as well. But unlike Purple Heart, they didn’t know of what nature the action was. Light Patch was still on the ground, trying to convince himself the song was worth the price in pain he had paid for it.
With a wordless howl, Wits End lunged at Purple Heart’s neck, feathered cap and cape billowing wildly as he wrapped his hooves around the larger pony’s throat in an attempt to strangle him. Purple Heart’s eyes bulged in surprise as he tried to gently push the mint-colored pony away from him, but with little success. While he was trying not to hurt his small friend, his compatriot was vastly more aggressive in his actions, thus making him much like a rabid squirrel. The irony was almost amusing, but it was difficult to enjoy while trying to protect his neck from a very irate unicorn.
The Mane Six froze at the sight of what had appeared to be close friends, and now seemed to be worst enemies, fighting with tooth and hoof. Light Patch glanced up upon hearing the noise and reacted swiftly; he moved in and began trying to separate the two. After a few seconds, he managed wedge his hoofs between them enough he could leverage the unicorn away. After that came the hard part though: keeping the enraged unicorn from getting back to his prey. The pegasus used his gear and own body weight to pin the unicorn down. Purple Heart heaved an exasperated sigh, trying to achieve breathing capability.
“Whadacarp is your problem?!” he rasped. “I-”
“Lemme at’m!” Wits End shouted, struggling fruitlessly against the pegasus. “It’s his fault this whole thing got started! Him and his,” his voice took on a mocking depth, “‘Oh, send us to where we belong’!” He returned to his normal tone, pointing an accusing hoof at the purple pony. “Didn’t you learn anything from watching cartoons? You don’t give a genie any leeway when you give them an order! All we had to do was make it clear we were having no part of Discord’s shenanigans, and we’d be home right now! I- Gah!” It was like his ranting had collided with itself in a rush to escape, and dissolved into incoherent babbling punctuated by the occasional spasming hoof. The Mane Six all turned to look at the panting Purple Heart, waiting for his argument. It was Light Patch who spoke up first though.
“Listen to me, Wits End. You and I both know that Discord was gonna do this no matter what we said. He didn’t ever seem to have that much of a listening streak, so why would he have listened to us?” the grey pegasus began. “So-”
“‘My fault’ my arse!” Purple Heart bellowed, his deep voice sending shivers down the spines of the Mane Six. “For one, I don’t sound like that! Too pitchy, not enough grunt! Two, Light Patch is right! Discord would’ve found a loophole regardless of what we said! And three, could you try killing me after we save this town? I mean, none of our scenarios go beyond three meets. Why should this one be any different?” His chest heaving rapidly from his counter-rant, Purple Heart glared at where his friend was being squished under Light Patch.
Wits End glared back. “Of course it didn’t sound like you! I was doing caricature, not an impression. Secondly, you are completely correct and I will ceed that point to you fully and completely! And finally!” The unicorn coughed, tilting his head to one side and holding a hoof over his nose. “If I promise not to kill you until after the town is safe, will you get him off of me? He smells like dirt. And bees.” Purple Heart twisted his muzzle into a tight smile as he stepped forward to help his friend only to stop when Light Patch snapped at them.
“LIES UND SLANDER!” Light Patch suddenly shouted “I shall not stand for this!” Purple Heart opened his mouth to retort but hesitated, as he looked expectantly at the compressed unicorn.
As if by clockwork, Wits End responded. “Then sit down!” he snapped. A split second later, his eyes widened. “No, wai-” Purple Heart chuckled at his friend’s misfortune as Light Patch obliged the mint-colored pony’s request.
“A bit boney not really comfortable need to get more meat on your bones. One out of five stars, would not sit on again.” Light Patch finished, adding a slight hint of snob to his voice before giving a shout of surprise as he was shoved off the unicorn.
“Get off of me, you clod!” Wits End grumbled, shoving the grey pegasus’ hindquarters. After Light Patch was lying face first on the ground beside him, the mint unicorn whirled around to glare at Purple Heart. The purple earth pony was gasping for breath on his back from laughing so hard. Breathing was becoming very hard for the earth pony as he wheezed. Purple Heart inhaled deeply, trying to reacquire some air but was prohibited by a sudden hiccup that was followed by a shrill squeaking burp. The Mane Six just stared at the situation before them. Never before had they witnessed such strange behavior, not even within their own group.
Twilight took a few hesitant steps toward the three stallions, an expression of worry for their safety and sanity on her face. “Are… you three alright?” she asked, head tilted slightly.
“Quite alright,” Wits End said, brushing off his cape; all signs of anger seemingly forgotten.
“Because you looked like you were trying to kill your friend there…”
“Perfectly normal. Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s all in good fun,” Purple Heart said, coming to stand beside the mint unicorn. “Sometimes...”
“It’s just the regularly scheduled randomness really,” Light Patch added sliding between his two friends and hooking his front legs around their necks. The trio completely missed the look of horror Twilight threw them.
“What kind of friends are you?” she asked incredulously.
“The best kind?” Wits End said as both he and Purple Heart shrugged free of Light Patch’s hold, causing him to fall face first into the ground. He picked a blade of grass off the end of his cap’s feather. “You’re the princess of friendship, right? It’s not all tea parties and shopping trips, after all.” He thought for a moment. “Well, some of it is tea parties. But not all of it.”
“You know it’s a good thing I’m only a minor germaphobe, or the amount of time my face was spending getting acquainted with the ground would be quite distressing.” Light Patch muttered. Purple Heart frowned and looked over Light Patch at his unicorn friend.
“One, what shopping trips?” he asked. “Two, why the cape? You know what happens to ponies with capes. Remember Thunder Head?”
Wits End rolled his eyes. “Blame Discord. Besides, I think it looks quite dashing.” He swept the cape around dramatically, holding it up over the lower half of his face. “I am the night,” he growled. Purple Heart snorted.
“Yeah, sure,” he grunted. “See how that works for you, Batpony. That cape is gonna bite you in the butt sometime. Discord will make sure of it.”
“That’s the other thing,” Twilight cut in, before the trio could get lost in their own world of in-jokes. She pointed an accusing hoof at the three stallions in turn, eyes narrowed in suspicion. “How do you know Discord? Are you spies?!”
Fluttershy took a few hesitant steps to stand slightly behind the purple princess pony. “Uh, Twilight? I… don’t think you need to worry about them being, um, dangerous or anything like that. I mean, Wits End was helping us when me and Pinkie Pie were separated from you all.” She hesitated for a second. “Oh, sorry if I interrupted your interrogation or anything. Sorry.”
Rarity moved next to Fluttershy. “They may be uncouth, barbaric, a little rude, and perhaps slightly stinky as well...” she began.
“Wow, you shameless flatterer,” Light Patch deadpanned from his prone position.
“Told you,” Wits End muttered. “Dirt and bees.”
“Uncouth?” Purple Heart growled. “Barbaric? Rude? Fair enough. But stink...that’s 100% genuine colt musk.”
“Oh shush, I’m trying to defend you,” Rarity shot back at the stallions, “but they seem to be as close of friends as we are, and while perhaps a little disturbing at times,” Rarity shuddered slightly as she remembered a couple of the evil looking grins Light Patch had worn during their time together, “they seem nice enough, and genuinely interested in helping us.” Rainbow Dash floated forward.
“Did you forget how much help Purple Heart gave us during those fights?” she pointed out. “We probably wouldn’t be here if not for him.” Twilight rounded on the blue pegasus.
“And how do you suppose he knew all that stuff if he wasn’t a spy who knew the rules already?” she snapped. Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to respond but hesitated.
“Uh...” she mumbled. Twilight nodded.
“See?”
“Objection!” Wits End stomped a hoof on the ground dramatically. “The prosecution is ignoring one vital piece of evidence!”
“A boot to the head?” Purple Heart asked cheekily.
Wits End shot a glare at the purple earth pony. “No, smartalec. We all have prior experience in a similar situation to this one. The game rules that Discord is running under,” he turned back to Twilight, “whom we’ve been just as much victims of, are nearly identical to those of a game that the three of us are familiar with.” He sat down next to Light Patch, crossing his forelegs over his chest. “The defence rests.”
Twilight’s mouth formed a thin line as she thought, unused to having her speculations countered so quickly after being formulated. “But what if you’re all secretly working for Discord, and that’s where you got your information from?”
Purple Heart barked a laugh that startled the Mane Six. “I don’t think Wits End would let us work with somepony like Discord. Even if he is a spectacular villain.”
“I’d also like to remind you,” Wits End retorted, “that I’ve been beaten up far too much by random encounters in the last twenty-four hours to hold any loyalty to that… guy.” He pointed at his side. “I almost died by giant bug!”
“No you didn’t!” Pinkie Pie called from behind the remaining Mane Six.
“I’m being dramatic for effect!” Wits End called back.
Applejack turned to look at Twilight. “And Light Patch there got that dent in his helmet when his own hammer fell from the sky and critically hit him. Or something like that...” She trailed off at the end after hearing Light Patch’s groan of displeasure. The grey pegasus covered up his face in embarrassment, having hoped in vain to keep that little event from the rest.
Wits End looked down at Light Patch, eyebrows raising as a grin began to spread over his face. “You crit’d yourself?”
“No, I did not.” Light Patch said self-consciously.
“He crit’d himself,” Purple Heart confirmed..
“No! It was Discord. My hammer wasn’t there until Applejack asked where it was then it fell from the sky, and crit’d me,” he finished with a huff. “So it’s totally Discord’s fault.” The pegasus laid back down, his wings lightly buzzing in annoyance. Rarity hid her grin at the sound, resisting the urge to point out its similarity to the buzz of a bee.
“Sure, sure,” Wits End chuckled. “Anyway, you’d expect a boss to take better care of his minions, don’t you think?”
Twilight looked between the three stallions and her friends. “But what if-”
“Lemme ask you this,” Wits End interrupted, hoping to stop the purple princess before her paranoia. “What’s your proof that we are spies, hmm? A good theory always has a tangible event to spark it.”
Twilight’s mouth worked silently. “W-well,” she stuttered. “I- You guys- Discord-”
“Twilight,” Fluttershy said softly, putting a gentle hoof on her shoulder. “Maybe you’re overthinking this a bit? Discord did say he set up this game for us to have fun. Maybe he’s also trying to repay us for all the friendship lessons by giving one of his own?”
“I... I...” Twilight sighed, her shoulders hunched. “Fine, I suppose that’s possible.” She looked at the stallions. “Sorry about that.”
“Eh, you're just looking out for your friends. I get it.” Light Patch said, sitting up. Suddenly, a note of surprise flashed across his face. “I just remembered. Weren’t we up to something before this little reunion got started?”
“Oh, thats right! I almost forgot. We were helping the villagers set up traps around the town,” Rarity said, looking at the spiders web of loose rope around the road. “I was a little worried about our chances. But with all of us together again, well, things seem a little less grim. Perhaps I should take you all to the town guards’ barracks so you can figure out where you’ll be able to help the most?” Applejack nodded in agreement. “Very well then. Follow along dears, and do watch your step,” Rarity said, turning to lead her friends, new and old, into town.
“Ooh! A barracks!” Pinkie Pie squealed, following Rarity into the village. “Is it a big barracks? Oh! I can hold a big barracks bash! With berry barracks bites and banana barracks bread!” After a moment, she stopped next to Rarity, leaning in conspiratorially. “Hey, what’s a barracks anyway?”
Applejack turned back to what she had been working on at the start of this whole event. “Hey, Light Patch! Can you come over here and help me with this?” she asked over her shoulder to the grey pegasus.
"Of course I can help citizen, for I am, The Tool." Light Patch said, suddenly using a brash tone of voice.
Applejack rolled her eyes. Honestly, she thought to herself, that stallion was almost as bad as Pinkie. "Well then, Mr. The Tool, git over here and hold this while I tie it off.”
Twilight lingered behind for a moment as the rest of the ponies started moving. Fluttershy tilted her head, looking back at the purple alicorn. “Twilight? Are you alright?”
“Hmm?” Twilight looked up from her reverie. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” She followed behind, her eyes narrowed and locked on the back of Wits End’s head. “Suspiciously fine,” she muttered.