//------------------------------//
// Austraeoh: The SCHNALPHLACHT Edition 
// Story: What the Heck 
// by Zytharros 
//------------------------------//

Mountains. Endless mountains. The sky kissed them. The wind caressed them. The clouds played with them. The humps of stone, clothed in shimmering, post-rain trees, rolled ever eastward as a blue missile flew overhead.





"Celestia, the representatives from Val Roa are here."

"Val Roa! What would cause a civilization that far away to send emissaries?"

"I don't know, sister, but we have been assured it is a peaceful visit."





Oceans. Rainblow Dry's hair matched the colour below. A burning civilization along the beach provided the backdrop to her rapid exit. Ponies wielding torches and pitchforks chased after the cackling pegasus, determined to end her with FI-YAH. She just cackled.





Celestia was greeted by a striped pony and a smaller unicorn mare with the longest horn she had ever seen. It required the mare to wheel her horn in on  three wheels and address her from halfway down the hall. Celestia was glad when the mare's voice carried as far as it did.





Rainblow Dry looked down at the entire continent, chasing her in circles through the Grand Choke. She wore an evil grin, occasionally laughing cuss words like a psychotic Tourette's patient on speed. She just had to circle 60,000 more times and they'd all be dead.





"Celestia, about that idiot you sent us..."

"Who, Rainbow Dash?"

"No. The one AFTER Rainbow Dash!"





Rainbow Dry watched as the Grand Choke itself erupted in spasmodiac convulsions, itself trying to figure out how to kill this damn fool flying into it WHERE SHE SHOULDN'T BE FRAKKING ABLE TO! Rainblow Dry just gave it the middle hoof. Thrice. And flew straight south.





"I never sent anyone after Rainbow Dash. Besides..."

"Frak you!" the guest screamed. "It's war!"

Celestia sighed and tried to contact Val Roa to no avail. She raised an eyebrow.





Rainblow Dry flew over the edge of the world, dragging the entire Grand Choke out into the chaos with her, along with every mare and stallion and foal and colt and filly and changeling and so on and so on and so on until Celestia felt the tug on her own magic. She looked out and saw the blue pegasus be attacked by...





Rainbow Dash swooped out of the sky and engaged Rainblow Dry in hooficuffs. The battle was fierce. The planet was shredded. The Midnight Armory lost its dusplay sign, reading Midn A. It got warped into itself, causing a singularity. The two blue Pegasi fighting created another. Soon, the singularities began duelling.





Celestia watched in horror while Val Roa's ambassador rioted onward. She ordered her guards to stop and stare at the sun. She knew that this was it. Her plane was over. It was time for a new world to be born. The two sungularities invited Celestia, herself a living singularity, into a menage-a-trois.





A thousad years later, a new world was born. It gave birth to creatures of all kinds, and soon developed ponies. These ponies would go on to live magical lives until another singularity menage-a-trois occurred. This time, a W interrupted the match, but it only changed ponies to Twili. Thus was born Midna.