"Mmkay, let's see... a pinch of pixie dust...got it. Two cups of apple cider...got it. One phoenix feather...got it. Three cacao leaves...um...oh yeah, I got em. A teaspoon of unicorn saliva...man what a pain that one was, but I got it. And of course..."
Spike looked down at his arm. Just think....It's for Rarity...you can do it. Don't think about it. Just do it... And with a wince, he closed his eyes and ripped a scale straight off of his arm.
"YEOWCH!.......a...a piece of yourself. I got it...ow..."
And with that, he tossed his scale into the bubbling concoction of things before him, and it made a little splash as it melted into the mystical orange liquid. On a dark summer night such as this one, the orange glow of the potion in his black cauldron gave him just enough light to see what he doing, but fortunately it wasn't so bright it would wake up Twilight. He wished he could work in the day, when he wasn't so tired. But he couldn't let her find out what he was doing...
Spike had set up a little magic laboratory in the library, consisting of a black pot intended for alchemy, a few assorted measuring instruments, and a book entitled Magical Potions for the Non-Magical Pony. Normally, Twilight Sparkle would have probably been quite proud that her Number One Assistant was finally pursuing something intellectual and scientific. But Spike knew he had to keep this project a secret, for Twilight would surely be furious if she knew his true intentions....
Spike intended to create, in essence, a love potion. He came across the idea one day when he was sorting through Twilight's absolutely mess of a study area. He had been quite tired that evening from cleaning all day, and he accidentally dropped one the books while putting it away. Upon hitting the floor, the book had opened up, and the heading on that particular page caught Spike's eye:
"How to Create A Love Potion - A Simple Spell for Winning Anypony!"
Spike knew that this might be wrong. The moral implications of forcing somebody to be in love with you were...well, implicating. But when that title caught his eye, he couldn't help but find himself a little curious. Could it be true? Could it really be that simple to cure his heartache? He had been thinking about her all day that day, he couldn't stop himself from at least taking a look.
And thus, Spike found himself in possession of Magical Potions for the Non-Magical Pony. Spike wasn't exactly a pony, but he doubted that mattered. And when he read the instructions to find the potion would be a rather easy one to make, his temptations and desires overcame him. He rummaged through Twilight's things to find her old alchemy pot, gathered the necessary ingredients, and, well...three weeks later, it was tonight.
It had taken Spike a while to work on the potion for enough nights to get it finished. Twilight had a tendency to pull all-nighters watching the stars, or fretting over how to cope with the recent trauma of getting only a 98% on her unicorn history report. And so it took several sessions of adding ingredients to the cauldron at night, then hiding it in the kitchen cupboard before dusk. And man, was that thing heavy! It was even bigger than Spike was, so he was sure he'd gotten stronger from pushing that thing around.
And tonight, it was finished! Spike sighed with relief and wiped some stress off his brow, smiling as he admired his creation. He had done this for Rarity- his sweet, beautiful Rarity, the wonderful pony who ran the fashion shop. Soon she would be his. The thought filled his scaly stomach with butterflies...
"It won't be long now, Rarity..." he whispered. "Soon we'll be together..."
Curiously enough, when a love potion cooled down after it was finished, it was basically the color and taste of your average cup of coffee. Thus giving new meaning to the phrase, "want to come inside for a cup of coffee?"
It was now morning in Ponyville. The birds were singing the peaceful tunes of summer, and sunshine serenely flowed through the windows into Twilight Sparkle's house. Apparently such a peaceful, quiet scene was rather offensive to Twilight Sparkle's alarm clock, so it expressed its' distaste like any polite and proper pony: by screaming like a maniac and waking up everypony in the house.
Within moments Twilight Sparkle was out of bed, absentmindedly brushing her mane in front of the mirror and mentally reviewing what to put on her checklist for today.
Let's...see... she thought groggily. Rarity...coming over....ugh...sleep. Bed...no, brush. Coffee. Need coffee. I wonder what paste tastes like...mmm....it feels good to close my eyes....no! Checklist....um...Rarity....friendship report...sleep....Trollestia...Spike...all toads are frogs but not all frogs are toads.....gotta shop today.....bed. Sheets feel good like candy. I want to sleep....wait. What? Checklist....checklist....bed...shower...I NEED COFFEE!
As per usual, Twilight's thought process was a little...ah, jumbled in the morning until she had her daily cup of coffee to wake her up. Giving up on fixing her mane right now, she tossed the brush away and sleepily made her way down the stairs.
"Spike..." she called out, yawning. "Could you....*yawn*...please make me a...coffee....*yawn* There's a lot to....get done....today..."
The purple baby dragon was instantly on the scene. "You got it, Twi!" he cheerily assured her, giving her a thumbs up as he ran to the kitchen. Normally, at this time of the day Spike was hoarding away in his bed, forsaking sunlight and not waking up until much later. But today, Spike felt the same kind of excitement that made fillies everywhere wake up early on Hearth's Warming Eve. Not only was his love potion finished, but this morning Rarity was coming over! She was coming to discuss some sort of dress design or whatever with Twilight and have a few drinks. The reason didn't matter to Spike. What mattered is that this was an opportunity.
"Ya want milk in it, Twilight?" he called to her as he got out the dishes.
"Yeah....that'd be nice..."
"And how about sugar?"
As he prepared Twilight's morning coffee, adrenaline and giddy excitement was coursing through Spikes very aura. Oh man, this was so exciting! For years, Rarity had been the pony of his dreams...he had always desired her...and finally, today might be the day! Today, she would confess her feelings for him...today they would spend time together...and maybe, if Spike played his cards right....perhaps...she might even give him a kiss...
The thought sent Spike into a lovestruck daze. His boyhood fantasy preoccupying his every thought, he went through the motions of making Twilight's coffee without really paying attention to what he was doing. He didn't really even realize he had made her coffee already. Soon, it was just...there. A cup of coffee, already hot and ready. Well that went quickly. But who cares? All that mattered was the bright future that awaited him and Rarity...he could barely see clearly as the thought enveloped his consciousness.
"Thanks, Spike..." mumbled Twilight, using her magic to retrieve her beloved morning fuel. Spike barely heard her. He could only think of the fact that Rarity would soon be here.
Oh, that's right! he thought. I better get the love potion ready before she gets here...I'll just go get the cauldron and...
Confused, Spike rubbed his head from the mild pain. He had just walked into something...the cauldron. Wait, why was it already out? What was it doing here on the floor? Spike didn't recall leaving it out last night...yes, he specifically remembered the workout of moving it back into it's hiding place last night. And even if he did forget about it, why in Equestria would he have left it here?
It took him a few moments of standing there, until a horrific realization suddenly dawned on him.
Ah. Clarity. It was always such a refreshing feel, satiating your caffeine addiction in the morning. As the hot, bitter liquid flowed down Twilight Sparkle's throat, her critical thinking skills slowly returned to her and she found her mood instantly improving. She loved coffee.
Alright! she confidently declared in her mind. Today I should finish reading Observations of Changelings: A Report On Hive Life, and try and find something new to report to Princess Celestia! Oh, and Rarity is also coming over soon to talk about my dress for the next Gala...I guess I should prepare some drinks for her? And Spike...
"...Oh no," she then heard her Number One Assistant dreadfully whisper. The little dragon was turned away from Twilight, frozen in place. What was that about?
Ah, cute little Spike, she thought. Who knew what he was worrying about now. But it was so cute whenever he did! In fact, it was pretty cute whenever Spike did anything, what with his lovely curves and shiny scales...
Oh, Spike...you're so adorable in such a special way...you're like a ...a scaly, adorable little stallion...my Spikey-Wikey...you're so...I want to...
What was Twilight thinking?! What were these kinds of thoughts? She found herself blushing as she observed Spike. What was this feeling? She...she couldn't stop thinking about how adorable Spike was...no, how stallion like Spike was...she couldn't believe this...with each moment, she found herself growing hotter and hotter at the thought of her pet dragon...this couldn't be right. Maybe the caffeine was getting to her?
No. It was not getting to her. Within moments she was grabbed by a deep inner conviction. She loved Spike. Spike was the perfect pony for her, even if he wasn't really a pony. How could she have not realized it before?! It was as if she had seen him for the first time!
"Oh man. Please no. Please no....TWILIGHT!!!" Spike exclaimed in a panic. he turned around a rushed over to her.
"DON'T DRINK IT!! DON'T DRINK IT!!!" he shouted at her in a frenzy. In a display of ninja-like skills, he swiftly grabbed the coffee mug and promptly annihilated it with his dragon fire.
"Did...did you just destroy that mug?" asked Twilight rhetorically, a little startled. "Um...why?"
"Twilight!" cried Spike. "Please tell me you didn't drink that! Please!"
She didn't answer him. Instead, a mischievous grin covered Twilight's face and a seductive fire appeared in her eyes. She leaned her head down towards Spike and looked him the eye.
"Oh, the coffee? ...That doesn't matter. I think what matters more, is that we make a checklist...of all the reasons you're simply prodigious."
"Twilight!" Spike yelled in a panic, grabbing Twilight by the shoulders. Panicking, he said the first thing he thought of that could stop this. "You're...you're like a sister to me, Twilight! You know?! I view you as my older sister!"
The purple mare responded to this by leaning in next to Spike's head, and whispering sensually in his ear:
"Incest occurs in 72.3% of animals. It's natural."
....In the words of Big Mac:
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" roared the baby dragon at the top of his lungs- which was quite loud, actually, considering he was a dragon. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't have Twilight Sparkle be in love with him! When he said he viewed her as a sister, he meant it! Within seconds, Spike was running away as fast as he could. He dashed out of the front door with the speed of a Wonderbolt.
What had he done?
And thus begins the story of how Spike became a stalking victim. A story that will end horribly.