//------------------------------// // Starlight Glimmer // Story: Know your Mare // by overlord-flinx //------------------------------// Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare... On center stage (what's left of it) stands a budding new face to all the realm; a mare standing rather balanced and equal, all things considered. Starlight Glimmer... ...We want to ask you a question... "Ask away. That IS partly why I came here after all. To express myself." Yeah... Anyway! How tall is a dog? "A dog?" A dog... "I'd say about this tall...?" Putting her hoof at around half her size, she looked confused. And how tall is a pony? Glimmer raised her hoof up to her own height. "This tall... The same height as me... A pony." And how tall is a horse? Glimmer raised her hoof even higher, pointing her front limb out over and in front of her, as if she were measuring a horse. "This tall--" FREEZE IT! The shutter of a camera went off with a great flash; capturing Starlight Glimmer with her hoof raised up in a heil. This'll look great on the cover of Cutie Marxist Weekly. "That's not a magazine." How would you know? You haven't seen civilized living in years! "Yes I have!" Starlight Glimmer... ...has a willy... "I have a w--No I don't!" Does someone in your town have a willy...? "Yes. But they're boys!" Sounds unfair... Hash-tag Free-Willies... "You don't need anatomy to be equal to be equal." Starlight Glimmer... ...Failed first grade math... "Where are you getting this slanted information?" Starlight Glimmer... ...Pokes kids with a stick... "You have to so you can remove the cutie marks. How else would you do it?" Tirek did it by sucking on ponies... You're like a smaller, lamer, stick wielding Tirek... ...With bad hair. "My hair is just--!" Now you know... Starlight Glimmer... "Liars! They don't know anything." Calling us a liar? Who's the one that puts blush on her butt? "It's not blush! It's mascara!" Starlight Glimmer hopped off the stage in a huff, entering the darkness and leaving the show behind. Bring your hippy-dippy bull-pie to someone who cares! Yeah! Three out of four of us don't even have cutie marks!