Ashen Blaze, with PC upon his head, walked past the startled Twilight Sparkle and up to Flutter-tree, not even glancing at the winged unicorn in his fascination with the yellow pony-turned-willow. “Transformatus en totalus,” the ash-grey mage said, “and full taxonomic shift to boot.”
“Stop trying to sound smart and start trying to fix the poor thing.” Twilight turned around to see Gale, Gold Heart, and Soul Mage standing just inside the gate of Fluttershy’s yard. With them was a fourth pony, earth breed with a mid-range grey coat, a mane of nearly the same color cut short and styled up in a Mohawk, and dark turquoise eyes. “Hello Twilight,” Soul said, “That’s… an interesting fashion statement you’re making.”
“Huh?” Twilight asked, confused until a twinge in her side reminded her. “Oh, right, the rope. There’s a good reason for that.”
Ash turned away from Fluttershy to make a comment, but was distracted from it by Rainbow Dash’s arrival. He stared slack-jawed at the winged pony-shaped cloud until Heart came over and gave him a light wing-slap on the head. “Y’gosh, the surprises keep getting bigger,” he exclaimed excitedly, “but then the possible explanations keep getting more complex…”
“Can you please stop acting like a kid in a candy store Ash?” Heart asked quietly, shooting a glance back at the other Order-naries, “You’re on thin ice as it is.”
“Truth,” Ash said, sobering, “but this is the first opportunity I’ve had to really analyze chaos-fueled magic without it being thrown around violently and in my general direction.”
“Chaos-fueled?” Rainbow exclaimed.
“Do you know what’s happened to us?” Twilight asked almost at the same time.
“Us?” Ash responded in confusion. Twilight undid the ropes and let her tiny wings free, and they responded by posturing proudly. “Ah,” the fire-maned unicorn said, nodding, “Not the strangest thing I’ve seen today, but that makes the count four for four. Well, I can’t say I know exactly what’s happened to change you, but Discord is at the heart of it.” He gave a reassuring wave of his hoof as Twilight and Rainbow gasped and Flutter-tree’s eyes bugged out. “He’s still petrified, mostly,” Ash said, “but…” He trailed off, closing his mouth in a grimace as debated how to break the news.
“His seal’s weakened,” Soul said, coming to Ash’s aid, “enough to play some mind games and arrange for being spirited away from Canterlot.”
“Yes,” Ash said, giving the golden-yellow unicorn a grateful look, “I figured he’d want to lie low until he can break loose, and the Everfree Forest is a good place for his kind of villain to lay low in, so I teleported myself and the team to Zecora’s to start the search, only to find her,” he pointed to the grey earth pony, “and PC started picking up a lot of ambient chaos magic in Ponyville’s direction. So we came to see if we could lend a hand.”
“And who is she?” Twilight asked, walking to take a closer look at the stranger. She stopped short as the mare met her gaze with a knowing smile and a familiar glint in her eyes. Twilight blinked twice as other details like the angular muzzle, the grey band at the base of her tail, and the lithe strength implied by her stance clicked into place in her mind. “Zecora?”
“Correct on the first guess Twilight,” the grey mare said, her accent confirming her identity, “I share the fate that has afflicted all of you.”
“Hey, you didn’t rhyme,” Rainbow said, concern in her eyes.
“Yes,” the former zebra said, “even if I wanted to, I cannot form a rhyme. Attempting to ends in failure every… occasion.”
“It’s definitely not poison joak, if you were wondering,” Ash said, circling Fluttershy slowly as PC scanned her, “Zecora tried the remedy bath already and thus far…” He paused and looked up at Rainbow Dash. “PC hasn’t been able to isolate external cause of these transformations. I’ll need more time, and more subjects if we can get them. Is anypony else… off today?”
“Well, Spike’s going through an odd growth spurt,” Rainbow said, “and Derpy was… more so. And then there’s Angel and-” She cut off and flinched back in fright along with everypony else as a frustrated pink earth pony suddenly appeared in the middle of the group.
“Holy Pinkie Pie out of nowhere!” Ash yelped.
Pinkie blinked, looked around, and then visibly relaxed and started babbling, “Oh my gosh girls – oh, and guys too hi there Ash and Soul – you not believe the day I’ve been having so far. I don’t know how much time I’ve got to explain, so don’t interrupt, mm’kay? Anyway, after that cra-azy windstorm last evening I had more dust in my coat than coat, so I went home and had a nice long bath and afterward my Pinkie Sense started going off for some new kind of doozy so I decided to stay up until I found out what it meant. About midnight or so I started to get drowsy and I closed my eyes for a second and the next thing I know I’m in the lake! And that was only the start; ever since then I’ve been teleporting around to random places at random moments and I can’t contr-” With that she was gone just as suddenly as she had appeared, leaving bewildered silence in her wake.
“What the heck just happened?” Soul asked after finding his voice at last.
“Nicht goh vet’ciu,” Ash muttered, moving PC’s eyepiece aside and rubbing his eyes in disbelief, “Bara…”
“In Einglish, Ash,” Gale said reprovingly.
“She didn’t leave a trace,” the ash-grey unicorn said, repositioning the eyepiece, “No gathering or shifting of the local magic field prior to her appearance, no crack or snap of air moving into or out of the space she occupied, and absolutely nothing to predict her disappearance or to even hint that she was here. PC confirms she was physically there, but by all the laws of physics, magic, and so on she just did the impossible.”
“Well, it is Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow said.
“No,” Twilight said, shaking her head, “She was disturbed by it happening. If Pinkie is freaked out by Pinkie doing something inexplicable, there’s something wrong.”
“I think it might be a good idea to check on Applejack and Rarity,” Heart said, “if not the entire population of Ponyville.”
“Good plan,” Ash said, heading for the road, “I still need more scans for PC to work with anyway.”
Rainbow and Twilight shared a glance as the Order-naries and Zecora trotted away. “Will you ok by yourself here Fluttershy?” Twilight asked the pony-tree. Fluttershy blinked twice and then looked emphatically to her left. Twilight looked over and gave herself a light face-hoof when she saw Angel and several other animals standing nearby, the over-sized bunny giving her a smug look. “You won’t be alone, right,” Twilight said, “We’ll be back as soon as we find a solution.”
“Count on it,” Rainbow added as the she and Twilight took off after Ash’s company.
They made their way toward the Carousel Boutique first, providing Ash and PC the opportunity to observe other ponies who had undergone strange transformations. They passed by Lyra and Bon Bon on Stirrup Street. The green unicorn was finding herself unable to set her front hooves on the ground and thus forced to balance against Bon Bon, whose voice changed pitch and timbre every time she opened her mouth. They were mildly put out to learn that there wasn’t a fix, but trusted that Twilight and Zecora could eventually find one. “We’ll be on the nearest bench when you’re ready,” Bon Bon said, sounding like a raspy trumpet as she helped guide Lyra away. Up in the sky, a few pegasi were making a valiant attempt at keeping the sky clear despite the fact that they were either sweating clouds or actually were clouds like Rainbow Dash, and the task was made more difficult by Thunderlane ricocheting from roof to roof like a living lightning bolt. A couple of times Pinkie Pie came running down from a cross street to rejoin them, only to vanish into thin air again before reaching them.
As they finally neared Rarity’s home, the sounds of shouting, feline yowls, and collisions coming from inside spurred them to gallop over the remaining distance. Ashen Blaze reached the door first and threw it open as he charged inside to assess the situation. “Rarity!” He cried, “We’re here to help! What’s wrong?” The boutique was a mess of upset ponequins and clothing racks, overturned and upset furniture, and scattered outfits and cloth with a garnish of white cat hair. Through all this, little Sweetie Belle was attempting to grab and restrain Opalescence, who in turn was chasing something small currently underneath a taffeta cape. At Ash’s cry, the pursuit came to a pause, and then the small bump under the cape started moving toward Ash, revealing itself as a white rat as it came into the open. Sweetie caught Opal’s tail under her hoof and proceeded to try and subdue the Persian while dodging angry claws and at the same time shouting, “The mouse is Rarity!”
“Of course she is,” Ash said, rolling his eyes. He knelt down slightly and held out a leg for the white rodent to hop on to and climb up. Once she was on his back, Ash straightened up in time to see Opal pouncing toward him and caught her in a telekinetic bubble. “Bad kitty,” he said sharply. Opal glowered and growled before turning her back on him with an indignant upward tilt of her nose.
“Oh my,” the rat said in a quiet, breathless voice that was unmistakably Rarity’s, scaled down to size, “My poor heart… Ash, you’re my hero.”
“It’s what I do,” Ash said casually, waiting patiently as Sweetie Belle went upstairs and returned with a cat carrier.
“Would you mind terribly if I fainted?” Rarity asked.
“Try not to fall off,” Ash replied as the transformed pony fell onto her back with a paw held to her forehead. Sweetie came over with the carrier and Ash stuffed the furious white cat unceremoniously inside and slammed the door shut on her face. “Lucky you were here Ms. Belle,” he said, patting the filly on the head, “but if you’re thinking of an animal wrangling cutie mark, you might need more practice.”
“I’m just glad Rarity’s ok,” Sweetie Belle said after setting the cat carrier down, relief mixing with glee at the praise from the grey unicorn.
“So, Rari-rat, huh?” Rainbow Dash asked, poking her cloud head through the top of the door to get a better look, “Or does ‘Rat-ity’ sound better?”
“I am a mouse thank you very much,” Rarity said, glaring up at the cloud-pony, “A much less dirty and more refined creature. And what in Equestria happened to you?”
“I’m a cloud,” Rainbow answered flatly, “Twilight’s got tiny wings, Spike’s turning into a snake-dragon, Pinkie’s got some random teleporting thing going on, Zecora’s not technically a zebra anymore and Fluttershy is a tree. Not to mention that the better part of Ponyville’s got something weird going on.”
“Oh my,” Rarity said, aghast.
“Indeed,” Ash said, adjusting PC slightly before stepping out of the boutique, “Now, the curious thing is that Sweetie Belle doesn’t seem to have been affected while you were Rarity. What is the crucial difference?” He frowned and rolled his eyes as the head-mounted computer responded to the question. “Yes,” he replied sarcastically, “scan the normals, establish a baseline, and be consistent in asking my opinion, thank you very much. And here I thought Gale was having a positive effect on his personality,” he added in a mutter as the computer scanned Sweetie.
“I have,” the brown earth pony said, “he just likes to antagonize you.”
Ash gave her a sidelong look, and then huffed and started walking away, declaring, “On to Sweet Apple Acres then.”
“How many more ponies do you need to see Ash?” Soul asked as the group fell in behind the fire-maned unicorn.
“Oh, I might have a lead before we reach the farm,” Ash replied, “but we should see to the Apples in any case. If AJ’s the only Element Bearer to not be affected by this transformative prank gone wrong, I’ll find a hat and eat it.”
“I thought you said it wasn’t poison joak?” Twilight inquired.
“It isn’t, you can trust me on that,” Zecora said, “But there is a definite similarity between this and poison joak’s desire for a... chuckle.”
“Hmm,” Twilight said, thinking, “We might be on to something there. Whatever caused these changes might be feeding off something in our subconscious. I know Spike’s always thinking about reaching his first real growth spurt, and now he’s getting one in a bad way.”
“I take it then that you’ve fantasized about being an alicorn?” Soul asked with a wry smile and a nod toward the tiny lavender wings on Twilight’s sides.
“Well,” Twilight said, blushing in embarrassment, “Princess Celestia did… er, that is… she has been my teacher since I was a little filly, and she always praised my power and quickness to learn…”
“Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Gale said, “It’s natural for a student to aspire to be exactly like their teacher. Especially when they do everything in their power to help you discover yourself…” Her voice and ears dropped sullenly as she finished and Heart quickly moved to give her a comforting nuzzle. Ash bit his lip and let his head drop slightly.
“Is something the matter Ash?” Rarity asked, feeling the stallion’s muscles tensing under her paws.
“A number of things,” Ash muttered, “Please don’t ask.”
The mouse huffed and climbed up onto Ash’s head, securing herself in his flame-colored mane and whispering, “Ashen Blaze, you know how I feel about you-”
“Any ideas why you’d become a mouse?” Ash asked, forcibly changing the subject and drawing everypony’s curious attention.
“I’m not letting this drop,” Rarity muttered into his ear before speaking up to answer the question, “Unless it’s from some silly foalhood fantasy game of mine, I can’t imagine a reason.”
“Young pegasi in Cloudsdale often use small clouds as flight aids before their wings catch back up to their bodies,” Rainbow Dash mused, looking up at the weather ponies still fighting for clear skies, “I know I wasn’t the only one who liked trying to fly while inside a cloud instead of on top of it… That was before I realized how cool speed and stunt flying were of course.”
“So, it seems like the joke, if that’s what it is, draws inspiration from our idle dreams and desires,” Twilight said.
“I never wished for this!” a giant jar of grape jelly with a pony’s head for a lid shouted from across the street.
“Oooh-kay,” Rainbow said, “We really need to get this straightened out. Ponyville’s turning into Discord’s dream home and he’s not even around to pin the blame on.”
“Nah, it needs more cotton candy clouds first,” Pinkie Pie said in a deadpan as she extracted herself from a nearby bush, her mane and tail a mess of tangles with leaves and branches in them.
“Hey Pinkie,” Twilight said, “Have you dropped in to AJ’s place yet today?”
“Nope,” the party pony answered, falling into step with the group, “but I have been to two attics, Carrot Top’s kitchen, the post office, Fluttershy’s again, and the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse. Actually, that’s on Sweet Apples Acres land, isn’t it? Nopony was around then though, so…” she finished with a shrug.
“Oh! Idea,” Rainbow said suddenly, “Pinkie, as long you’re jumping around, why don’t you tell everypony you bump into to spread the word to gather at Town Hall. We can get a headcount on all the ponies who’ve been changed so Twilight or Zecora or whoever ends up fixing this knows how big to make the fix.”
“Great idea,” Twilight said with an approving smile.
“Okie dokie,” Pinkie said, “I’ll get right on that.” Half a second later she was nowhere to be seen, although the debris in her mane was left behind.
If the Carousel Boutique was a mess, Sweet Apple Acres was a disaster area. The gale-force winds of the previous evening had nearly denuded all the trees along the boundaries between the orchard, Ponyville, and the Everfree Forest. Leaves, broken branches, and apples in various stages of growth littered the ground as far as the group could see as they approached. “What happened last night anyway?” Soul asked as they passed through the gate, “Pinkie and Sweetie Belle both mentioned a wind-storm, and this place looks like it suffered a whopper of one.”
“The wind just rose up from somewhere in the Everfree Forest without warning,” Rainbow Dash answered with a dramatic shrug, “I’ve never seen wild winds that strong; it was getting close to a six-hundred wing power tornado in strength before we could whip up a counter-current to break it. It was blowing in dust like crazy too.”
“Interesting,” Ash said slowly.
From up ahead and among the trees to the left came a voice like a helium balloon with a country accent shouting, “Rainbow Dash! Is that you I hear over there?”
“Applejack?” the cloud-pony called back with some confusion and a hint of mirth, “Did you get shrunk again?”
“Not exactly,” AJ replied as the group turned off the path and followed the sound of her voice, “It’s a bit more embarassin’ than that, so you gotta promise ya won’t laugh too much afore ya git a look at me.”
“It can’t be that bad,” Ash called out as a wagon came into view up ahead, “We’ve seen some weird stuff today.”
“Oh yeah?” Applejack said as her head rose into view from inside the wagon, “Y’all seen anything like this?” With a mighty leap she hopped up and balanced on the side of the wagon, revealing that her legs had shortened to the point of barely allowing her to keep her belly off the ground, and her tail was little more than a short tuft of hair.
“Oh my gosh, she’s like a corgi dog… pony,” Heart said, fighting down the urge to squee as her eyes widened.
“That… Mmph…” Rainbow muttered, trying to hold in her laughter.
“Go ahead and let it out RD,” AJ squeaked, rolling her eyes, “afore ya burst inta downpour or somethin’. How in hayseed did ya end up as a cloud anyway?”
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Twilight said, casting a meaningful glance at Ash, who was focused on PC at the moment, “Half of Ponyville’s suffering from weird changes. Is anyone else in your family affected?”
“Granny Smith seems to have avoided whatever this is,” the farm-pony answered, “but Macinotsh is moving like molasses in an icebox and Apple Bloom…” As if summoned, the red-headed filly came flying out of a nearby tree, executing a perfect triple back-flip with a twist before landing and going straight into a series of somersaults in the direction of the farmhouse, all while somehow twirling a loopty-hoop with her tail. Her flank was marked with a set of uneven parallel bars, a silver hoop, a spinning lasso and a yellow castle on a red shield.
“Nueva marca de cutie!” she cried as she rolled past the group, “Fuera de mi camino, necesito una cuerda!”
“Oh dear,” Rarity exclaimed, “She’s got the Cutie Pox again? Poor thing…”
Applejack did a double-take when she spotted the mouse-shaped fashionista on Ash’s back. “Might be,” she said, “but she’s only ever had four marks at a time since breakfast. She’s been trying her darndest, but between her, Mac moving like a snail, and these,” she flailed one of her stumpy legs, gesturing to the detritus all around at the same time, “we’ll be lucky to have this mess cleared out before the Running of the Leaves.”
“It’s not Cutie Pox,” Ash said, watching Apple Bloom tumble away, “She’s got the same markers of external magical contamination as…” He trailed off and blinked a few times. “Hold the phone, I think PC… Yes, yes, that’ll do nicely.” He whirled and looked around with quick jerks of his head, and then floated PC off his head and glanced around again. “Ha ha. Yes!” he crowed, rearing up in a triumphant pose, “The transformative magic is still linked to its original source, and the signs point back to the Everfree Forest. I can track it down and bring back a sample to build an antidote from.”
“You’re not going off alone,” Gale said sharply, moving to stand in front of the grey stallion.
“Ah, of course not,” Ash said, sobering, “Too risky. Heart and Soul, accompany me if you will.”
“And what about me?” Gale asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You,” Ash said, setting PC onto Gale’s head, “will study up on what PC’s deduced already and report it to the ponies of Ponyville so they can know what’s happened and figure out how to cope until a cure is found. Oh, and take Rarity too,” he added, levitating the rodent from his back to hers.
“Do be careful darlings,” Rarity said.
“Always, Rarity, always,” Ash said with a slight bow, and then turned to Heart and Soul and said, “All right, follow me.” The golden-yellow pair nodded and took up positions on either side of Ash as they galloped away toward the Forest.
“All right then,” Gale said, adjusting PC to sit properly on her head before starting to head off, “Let’s go do some crowd-control girls.” She only made it a few steps before Pinkie Pie appeared in front of her, looking a bit worried.
“Hey girls,” she said, “I was just at Trixie’s wagon, and they might need a bit of cheering up…”