Ynanhluutr

by Imploding Colon


Ask Not For Whom Sausage Simmers

“Mrmmf... gnnghh...”

Rainbow Dash twitched. Rainbow Dash curled and uncurled across the wooden floorboards.

“Mmmm... hfhhff... heheh...”

Her blue muzzle curved.

“Silly encyclopedias,” she cooed, eyes fluttering. “Those freckles don't belong to you. Now come back to the hammock.” She yawned, and her lids lifted. “...don't worry, Roarke, they don't bite—” She froze in place.

It was daylight.

The golden haze of dawn wafted through the window.

The suite was empty. It was just Rainobw, the bed, and her breaths.

“... … ...” Her ruby eyes darted around. “...Twilight?”

Silence.

“Twilight?!”

No response.

Hyperventilating, Rainbow hopped up to her hooves. With a rattle of her pendant she paced about, furiously. Her eyes glazed over with tears as her voice reached a fever pitch:

Twilight?!?!”

She seethed and shouted, looking every which way.

“Twilight?!?! Where are you?!?!

“Who?!” Twilight Sparkle's head poked up out of the bed with a lavender beam of light. “What?!” She looked everywhere, gasping. “Huh?! Where?!”

Rainbow spun, smiling in ecstasy. “Twilight!” She galloped forward. “Omigosh-omigosh-omigosh—” The pegasus slamed muzzle-first against the bedframe. WHAM! She fell back, rubbing her aching nose. “Grnnnnghh-ghhh!”

Twilight winced. “Uhhh...” Nervously, she trotted out of the bed and stood above Rainbow, phasing slightly through her lower legs. “S-sorry about that, Rainbow, I—”

“Grnnngh—Friggin' A!” Rainbow gawked up at her, wriggling her pained nose. “Twilight?!?! Where in Luna's blue crotch tits did you go?!?!”

Twilight recoiled from that. “Okay... uhm... can we start over from square one?” She gulped. “And not quite so colorfully this time?”

“For real!” Rainbow stomped her hoof. “Don't do that on me, girl!”

“I... I-I don't even know what I did!”

“You mean you didn't mean to go all ghosty-corn through the floorboards just now?!”

“Did I?” Twilight blinked. “Honestly, Rainbow, I-I...” She rubbed her head, gazing around the room. “...I'm not sure where I went!”

“How could you not know where you went off to?!”

“I'm serious!” Twilight gulped. “One moment, I was trying to rest... to sleep, like you told me to! It was so nice and comfortable having a friend nearby, that... that...” She blinked awkwardly. “Time just flew by.”

Rainbow's eyes were thin. “Time just flew by.”

“Don't look at me like that!” Twilight frowned. “I... went someplace.”

“Someplace? What kind of 'someplace?'”

“It's... hard to describe. It was someplace safe, secure. Dark... b-but somewhat bright at the same time.”

“Wait...” Rainbow blinked awkwardly. “Why does that sound stupidly familiar?”

“Because I've been there before. I've mentioned it.” Twilight fidgeted. “It's... it's just like the place where I was when... when...” Her features paled. “...after Discord. All this time.”

Rainbow simply gawked at her.

“But... but I feel rested now,” Twilight said, gazing curiously at the window. “Did I really sleep? Was that my way of sleeping?” She turned towards Rainbow again. “Or did I just go someplace?”

Rainbow nearly wretched. “Are you asking me?”

Knock knock knock.

Rainbow jumped. She grabbed a coat-rack from the corner of the claustrophobic room.

“Hellllooo!” Nick sing-song'd as he opened the door and softly trotted in with a levitating tray of eggs and sausage. “Good morning! Since you're our special guest here at K.M.C.A, the student body thought they might treat you to—”

The hard end of the coat-wrack came to a stop against the soft of his neck.

“—nothing!” He gulped, sweating instantly. “Nothingatall!”

“Rainbow!” Twilight frowned, phasing through Rainbow and standing beside him. “Stop being so jumpy!”

“B-but he shouldn't have knocked so hard!” Rainbow sputtered, frazzled.

“He... I... they d-didn't mean no harm, Miss Dash, honest!” Nick squeaked, eyeing the coat-rack.

“Will you stop it already, Rainbow?!” Twilight exclaimed. “Honestly! You're like my B.B.B.F.F. after his first tour of duty!”

“Look, I've seen some crud, okay?!” Rainbow barked to the side.

“Why?” Nick winced, dropping the tray altogether. “Oh dear, did crows nest in here overnight again?! I-I'll clean after them, I promise!”

“No...” Rainbow leaned back, dropping the coat-rack with a sigh. “It's okay. We're fine. I mean, I'm fine with the crap—I mean there's no crap—”

“Crows? Around here? Really?” Twilight tapped her chin. “But we're in a tropical zone—”

“Nopony cares about the damn crows, Twilight!” Rainbow hollered.

“Twilight?!” Nick blinked. “It's Nick, remember?”

“Listen...” Rainbow faced him, raised her hooves, and took a super deep breath. She finally said, “I'm... sorry for being on edge. It's just... I-I've been through a lot lately. What you're doing is totally nice and awesome, but I'm not exactly—”

“Wait... is this supposed to be breakfast?” Twilight remarked, rubbing her ghostly nose up close to the tray.

“—hungry at the moment.” Rainbow was already wincing.

“But... but...” Twilight recoiled, pointing in horror at the cooked black strip. “Is that... meat?

“Yes, Twilight,” Rainbow grumbled aside, gesturing at the tray before them. “It's sausage, actually.”

“You know what kind of flesh it is?!” Twilight grimaced. “But... b-but how could anypony eat something like—”

“Look, will you stop questioning the stallion's meat already?!”

Nick's cheeks went red. “...I beg your pardon?”

Don't... grrk...” Rainbow spat, stuttered, and finally grunted: “...listen to me, I just... need...”

Twilight was already reeling. “Fresh air...”

“Fresh air.” Rainbow droned, facing forward.

“Some ground for trotting.”

“A walk.” Rainbow sauntered forward.

“And lots and lots of books,” Twilight whimpered, phasing through the wall ahead of Rainbow. “Therapy books.”

“The nearest library.”

“Uhm...” Nick pointed awkwardly down the stairs. “...exit the first floor, go across the main campus, and enter the long three-story building. You'll recognize it.” He blinked crookedly. “But, Miss Dash, I thought you said you hated—”

Go huff a boat!”

Nick gulped, picking the tray up and scurrying off with his tail between his legs. “Yes'm! Huffing!” He slammed the door to the suite shut behind him.