//------------------------------//
// Journal 19 
// Story: The Courier's Journal 
// by RF and AG 
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I Don’t Know


I’m going to try and keep this one short. Looking back on my previous journals, it truly is amazing at how much I changed over the years. I went from an innocent courier, to a hate filled killer, and finally to a rather calm retiree. What drastic changes over the years … and it only made me wonder how much more I could possibly change. Was this the last stage in my life, or was I going to keep on morphing back and forth between serenity and anger?

Five months it has been? Yeah, five is the right number. I nearly forgot about the journal, instead just opting to spend each day in a an almost ‘like this is your last day’ type of living. Sure, I didn’t go out and do crazy things, but at least i enjoyed it. 

Now though … I’ve began to think again. Began to question stuff once more. Nothing with regards to these ponies, but more with regards to myself. Something I’ll need to think about before I can officially say I am at peace and hang up my weapons. 

I guess the melancholy has been showing though, since Luna has been hanging around me more. Gal is nice, thinking something’s wrong and coming to help. I felt bad for pushing her away a few times but honestly, I didn’t want her to catch a case of inner questioning. Shit ruins people. 

Still, wish it wasn’t now of all times that she got all cuddly. Did you know that pony fur is extremely soft? Like the best pillow you’ve ever been able to lay your head on. 

And enough of that.

I think I have a plan for what to do. It’ll take some planning, but for the most part I could execute it immediately. We’ll see. We will see.