//------------------------------// // The Wrath of Faustia part I // Story: Friendship is Magic Ad Libbed // by Powderjaggy //------------------------------// Disclaimer: I know this is only the second story, but this was one of those times where Kirensia was not in the correct state of mind to ad lib anything sane. As a result, the level of canonical plausibility in this story is about -9000 or less. We decided to make this into a two parter to see if there was anything we could salvage from this mess. You'll see how that went in the next chapter. In the meantime, please treat this as an antithesis of our usual intentions in these roleplays. By the way, I should probably warn you about the on-screen vomit in this story. While on-screen vomit has been shown in the original show, there's a lot of it here. Just a fair warning. Pinkie Pie bounded up the path to Sweet Apple Acres. "Applejack!" she called. "Applejack, do you know what day it is today?" A random pony whose name was Taffy Cluck walked down the path in the opposite direction, saying, "NOOOOOOOO." "Hm, that was strange," said Pinkie to herself. "Never seen him around before." Normally the pink pony would have started to plan a welcome party for the newcomer right away, but, unusually, there was something even more important on her mind today. Taffy Cluck spun around suddenly. "HEY," he yelled to Pinkie Pie. "I know you. You're the most annoying pony in Ponyville. You're a Cake, right?" "Oh, no." Pinkie shook her head. "The Cakes would be my employers. But does that mean I'm famous?" She paused for a second to wonder, then perked up again. "You're new around here, right? I'm on my way to prepare a party for a friend. Would you like to come as a guest too? It could be... it could be a double party!" She sped up her bouncing in excitement. "No, no," Taffy replied. "I just want to follow you." "Oh," said Pinkie Pie. "Okie dokie lokie." She continued bouncing up the path. "Applejack! You around?" Without warning, Taffy Cluck fastened a leash to Pinkie Pie. Pinkie stopped short in surprise. "Just to make sure I don't get lost," Taffy explained. "Okay!" shouted Pinkie cheerfully, resuming her bouncing. "Applejack? Applejack?" she continued to call. "Hm, maybe she's not home." "Hey, hey, when do we get to see you have a party?" yelled Taffy impatiently. "Hurry up!" "Well first I have to go and find all my other friends so we can prepare the party as a big surprise!" said Pinkie. "How many other friends do you have?" asked Taffy Cluck. "Maybe they've all abandoned you like in 'Party of One'." "It can't be my birthday again, right?" Pinkie wondered out loud. "No, it's not my birthday," she concluded with a smile. "And I know everypony in town, but I need my bestest, bestest friends to throw this surprise party for one of my other bestest, bestest friends!" "Then they can handle it on their own," said Taffy. "But I always throw the parties in Ponyville!" Pinkie protested. "Well, except for my own birthday but it's not my own birthday so..." "Your purpose is to make ponies happy, right?" Taffy asked. "It doesn't have to be parties, right?" "But parties are so much fun!" Pinkie pointed out. She turned around and headed in the direction of Fluttershy's cottage. Taffy pulled on the leash, causing Pinkie to slip in an exaggerated manner. "Hold on a sec," he said. "She's not going to be there because... she has to get her voice checked." "Oh..." Pinkie stopped walking and took out several balloons, preparing to float her way up to Rainbow Dash's house. Taffy popped all the balloons. "She's having her hair redone." "Aw..." lamented Pinkie. She trotted off in the direction of Carousel Boutique. Taffy tossed a grenade in Pinkie's path inconspicuously. "Yipes!" Pinkie leaped back in exaggerated shock as the grenade exploded. "And in case you're wondering about your friend Twilight Sparkle," added Taffy, "let's just say Smokey the Bear had some warnings to say." "A bear?" cried Pinkie frantically. "A bear?" She rushed off in the direction of the library, dragging Taffy along the ground as she went. The library was up in flames. "Oh, no," said Pinkie, the burning library reflected in her eyeballs. "Twilight?" she called. "Twilight? Are you in there?" Spike walked out of the fire. Being fireproof, he was unharmed. "I, uh, accidentally..." he started to explain. "I mean, I don't know how this happened. How will I explain this to Twilight?" "So Twilight's not in there?" asked Pinkie, brightening up again. "No," replied Spike. "She went out to get some new books." A random explosion happened in Pinkie's stomach, causing her blow up momentarily then deflate. "Whew," she said, as though nothing had happened. "Thank goodness Twilight wasn't in there! Maybe we should put this fire out?" She walked over to a hollow tree and rummaged inside for a hose. "This is my new friend, Lowjack," said Taffy, trying to introduce the others to another random pony. "Oh, hi, who's that?" said Pinkie, turning around."Two new ponies? This calls for a triple party!" "I HATE PARTIES," shouted Taffy. "There, I said it. I didn't want to have to say this, but you just wouldn't listen." "You... don't like parties?" Pinkie's smile turned upside down. "But they're so fun and, and party-ish! Would you like them if they had chocolate cake?" "No, I'd like them if THEY NEVER EXISTED!" Taffy roared. Pinkie stopped looking for a hosepipe. "I... I don't get it," she said sadly. "Everyone likes my parties..." "Well, some ponies are DIFFERENT," said Taffy bluntly. "And, no, I don't need a 'specific kind of party to cater to my needs'." "Uh, little help here?" Spike inquired, gesturing towards the still-burning library. "I wouldn't mind that much really, but I don't think Twilight is going to appreciate this." Pinkie didn't move. Taffy vomited over the fire, extinguishing it and leaving a huge yellow mess. Spike sighed and took out some cleaning supplies, hoping that he'd be able to tidy things up by the time Twilight returned. Pinkie Pie got to her feet dejectedly and took off the leash that was still attached to her. "Okie dokie lokie..." Her voice trailed off. "Goodbye..." Perking up very slightly, she added to Taffy, "I don't think I caught your name." "I never threw it," said Taffy. "Oh." Pinkie slumped down. "Goodbye, I Never Threw It." She started walking away. Spike shrugged and pulled out a hosepipe from Pinkie's hollow tree to clean off the vomit. It washed most of the mess away easily. He then took out a tiny sponge and started scrubbing. On a whim, he decided to take a lick of the vomit. "Actually... this isn't too bad," he noted. Eschewing the sponge, he began to use his long tongue to reach a wider cleaning radius. "Why so dejected?" asked a red-haired alicorn who had suddenly appeared in the clearing. "Who, me?" said Spike. "Well, this is a bigger mess than I have to tidy up usually, but it actually tastes okay." "Well, my young friends," said the alicorn. "My name is Faustia, the mighty creator." "Princess Faustia?" Spike said, wondering where he had heard that name before. "Oh, you and Pinkie Pie are old friends of mine, Spike; let's drop the formalities," said Faustia. Pinkie Pie turned around at the sound of her name and zipped back to the library in a flash. "Oooh," she said at the sight of Faustia. "Have I seen you before?" "Pinkie Pie, have we seen her before?" asked Spike, still confused. "Oh, you know me," Faustia reassured them. "The special place, beyond what you think you know... The wall..." "Ooh," said Pinkie in recognition. She stared off into the distance. "The wall?" mused Spike, squinting hard. "I think I see it." "Well, I'm here to teach you about the meaning of friendship," Faustia explained. Pinkie sat up straight. Faustia took out an eraser. "Close your eyes, Pinkie," she instructed. Pinkie closed her eyes. Faustia erased her. Spike stared. "What did you just do?" he asked. Being in the cartoon world, Pinkie rematerialized. "Whee!" she exclaimed. "That tickled! I feel much better now; now I can write a friendship letter to Princess Celestia!" She stopped for a moment. "... What should I write about?" Faustia erased her again. Pinkie just poofed back into existence once more. By this point, Spike was speechless. Pinkie giggled. "Thanks so much for visiting from beyond the fourth wall, Faustia! I really gotta go find my friends now, see you later!" She trotted off, her usual cheer restored. Faustia lunged forward and ate Pinkie. "What are you doing?" cried Spike in shock. "Why?" Pinkie crawled back out of Faustia's throat. "Uh... that was a little less pleasant, but thanks?" She tried again to trot away. Faustia mutated into a giant monster. Pinkie and Spike screamed simultaneously, then ran off. Faustia teleported in front of them. "WHERE YOU GOING!?" she shouted, her eyes pointing in different directions. She bore a malicious smile on her face, the corners of her mouth reaching the same height as her eyes. Her tongue rolled out and spit sprayed everywhere. "Ahhhhhhhh!" screamed Pinkie and Spike again. "She'll frighten the foals watching!" Pinkie cried. "She's frightening me!" yelled Spike. They continued to run. All of a sudden, Taffy Cluck jumped out of nowhere. "Stand aside, Party Pooper," he commanded, charging towards Faustia. "The Chicken Colt has arrived." A lightbulb went off in Pinkie's mind. She ducked below the borders of the television screen and came up wearing her chicken costume. "It's fun to be scared!" she declared, a big grin on her face. "Whee!" She zipped all over town, avoiding the Faustia monster. Spike had to hang onto Pinkie's tail to keep up. Pinkie saw Applejack returning to Sweet Apple Acres as she ran past. "Applejack, you remember what day it is, right?" she asked. "YEAH," Applejack answered. "It's Donald Dormouse's birthday." "No, you silly," laughed Pinkie. "It's the day we met Twilight! We must prepare a party for her by tonight! Oh, by the way, we're being chased by a huge horrifying monster!" She screamed. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU RUINED THE-" the ponies heard Faustia roar. Pinkie took off. Pinkie ran past Fluttershy's cottage. "Fluttershy, you remember what day it is?" "Oh, is it the day you started sounding like me?" asked Fluttershy. Pinkie paused. "Hmm." She shook her head. "It's the day we met Twilight! We must prepare a party for her by tonight! Oh, by the way, you might want to stay indoors. We're being chased by a huge horrifying monster!" Spike, heavily shaken up and dizzy by now, was just barely clinging on. He tried to shift his grip so he could ride on Pinkie's back, but suddenly Pinkie pulled out an odd contraption. It had balloons on it so it could float in the air, and was propelled by a pair of helicopter-like blades. Spike was jolted off back onto Pinkie's tail and the two of them flew upwards. They flew past Rainbow Dash's home. "Rainbow Dash, you remember what day it is?" called Pinkie. "It's the day we met Faustia," Rainbow Dash replied. "Uh... no, I don't think that was today," said Pinkie. "But it's the day we met Twilight! We must prepare a party for her by tonight! Oh, by the way, we're being chased by a huge horrifying monster!" She flew the contraption back down close to the ground and hovered in front of Carousel Boutique. "Rarity, you remember what day it is?" "It's the day my twin sister came to LIFE," said Rarity. "You have a twin sister?" asked Pinkie. She paused for an instant. "But it's also the day we met Twilight!" she continued. "We must prepare a party for her by tonight! Oh, by the way, we're being chased by a huge horrifying monster!" Pinkie flew to the library and saw Twilight returning to her home. "Twilight!" she called. "You- Eep!" She cut herself off. "Never mind!" She flew around behind the library so Twilight wouldn't be able to see her. Spike, meanwhile, was just conscious enough to remember that he never finished cleaning up the vomit, but was too dizzy to care. Twilight looked around as she heard Pinkie call her name, but saw nopony. Then there was an explosion. To be continued... Role distribution for this story Kirensia: Taffy Cluck, Faustia, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity Powderjaggy: Pinkie Pie, Spike, Twilight Sparkle Disclaimer: On behalf of Kirensia, the portrayal of the character Faustia is not intended to be a commentary of any sort on any real life person, organization, or event.