//------------------------------// // World Suggestions Three // Story: The Conversion Bureau: Worlds Where It Wouldn’t Work // by Sora2455 //------------------------------// The Touhou Project Okay, Macro-Plane-Shift finished, Barrier established... Xlestia finally stopped channeling magic to her horn, exhaling slowly. That was easily the most complex and draining series of spells she had ever cast, and she was understandably exhausted. Any moment now, somepony would inevitably come to demand help with the 'mysterious' relocation, only to find that she had 'collapsed' due to 'the sudden change in magical environment'. Right now, she needed to catch her breath. "Oh, wow! You cast this by yourself? I must say I am impressed. I am something of a connoisseur of Borders, after all." Slowly, Xlestia turned her head to face the voice which had just spoken. In one corner of her bedroom, the wall had been... pulled apart? To reveal a black expanse, full of disembodied eyeballs. Sitting in the rift in-between the black space and her room was some blond human with a parasol. "How did you get in here, Human?" Xlestia asked, her long-practiced calm facade covering her racing heart. "Human?!" The woman sounded offended. "My name is Yukari Yakumo, and I am no human. I'm the Gap Youkai!" Xlestia blinked, still in shock. "You're the what now?" "I maintain the Great Hakurei Barrier! Actually, our two Barriers aren't too different, only mine's getting a bit worn... can I patch it up with yours?" Yukari asked pleasantly. "What?!" Xlestia squawked. "I'll take that as a yes." Yukari smirked, before receding into her Gap, it closing behind her. Her panic rising once again, Xlestia ran out onto her balcony. In the distance, the newly-cast Barrier was still visible... until the whole thing started rolling up like a giant blanket, edges up. Xlestia gawked until the Barrier resembled a giant scroll, hovering in mid-air, before shooting off into the distance; presumably to be used as 'spare fabric' for the Gap Youkai's Barrier. Xlestia took a great shuddering breath and tried to think. No good, she was terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. This was, of course, when most of Equestria started fading out of existence. One one hoof, Xlestia had solved the mystery of why she couldn't find any magic on Earth. On the other hoof, Xlestia really wasn't enjoying finding out where all of Earth's magic had gone first-hoof. Yukari rubbed her head, annoyed with herself. "Of course you would all be sent here. No-one believes in Unicorns or in Pegasus anymore, so of course you would all end up in the Land of Fantasy. Now we have to fit you all in somewhere..." Xlestia didn't respond, her mind too busy trying to recover from events so far. The sounds of panicked unicorns and pegasi in the background weren't helping. "Oh, and I'll have to teach you about Danmaku battles, of course." As hundreds of slow-moving energy balls rained down around Xlestia, her frustration finally overwhelmed her shock at the day so far. "WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DESIGNED THIS?!" Yukari put her index finger to her lips and thought. "It was back during the Scarlet Mist Incident... ah yes! A human, I believe." "OF COURSE IT WAS!" Applejack pulled herself to her hooves, having finally found somepony else in town that wasn't hysterical at the disappearance of the Unicorns, Pegasi and buildings. Unfortunately, it was Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie with... packed saddlebags? "Oh! There you are AJ! Come on, we gotta hurry before the trail goes cold!" Applejack worked her jaw up and down before finally finding words to say. "What trail?" "The trail that we blaze!" Pinkie said, pointing directly into a huge rock. She blushed. "That trail that we blaze!" She pointed down the main road, to where the Everfree forest used to be. "Seriously Sugercube, where are we goin'?" "Isn't it obvious? We're going on an adventure! To go where every-other-pony has gone before, and bring 'em back home!" Applejack turned to look at the remains of Ponyville. Yep, still going nowhere in a hurry. "Lemme just grab my thing first, Pinkie." SCP Foundation Item #: SCP-X198 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-X198 cannot be allowed to remain conscious unless under the effects of SCP-███ under any circumstances. In the event of power failure or similar event, SCP-X198 is to be administered tranquilliser mix 87 immediately. SCP-X198 is capable of personalised spatial distortions ('Teleportation') and must at least be kept disorientated to prevent use of this ability to escape. According, all guards of SCP-X198 are to carry stun grenades. If SCP-X198 containment fails, protocol Alpha-198-Delta is to initiated immediately. SCP-X198 has been rendered medically comatose. The subject's body is to be kept in cryogenic stasis in a special containment chamber on site 3█, and is to be inspected bi-weekly. Any indication that SCP-X198 may be regaining consciousness is to be immediately and directly reported to Site Command. Description: SCP-X198 is an vaguely horse-like life-form that stands approximately 1.8 m (6 ft) tall, not including its 30 cm (1 ft) horn. It has a pure white fur coat with the stylised picture of a sun present on both of its flanks. The subject possesses a set of wings that are too small to function under aerodynamics as currently understood, yet are fully functional. Please note: the subject can fly. SCP-X198's most threatening ability is it's list (of unknown length) of reality-warping effects, which it refers to as magic. Research into relation to other 'Magical' SCPs is currently pending authorisation. To date, the subject has displayed Teleportation, Telekinesis, Force Fields, Bolts of Concussive force, and by far the most worryingly the ability to manipulate the position of [REDACTED] (hence its classification as Keter). X198 was hostile to humanity initially, but after Incident G387 (during which [DATA EXPUNGED]) X198 has become obsessed with the destruction of humanity, and will take any opportunity to kill humans. Even while its abilities were suppressed with [REDACTED] it has gored two guards with its horn and eviscerated a third with its rear hooves. Interview log A: Interviewed: SCP-X198 Interviewer: Dr ███ Dr ███: Can you understand me? SCP-X198: [Softly] You killed them all... Dr ███: You were causing a CK-class Restructuring scenario. We were only - SCP-X198: [Screaming] YOU KILLED THEM ALL! Note: at this point the subject's voice reached over 200 Decibels, killing Dr ███ with sound alone, and cracking the concrete wall behind him. Addendum X198-A: Given than X198 can cause a 'Class XK - End of World Scenario', but it's not indestructible like all the other Keter-classes, why haven't we neutralised it? - Dr Michale Addendum X198-B: Who do you think we are, the G.O.C.? All the danger inherit in X198 is in what it can do, not in what it is. It's perfectly safe to study so long as it never wakes up. - Dr Andrews Addendum X198-C: Guys, am I... the only one that feels sorry for her? I mean, we did sic SCP-████ on her people, and now she's the only one left. SCP-████! We killed all her people, of course she hates us! Doesn't anyone else think on how much we wronged her? - Dr ███████ Addendum X198-D: Dr ███████ has been removed from the study of SCP-X198 on suspicion of mental contamination. Doctor Who The Solar Courts running's were suddenly and rudely interrupted when, with a groaning and wheezing noise, a tall blue box with the label "POLICE BOX" materialized in the courtroom. As nobles, new-foals and the Sun Princess stared blankly at the unexpected intrusion, a door on the front of the box opened up allowing a brown earth stallion to exit mid-sentence. " - and Canterlot is really beautiful after the third renaissance! You should see the... throne room..." The stallion blinked as he took in his surroundings, especially the Princess and the new-foals lining up. "Uh... what year is it?" He asked sheepishly. "1003 A.N.M." One noble answered. "And in human years?" The newcomer's sheepishness was giving way to worry. "2009 A.D." A new-foal replied. "Right." The strange stallion with a hourglass cutie mark nodded, turning around to place his head back inside the door of his box. "Derpy! Grab the Royal Gift!" "You know full well that's not my name, Professor! And which Royal Gift?" Came the voice of a mare from inside the box; which made no sense given there wasn't enough room for two ponies in there. "The stunning one!" He emphasized. The stallion whirled around to find that Xlestia had taken the opportunity to get off her throne and trot down to the strange box. "Who are you?" The princess demanded. "Are you a new-foal?" The stallion grimaced at the mention of new-foals, but bowed. "Your Highness, my name is the Doctor. And no, I'm not a new-foal. In fact, I'm not a pony at all, really. I'm just doing something very clever that makes everyone think I'm a pony, that's all." Xlestia ran the anti-Changeling spell over the 'Doctor'. He came up clean. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You're from the outside? How did you get in here? There's no magic in the outside world!" The Doctor fidgeted, clearly delaying for his companion inside his box. "Sorry about that. That was us, actually." Xlestia blinked. "What was who?" "Us. The Time Lords. We got rid of Magic and replaced it with Science. Not sure why. Nobody can tell the difference half the time anyway, Clarke's Third Law and all that..." The courtroom sat in a stunned silence for a moment, before the Doctor muttered "What is taking that girl so long?" "Here you are, Professor!" A pegasus mare with light blue fur emerged from the box, carrying a grey sphere in her hooves. "Thanks." The Doctor took the sphere gingerly and presented it to Xlestia. "My gift to you, Princess, in celebration of one of Equestria's darkest hours." Xlestia, who had been reaching out for the sphere, jerked her hoof back. "Say what?" "This business with the Barrier and the new-foals." The Doctor clarified. "After all, Equestria will remember this as one of its most shameful periods! The nation of harmony annexing another planet for not meeting their standards! Dark times indeed." He was still smiling, but nopony present actually thought for a moment that he was happy. Xlestia took a step back. "Humanity is a dark - " "Yes, yes." The Doctor interrupted. "Humans can be terrible monsters. Trust me, I know better than anyone alive." He took a step forwards, causing Xlestia to back up another step. His fake smile was gone. "I've seen the fields in Africa where the workers starve to death working in the rice fields. I talked to those who had been convinced their life meant nothing because their skin was black. I was there in the Death Camps when the orders were given." He tilted his head to one side. "And you know what? You can't let that define them. Doing bad works doesn't mean they can no longer do good. You can't judge a civilization by how they act at their worse." The Doctor gave a sad smile. "Otherwise ponies would leave a sad legacy behind them, don't you think?" Xlestia spluttered. "Who are you, to judge us so?" "I'm a Time Traveler. If there was a defining moment in history, chances are I've been there already." The Doctor explained. "I'm the one who directed Nightmare Moon to confront you, not the nearest town. I stopped Sombra's attempts to turn Crystal Ponies into actual crystals." He winked at her. "I even spent a few years pretending to be a unicorn so I could teach you basic psionic control. Boy, did that beard itch." Jaws dropped all over the throne room. The Doctor's companion trotted to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with him. "And it's because I know you so well, that I've decided I'm going to save you." The Doctor announced. "This era of darkness and pain is going to end today." Xlestia, supremely confused at the situation, finally found some statement that she could have a clear reaction to. "No, it isn't." "Yes, it is. Catch!" Xlestia had figured out halfway though his speech that the Doctor's present was probably booby trapped. Therefore she caught it with her magic, not her hooves. Thus she was very surprised when the sphere emitted a red glow that spread back down her magical grip and into her horn, giving her an instant migraine. She roared in surprise and agony. "RUN!" The Doctor yelled, his companion and he putting action to words as they charged out the doors. "AFTER THEM!" Xlestia managed though her pain, the royal guards already moving. "What was that, Professor?" "Psionic jammer. Unpleasant for psychics, downright painful for spellcasters. And call me Doctor!" "I will when you stop calling me 'Derpy'!" The pegasus told the disguised Time Lord. "Fine! Plan, plan, need a plan..." "There they are! GET THEM!" Two royal guards appeared at the end of the hall, causing the pair of troublemakers to wheel around and run the other way. "Better figure it out quick, Professor!" 'Derpy' pointed out. "Right!" The Doctor yelled as they dashed down a side corridor. "Biggest problem is the Barrier. Spreads out from this castle, moves through the world converting 'Earth' into 'Equestria'. We just need to... got it!" "Yeah?" Derpy asked distractedly as she kept one eye looking behind them and one eye focused on where they were going. "It moves through the world! It has real effects on the world, but it itself is intangible! But the Earth is moving through space at high speed, so the Barrier needs to be anchored somehow or it'll get left behind!" Derpy blinked in sudden realization. "So we find whats holding the Barrier here - " " - and destroy it!" The Doctor cried. "They headed this way!" "Don't let them escape!" "First though, more running." The Doctor admitted. Ranma 1/2 Ranma blinked rapidly. "Let me get this straight. You guys decided that beating up this Princess lady will fix this end of the world stuff?" "Doesn't it always?" Ryoga countered. Ranma raised a finger to argue, then slowly lowered it. The cursed martial artist couldn't think of a situation where beating someone up wouldn't help. ...which explained a lot about why his love life was a complete mess. "Don't you need to be a pony to even get into her kingdom in the first place?" He asked. Mousse reached into his huge sleeves and produced a bottle of water, labeled in Chinese, and slammed it down on the table. Ranma instinctively backed up. "That better not be what I think it is." "Come on Ranma old-pal old-buddy." Ryoga grinned, showing his incisors. "Don't you know how hard it was to get actual Spring of Drowned Pony water?" Ranma scooted round the table until he was between his two rivals, grabbing their shoulders as comrades often do. "Oh wow! You guys really went the extra mile here, getting genuine cursed water all the way from Jusenkyo!" With all his strength, Ranma shoved Ryoga and Mousse's faces at the bottle of cursed water. "Why don't you enjoy the fruits of your own labor!" The two boys, being martial artists as well, both interposed their arms in-between their face and the table, preventing the collision. "Come on, Wild Horse. Surely turning into a Pony can't be any less manly then turning into a girl?" "Yes it is!" "Hoocha!" Came the cry of a small, gnome-like figure as it swiped the bottle so quickly it looked like a blur. Just as quickly as it arrived, it was gone, only malevolent cackling left to mark its passage. The three boys blinked, processing what had just happened. "Quick, we have to stop him!" "He's headed for the barrier right now! We won't catch him in time!" "Don't say that! How could we call ourselves Men if we lose track of that monster?!" Xlestia basked in the warmth of the noonday sun. She was affording herself some relaxation time, listening to the terrified screams of the new-foals entering Canterlot. Wait, that didn't sound right... Alarmed, Xlestia looked down upon the lines of new-foals getting assigned residency across Equestria. A small blur was whizzing back and forth across the lines causing panic wherever it went. Concentrating, Xlestia telekinetically grabbed the little menace, bringing it up to her muzzle. "And what are you supposed to be?" Up close, Xlestia could see that the 'thing' was actually a pony, so aged and shriveled that it was the size of a foal. Given that Xlestia had never seen this pony before, combined with his age, meant he was a new-foal for certain."How dare you manhandle me!" The ancient pony screeched. "Don't you have any respect for your elders? I'm over 300 years old, I'll have you know!" "Humans can get that old?" Xlestia was so taken aback that she dropped the old pony. "Hoocha!" Xlestia froze as tiny hooves grabbed areas that the Solar Alicorn shouldn't even have been thinking about unless she was planning on becoming a mother. "Happosai! Have you no shame at all?! That woman isn't even human! Have you moved on to animals now?!" Xlestia was vaguely aware of three ponies joining her on her balcony, but all her mind could process were sensations that she had never felt before. A slightly more familiar sensation was building in her gut. What was it? ...the urge to kill? "Ack! You three followed me?! You cursed yourselves just to deny an old man his dying pleasures?!" Said the outraged object of her hatred. "Well, being a pony is better than being a pig..." Mumbled one of the newcomers. "You're only saying that because you're a male pony, P-Chan." Deadpanned his mare companion. "Happosai! As a member of the Chinese Amazons, I won't let you spread your perversions even further afield!" Threatened the unicorn of the trio, brandishing a broadsword in his magical grip. "You boys need to move with the times! Soon, all the girls will have four legs. I'm just starting early!" Happosai pulled his hand back suddenly as Xlestia's fur suddenly became superheated. "DIE!" The Princess roared, solar fire coating her in a massive aura of heat and death. Happosai wisely began to leg it. The three cursed ponies watched as the Solar Alicorn of Equestria chased after the Greatest Evil in all Japan. "Wasn't that the lady you guys wanted me to beat up?" Ranma the red pegasus mare asked, flapping about a pony-length above the ground. "Ughhh...." Ryoga the yellow earth pony stallion articulated. "Lets give her some time." Mousse the white glasses-wearing unicorn suggested. "We can fight her when she's not apocalyptically mad." "YOU DO NOT TREAT A GIRL LIKE THAT!" Boomed the Royal Canterlot Voice. "Meh. Your teats were tiny anyway." Pillars of fire rained down from the sky as Xlestia screamed in rage.