//------------------------------// // VII: Assembly Line // Story: Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut // by Hooves Like Jagger //------------------------------// Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut Author: HoovesLikeJagger Chapter VII ____________________ Applejack looked at her surroundings. There was a multitude of large, black silhouettes standing all around her. She didn't know where she was. She had never been here before. It was dark, featureless, and looked like it went on forever. She looked at the figures around her. The shadows looked somewhat like ponies to her. "What's goin' on? Where am I?" she asked the nearest one. The head moved, as if to look at her. "You're in your bed at home. You are asleep. We are all asleep," a phantasmal voice boomed. "So... all I gotta do is wake up and leave?" Applejack questioned. She wasn't too keen on staying here. "If you want. You could stay with us and dream," the voice offered. "You can have all you desire when you sleep. The waking world is full of only disappointment." "I reckon ya'll have never even tried to achieve somethin' in yer lives. Gettin' what ya want yerself is a whole lot more satisfyin' than jus' gettin' it. Why don't ya'll just wake up an' try that?" Applejack found herself getting snippy with a figure in her dream. It struck her as odd. "Perhaps... but for now you have to wake up Applejack," the phantasmal voice began sounding very familiar. "Wake up Applejack... Wake up Applejack!" the voice sounded eerily similar to Rainbow Dash. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Applejack's eyes flew open as a tremor rocked her whole body. She was face to face with a pair of magenta eyes as her pegasus friend shook her violently. "Rainbow Dash! What in tarnation is goin' on?" Applejack shoved the airborne mare, causing the tremors to cease. Rainbow Dash turned about and landed beside the bed. "You've gotta hide me Applejack! He'll never come here!" she pleaded, taking a cautious look out Applejack's window. "Who'll never come here? Rainbow Dash, what's got yer feathers ruffled?" "Okay, okay! I'll explain it, but just promise you'll help me!" Rainbow Dash got down on the floor and bowed her head. Applejack knew something big must be up if Rainbow Dash would prostrate herself to ask for help. Applejack reclined in her bed, ready for a long story. ___________________ Earlier That Morning Somepony was knocking at Rainbow Dash's front door. Actually, it sounded more like someone was pounding the door as hard as they could. A completely excusable act since the owner of this particular home over the plains was not easily stirred. Rainbow Dash sat up, her eyes listless and unfocused. She yawned, scratched her pits, and started lazily flapping her wings. She began to drag her sleepy body across her house to the door. She was far too tired to think about who it could be or what time it was. Such things were not important. She merely wanted the noise to cease. The sleepy Rainbow Dash was a very single minded creature. She unlocked the door, muttered something intelligible, and pushed it open. She was fully awake in less than half a second due to her heart trying to break free of her ribcage at the sight of two magenta eyes staring back into hers. "Rainbow," she was greeted by a tall, built pegasus stallion the color of freshly plowed dirt. His jet black mane was tidily swept back and his well-groomed facial hair covered his entire visage. He wore a black suit with white pinstripes and a red tie. Three black arrows were emblazoned on his flank. "D...d...dad?" what Rainbow Dash's father was doing on her doorstep so early in the morning was beyond her, but an appearance by him wasn't welcome at any time in Rainbow Dash's mind. "Are you going to invite us in?" he asked dryly. Rainbow dash didn't flatter him with a response. She just furrowed her brow and made the universal "Come on in!" gesture with one hoof. Her father wordlessly took to his brown wings and flew inside, revealing the other pony at Rainbow Dash's door. "Hey mom." Rainbow Dash warmly embraced what could have easily been her double. Anypony who wanted to know what Rainbow Dash was going to look like when she got older would just need to take a look at her mother, and then promptly propose. The only difference was Rainbow Dash's mother kept herself a little better, her multicolored mane falling delicately in curls about her face, framing her golden eyes. She was thinner, more fragile looking than Rainbow Dash, who was significantly more athletic. Her mother took to her own wings and glided in, taking a seat near Rainbow's father, who was busy inspecting the place. He continued doing so, in silence, as Rainbow Dash plopped down on her couch. She eyed him with disdain. She knew he was preparing to pass judgement upon her house, literally. "Your house is very nice Rainbow..." "Yeah, yeah, complain all you... what?" Rainbow Dash squinted at her father. His face was unreadable as always, but he hadn't sounded sarcastic. He didn't even sound like he was trying to make a joke. "You seem to be taking care of yourself well." Her father faced her as he said this. He looked her dead in the eye, driving his honesty home. Rainbow Dash's face involuntarily contorted into a look of confusion. "Thanks?" She felt something was wrong. She felt something was terribly wrong. "Are you still practicing your flying?" her father asked. Now Rainbow Dash knew something was up. "Since when do you care about that?" she tried to call him on his bluff. His eyes remained deadlocked on hers. "I care. Are you still trying to get into the Wonderbolts? How are things going with that?" Rainbow Dash knew there was no way this stallion could be her father. Her father was always telling her to keep her things in better shape. Her father was always telling her to take better care of herself. Her father always told her to stop practicing stunt flying. On top of it all, Rainbow Dash's father hated, abhorred, scorned, cursed, loathed, detested, despised, disliked, reviled, the very idea of his daughter being in the Wonderbolts. This wasn't Rainbow Dash's father. There was no way this stallion could be. __________________ "And so I booked it out of there and came here!" Rainbow Dash concluded her tale. "You just up an' left 'em?" Rainbow Dash nodded wildly in response. Applejack could hardly believe it. This was the first time she'd heard anything about Rainbow Dash's parents. When she asked about them, Rainbow Dash had always dismissed the subject. Applejack had even gone so far as to ask Fluttershy, but she didn't know a thing either. She had figured that Rainbow Dash wasn't on the greatest terms with them, but the story she had just heard was simply ridiculous. "Rainbow Dash, go home," Applejack groaned. "I can't! Just let me stay here for like, one week! C'mon Lugnut, vouch for me here!" Rainbow Dash pleaded with Lugnut, who Applejack noticed standing on the other side of her bed. "Lugnut?! When did you git here? Why're you here?" Applejack barked. "I've been here the whole time," Big Lugnut explained, "And I came because he was looking for Rainbow Dash." "Who?" Applejack noticed there was another figure in her doorway. "Hello Ms. Applejack. I'm here for my daughter." It was Rainbow Dash's father. "Dad?! When did you get here?!" Rainbow Dash backed herself into corner, as if her father was some breed of ravenous beast. "Ironically, when you got to the part of the story when I walked in," he explained. "Your mother told me to go after you." Applejack promptly got out of her bed. It was rude to lay down while her guest had to stand. "Howdy there Mr..." Applejack extended a hoof. "Mr. Dash, Mr. Arrow Dash." He took Applejack's hoof and shook it. "I reckon you met Big Lugnut over here," Applejack gestured to her mechanical companion. Arrow nodded, not appearing to be bothered by the fact that Big Lugnut wasn't like everypony else. Then again, Applejack noticed his face didn't appear to say much of anything. "It's nice to officially meet you," Big Lugnut chuckled. Arrow nodded. Applejack was starting to wonder if this stallion was really Rainbow Dash's father. They really weren't anything alike. Rainbow Dash was flamboyant, expressive, headstrong, and colorful. Arrow Dash seemed stoic, stiff, wise, and bland. They bore one resemblance though: they had the same eyes. Of course, it took more than eye color to make someone your relative. "Rainbow, we should go back to your house. Your mother is waiting. We come bearing news," he explained. Rainbow Dash exited her corner and leered at her father. A lesser pony would have backed off, but Arrow didn't even flinch. Applejack considered that Arrow was also headstrong, just a different kind of headstrong. "What news would that be?" Rainbow Dash inquired. "Your mother is pregnant," Arrow stated, as if he was talking to somepony other than the sister of his future child about the mother of his future child. Rainbow Dash's peeved expression dropped away instantly. She didn't say anything, but she flew out the window after merely a moment of processing the information. "Well, I'm sorry to bother both of you. Perhaps I will see you at a different time," the Dash patriarch apologized. With those words, Arrow Dash extended his wings and took off like a rocket after his daughter. Applejack felt like she was too quick to judge the stallion; the more and more she saw of him, the more and more he was looking like Rainbow Dash's father. "I guess this means Rainbow Dash is gonna be a big sister, don't it Lugnut?" Applejack smiled. "I don't know about that, but I hope her mom is gonna be okay." Lugnut raised a worried hoof to where his mouth would be. Applejack hadn't decided if the black segment that made up his lower jaw was supposed to be teeth or a beard. "Whaddya mean, 'is she gonna be okay'? She's only pregnant." "Oh... so pregnant is a good thing?" Applejack brought a hoof to her forehead. She had forgot that there are many things out there Big Lugnut didn't know about. "When a mare is pregnant it means they're gonna have a baby," she explained. "How about when a stallion gets pregnant?" "Stallions don't get pregnant Big Lug," Applejack chuckled. He was just like a- An ominous feeling crept into Applejack's soul as she realized what question was next. "How does someone get pregnant?" Big Lugnut asked the question only most innocent of beings could. "Lugnut... how's about we talk 'bout this some other time?" she offered. Big Lugnut cocked his head. "Okay... when? I really want to know." "How's about I explain it to you when yer a hun'erd percent pony?" _________________ After safely delivering the CMC to school, Big Lugnut was left to his own devices. He had begged Applejack to explain pregnancy the rest of the morning, but she was unyielding. He asked Applebloom, but she was just as clueless as he was. Scootaloo was no more help than Applebloom was. Sweetie Belle said she had pursued the topic several times with her parents and Rarity, but they always told her they'd explain it when she was older. Big Lugnut wondered if there was a connection between being older and the knowledge of pregnancy. Big Lugnut broke from that train of thought when he saw a certain brown pegasus wandering aimlessly about the town square. Arrow looked composed as he had this morning, but his measured paces and drifting eyes betrayed the fact that he didn't know where he was. "Hello Mr. Dash!" Big Lugnut approached him, trying to be friendly. Arrow looked up, noting Lugnut with a nod. "Are you lost?" "I'm not lost so much as I am without a destination. Rainbow kicked me out of her home until later," he explained. "You're new to Ponyville?" Lugnut asked. Arrow nodded. Lugnut wasn't exactly an expert on Ponyville's layout yet, but in the few days he'd been here he'd figured out some of the more major places around town. "I'm not much of a tour guide, but if there's something you're looking for I might be able to help you find it," Lugnut offered. Arrow suddenly cracked a small smile, with a surprising amount of ease. Lugnut had thought for a while that he might be a robot too. "To be honest," he chuckled, "ever since I started wandering around I can't escape the smell of pastries. Do know a good place to satisfy a sweet tooth?" Lugnut had to think for a moment. He had no first-hand experience that would aid him in suggesting somewhere to buy pastries. He did have one nugget of information. "I could take you to Sugarcube Corner," he suggested. Lugnut remembered Applejack pointing out the building Pinkie Pie lived in, mentioning that it was also a bakery. If Pinkie Pie, the apparent queen of parties, liked their food enough to live there, it was probably a good spread. "That sounds good." Arrow nodded, his half smile remaining on his face. The two began walking towards where Lugnut believed Sugarcube Corner to be. Applejack had pointed out on their way to lunch, which was just beyond the square, meaning Sugarcube Corner would appear if he walked towards the marketplace. He remembered there being a sign out front, so as long as Arrow didn't challenge him to a race, he wasn't going to get lost. "So tell me Mr. Lugnut," Arrow spoke up, "How does a piece of machinery like yourself end up in Ponyville?" Lugnut sensed that the question wasn't hinting at anything other than Arrow's idle curiosity. "I was stolen by two vengeful traveling salesmen in order to exact revenge on Sweet Apple Acres. The Apples were kind enough to let me stay with them as long as I pulled my own weight," Lugnut recounted his story. "Must be a lot of weight to pull," Arrow joked. Lugnut didn't know he had it in him. Arrow seemed a whole lot more relaxed than he was at Applejack's. "So, what exactly brings you to Ponyville?" Lugnut returned Arrow's question. His face straightened out a little as he pondered his answer. "Me and my wife are expecting a child now. It seems more intuitive to stay home at a time like this, but my wife insisted we come to Ponyville for the birth," he explained. "It's still a ways off, but my wife insisted Rainbow Dash be around for it. I was opposed to it at first..." "Does that have anything to do with the fact that you and Rainbow Dash don't see eye to eye?" Arrow nodded in response. Big Lugnut knew enough about the relationship between both of them to realize it was bumpy. "I won't bore you with the history behind it, but since I found out my wife was pregnant three months ago I've been doing a bit of soul searching. I came to the decision that I had to repair my relationship with the child I already have before I can have a healthy relationship with my new one. We weren't always at each other's throats. If I can figure out why we drifted apart, I could be a better father to both of them. Does that make sense?" Lugnut sensed Arrow seeking confirmation for his actions. "It makes sense to me," was his honest reply. The closest ponies he had to siblings were dead and his technical parents probably were as well. That was Lugnut's can of worms, though, and there was no need to open that up on Arrow. He was relieved to find he hadn't passed Sugarcube Corner. As the two walked in, Arrow was instantly greeted by the smell of freshly baked goods. Lugnut couldn't smell, so the first thing he was greeted with was the only thing that could rival the speed of a smell. "Hiya!" Pinkie burst into sight. "What're you doing here Luggy? Do you mind if I call you that? Anyway, I thought robots didn't eat! I guess if you're here though that means that they can eat!" "Actually, I can't. I was just bringing him here," Big Lugnut gestured to Arrow, who extended his hoof. "Mr. Dash, Mr. Arrow Dash," he introduced himself. Pinkie's smile extended to an astronomical size. "Ohmygosh you must be Dashie's father! I'm Pinkie, Pinkie Pie! Can I just say that I can totally see the resemblance! The wings and the eyes are like, exactly the same! Dashie never told me anything about you, but now that I meet you I can tell you're family! I have an eye for this thing, I think it's because no one ever sees the similarities between my parents and me. I just pick up on the subtleties better! Or maybe it's just because I know everypony here in Ponyville and I know who looks like who or what, you know? So what brings you Ponyville anyway?" Pinkie bounced in place, making her obvious excitement even more obvious. Arrow had to take a moment to collect his own thoughts after Pinkie dump all of hers onto him. "My wife and I are expecting a child." Just when Arrow and Lugnut thought Pinkie Pie's smile couldn't get bigger, it did. "CONGRATULATIONS! Ohmygosh I just love little foals! So this means Dashie is going to be a big sister! I have sisters of my own so I know how much fun it can be! This is so exciting! Oh! You have to tell me all about when Dashie was a foal!" Pinkie Pie smiled expectantly at Arrow Dash. "I'd would be glad to, but," Pinkie's expression deflated for a second. "I might need some of that chocolate cake to jog my memory." Arrow eyed the cake with the intent to kill. Pinkie squealed in excitement before bounding off to get him a slice of cake as big as her enthusiasm. __________________ "Twilight!" Twilight suddenly found herself in the presence of Rainbow Dash, who had somehow entered the library without making a single noise. Twilight noted that the pegasus looked like she was in very good spirits. "Twilight!" Dash didn't wait for a response. "Do you have any books about pregnancy and foal raising?" "Yes! The ones for Pregnancy are under 'P' and the ones about childcare are under 'C'." Twilight did not bother with the Hooey Decimal System. It then registered with Twilight what her friend had just asked. "Why do you need books like that?" "I've gotta know everything there is to know so I can be ready!" Rainbow Dash scurried over to where the pregnancy books were, Twilight trailing behind her. "Ready for what Rainbow Dash?" Rainbow Dash stopped and looked back at Twilight, her eyes indicating the answer should be obvious. "For... for giving birth?" "See, you're not an egghead for nothing!" Rainbow laughed, as she began to look through the books on the shelf before her. Twilight's eyes were wide. "R-rainbow Dash! How... how long until it arrives?" Twilight panicked. "The doctor said about six months apparently. I've got to study up because there's a certain stallion I am not going to let screw things up. The only pony who's can help this foal grow up right is me," Rainbow Dash grunted. Twilight's mind very nearly shut down momentarily. "What? Rainbow Dash! You're going to need help with this!" Twilight reasoned with her friend. Rainbow Dash turned around and looked into Twilight's eyes. Dash looked very serious about all this. "No way. I don't want his help! My life is a mess because of him, but I'm not letting him mess up the life of this foal!" she stated triumphantly. "Well... if you don't want his help, at least accept my help and the help of your friends," Twilight pleaded. "Twilight," Rainbow Dash's expression softened a little. She glided over to Twilight and put a hoof around her, "I know you guys will be there to help me. Heck, if you, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, or Fluttershy were in the same position, I'd give you my full support." "Thank you Rainbow Dash," Twilight smiled. "You have my full support as well. I know everything will work out fine." "Thanks Twilight," she released her friend and flew back to the bookshelf, "I've got a new role to assume and I plan on doing a trademarked Rainbow Dash job of it!" Rainbow Dash flew back to the bookshelf. She picked a book off the shelf and started to leaf through it. Twilight shuffled awkwardly. She didn't know what to do. Her friendship lessons thus far hadn't prepared her for something like this. "Hey, Twilight?" Rainbow glided over to the other side of the library to search some more literature. "Yes?" Twilight was eager to help in anyway she could. "Do you think the kid'll like me? You know, as a-" "Rainbow Dash." Twilight put her hoof down. "You've got to have more confidence in yourself! The foal is lucky to have you! You're willing to go so far for it, so I don't know how it could grow up and hate somepony who's willing to go so far!" Rainbow Dash looked shocked for a moment. Slowly, she smiled warmly. She swooped down and embraced her friend roughly. Twilight returned the gesture with a couple of pats on the back. "Thanks Twilight," she whispered. "I think talking with you has been more help to me than any of these books could be." "Nonsense," Twilight chuckled as she parted from her friend and headed over to the shelves herself. She extended her magic to cause some of the books to float off the shelf wrapped in her violet aura. "I can offer moral support, but there is a lot of information in books you'll need to know as well. There might be some classes around Ponyville that could help too." "Hey!" Rainbow Dash brightened up, "That's a great idea! You're on top of this Twilight." "I haven't studied too much about it, and the little I know just comes from indirect contact with the information. I've never actually helped anypony with this before," Twilight admitted. She was the baby of her family, so she'd never been around for a birth. She wondered if Shining Armor could impart some knowledge on her. "Applejack and Rarity would probably know more than I do," Twilight pointed out. "They have younger siblings. Have you told anypony else?" "Applejack was there when I found out," Rainbow Dash noted, flipping through a book Twilight gave her. Twilight was glad Rainbow Dash wasn't alone when she got the news. It had to be scary going to the hospital alone to for something like that. "Where's Applejack now?" Twilight asked. "I don't know, last I saw she was at home with Big Lugnut," Rainbow Dash recalled. Twilight nodded. Applejack did already have her own worries. "After I got the news I rushed back home. That no good idiot showed up right when I got there though. I told him, 'Hey, how about some girl time?' and booted him out." "It doesn't sound like you two get along very well," Twilight noted. "We don't." Rainbow Dash forced the book she was holding closed, producing a satisfying thump. "I imagine you two should be... closer." Twilight had her own ideals when it came to romance, but she hadn't bothered to ask Rainbow Dash. For the sound and look of things though, they were worlds apart. "We were... at first. He used to be fun, cool, awesome... but then he turned into this lame control freak! And then in the light of recent events he shows up and tries to act like everything is okay! It wasn't him talking though, it was somepony else! It might sound weird, but I'd rather hate him for being honest than like him for being a liar," Rainbow Dash snorted. "I think that's very mature of you Rainbow Dash, but the foal needs its father. If you patch up your relationship with him, it'll make this whole thing a lot easier." Rainbow Dash couldn't get around Twilight's logic, but she didn't like the idea of trying to bond with her father. "I think we're better off if we agree to disagree," she sighed. Twilight wouldn't have it though. "You have to try Rainbow Dash. In fact, we should go find him right now! He should be a part of this process." Twilight levitated her saddle-bag onto her back, filling it with some of the books she had picked out for Rainbow Dash. "No, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash intercepted her on the way to the door, "We're not turning this into a friendship lesson for the Princess!" "Rainbow Dash, this isn't about that. It's about doing what's best. Now tell me, who's the father?" Twilight demanded, ready to tackle this issue. If it was for the sake of her friend, she would confront anypony. Rainbow Dash put on a quizzical look. "Uh... my dad..." ___________________ There was a knock at Zecora's door. "Gibson, could you answer that please? I am busy hanging by my knees," Zecora yelled to Gibson, who was tuning his trusty acoustic in another room. He walked into the main room of the hut, where Zecora was hanging upside down by a rod on the ceiling. He had spent enough time with Zebras during his time abroad that the ritual didn't strike him as odd. He had done the same thing once or twice while in Zecora's homeland. He wandered up to the door and opened it. "Hello again!" a familiar white unicorn greeted him as soon as he opened the door. For some reason Rarity looked happy to see him. Considering how things ended last time, Gibson was reasonably surprised and confused. "I have someone who's just dying to meet you!" Rarity pushed Fluttershy into the doorway. "H...hello." She ducked back behind Rarity. "Is that Fluttershy and Rarity? Are they here to see you or me?" Zecora asked Gibson. He didn't answer, or rather he couldn't answer. Rarity had already dragged him outside and shut the door. "Come with us Gibson, we're going to Ponyville for a spell." Rarity dragged Gibson along, Fluttershy traveling quietly behind the two of them. Rarity had Gibson's guitar strap around her hoof, a weak spot for him. His only option was to keep pace with Rarity to prevent any damage to his guitar. The other side effect was he couldn't protest. Part of him really, really, really wanted to go along with this. He knew he should be resisting, but it wasn't in him right now. He soon found himself in Ponyville, and he instantly wished he'd stayed in the forest. Rarity and Fluttershy took note of how many ponies were staring at them, or more specifically at Gibson. Mares and stallions alike had stopped what they were doing when the three of them had stepped into town. Rarity and Fluttershy wondered why, but their curiosity was quenched rather quickly. "IT'S GIBSON SONG!" The next thing the three knew, they were running from an excited mob. "Are you a celebrity or something?" Rarity asked. Gibson shot her a look that roughly communicated "You think?". The mob was starting to gain on them, their excited shrieks escalating. "Fluttershy! If we can... Fluttershy?" Fluttershy had already flown off. Rarity remembered from previous adventures that she very much disliked being chased by large crowds. Kindness was good and all, but at the moment there was something to be said about Loyalty. "Quick, in here!" Rarity grabbed Gibson and dragged him into a familiar building. _________________ "And she went around like that for the entire day!" Arrow was doubling over in tears and laughter. Pinkie Pie was the same way, and Big Lugnut would be too if he could shed tears. Not surprisingly, turns out Rainbow Dash was a troublesome little tyke. More surprisingly, Arrow Dash wasn't as uptight as he originally appeared. Two slices of chocolate cake later, he was talking up a storm and cracking jokes left and right. The door to Sugarcube Corner suddenly flew open then slammed closed. Gibson stood catching his breath while Rarity barred the door, which was suddenly assailed by what sounded like a stampede. Rarity looked around, quickly spotting Big Lugnut. "Big Lugnut, could you be a dear and hold the door?" she asked. "I guess." Big Lugnut wandered over and stood in front of the door. Rarity stepped away as he put one hoof against it. He slammed the door against the raging crowd and held it there. Rarity went around closing the blinds. Lugnut turned to Gibson. "Uh... what's going on Gibson?" "Yes," Arrow broke in. "What is going on Gibson?" Gibson's expression turned into terror when he saw Arrow. He smiled, sheepishly. "You know him?" Rarity asked the stallion she'd never seen. Arrow nodded. "I'm his producer, I have been for a long time," Arrow explained. "So... he is a celebrity?" Rarity asked. Arrow sighed. "Neither Gibson or I really like the screaming crowds that fame comes with, so we prefer to fly under the radar of complete stardom." Arrow glanced at the banging door. "I guess you can only fly under the radar for so long. Speaking of which, where have you been for the past month Gibson?" Gibson smiled sheepishly again, unable to respond and unable to explain his situation. "Uh, Mr. Dash," Lugnut spoke up, still holding the door with hardly any effort, "It's a bit of a tale. If you think you can get rid of this crowd, I'd be glad to tell you what happened." Arrow didn't hesitate to accept the offer, nodding and turning to the others in the shop. "Miss Pie, take this unicorn and Gibson somewhere they can hide for now. I'll have Lugnut get you when the coast is clear." Arrow marched up to the door as Pinkie grabbed Gibson and Rarity to drag them upstairs with her. Arrow looked up at Lugnut. "I would love show business so much more if it weren't for the fans, rabid or otherwise..."