Deep in Space, yet another blue gem fell towards Earth...
"Trixie doesn't like walking to school. It makes Trixie's legs tired." Trixie walked to school on a fine Friday morning. The birds were chirping, the grass was green, and a gigantic ball of light blue fire was hurtling towards Trixie's inflated head.
"Trixie wonders what's for lunch todaaaaAAAAAAGH!" Trixie turned tail and ran as fast as she could, trying to escape the meteor. Unfortunately, she tripped over a loose branch, and the ball of searing hot death hit her right in the--
"Plot hole." Cheerilee pointed to the board. "Who can explain what it is and how it relates to writing?"
"Trixie can," said Trixie. "An example is when Trixie got hit in the bum with Space. Nobody wrote down what happened between then and now. That's a plot hole."
"Very good, Trixie."
Trixie spent the rest of the day rubbing her sore plot and bragging to anyone who'd listen about how she survived being hit with a meteor.
"Sunset Shimmer already did that," they'd say. "And she's way more popular than you'll ever be, Trix."
"Trixie doesn't care!" shouted Trixie as another bored student walked away. "Why isn't Trixie interesting? Trixie finds Trixie interesting..."
"Perhaps you'll find this interesting!!" A muffin the size of a large cake flew out of nowhere and hit Trixie in the face.
"Hey! Trixie's Great and Powerful Nose! That hurt!"
"Kya-ha-ha! And there's more where that came from!" With a flash of lightning, a cloaked figure appeared in the hallway. She was wearing a torn paper bag for a cape, had eyes that refused to work together, and had a bazooka loaded with muffins strapped to her back. "I am Derp Vader and I've decided to take over CHS!"
"Derp Vader?" asked Trixie. "But there aren't any muffin launchers in Star--"
"Silence!" shouted Derp. "You stand between me and total muffin domination! Therefore, I shall eradicate you once and for all!"
"I was just on my way to buy peanut butter crackers!" shouted Trixie, who was so shocked that she spoke in the first person.
"I don't care!" replied Derp Vader. "My reign of doughy, bready terror begins with your defeat!" She raised her muffin cannon and aimed it at Trixie. "Taste my C3 Muffin!"
Suddenly, a strange burst of power surged through Trixie, and Derp was blasted backwards as Trixie stood up, cloaked in bright blue light.
"I can't let you do that, Derp!" she shouted. "Moeru-Ikari! Transform!"
A blinding flash of blue light encompassed Trixie, who floated a few feet into the air. Electricity crackled around her as her body was swallowed by a ribbon of light, only for her to emerge again dressed in a bright blue leopard leotard and starry cape. In her hand was a three-foot-long staff of power, topped with a magnificent jewel in the shape of a crescent moon.
She landed with a force that shattered the floor tiles, but stepped forwards with a grace that could only be matched by the most delicate of butterflies.
"You've met your match, Derp Vader! I am Moeru-Ikari Trixesu, and Sunset was right. It is hard to come up with a catchphrase on the spot."
"No matter!" replied Derp. "I still have the upper hand!" She fired the C3 Muffin at Trixie, who only narrowly dodged it. The wall behind her wasn't so lucky; the C3 was so loaded with butter and calories that it crashed through a foot of cement and out through the other side of the school.
"Trixesu won't be defeated by muffins!" shouted Trixie. "Peanut butter crackers! To me!" The lighting flickered, and hundreds of packets of peanut butter crackers flew out of nowhere and surrounded Trixie like a storm cloud.
"Peanut butter glue gun!" Trixie pointer her staff at Derp Vader's feet. The packets of peanut butter crackers unwrapped themselves, and all the peanut butter shot out, trapping Derp in place.
"Your feeble peanut butter magic won't stop me!" replied Derp, aiming the muffin cannon at her own feet. "Super-spicy peanut-butter-melting pepper muffin, GO!" A beet-red muffin flew out of the cannon and splattered on the peanut butter, which sizzled, then flowed away from Derp Vader's shoes.
"Now, Trixie, taste my MEGA-MUFFIN!" A muffin the size of a wedding cake flew towards Trixie, knocking her backwards and snapping her magic staff in half.
"No!" shouted Trixie. "I can't control my crackers!"
"I win," said Derp Vader, stepping towards Trixie. "CHS is mine! All mine! And, as my first order of business as the dictator of muffins, I say everyone has to bring me muffins every day, or they won't get any food at all!"
"Not so fast," said Trixie. "My staff's busted, but I've still got my secret weapon!"
"Hahaha! Secret weapon?" laughed Derp Vader. "You must be kidding!"
"No, she isn't," said Principal Celestia.
Derp Vader tuned around. "Oh...um...hello, Principal..."
"See me in my office. Weapons are not allowed in this school! You are in more trouble than Luna after spring break!"
"Aww...muffins..."
Trixie transformed back to normal. "Haha!" she shouted, jumping up. "Trixie finally saved the school! Shower Trixie with love and adoration, please!"
"Oh, some on," said Sweetie Belle. "You didn't even do anything! Celestia's the one who caught Derp Vader."
"Yeah," said Scootaloo. "You're lame."
"An' you smell like peanut butter," said Applebloom. "It's really gross."
Suddenly, Fluttershy walked up to Trixie. "I thought it was cool," she said shyly. "Let's go find an empty classroom and I'll tell you exactly how great and powerful you are..."
"Trixie doesn't know what her feelings are doing right now!"