//------------------------------// // Rarity and Luna // Story: A Joke Gone Too Far // by Nivarion //------------------------------// Twilight took a deep breath to calm fraying nerves. Discord had really crossed the line on this last set of pranks, and she knew that she would have to talk with Fluttershy about reigning him in. With a groan and the protest of muscles that had taken a few too many impacts for the day, Twilight rolled over and began climbing to her hooves. On later recollection, the next event would always be a mystery. Twilight wasn't a fan of spicy foods. And Spike couldn't tell if what he was eating was spicy. Not only that, but the counters were clean and the cabinets closed. So it came as a massive surprise to Twilight when a jar of ground Cayenne pepper fell from fell from somewhere on high to smash on the counter, inches from her nose. She blinked once, as the sensation of glass shards and red hot pepper on her sensitive corneas registered. It didn't hurt, not at first, instead Twilight stood stone still, eyes open wide, as they slowly began to water and turn red. "Ehhhhhh." she squeaked out. "OH! AHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHH!" She began to shout, and then, the shout turned into a full on shriek as she finally began to run. Muscle memory took over, and she began to run towards her laboratory and the mercy of the eye wash station that was there, still shrieking as she ran. Through the watering of her eyes she could see the door ahead. It was never locked nor latched, so she ran full into it. But the door didn't move. Something warm and heavy settling around the Princess, She tried to back away from the wall, but it seemed her horn had become lodged in the door and no matter how she twisted her horn she couldn't budge it. "What is going on!" she shouted as tears flushed down her snout. Her eyes burned so much! "Twilight!" Spike shouted, "Why are you stuck to the wall?" He asked as a magical glow surrounded Twilight and pulled her away. "Darling! Whatever happened?" Rarity asked "You've destroyed this fine tapestry of Celestia and- Oh my, your eyes! And your Mane!" A moment later Spike was pushing Twilight along and finally, after suffering that torture too long Twilight found her head over the eye wash. After a long moment with the cool water soothing her searing eyes Twilight stepped back, eyes still closed tightly. "Spike, towel please." she said. "Here you go Twilight!" Spike said. Twilight stepped forward and buried her face in the towel. It must have been one of the new ones Celestia had gifted them, because it was remarkably soft and silky... And warm... And quite firm... And caused Rarity to squeak. "Uh- Twilight?" Spike said from behind her. Cracking one eye open all Twilight could see was a single blue diamond. Face flushing Twilight took a step back from Rarity's butt, leaving a wet implant of her face right along the Cutie Mark. Two mares and a dragon stood in embarrassed silence for a moment, each trying to out blush the others. "Right... Well I can see this hasn't been your day, Darling, So let us never speak of this again. Why were you pinned to the wall?" Twilight looked at the floor and kicked a hoof. "I thought it was a door." Rarity raised an eyebrow. "You thought... That a tasteful tapestry of Celestia was a door?" "I had Cayenne pepper in my eyes!" Twilight said to her own defense. "And that's where the door was in Golden Oaks." "Where did you get Cayenne pepper?" Spike asked. "I mean, I don't think anypony we know even uses it." "I don't know." Twilight said, flopping in a chair. "I thought this day was out to get me at first. But then Discord showed up..." Twilight said. "I think he threw the pepper at me when I yelled at him." "Oh my!" Rarity said. "Are you sure? I mean, I know he's got an ornery streak but that seems a little too cruel for him." - Twilight scowled and blew a crispy strand of mane out of her face "Well I can't explain it any other way. He might be reformed but he was still evil not too long ago. I think he's just trying to get this out of his system." Twilight said, maybe a bit harder than needed. "Geeze Twi. Angry much?" Spike said, dragging a stool over to the chairs to watch the two of them work. "I am not angry." Twilight said. "Just a little frustrated. It's been a rough twenty minutes since I woke up." Rarity muttered something as she began digging over Twilight's mane. After a bit she gave a little "tut tut" and stepped down. "Twilight, I have a solution for your mane." she said. "But you need to go see the nurse about those burns. It looks like your burns have burns of their own! It simply will not do to have those get infected." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Rarity, I've been burned plenty. These ones are not that bad." "You have a blister by your ear. They are plenty bad enough." Rarity shot back with a stomp of the hoof, declaring the finality of her judgement. "Since your luck seems to be out so far today, I will walk you there to ensure no harm befalls you." She began to prod her friend to get up when the door exploded open. Luna's hoof nearly cracked the door she hit it so hard. The heavy hardwood door bounced off the wall and returned on well oiled hinges to crack the Lunar princess in the snout hard enough that it broke through the door. "Ouch." She said flatly. The door appeared stuck Twilight, Rarity and Spike jumped to their respective hooves and feet with unison cries of worry. "Stay where you are Twilight Sparkle." Luna said commandingly. "We have endured this curse many times, and have adjusted well. But thou art on thine first round, and should refrain from risking thy health." As she said this, Luna finally managed to dislodge her face from the door. She stepped inside. Rarity winced, Spike coughed and Twilight raised and eyebrow. Luna had a tennis ball impaled on her horn, she was wearing knee pads. Around her ears was a garland made of four leaf clovers, a pair of lucky horseshoes hung around her neck. A tattered jacket hung to her barrel by it's last thread. A dream catcher hung from a wing, though the other was in a sling. She had a silver crown on her head, with several lesser gemstones and an acorn mounted prominently on the front. Crowning it all off was a cage strapped to her head with a single live cricket inside. Rarity softly muttered something about "quite the fashion statement" "We see that thou didst not take our advice to simply stay in bed. Though we are most curious, why did you drive away Discord who I sent to help you?" Luna said with a frown and a disproving tone. Twilight blinked. "What?" Twilight asked as the older Alicorn began to walk across the room. She slipped on only Celestia know's what as she walked and nearly banged her chin on the hard floor. "It is the day of the Curse. A thing which my sister has neglected to warn you of at thy ascension. We can understand how it would would slip her mind as they are rare. Are you hurt?" Luna said, her dialect shifting between the early and current modern Equulish. Twilight's mind caught up quickly, sending her reeling. "Wait, what? Alicorns are cursed? How does that even happen?" Luna sat down on an open chair and sighed. A moment later the chair collapsed, but the Princess of the Night didn't seem to notice. "It is a long and complicated tale Twilight Sparkle, fraught with sorrow and anger. One which my Sister and I are mostly responsible for." Twilight grimaced at the broken furniture. "I think we have the time. Go ahead and tell it." Rarity said, finding a seat of her own as her and Spike focused eyes on Luna. "Very well." Luna said. "It starts nearly four hundred years before my fall into Nightmare Moon. Celestia and I were much more rambunctious in those days." Luna began with a soft smile. "We were just getting to know Star Swirl the bearded. He had always been a very funny maa- Ahem, stallion. He did present many funny nicknames for himself. But when-" She paused for a bit. "Uh, yes well he went through some changes and he kept referring to himself by one of his titles he had gained long ago. 'The oncoming storm.'" she smiled "We had... Replicated a story of his, disguising ourselves as old foes of his. His descriptions of his foes were never intimidating, but it startled him badly, as they resemble salt shakers. I am sure I saw his beard turn whiter at the prank-" Twilight cut her off with a "Whoa whoa whoa. I've read every book on Star Swirl the bearded. None of them ever mentioned an enemy or him spouting off strange titles for himself. And Salt Shakers? Really?" Luna rolled her eyes. "Yes, really. Needless to say, he did not enjoy the prank and decided to pull one himself. He cursed us, so that on a random day all Alicorns would suffer horrible luck. He told us that if we paid attention we would see the pattern and be able to end the curse on our own. We have set many great minds to solving this problem over the centuries, but none have been able to end it." Everyone sat in silence for a moment, until Spike finally broke it. "Uhm, is that all of it?" Luna nodded. "That wasn't a long story, Luna." "So he left no hints on breaking this curse?" Rarity asked. "That's simply dreadful, poor Twilight and Cadance did nothing to suffer for this. Even if they had, this is an absurdly disproportionate retribution. If I could give him a piece of my mind." She said, turning her nose up. Luna smiled. "If I could give you his address." she said, then paused. "I meant- Uhm, uh-" She was looking for words. Twilight and Spike caught on at the same time. "Did you imply he's still alive?" They said 'still alive' in unison. Luna shook his head. "No- No I uhm... It was a joke see? hahaha, yes. We must keep our spirits up in these trying times." Twilight frowned and climbed from her chair. "No. You just said that he has an address. That means he's still living. I want to know where he is." Her eyes wide with the prospect of meeting a unicorn who had understood the warping of time and space on such a degree that he could escape the ravages of over a thousand years. Luna frowned and seemed to shrink before the fanatical purple princess. "It is- uhm, a state secret?" Twilight's smile grew, bizarrely wide and disturbing under burns and a pair of black eyes. "I am a fully raised Alicorn princess- on equal authority to you and Celestia by your own admissions. Do you really think that's going to work?" With a mighty 'Pop' Luna vanished. "You can run Luna! But I'll find out eventually!" Twilight shouted at the empty room. As her maniacal laughter began to rise to the ceiling, Rarity and Spike slipped their way out of the room.