‘Yeah, that happens sometimes, she hasn’t run off from her duties like that in a while though.’
Sombra had no idea what to say. It was one thing for a Celestia to become Luna for a few minutes, and another for her to spontaneously teleport, or get caught, or something? Alicorn things, huh.
‘I love you by the way, Som-bra. I haven’t stopped.’
‘I didn’t think you had. Is she like, normally like that? She hasn’t been like that while I’ve been with her, she’s been a lot more formal at least, I think so.’
‘With me? Yeah normally. She’s formal with anypony else she doesn’t know all that well though, like me, like most of us, really.’
‘I can’t really imagine her being all that casual with anypony besides us two haha.’
‘There aren’t many.’
There was a gust of wind as Sombra wondered who those ponies were, he was pretty curious.
‘And who are they?’
‘Ask her yourself why don’t you?’ she said and giggled, enjoying the power of information.
‘Yeah, maybe I will. There was something I forgot to say the other day, one of the guards that brought me home, actually, like nearly punched me until his friend stopped him.’
‘Did he now?’
He did, they did.
‘That’s probably Jasper then, I’ll talk to him. He’s always far too protective, a bit like you are, but he’s not my coltfriend, obviously so it’s not so appropriate. Not that I minded until now.’
‘I’m that protective?’
‘Yeah yeah, I noticed you when Tia was teasing me, you didn’t like it when she mentioned the guards staring at you did you? You can fool my sister perhaps, but not me.’
‘Haha Yeah? I guess so, it was pretty silly though.’
‘Silly feelings are still feelings, lovely.’
She promptly kissed him, and he was filled with a familiar joy. Why the fuck didn’t I find a marefriend before, it feels really fucking good. Good question.
‘I’ll tell him off, don’t worry. He means well, of course.’
‘So you don’t mind me feeling that way?’
‘I adore it, haha, do you know long how it feels for somepony to feel like they own you, after being a fucking princess so long? It’s incredible, Som-bra, don’t stop.’
‘I guess even you immortals have your dreams eh?’
‘Something like that, we have them for much longer than you guys though.’
‘You’ve done all kinds of stuff for longer than us haven’t you?’
‘So we like to think. I don’t know though, I know there’ve been lots with more interesting sex lives than me, haha, I think most ponies have!’
To Sombra, this seemed like a conversation appropriate for when they were all drunk out of their minds, they weren’t though, so it was a bit awkward for him.
‘Yo so I did have an idea about what we were actually going to do today, but it’s slipped my mind, maybe you were just too handsome.’
‘Or maybe your sister was just too pretty.’
Luna cringed as she said ‘Oh man you still remember that joke? That was a bit overboard.’
‘Did you have bad dreams about it?’
‘Funny.’
‘You know what? I’ve got an idea, let me try and change the heart back to that happy black it was before.’
‘And since when did you become an alicorn?’
‘Hush, and watch the prodigy at work.’
Sombra stared at the heart intently, before doing some rather mundane spell, turning it back to black.
‘Ta-da!’
‘Nice soot, that’s obscure.’
‘Aww, really, you can tell without even touching?’
‘Easy as... incest.’
‘Oh go away, Celestia would be ashamed.’
‘Not if we’re... incestous.’
Sombra ended up just shuddering at how weirdly funny it was, with the perfectly awkward emphasis.
‘How am I meant to want to kiss you after that?’
Luna shrugged.
‘Get a bigger libido?’
‘Yes, bloody most lewd meatsack ever! Do you want to drive me away?’
‘Ah enough, I did say it was overboard the first time didn’t I?’
‘And you clearly meant that.’
‘Clearly.’
The rest of the hour he spent there was equally as frivolous, though he did remember to ask an important question.
‘If I were to like, move here could my mother come too?’
Luna’s face got really scrunched.
‘Err, in terms of the palace itself, assuming that’s where you want to live yourself, not really without ahaha, er-’
‘Without what?’
She whispered something he couldn’t hear.
‘Marrying you, um I mean us.’
This was one of those rare times where it was easy to tell she wasn’t just being coy.
Both of them pawed at the grass for a few seconds, not making eye contact.
‘I could probably find some place near here though. I’ll look into it.’
‘Yeah that’d be great.’
‘You said you’re going now?’
‘Yup.’
‘Jasper’s off duty conveniently, you won’t have him.’
They had a quick kiss, and that was the end of a very wordy session with Luna.
He didn’t have Jasper, apparently, but he could hardly tell when all had white fur, blue eyes and gold armour. Why did they? Alicorn stuff, yeah everything you don’t know is alicorn stuff. Why did the pegasi have to schedule a storm as I ride home? Damn alicorn stuff.
And it really was quite the storm, it’d must have been everywhere if the pegasus pulling the chariot couldn’t avoid it.
When Sombra did get home, Robyn wasn’t awake, to his disappointment. He’d hoped she might have stayed up seeing how she was so excited yesterday. Maybe that’s why she’s asleep.
‘You fall asleep quickly, don’t you?’ Luna said, back in Canterlot Palace, though there were no stars in the sky.
‘Oh hi, I guess this is you knocking on my dream door?’
‘Forgive the intrusion.’ she said, lowering her head.
‘How was your trip back?’
‘Wet, and lame, and wet.’
‘The things we do for our fauna, eh?’
‘I guess.’
Quizzically enough, a long cigarette sprouted from Luna’s mouth, and she smoked it like it was no big deal. It probably isn’t.
‘So was it like this with the me that’s not me?’
‘No it was a lot less distinct, somehow. This is a weird one for me, it feels like we’re here in the flesh everything is so distinct, like, separate if you know what I mean?’
Like this? Spinning shapes. Oh my god that’s trippy what the fuck is this? You given me shrooms or something? Mushrooms, sprouting hence, through, bursting out of his chest, with no pain at all. Psychedelic visions, horizons of beasts beyond and then a thought. I’m not sure what’s talking and what’s not, Luna, so, not everything so... No like, this?
Or this? She asked with world spinning, running, then he was clinging to something that wasn’t there, and he didn’t even have a form any more.
Well for one thing I can’t even remember that well what it was like, as much as not having a body is kinda interesting. Heeey, I’m back! Your head is so comfy! No, er... ‘This is super weird Luna haha. Not having a body is kind of manageable in its own way, but not having my own head either?’
‘Where are you getting all this from? Do most of us have these kinda dreams?’
‘No, they’d be the sort I’d have if I ever had any. I was just tinkering, trying to find-’
‘Woah so this is how it feels to be you!’
‘Oh, sorry about that, there you go. Let me fiddle around a bit more before I give up, she’ll probably just go away anyway after this.’
Sombra’s eyes fell out before the rest of his body turned into a blob, and a giant fissure opened up full of yet more strange creatures. Nearly got something, just a bit longer, Som-bra. Fortunately her voice cut through all the crazy stuff that was happening, so he was relatively content to let himself get squished by some unidentified object.
‘Aaand, there, let me take care of that.’ Luna said, leaving Sombra in once piece, and head as clear as a crystal, as if nothing had happened. Stuff had happened though, and I’m kinda confused as to what happened, so my mind isn’t actually all that clear? Fuck if I know, arguing with yourself again.
‘Apologies, love, that tends to happen if I really ruffle through the crevices of which I otherwise can’t acknowledge. It’s made me talk all posh too, apparently. Or a hundred years younger, perhaps.’
‘So you find anything?’
‘Behold, my many imposters.’
A massive layer of rigid Lunas in open jars appeared above them.
‘Um, what?’
‘Don’t worry, they’re not loose, apart from a couple that’s been bothering you, and I can’t really stop her directly. I could just kill all of them, make myself rather insane, but since I’ve dragged them all here, they won’t dare try and talk to you again.’
Watching an uncountable number of his marefriends’ eyes staring at him was fairly disconcerting.
‘Could you like, put them somewhere, oh, that works.’
They were gone before he finished the sentence.
‘I suppose my business is done, let me know if she comes back.’
Sombra tried to approach her for a kiss, or even just a hug, but she didn’t get any closer.
‘Sweet dreams!’ she said before she vanished, leaving a candy in his mouth.
Yeah, that’s Luna alright.