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// Tartarus To Your Doorstep 
// Story: Celestia Doesn't Sweat The Small Stuff 
// by gchamp89 
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"Hello, Auntie Celestia and Princess Twilight."

"Oh fuck me...", I say to myself as I lift my head up and see who else but Prince Blueblood standing a few feet away from where me and Fakelight are laying in the grass in the royal garden. Fakelight is dozing a bit wrapped under my wing (Me-damn, she is cute for an imposter). I also realized that I must have dozed a bit too because from the sun's position it's definitely pass noon.  I put my game face on and turn to face BlueBlood.

"Good Afternoon, Blueblood, how can I help you?"

Blueblood straightens up and levitates towards me a scroll he had been holding, "I am truly for disturbing your vacation time Auntie Celestia but I was told to deliver this scroll to you and  to make myself available for any service specified within said scroll." He salutes me when he finishes.

If I were a lesser pony I would be staring at Blueblood as if he had grown a second head. But since I'm me, the only thing that indicates my surprise is the slight raise in my right eyebrow. "Blueblood, my dear nephew, is there something going on with you that I should know about?"

He looks down and shuffles his hooves a bit, "Well, I have been wanting to change my image for quite sometime." He says nervously, glancing towards me occasionally, "I just want to prove to myself and to the rest of the ponies here that I am not so arrogant, selfish, snobbish, layabout. I want to make myself useful."

By now both eyebrows are raised. I can't believe that the pony standing before me is my pain-in-the-flank nephew. I mean I had written him off ages ago as another stuck-up noble wasting my time in the court. But here he is standing before me with conviction and duty in his eyes. Something I never thought I would see in him. I break my game face and sweep him into a motherly hug. "Oh Blueblood, by admitting that you have taken the very first steps towards making yourself into a better pony."

Blueblood, in shock from the sudden display of affection, squeaked out, "R-Really?" 

"Yes, my dear nephew. It takes a lot to be able to look at yourself and recognize your flaws. It takes even more to be willing to change yourself into a better pony." I break the hug and gaze warmly into his eyes, "I have never been more proud of you then I am now."

Blueblood wipes a tear from his eye, "Th-Thank you Auntie for your kind words."

"It's alright my dear." I grab the scroll from him with my magic, "Now lets see what this is all about." 

I open the scroll and read its contents to myself.

I look at Blueblood standing in front of me.

I re-read the scroll.

I look again at Blueblood.

I re-read the scroll.

I look again at Blueblood.

I re-read the scroll.

I look again at Blueblood.

I close the scroll.

"Blueblood, do you know what is written in this scroll?"

He shakes his head, "Afraid not Aunt Tia, what does it say?"

I smile warmly at him, "Oh...that's not important. But who gave you this scroll?"

"Princess Luna, and she also gave me instructions to make myself available to the services within the scroll."

I nod my head "Well that clears up a few things." I use magic to conjure up some pen and paper and immediately write some things down. When  I am done I fold the paper in half and give it to Blueblood. He unfolds and reads it. He looks at me with eyes as wide as saucer plates, "A-A-A-Auntie, I ha-"

I hold a hoof up and cut him off. "Blueblood, the only thing that matters right now is your ability do everything that paper says by the time specified. Can you do this?" I look at him with pleading eyes.

He stands up straight with duty in his eyes, "I can and I will, Princess Celestia." He does a quick bow and runs off towards the castle.

After he disappears from view I turn toward Fakelight who is still asleep. I give her light bop on the nose and to wake her up. She stirs a bit and opens her eyes. She immediately remembers her situation and bolts straight up. "C-C-C-Celestia, I am sorry I-"

I give her cute nose another bop, "It's alright, Twilight. Things have probably been stressful for you and it just caught up with you. But now I need you to do something for me."

She tilts her head, "What do you need?"

"I need you to go and wait for me in my room. I have some business to attend to with Luna. I'll be right up"

Fakelight looks at me anxiously for bit before turning in the direction of my room. She stops and turns her head towards me, "I-Is everything alright?"

I smile and say, "Everything is fine, Twilight. I just need to discuss something with my dear sister. We will continue when I return to you." She smiles a that and continues walking. I go in the opposite direction and start trotting towards Luna's room.

Don't worry, Fakelight. It's just going to be me and my sister.

And the Tartarus I'm bringing with me





"So, Wingus, Dingus, what's the plan?"

That's the greeting me and my wife are treated to when we enter my little sister's room. I look around and see my LSBFF rise to greet us while the little jerk-ass stands next to her. 

"Hey don't start acting all big now just because you finally have a girlfriend.", I retort.

The little smart-ass crosses his arms, "Like I told Twi, I calls them as I sees them."

I glare at the little punk-ass a bit before our respective partners  give us both whacks to the backs of our heads.

"If you two are done with your pissing contest...", Twilight growled, "maybe you could help get this damn thing off my horn!"

Cadence quickly went over and wrapped Twiley up in a hug. "Oh Twilight, I am so sorry. I never meant for things to get out of hoof." A few tears start to form. "When she first came to me  and told her story, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to help her out. I had no intention of allowing her to break up what you and Celestia have but she just wanted one day and I thought that wouldn't be too much to ask for."

Twiley tries to stay mad at Cadence but the she quickly caves in and hugs her back. "It's alright Cadence, I do understand why you did this. But the execution could've been done a lot better."

I scratch the back my head, "Yeah...that's my fault." Twiley looks towards me. "I thought letting Luna in on this would prevent any major complications instead of causing EVERY major complication. Oh that reminds me, I got call from my some of my guys back at the castle, they know where to find the code to unlock that inhibitor on your horn."

Twiley perks up at that, "Really?! It'll be off soon?! Oh your the best BBBFF ever!" Twilight throws her hooves around Shining.

As I return Twiley's hug, my jacket starts humming, "What is that?", Twiley asks.

"Oh, it's my crystal communicator. It's probably my men reporting in." I reach my hoof into my dress uniform pocket that I am wearing and pull out a small clear glowing gem.

Spike raises an eyebrow, "Probably calling in to report that something else has gone horribly wrong."

Before I can respond to the little..punk-ass? No, already called him that. What else is there? Jerk-ass? Smart-ass? You know what never mind, I'll think of something later.  Now where was I?

"Captain Armor, Sir!" A voice calls out from the gem in my hoof.

Oh right,  "What is it Corporal? Have you completed the mission?"

"Negative sir! We are still searching for the code. However we have a new development I believe you should be made aware of."

"Called it, Dingus!" thwack! "OW! What the hell, Twilight?!" thwack! "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Ignoring them, I talk into the gem, "What's the situation?"

"Sir, Delta Fox has reported from his position at Charlie-zero-zero-five that at 1340 hours, Crucible 1 and Crucible 2 were seen heading toward the castle. We are assuming they are going to go see Princess Celestia. ETA is between 70-90 minutes.

My blood runs cold at the news. "Corporal!", I shout into the gem, "Call in every non-vital unit to assist with the search! We need that code yesterday! Also, tell every door guard to stall Crucible one and two for as long as possible when they arrive. Any method short of anything violent is approved. Go now, Corporal, Celestia-Speed!"

I shut the gem off and look around to see everybody staring at me, concerned. Cadence speaks up first, "Honey, what in Equestria is heading to the castle?"

I look at her grimly. "Tartarus."




Don't Panic. Don't Panic. Don't Panic. Don't Panic. Don't Pa-

"Luna?"

My heart skips a beat as I hear the my name called from my fortress under my bed in my room. It then stops completely when I recognize the motherly voice that said it.

"Luna, I know you're in there. Come out so we can talk."

Knowing my sister, it's futile to keep quiet and hope she gives up and walks away. My sister could always track me like a bloodhound whenever I got into trouble. "We are currently indisposed now dear sister. Please check back later." I look around and spot the balcony door. If I can distract her long enough I can silently crawl my way to it and be out the castle before she even knows it.

"Luna...", The same motherly voice speaks, "I am aware of what you have done."

I start to sweat as I begin my crawl, "Could thou be more specific?", I respond as I go inch by inch.

"Everything Luna, I know everything." , I speed up my pace at that.

"I see.", I am a foot away from the door. I stretch out my leg to put my hoof on the knob.

"I am not as mad as you think, Luna" I pause at that and look towards my chamber door. 

She's not as mad I think? She should foaming at the mouth about everything I've done. 

Unless..."Did you get the message from Blueblood?", I ask hopefully.

"Yes, I did. Don't worry my dear sister. This situation can be repaired but I do need your help to do so." 

Huzzah! My plan must have worked! Blueblood took the brunt of her anger and Celestia has calmed down enough where I no longer need to be in fear of my life. 

I stand up and dust myself off, "Alright, Tia, we are coming!", I say as I walk away from the balcony door towards my chamber door.

I grab a hold of the knob with my magic (which I just remembered that I could do), turn it, and open the door.

There I see my sister, Princess Celestia, at my doorstep.

...Except something's wrong.

I don't remember this intense heat that could melt stone radiating from my sister

I also don't remember my sister's mane and tail being looking like they are made out of living hellfire.

The purple demonic eyes are new to me as well. And this thing where I feel like I am looking into the fiery pits of Tartarus when I gaze into them?  That is also new.

Her coat seems to have taken on a reddish hue to it as well.

But what stands out as the most is the smile. Normally when my sister smiles at me, I feel warmth and happiness all throughout my body.

This smile makes me want to do something that I haven't done since I was potty trained when I was a foal.

It's probably the teeth that's doing it. The razor-sharp, dagger like teeth my sister is flashing at me as she smiles.

I use my magic to close the door.

I wait a few seconds and try to figure out what was wrong with that scene.

"Luna..." My sister's sweet as honey voice calls through, "We still need to discuss a few things."

I open the door with my magic.

The scene before me is unchanged.

There I see my sister, Princess Celestia, at my doorstep.

Then it hits me. I realize the mistake lied with me. My sister, Celestia, was not at my doorstep.

Tartarus was at my doorstep.

Here to collect the poor, pitiful, dumb-ass who was unlucky enough to earn its ire.

I look around my room behind to see if there is anypony else there.

I see no one.

"Fuck me..."