//------------------------------// // There is no spoon... // Story: The Coming of the Ponosaji... // by Mister E //------------------------------// Chapter 3 There is no spoon... Rainbow Dash streaked through the sky as quickly as she could. Her forehead ached dully for the repeated spooning it had received. Finally the trees of Sweet Apple Acres came into view. As luck would have it she spied Applejack in the fields, hard at work bucking apples. She quickly flew down to her. “Applejack!” she yelled as she zoomed in for a landing, braking hard at the last second and causing Applejack to nearly knock over the barrel of apples she had almost filled. “Tarnation Rainbow! You nearly ruined an entire barrel of apples. What in the name of Celestia has got ya’ll so excited? Are the Wonderbolts performing today?” “Applejack! Quick you gotta help me!” Rainbow says breathlessly. “There’s been a strange pony following me around and assaulting me. Please, I need your help!” “WHAT!” Applejack says, her temper quickly rising. “Why that low down lily liver’d varmint! Ain’t no pony going to be allowed to hurt one of MY friends! Now you just take a breath and tell me what happened and what he looks like. I’ll sort him out right fast.” Rainbow breathes a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you so much. He was really starting to get to me. I feel much better now that you are with me.” She says, giving AJ a wide smile. “Okay so it was like this. I was just lying in bed sleeping. I yawn and roll over, and there he was! Right beside me in my own bed!” “No!” AJ says in shock. “Right in bed with you? So it’s a Pegasus we’re after eh?” “Well... no, it was a unicorn... I think. But let me tell you the rest of it.” Rainbow continues hastily. “So there he was, right next to me. His face and body were all white, with black eyes and lips. And he wore a black hooded outfit. Before I could do anything, he raises a hoof, quick as a flash and then hits me right between the eyes! With a spoon!” “Great Celestia! He hit you... wait, did you say spoon?” AJ says cocking her head to the side. “Yeah, that’s right! Right between the eyes at the base of my forehead. It really stung too!” Rainbow says, rubbing the aforementioned spot. “Hold on now,” AJ says raising a hoof. “Ya’ll mean to tell me that there was some white unicorn in your bed when you woke up, and that he hit you in the head with a spoon? Is that what your sayin?” “Yeah, but it gets worse! So I jump out of the bed right, and this unicorn gets up and starts trotting toward me, with this weird lurching shuffle. Well he backs me into the kitchen, and I snatch up a large iron skillet. I tell him to back off or I’ll use it. Well, he just comes at me, so I rare back and clock him upside the head. But he doesn’t even budge! He just raises his spoon and hits me again. And it really stings! So I clock him again, and he hits me again, and I clock him again, and he hits me again. He just won’t go down! So I toss the pan at him and fly out of the house, and when I look back he’s following after me. Just lurching along. So I flew here as quick as I could, and... Um, Applejack... why are you still bucking apples? We need to do something, there’s no telling when he will catch up to me!” Applejack pauses for a moment. “Rainbow, ya’ll do remember I am the element of honesty right? Now I don’t know what kind of prank you’re trying to set up, but I just ain’t got the time for it. And tellin me a story like that right to my face is borderline insulting. Now I got chores to do here, if you want to prank some pony that badly try Pinkie Pie, she’s much more amiable to a good joke than I am.” “But AJ! I’m NOT joking! He’s real, and he’s after me.” Rainbow says, her voice tinged with desperation. “Right, some white unicorn chased you around a pegasus cloud house, and you hit him a bunch of times with a frying pan, but it didn’t do any good, and he kept hitting you with a spoon? Girl, that’s isn’t even a GOOD story. Either you are lying to me, or you dreamed up the whole thing. My advice is go talk to Luna. Maybe she can make the scary spoon pony go away.” And with that Applejack goes back to bucking apples. “Fine!” Rainbow says, as she turns away and begins to trot up the dirt road. She barely goes two steps when from behind a nearby tree the Ponosaji emerges. Rainbow stops in her tracks, and before she can call for help the Ponosaji rears back his hoof and strikes Rainbow in the head with his spoon. {Tap!}“Ow!” she cries, as she quickly turns around. “Applejack quick, he’s here! Hit him! Buck him! Stop him!” she cries. Applejack stops bucking and looks past Rainbow Dash. “And WHERE exactly is this mystery unicorn? ‘Cause I don’t see anypony except for you.” “What are you talking about? He’s right...” Rainbow starts to say as she turns around. But there is no pony in sight. Cautiously she trots forward, and looks behind all of the nearest trees, only to find nothing. “Honest AJ, he was right here! And he hit me with that darn spoon of his again. Really!” “Of course he did,” AJ replies, and then he just jumped up on a cloud and flew off... cause unicorns are famous for doing that.” “AJ I’m telling you th-{tap!} OW!” Rainbow says as a white hoof comes out from behind the tree she just checked and strikes her once again. {Tap!}, darn it! {tap!} AJ quick, he’s behind this tree! He’s just hit me twice more.” Apple jack stops once again, and trots over to Rainbow Dash. She glares at the pegasus for a moment before trotting around the tree in question in a complete circle. “There. Now you’ve had your fun. You got me to play along. Now if’n ya’ll don’t mind, I need to get back to my chores. Feel free to stop back by, once ya’ll get this spoon thing out of your system.” AppleJack says, turning her back and trotting back to her unfinished tree. Quick as a flash, a white hoof reaches out from behind Rainbow’s tree, and one more strikes the pony with it’s spoon. {Tap!}. “Ap-” Rainbow begins, and then stops. “What’s the use?{tap!}. She’s not going to believe me. {tap!}. I need to find some other pony {tap!}. Somepony more open minded {tap!}. Someone who is used to the strange and the weird{tap!}. Would you knock it off for five blessed minutes!” Rainbow yells {tap!}. “I done told ya, I need to finish my chores!” Applejack yells back. “I wasn’t talking to you! Rainbow replies. I was talking to... never mind! Just forget it!” She says as she flaps her wings and rises in the air. As she rises above the orchard, she hovers for a moment. “Who can I talk to about this besides Twilight?” She muses, as she watches small thunderheads pass by on the breeze. “Who else would know abou-{tap!}. OW! What the what?” she says, as she notices a familiar hooded figure riding a passing cloud. She watches horrified, as the cloud stops in mid flight, and begins to fly back toward her against the wind. The figure riding the cloud slowly raises his hoof, and spoon held high, advances toward her. “No! No way! Clouds only behave that oddly in the Everfree. Wait a second! That’s it! Zecora! She’ll know what to do. She knows about all kinds of stuff like this.” And with that Rainbow Dash is off like a shot, heading for the Everfree Forest.