//------------------------------//
// Chapter Three - The Chaos Union 
// Story: Equestria Girls /0 
// by Bitt_Player 
//------------------------------//

	“Oh, Sunset Shimmer, I’m glad I found you,” Rarity said. “I don’t know why you’re up here on the roof, but have you heard about that press release from Strawman Incorporated?”
“You mean the one where they announced they were raising their prices and reducing staff to lower costs in the same paragraph?” Sunset asked. “Yeah, I saw that.”
“And in the very next paragraph they said they were doubling their CEO’s salary,” Rarity added. “It’s as if they want people to dislike them.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they were trying to set themselves up as an example for anti-corporate types to point at.” Sunset replied with a shrug. “Even if it means bankruptcy. Good thing we get all of our stuff from Rational Corporation.”
“No time for whatever you’re talking about now!” Rainbow Dash interrupted, running by. “Check it out! I can fly!” With that, Rainbow jumped onto an electric guitar and launched into the sky.
“How in the world can you fly on a guitar?” Rarity called out.
“‘Cause it’s a Flying V!” Rainbow shouted back, performing a vertical loop for emphasis.
“If it can fly because it’s a Flying V, how am I up here on a G5566?” Sunset asked, finding herself next to Rainbow on a double-necked guitar.
“Because it’s a G5566 Jet! Duh!” Rainbow explained.
“Oh. I guess that makes sense,” Sunset said. “Wait, does it?”
“Of course it makes sense! I said it!” Rainbow explained. “Now I’ll go shoot down every Pteras Bomber ever with laser beams from my eyes. See you later!” With that, Rainbow blasted away, rapidly breaking the sound barrier.
“Good hunting, Rainbow Dash,” Sunset said, saluting her friend as she disappeared over the horizon.



Sunset Shimmer woke up… incompletely. It took her several seconds to realize she’d been dreaming, and another full minute to realize she must have fallen asleep. Her third realization was that she probably would’ve had the previous two realizations much more quickly if she’d had them in the opposite order. Her next great profundity was that while her leather jacket hung from her chair, she had fallen asleep wearing the rest of her clothes, and that her skirt had managed to get turned sideways. Moments later, she discovered that her legs were wrapped tightly in her blanket, leaving her mostly immobile. It was only then that she remembered that she didn’t even own a G5566. In fact, Sunset Shimmer was the one with the Flying V.
“Glerg,” Sunset announced to her bedroom. She briefly attempted to unravel the seemingly-impossible tangle of fabric that entrapped her from foot to waist. “Murf.” She proclaimed. Abandoning this fascinating line of reasoning, Sunset managed to roll onto her stomach and drag herself off of her bed.
With the free-spirited roaming made possible by the floor’s relative expansiveness, she was at last able to fully explore the nature of her situation, and -with a bit of experimentation- extract herself from the fiendish trap of her blanket. Next was the relatively simple task of turning her skirt to face more or less the correct direction, which Sunset achieved within moments despite remaining too sleepy to process the concept of standing up.
“Murg,” Sunset observed, combining her previous theorems. Her throat painfully dry, she half-crawled, half-dragged herself to the mini-fridge under her desk. Reminding her sleep-addled mind of the correct process for opening a refrigerator door, she acquired a can of orange soda from the door’s wire rack. Next, Sunset Shimmer sat up, leaned her back against the wall, and cracked the can open. Mostly-asleep or not, Sunset knew that there were two appropriate courses of action when holding a freshly-opened can of orange soda, and she opted for the first one. She chugged it. The glorious beverage soothed her throat and cleared some of the fog from her head. Orange soda was, in Sunset Shimmer’s considered opinion, one of the simple joys of life, and she kept a respectable supply in her room at Empyrean Team’s base at all times. At least two cases found their way into the Hover Cargo whenever the team traveled, as well.
Sunset’s next retrieval from the fridge was another of the simple joys of life: leftover pizza. She extracted the slice from its tinfoil wrapping. Sausage and pepperoni. Exquisite. There was a time when pizza, leftover or otherwise, was a rare luxury in Sunset's life. Now she could eat it three meals a day if she wanted, and sometimes she did. Sunset devoured half the slice, then grabbed the desktop with one hand and pulled herself to her feet. A second piece of tinfoil rested next to her keyboard, a forlorn pizza crust in its center. She quickly finished off her pizza slice, crumpled both tinfoil sheets around last night’s crust, and dropped the rough cylinder of foil into the wastebin next to her desk. The empty soda can followed. Sunset looked at her computer’s three monitors, which displayed Zoid performance metrics, transcripts of interviews, footage of past battles -all of which had finished playing- and, centrally, a map of Empyrean Team’s next battlefield, with starting locations marked and several notes displayed. Next to this was a text file with a complicated strategic analysis for the upcoming match with the team she’d been analyzing, taking into account the combat area, battle mode, and predicted weather for the battle. Sunset Shimmer only vaguely remembered crafting this strategy, but it looked sound as far as her half-asleep brain could process it. She blinked twice, then rubbed her eyes.
“Shower.” Sunset pronounced, finally forming coherent words. She left the computer to take advantage of what might well be the greatest luxury enjoyed by Empyrean Team: Each and every bedroom in their base had a full bathroom attached. A long, cold shower would wake her up completely.
Some time later, a freshly washed, dried, and dressed Sunset Shimmer sat down at her computer. She then flagrantly abused the positioning of her mini-fridge to open it and acquire both another soda can and a chocolate bar from within. It was 8:00AM, and both the strategy text file and edited map showed that they’d last been saved less than four hours previously. Sunset liked to maintain an air of mystique regarding her strategizing, and briefly pondered how embarrassed she would be if her teammates discovered the extent to which the process relied on cold pizza, cold showers, chocolate, and sleep deprivation. And of course the ever-present orange soda.
Team Eidechsekanone had challenged Empyrean Team to a match under Battle Mode 0973. As 0973 required terrain that strictly limited mobility and line of sight, the Zoid Battle Commission had selected the ruins of an ancient, walled city as the battlefield. It hardly mattered to Empyrean Team, but 0973 also prohibited flying Zoids. Sunset believed that the trio of Gun Sniper pilots would use their boosters and anchor claws to climb buildings, turning the city’s wide streets into kill zones. It was a tough strategy to counter, but Sunset thought she had a solution. The battlefield was large, but Pinkie’s Dibison could hit any point in the area with its cannons if she fired indirectly. To fire indirectly, however, Pinkie would need others to call her shots. Applejack and Rarity would serve in that capacity.
Watching interviews and battle footage for hours on end had made it quite clear to Sunset that the girls of Team Eidechsekanone would expect Applejack and Rarity to move along the main roads and avoid the narrow side streets in which they might become trapped. Since Photo Finish’s team seemed to be dead set on this belief, Sunset would have her teammates do the opposite -lurking in the side streets where they were unlikely to be spotted, and using their Zoids’ sensor suites to detect the Gun Snipers. Once a Sniper was found, they would call down the artillery fire, courtesy of Pinkie Pie. Sunset expected her opponents to reposition after the first Gun Sniper fell, but had faith in her team to locate the others. If one of the Eidechsekanone pilots located Pinkie Pie, her Dibison could withstand at least a few rounds from their sniper rifles, but there was always the chance that she would be taken down before she could defeat all three. Such a situation would make things difficult, as Rarity and Applejack would probably not have clear shots at their opponents from the ground, so they would have to rely on damaging the buildings upon which the Gun Snipers perched in hopes of causing them to fall. Given the impressive durability of the ancient structures, such an effort would be extremely difficult. This strategy relied heavily on her teammates finding the Gun Snipers before they found Pinkie, but Sunset thought they could make it work. She took a long pull from her soda can -the second appropriate use of orange soda. Sunset gave the battle plan one final once-over in search of spelling errors or strategic flaws, then began organizing it for presentation to the rest of the team.



The great, walled city’s name had been lost to the ages, as had the fate of its inhabitants. The city had been emptied of its population at least a millennium ago, and they had left no evidence to indicate where or they’d gone or what their eventual fate had been. Abandoned cities such as this dotted the landscape of Neo-Equestria, and were found on the other continents as well. This city’s walls had entrances to the north and south, and at these entrances were the only signs of movement. At the southern entrance were three Gustavs, each of which had a flatbed trailer attached. Each trailer carried a customized Gun Sniper, kneeling as low as they could. Each Gun Sniper’s pilot busied herself removing the chains and steel cables that held her Zoid in place.
Meanwhile, at the northern entrance, Empyrean Team’s Zoids marched out of their Hover Cargo’s forward entrance.
“Okay ladies, this one’s going to be tough,” Sunset Shimmer said, “but I know you three can pull it off! When you win this we’ll hit C Rank, so get out there and rock this town!”
“Don’t you worry none,” Applejack said confidently. “We’ll have these gals done by dinner time!”
“Ah, there’s the Judge,” Rarity pointed out, adjusting a glove as the Judge pod slammed into the center of the city. “Excellent timing!”
“Area scanned! Battlefield, set up!” The Judge announced in its usual manner. Or the manner of the other Judge robots Empyrean Team had seen. Telling them apart was, by design, impossible. “Team Eidechsekanone versus -AGH!” The Judge’s opening was suddenly interrupted as a large object fell from the sky, slamming into its pod.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" A maniacal laugh replaced the Judge's staid, even tone. A new pod rose from the crater, this one painted a glossy black. This capsule opened to reveal a ridiculously-painted Judge robot. Its body was dark green, its single leg was brown, and the domed plate it had in place of a foot was orange. Its left and right arms were orange and yellow, respectively. The robot’s head was gray, with white radio vanes and a yellow display / photoreceptor screen.
"All right you clowns, let's get right to it! This match is now a Chaos Union battle!" The absurdly-painted Judge robot declared. “I am the Anarchy Judge! As you can see, the lovely Zoid elevators connected to this town’s underground base have just lifted an Iron Kong to each entrance! You’ll further notice the Whale King currently emerging from the clouds and deploying countless Zabat drones for your own personal misery!”
“What in Tartarus do you think yer doin’?” Applejack demanded. “Ya’ll can’t just barge in on a battle like this!”
“You better believe we can!” The Anarchy Judge shot back. “Who’s gonna stop us?! Now listen up, ‘cause I’m only gonna say this once! The Zabats are faster than any Zoid here, and the only way outta the city is through those Iron Kongs! Beat ‘em all and we’ll let you go, but otherwise we’ll just have to take every Zoid you have! Battle Mode Zero-Nine-Nine-Nine! Anything goes! Get set… Fight!”
“Girls, deal with as many Zabats as you can!” Sunset commanded. “Rainbow, Fluttershy, get to the turrets but don’t start firing until we deal with that Iron Kong! I’d rather it keep its back to us until we take it out! I’m gonna synch my console to the main cannon controls, then we’ll mow that thing down!”
“Um, I’m not sure I-” Fluttershy began.
“No time for doubt! Let’s go!” Rainbow Dash interrupted, seizing Fluttershy’s wrist and pulling her out of the control room.
“Who do these punks think they are, anyway?!” Applejack demanded, firing a sustained burst from her beam Gatling gun into the air. Several auto-Zabats fell from the sky. Rarity added her laser machine gun and double-barreled beam cannon to the mix. Pinkie targeted the Whale King instead, firing all seventeen linear cannons in rapid succession. Most of the shots hit Zabats instead, but a few got through the veritable cloud of computer-controlled Zoids to damage the Whale King’s paint work.
“Geez, how come flak ammo’s always on back order when we need it?” Pinkie complained as several Zabats broke off from the cloud to swoop down towards Empyrean Team’s Zoids.
“Evasive maneuvers, girls! Those Zabats probably have bombs!” Sunset warned.



Photo Finish was often accused of being eccentric. Some went as far as ‘insane.’ Was it so bad that she loved Gun Snipers? She certainly didn’t think so. Photo counted herself fortunate to have met two others who shared her bottomless delight for the singular Zoid. The fact that they were all talented pilots made things even better, because it meant that the three of them could express their love for the incomparable machines in battles all across the continent. The trio had leveraged their raw talent and ever-growing skill in a meteoric rise through D-Rank and into C, and showed no signs of stopping.
“Zese fools underestimate us!” Photo Finish declared, as if interrupting a vague, somewhat digressionary paragraph. “Zey take for granted our Zoids, as well!” Her Gun Sniper blew several Zabat drones out of the sky with sustained bursts from its beam Gatlings. While not nearly as large or powerful as the weapons on Applejack’s Dark Horn, the small guns mounted on a Gun Sniper’s claws were sufficient for light Zoids such as Zabats.
“Too right!” Pixel Pizzaz said. She released a flight of missiles from her Zoid’s missile pods. Pixel had managed to mount an additional missile pod to the outer sides of both her Gun Sniper’s stock pods, giving her the ability to release a veritable cloud of radar-guided explosives. She rarely did so, knowing that projectile saturation wasn’t always a good thing. Against Zabats, for example, it would be a complete waste to have more than one missile lock on to the same target. “Right, let’s mow them down!”
“Are y’all sure we can handle all these?” Violet Blurr asked, adding her own beam Gatlings to the firefight. Her tone was analytical and unconcerned. “I mean,  they got numbers on us in a big way, an’ we still need t’ get through that Iron Kong. T’ be honest, I’m just glad it can’t get a clear shot at us up here.”
“Have we any choice?” Photo Finish asked. “Wir sind Zoidkriegerin. We will endure!”
“I was figurin’ we could work with them Empyrean gals,” Violet explained. “We ain’t their opponents any more, so we might could talk ‘em into helping out.”
“Tch, they’re just Zabats,” Pixel grumbled. “So there’s loads of ‘em, what’s that matter?”
“Bombs a-fallin’!” Violet warned.
“Scatter!” Photo Finish shouted, using her Gun Sniper’s boosters to vault to another rooftop. The others turned and jumped to other buildings.
“Okay, so, changed me mind. The more the merrier, yeah?” Pixel said, releasing another flight of missiles. “Maybe we could use some help.”
“I’ll see if I can get hold of ‘em,” Violet said.



“This here’s Violet Blurr, with Team Eidechsekanone,” crackled a voice over Applejack’s radio. “Can any of ya hear me? I’m just guessin’ at frequencies here.”
“Empyrean Team’s Applejack, I hear ya jus’ fine. What can I do ya for?”
“What a relief it is t’ hear your voice!” Violet said. “As you might imagine, these Zabats are troubling us something awful! I’m sure they aren’t doing you any favors either, so I was wonderin’ if our teams maybe could work together?”
“Lemme get the rest of the gals on this frequency. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it, so long’s we ask first.”
“Thank ya kindly.”
Applejack tapped a few keys on her Dark Horn’s right-side console. “You gals catch that? Violet Blurr’s got a mind to work together against these Chaos Union troublemakers.” She paused to gun down another cluster of Zabats. “So, what’chy’all figure?”
“I just got the Hover Cargo’s main cannons ready to fire,” Sunset Shimmer replied. “And that Iron Kong isn’t even looking our way. Fluttershy and Rainbow can get the turrets firing without retaliation once I’ve got it down. We should be able to move into the city proper and keep those Zabats off Eidechsekanone while they snipe their Kong, then we’re all in the clear. Sound good?”
“Works fer me,” Applejack replied.
“That’d be just fine,” Violet agreed. “I’ll let my teammates know what yer fixin’ to do. If’n we can keep the Zabats off her for a couple-few minutes, Photo Finish oughta be able to take down our Iron Kong with her rifle gun.”
Suddenly, the Hover Cargo’s forward cannons fired, blowing large holes into the back of the Iron Kong blocking the city’s northern entrance. The gorilla-like Zoid stumbled forward before crashing to the ground. “That’s him down!” Sunset said cheerfully, a wide grin plastered across her face. “Rainbow, Fluttershy, open fire on those Zabats! Let’s wrap this mess up!”
“Y’all gotta tell me where you live so I can bring a fixin’ of my famous blackberry cobbler later,” Violet added as the air filled with energy blasts from the Hover Cargo’s turrets. “As thanks for yer help.”
“Bring yer whole team, we’ll make a fixin’ of it!” Applejack invited.
“That’s rightly hospitable of ya! We’ll do just that!” With that, Violet Blurr cut the radio connection. Applejack was about to fire another burst into the cloud of Zabats when something caught her eye. Looking to her right, Applejack saw that Rarity had opened comms with her, thus displaying her face on the Dark Horn’s HUD, but was staring agog at her instead of speaking.
“What?” Applejack asked simply.
“I have no idea what you two just said to each other,” Rarity explained flatly.
“Don’t ever go t’ Dodge Junction without a translator, then.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “We’re gonna keep them Zabats off Photo Finish so she can gun down the other Iron Kong, then we’re all goin’ t’ our place fer a party. Simple.”
“Then why didn’t you just say that, dear?” Rarity asked, shooting down a few more Zabats for emphasis.
“I’m pretty sure we did,” Applejack retorted, sweeping a beam Gatling burst through the sky. “Weren’t you payin’ attention?”
“Settle it later, you two. We still have a fight to win!” Sunset commanded as the Hover Cargo began moving forward.



Photo Finish looked down on her opposed Iron Kong from high atop the city’s tallest skyscraper. She was so far from the enemy Zoid that its sensors did not detect her, and its pilot hadn’t spotted her from her vantage point. Laser bolts flew into the sky all around her, like a backwards rainstorm of superheated doom. This hail of lasers struck countless auto-Zabats from the sky, causing them to fall all around her like a rain of metal going in the correct direction. Despite the chaos, Photo Finish was perfectly calm. Indeed, she was in her element: concentrating with single-minded focus on her target while relying on her ever-dependable teammates to insure that nothing interrupted her.
“Chop chop, gaffer, I’m about outta missiles!” Pixel Pizzaz complained, firing another beam Gatling burst over the shoulder of Photo’s Gun Sniper. “I mean, normally I’d lump it, but the heat levels on me beam Gatlings are givin’ me the collywobbles. I know I said they’re only Zabats, but this still isn’t handbags at dawn, yeah?”
“No one’s Trottingham accent is that thick,” Rarity complained, rolling her eyes and double-checking to make sure she’d switched off outbound comms.
“I am very nearly ready,” Photo said reassuringly. Her Gun Sniper was in shooting position, with its tail perfectly straight to serve as the barrel of its sniper rifle. Photo Finish's seat had rotated into the interior of the Zoid's head, and she was lying on her stomach, gazing into the rifle's targeting display. Normal Gun Snipers carried 144mm rifles, but Photo Finish had had hers rebuilt with a custom-made 200mm rifle. It meant returning to Gewehrwerkstatt every time she needed ammunition, or any maintenance work done, but Photo Finish did not consider that a serious downside. “Just keep the Zabats off me for a few minutes more, jawohl?” Photo Finish centered the Iron Kong in her sights, glanced at her range finder and wind indicators - a Gun Sniper’s sensor suite included very sensitive weather sensors. The tiny pressures created by even gentle breezes provided all the information Photo Finish needed. She adjusted her aim upwards and to the left.  
“Und now I will make… Da Magicks!” Photo Finish fired a 200mm round directly into the Iron Kong’s lower torso. The Zoid reeled back, then keeled forward to crash face-first into the pavement.
“Rocking shot, boss!” Pixel Pizzaz cheered.
“It was, wasn’t it?” Photo Finish asked rhetorically as her Gun Sniper resumed its normal stance. “Now we are in the clear.”
“I think you’re all forgetting something!” The Anarchy Judge spoke up suddenly.
“As a matter of fact, I did forget you were there,” Rarity said condescendingly.
“Not me, you achromatic airhead!” The Anarchy Judge pointed up, at the Whale King. “Try the colossal insult to gravity that all those Zabats came from! You may be interested to know that this baby comes complete with no less than six forward-facing electron mass drivers! But those are just its secondary weapons! Its primary armament is the gigantic honking electron cannon it’s currently aiming at your Hover Ca- WHAT?!” The Anarchy Judge was interrupted as the ground shook violently, forcing the Zoid pilots to re-balance their machines to avoid keeling over. Photo Finish and Violet Blurr leaped to another rooftop as their building groaned ominously in the silence following the tremor.
“Look! To ze east!” Photo Finish said, her Gun Sniper pointing eastward. “An Ultrasaurus! Ze Battle Commission is here!”
“Well, isn’t it just like those self-righteous rule-happy little- AGH!” The Anarchy Judge’s complaint was cut off as another tremor rattled the city. “All right, full retreat! We can’t compete with an Ultrasaurus!” With that, the Anarchy Judge’s pod snapped shut as its rocket fired, lifting it into the sky. The Whale King turned southward, releasing a loud call as it fled the Battle Commission’s wrath.



Sunset Shimmer sagged in her seat within the Hover Cargo’s control room as the transport cruised through the moon-lit night. Both teams had endured hours of interviews and questions as the Commission wrung every last detail out of them. The Zoid Battle Commission reacted poorly to interference in its fights. They reacted even more poorly to the idea of a Whale King going undetected in the airspace above a designated battlefield. At least they were convinced that neither Empyrean nor Eidechsekanone had invited the interlopers.
“Yeesh, I’d rather have a dozen Zoid battles back-to-back than do through that again,” Applejack grumbled. Like Sunset, she sat low in her seat.
“Tell me about it,” Pinkie mumbled from the floor. “At least we don’t get kicked out of the Commission if we lose a fight.”
“I’m so tired I could sleep for days,” Rainbow chimed in, her chin resting on a powered-down console. “We’ll have to have that party or whatever some other time.”
“Yeah, I never thought I wouldn’t be up for a party,” Pinkie agreed. “But I don’t think I could handle one right now.”
“I’m going to sleep forever and then wash my hair forever,” Rarity grumbled.
“You wash your hair to relax?” Sunset asked.
“You don’t?”
“... Never mind.”
“I get that a lot.”
“Um, I think Pinkie fell asleep,” Fluttershy interrupted sheepishly. Her suspicions were confirmed by the quiet snores that began to rise up from the floor. Applejack calmly regarded her sleeping teammate, who lay face-up on the floor, mouth hanging open.
“Gal can sleep any-dang-where.” Applejack retrieved a cushion from one of the storage lockers at the back of the room and carefully slid it under Pinkie’s hyper-curled mop of hair. Pinkie rolled onto her side without waking up, and her snores were replaced with soft, even breathing. “That'll help ya better.” Applejack added quietly.
“We’ll be home soon, team,” Celestia said reassuringly, checking the auto-pilot’s display. “And Luna’s on her way back, as well. Perhaps she has good news for us.”