//------------------------------// // Ch5: 3, 2, 1, Go! // Story: Super Smash Brothers: Disharmony // by Dusty the Royal Janitor //------------------------------// _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Super Smash Bros: Disharmony by Dusty the Royal Janitor Chapter 5 - 3, 2, 1, Go! Twilight Sparkle groaned as she stumbled blearily through an endless void. As far as she could see, there was naught but a blackness, stretching on and on for miles upon miles in every direction. In front of her, behind her, and up above her, there was nothing but the dark. Twilight’s breathing quickened in the inky void. Something about this place was wrong. Very wrong. Even worse, she could swear that there was something in the darkness with her. The purple unicorn attempted to cast an illumination spell. Her horn flickered for a moment before bursting out in a bright corona of light. Twilight gasped at what she beheld. She stood upon a floating island, made of some mineral she had never seen before in a vast, empty, black void. The soil around her hooves glowed a deep purple as it reflected the light from her horn. The purple glow seemed to spread out from the spot where she stood until it engulfed the entire island she was standing upon, then somehow spread out further into the void, illuminating countless other islands floating off in the distance. An eerie purple-white fog seemed to roll off of the soil and lick at her fetlocks as she stood stock still upon the floating platform. The hairs on the back of Twilight’s neck rose as she looked from side to side for any other signs of life. “H-Hello?” Twilight stammered, her mouth suddenly very dry. She could sense a presence nearby but despite the sudden visibility in the void, she could see nothing. Twilight gulped, working up the nerve to move from her spot. Stepping as carefully and quietly as she could, she made her way to the edge of the floating platform, ears twitching and eyes darting from side to side all the way. Her hoofsteps echoed throughout the endless void, ringing in her ears and deafening her as she stepped up to the edge of the floating island. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she looked over the edge of the cliff into the void below. “Twilight…” a voice whispered. The unicorn jerked at the voice. “Who’s there?!” she shouted into the emptiness, darting her head from side to side, up and down, and every which way to try and catch a glimpse of who had spoken. “Twilight Sparkle…” the voice whispered again. “I’m warning you!” Twilight shouted, sweating. “I’m a seventh level mage in Celestia’s School for gifted unicorns!” she yelled to nobody, failing to sound confident at all. “Whatever you are, I’m not afraid of you!” Suddenly, the island she stood on shook and shuddered. A massive CRASH rang throughout the void, causing Twilight to lose her footing and fall flat on her face. Another CRASH heralded the sudden appearance of a massive blue hand grabbing the side of the island, its gargantuan fingers gripping the edge of the rock not three feet from where Twilight lay. The hand was so large it could have easily held Twilight in it five times over, and it glowed an unsettling electric blue, further illuminating the void. Twilight’s breath caught as another hand suddenly crashed down on the far end of the island, making the floating rock shudder and shake again. Slowly… excruciatingly slowly… a titanic head crested over the side of the island. It glowed the same electric blue as its hands, and his massive face was void of emotion or pity with merely darkened shadows to denote where his eyes and mouth were. Twilight practically choked on her fear as the colossus towered over her. She could only see the beast’s head, and yet it still stretched well over twenty feet above her. Twilight shivered as the creature turned its massive head, its nonexistent eyes boring down upon her tiny form. “TWILIGHT! The purple unicorn suddenly shot up in bed, gasping for breath and choking down air. The star-patterned sheets were soaked through with sweat, and given the mess of books all over the floor from the bookshelves built into her wall, it looked like she might have cast in her sleep. Twilight’s breathing eventually slowed to the point where she let out a long, relieved sigh. “Just a dream…” Twilight mumbled, her head drooping in relief. A sudden knock made Twilight fall out of her bed with a yelp. “Twilight?” a familiar voice came from outside the door. “Are you well?” Twilight blinked as she peeked over the bed. Catching her breath again, the pony chuckled at her own foolishness, trotting over to door and pulling it open with a little flick of her horn. Standing there in the doorway with a neutral but placid look on her face was Princess Zelda. “Ah, Twilight,” she said pleasantly. “Nice to see you again.” “Princess Zelda!” Twilight said, slightly surprised, dipping into a bow on instinct. The princess chuckled. “There is no need for that, Twilight Sparkle. We are all equals here.” Twilight quickly straightened up, an embarrassed blush on her face. “What brings you here?” she asked. “I simply came to see if you were adjusting to your new surroundings well, and to see if you were interested in some breakfast before the first match of the tournament.” Twilight’s stomach suddenly grumbled at the prospect of food. It was only then that she realized she hadn’t eaten since arriving at the Acropolis almost eighteen hours ago. The revelation almost made her double over with hunger. Zelda chuckled again, covering her lips with her gloved hand. “It would seem you are indeed interested.” She straightened up, stepping aside to let Twilight out of the room. Groggily, her mane still unkempt from her restless sleep, Twilight sheepishly stepped out into the hallway. “Did you at least rest well?” Zelda asked. “Sorta.” Twilight yawned. “It’s been an odd shock to my sleep schedule. It was about four in the morning when we were yanked here, and then after a bit of an emotional roller coaster for about ten hours and getting eaten, I think I was ready to crash…” she said, sheepishly scratching the back of her head. Zelda raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I noticed you were sharing a room with Kirby. He is likely already at breakfast,” she said, clearing her throat. “Are you alright? Perhaps I should speak with the little glutton. He knows not to eat people off the battlefield.” “No, it was an accident I think. He was asleep and he yawned and... wait,” she jolted, stopping in her tracks. “You mean he’s allowed to EAT people in matches?!” “Calm yourself,” Zelda said, holding up a hand. “We’re all still here. We don’t understand how it works, but, at least in this world, when Kirby consumes a foe, they reappear perfectly fine moments later.” Twilight blinked. “But that doesn’t make any sense! Nothing about that crazy pink marshmallow makes sense!” she shouted, her mane frizzing even more than it already had. “Indeed,” Zelda said. “If you care to attempt to investigate how Kirby ‘works’ as it were, feel free to try. I’m sure the Acropolis has a laboratory or ten somewhere in its vast confines. We have been here three times now and still not mapped out even a quarter of the structure. I warn you though, attempting to puzzle out Kirby’s many mysteries may be unwise.” Her eyes gained a distant look to them. “That way lies madness.” Twilight sighed. “Sounds like a friend of mine.” “It matters not,” Zelda said, clapping her hands together. “For now, we should gather your friends and make haste to the dining hall, should we not?” Twilight nodded. “Alright. Let’s go see how Fluttershy is first.” “Indeed,” Zelda concurred. “I’m interested in meeting her roommate as well. I am afraid I’m not familiar with him.” Twilight trotted alongside the tall princess’ long strides. “You don’t know anything about the person who’s rooming with Fluttershy?” “Not a thing.” Zelda shook her head. “He was seen around the Great Hall, but nobody recognized him. I hope that your friend might be able to shed some light upon him.” Twilight shivered a little. “I hope he doesn’t turn out to be some kind of thug…” she said softly. “I’d hate for Fluttershy to have to room with a villain.” “I feel much the same,” Zelda said, stepping up to Fluttershy’s door. On the face of the door was a picture of a shyly smiling yellow pegasus and another of a wild-looking man with an open leather vest, a ratty, tooth-rimmed bush hat, frayed jeans, and heavy boots. He had an insane-looking grin and a wild look in his eyes. Twilight blinked. “Well… he doesn’t dress like a criminal mastermind…” Zelda shook her head again. “If there is anything I have learned from these tournaments, it is that looks can be deceiving. Let us hope he does not act like one.” Twilight grasped the handle in her magic, pulling the door open, only to leap back in fright. A massive, scaly, seven-foot alligator was sitting in the doorway, its jaws open wide in a guttural, hissing growl with each of its razor-sharp teeth gleaming in the light of the hallway. The predatory reptile gurgled and growled at them, twisting to snap its jaws at the unicorn and Hylian. “Get back!” Zelda commanded, lifting a hand, sparking with magic. “I shall handle this creature.” “STOP!” came a cry from inside the room. The alligator, Twilight, and the princess all froze as a butter yellow pegasus flew up to the doorway. Alighting next to the massive, predatory reptile, she tapped a hoof on the ground, looking at it with a raised eyebrow. “Now Ollie, are you scaring our guests? You know that isn’t nice, right?” Somehow, the alligator managed to look properly abashed, letting out a low, guttural moan. “I know, but you can’t just go around scaring or attacking people,” Fluttershy said, stroking the gator’s crest. “You’ll never make any friends that way.” The alligator dipped its head until its snout was pushing against the floor. It let out a hiss that sounded almost like a whimper. “Oh don’t worry, I forgive you,” Fluttershy said, wrapping her hooves around the alligator’s neck in a big hug. “Now why don’t you get some fish for yourself out of the cooler?” Ollie Gator seemed to nod, slowly twisting himself around and slinking off into the corner of the room and climbing into a massive cooler, yanking a chilled fish out with his massive jaws. Fluttershy smiled sweetly and turned to Twilight and Zelda. “It’s okay. He won’t hurt you.” “That was remarkable,” Zelda said, a stunned look on her face. “Wherever did you learn to charm animals so?” Fluttershy blinked. “Um… I didn’t actually learn it from anypony…” she mumbled. “It’s just my special talent,” she said, nodding at her cutie mark. “Fascinating,” Zelda said softly. Her eyes flashed with something magical as she gazed upon Fluttershy’s flank. She then turned to Twilight and looked at the mark upon her flank as well. “Truly fascinating.” Fluttershy scuffed a hoof against the ground. “Um… I don’t mean to be rude, but… is there something you wanted?” she said, her voice barely above a squeak. “We just came to ask if you wanted any breakfast,” Twilight said. “That,” Zelda said, the magic dissipating from her eyes, “and to see if we might talk with your roommate.” “Oh, um…” Fluttershy said, hiding behind her mane. “He’s still sleeping right now.” Zelda hemmed and hawed. “Would you particularly mind if I tried to waken him?” “Um…” Fluttershy stammered, edging out of the room and standing behind Twilight. “I guess… he was very loud, though.” Zelda stepped into the room, walking over to the unkempt, country-cabin style bed in the corner. The strange man was snoring heavily, wrapped in the bedspread like it was some kind of cocoon, his head poking out one end and his feet sticking out the other. A drop of drool trickled out the side of his wide-open mouth. Zelda sniffed, grimacing at the thick scent of alcohol lingering on him. Reaching out with a gloved hand, she shook the bedspread-wrapped man. “Sir?” she asked. “Sir, may I speak with you?” The man refused to awaken. Fluttershy shook her head. “I tried to wake him several times last night to ask where he kept food for his alligator,” she said softly. “He wouldn’t wake for anything.” Zelda sighed, an annoyed look crossing her face. “Very well, it seems I shall have to wait to speak with him,” she said, spinning on her heel. “Let us gather your other friend then.” The two ponies and the princess left Fluttershy’s room, the buttery pegasus waving goodbye to Ollie (the others swearing they saw him wave back, to which Twilight didn’t seem to react, but Zelda found quite alarming), and made their way to Applejack’s room. “I see your friend managed to find herself with Princess Peach’s cousin,” Zelda said, amused. “Oh dear,” Fluttershy said. “I hope she isn’t too upset. She isn’t usually keen on being around nobility.” “I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Twilight said, grabbing the latch with her magic. “Applejack’s a mature, responsible-” The door suddenly swung open, smacking Twilight in the face. “Hoo-wee!” Applejack shouted, stumbling on her hooves. “I ain’t got no clue how that fancy magic contraption of yer’s works, Princess, but it sure is a hoot!” From behind the orange farm mare stepped a barefoot woman in yellow, flower-printed pajama pants and a white tank top. “It’s just a TV, Applejack. You seriously don’t have those?” “Owwwwww…” Twilight said, lying on the ground and clutching her nose. Applejack blinked. “Twilight?” she asked, looking around. “Fluttershy? Princess Zelda? What’re y’all doing lurkin’ ‘round our door in the middle of the night?” Princess Zelda raised an eyebrow. “It is half-past nine in the morning,” she said neutrally. Applejack blinked. “Aw shoot, y’all are pullin’ my leg,” she said, turning to Daisy. “How long were we watching them fancy deeveedees of yers?” Daisy yawned before answering. “Well, we managed to get through almost the whole season, and the episodes are 45 minutes long, so…” Daisy scratched her stomach in a very un-princessly manner. “Ugh, math, my old nemesis, we meet again. I guess a little under twelve hours?” “Sweet Celestia!” Applejack jumped, stumbling a little. “Sure as hay didn’t seem that long when watching it!” Daisy nodded. “Time flies when you’re watching Star Toads,” she agreed. “Why didn’t y’all stop puttin’ them deeveedees in then?” Daisy snorted. “You were the one that kept asking to see the next episode. I said we should go to bed about halfway through,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. Applejack opened her mouth to retort, but then shut it and grumbled. “Yeah, yer right…” she suddenly let out a great big yawn. “Hoo, this is gonna be a tough day.” Twilight rubbed her nose, stepping over to the tired farm mare. “Are you going to be okay, AJ?” Applejack nodded, the sleepiness suddenly washing over her now that she realized just how long she had been awake. “I’ve had worse. Y’all remember that time I tried to harvest the whole orchard by myself?” Twilight shuddered. “I don’t think anyone in Ponyville will ever forget.” Applejack chuckled. “I’ll be fine, Twi. Don’tcha worry about me.” Zelda cleared her throat. “As long as she isn’t chosen to compete today, she should be fine, I’m sure.” She turned on her heel and beckoned the rest of the group to follow. “Now come, we would not wish to miss breakfast.” “Oh, sweet!” Daisy chirped. “I’m starving!” She stepped out of the room and kicked the door shut behind her. “Erm… yes,” Zelda said, her eyebrows knitting. “Should you not get properly dressed first, though?” she asked. “Pffft,” Daisy said, waving her off. “Who gets dressed for breakfast?” Zelda blinked, then cleared her throat. “Quite.” She shook off the other princess’s behavior and flagged down a dark green R.O.B. “Excuse us, might you lead us to the dining room?” The R.O.B. beeped and chirruped, spinning around on its base and rolling away, motioning for them to follow with a spin of its arm. “Come along then,” Zelda said to the rest of the group. “We must hurry if we wish to eat before the first match.” * * * Queen Chrysalis awoke with a contented hum. The large changeling stretched her perforated limbs, a crack coming from each one before she stepped out of her green, podlike bed which hung from the wall like a coffin propped up on its end. Stepping down from her sleeping cocoon and onto the black, gnarled floor of fungus, soil, and other fleshy, unknown elements, she beat her wings, shaking off any fluid from her pod that remained on them. Twisted, filmy, rootlike structures ran up and down the walls and ceiling of her side of the room, dripping with green ooze while everything was lit by glowing blue-green fungus. Sharp stalactites hung from the ceiling, wrapped by the green, cord-like vines that pulsated every so often. The Changeling Queen lit her horn and one of the fleshy, black tentacle vines unfurled itself from the wall and presented her with a dry, fluffy towel. Taking the towel in her magic, she rubbed her face clean of anything that might have accumulated upon it in her sleep, quickly wiping the rest of her limbs and core dry of the slime. With another spell cast, a set of needle-like teeth suddenly sprouted from the ceiling above her, stretching down with the sound of creaking bone and tissue. The Changeling Queen didn’t flinch as the teeth neared the top of her skull, instead remaining perfectly still as they poked at her green mane. Then, improbably, the teeth started to move along her hair, combing it into place. Another set of teeth sprouted from the floor, doing the same for her tail. A flabby tentacle vine sprouted from the wall, inching over towards the Queen from behind, wrapping around her belly before slowly slithering towards her mouth. The Queen opened her mouth to let the tentacle in, allowing it to spray a strange slimy film into her mouth. She closed her mouth, swishing the odd fluid around a little, before spitting it into a mushroom with a seemingly-upturned cap. The fluid was quickly absorbed by the leathery fungus. Chrysalis cast another spell, forcing several of the fleshy vines to separate from one another on the wall, revealing a pristine mirror beneath. The Queen grinned into the mirror, looking herself over. “Perfect…” she purred, snapping her teeth in the mirror. “MMPH! MMMMPH!!!” The queen flicked her eyes over to her roommate’s side of the room. It was astonishingly dull for her tastes. The floor, walls, and ceiling were all made of large gray bricks and the floor along the walls was piled high with gold coins and various other treasures. A massive, gold-plated, king-sized bed rested against the opposite wall from Chrysalis, done up with a red bedspread, while an ornate red rug sat at the foot of the bed. Pictures of small, dragonlike creatures lined the walls, as well as one picture of a blonde woman in pink. A massive gold chandelier hung from the ceiling, lit with blue flames. Directly above the bed was an absolutely massive portrait of her roommate himself, crossing his beastly arms in smug triumph and giving a vicious, toothy grin to any who dared look upon it. At least it would, if she hadn’t plastered her roommate to the portrait, right where its face was. “MMMPH MMPH MRRGHMMP!!” came her roommate’s muffled screams of outrage. His muzzle was bound by thick, green, slimy cords of calcified ooze, as were his arms, which were bound to his sides and his legs which were bound together. His yellow tail poked out from the wrappings, making him look like a big, fat, green mummy with a yellow dragon’s tail. All that could be seen aside from the tail were the odd patches of skin that she hadn’t needed to cover to secure him and the top half of his beastly, reptilian face. Unlike the rest of him, the top of his head was covered by horns, sitting above green scales and surrounding fiery red eyes which sat at the crest of a pale yellow muzzle. His red hair was matted with slick goop, and his eyes spoke of murder. “Now then…” Chrysalis asked. “Are you going to behave?” “MMMPGH GRMMMPH CRRMMMPMPH!” “Tsk tsk,” Chrysalis taunted. “I won’t let you out if you don’t agree to play nice,” she said, buzzing over to him and bopping him on the end of his nose. “Besides, such language is hardly befitting of a King. Accept your defeat and I’ll let you go,” she said, her voice falsely saccharine. A low growling noise came from the back of King Bowser’s throat before finally he seemed to slump, his eyes darting off to look at some far corner of the room. “There’s a good Koopa.” Chrysalis chuckled triumphantly as she buzzed up into the air with her insectoid wings. “Now give me just a second,” she said, as her mouth suddenly seemed to fill with a yellow substance. The yellow fluid dripped from her mouth as she hovered over the king. Bowser grunted in disgust as the yellow drool poured over him. After mere moments, though, the green ooze started to dissolve, setting him free as he fell atop his bed with a wet ‘splat!’ With a hacking cough, the King of the Koopas hocked out a wad of green, translucent goop before groaning and collapsing atop his massive bed. “There now,” Chrysalis said. “Is that better?” “Go stick a poisoned mushroom up your--” “Oh come now,” Chrysalis tsked. “You needn't be so hostile, Bowser dear. Now you simply know not to try and attack the ‘teeny little bug pony.’” Bowser grumbled. “I’m off to get some breakfast,” Chrysalis said, sweetly. “I’m sure there must be some good vibrations around the dining room I can snack on. You just rest there, Bowser. You look exhausted. Au revoir!” she sang, shutting the door behind her. Bowser let out a long groan, rolling over in his bed and pulling his big red blanket over him. Before long, though, his groan turned into a chuckling, scratchy laugh. “She’s tough. I like her.” * * * The R.O.B. led the group of five down a long hallway and then a rather sizable flight of stairs on their way to the dining hall. Twilight and the others couldn’t help but ogle all the massive decorations and rooms that they passed on their way. Multiple times, Twilight would ask about rooms they passed, only to be disappointed when Zelda would shrug and say she didn’t know what most of the rooms were for. “Sadly,” Zelda explained, “most of the rooms in this place we aren’t even familiar with. The Acropolis is so vast that we who have been here before have only yet managed to explore a small fraction of the structure. And most of what we have explored is in the lower levels, with only a few excursions into select towers and spires.” “Y’all mean to tell me…” Applejack began, “that we don’t even know what’s goin’ on in half a’ this building?” she asked, incredulously. “Isn’t that a mite dangerous? What if there’s, I dunno, giant killer centipedes in the other parts of the building or something?” Zelda chuckled. “I find that unlikely. Nobody has been attacked in the Acropolis before by anything other than other contenders. Well…” Zelda trailed off, “other contenders and the armies of subspace.” She cleared her throat. “However, that force was soundly defeated. We shan’t encounter them again.” “Still, aren’t you curious?” Twilight asked. “I mean, there’s so much you might discover in this place. Technology that could jump our worlds ahead by centuries or new magic that could revolutionize arcane theory! Or maybe even portals home!” she ranted, frustrated. “How can you not even bother to look?” Zelda arched an eyebrow. “You misunderstand, Twilight Sparkle. We have tried to map out the Acropolis.” Twilight blinked. “Wait... are you saying--?” Zelda nodded. “The structure is vast. A city unto itself, with a mere fifty inhabitants. In the years that we’ve been here, we have not been capable of mapping out all of it. What little we know largely comes from asking the R.O.B.s to take us places. Or, in previous tournaments, the job was filled by creatures known as ‘polygons,’ ‘wire frames,’ or ‘alloys.’” Twilight looked around at the doors they were passing by. “And you never bothered to inspect the rooms you’d pass by on the way to places?” “Rooms can often be several miles apart at a time,” Zelda said. “More often than not, we find it prudent not to dawdle.” “Still…” Twilight said, trotting up to a plain-looking door. “How can you not be curious?” she asked, grabbing hold of the handle and giving it a twist. Pulling the door open, she found herself staring into a seemingly empty room. Twilight blinked for a moment, trotting in and wondering what the purpose of the chamber was when all of a sudden, a massive stone block carved in the shape of a ‘T’ fell from above, mere inches away from her face. Twilight fell backwards, just in time for another giant block shaped like an ‘L’ to fall to earth right where she was standing. The unicorn looked up, only to see a vast, empty black void above her and dozens of cuboid stones falling towards her in the shapes of squares, lines, and zigzags. Twilight yelped and quickly darted out the door, slamming it shut behind her and panting heavily. “Is your curiosity satisfied?” Zelda asked, amused. Daisy was doubled over in laughter. “Why, in the name of Equestria, is there a Falling Rocks room?!” Twilight shouted, shaking against the door. “If you haven’t yet figured it out, Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Zelda said, calmly, “there is a lot about this place that we cannot make sense of.” She raised an eyebrow. “Now, though, you might understand why we do not randomly go pulling open doors?” Twilight nodded, her throat dry. “Let’s just… get to the Dining Hall,” she mumbled. “Yeah, come on!” Daisy said, whining a little. “We’re wasting away over here!” “Come along then,” Zelda said, motioning to the company. “We shan’t tarry any longer.” She smiled, following the R.O.B. to the end of the hallway where they made a right turn down another corridor. They walked for another few minutes before coming to a large set of bright red double doors with a gold frame. “Looks fancy,” Applejack muttered. “They ain’t gonna be servin’ us frou-frouey stuff like Quiche or Eggs Bennydict or what not, are they?” Zelda chuckled slyly. “I can almost guarantee you, Miss Applejack, that you will find something you won’t mind eating,” she said, nodding to the R.O.B. The little robot nodded and pushed open the two massive doors, revealing the room beyond. The three little ponies’ eyes widened, impressed at the scale of the room. Set up inside were ten long tables with enough space to seat the population of the Acropolis five times over. At the far end of the room was an even longer table, set up perpendicularly to the ten seating tables and absolutely overloaded with all kinds of breakfast foods from dry, plain cereals and toasts, to the fanciest quiches, souffles, and crepes, to the sugariest, most tooth-rotting donuts and cinnamon buns. The ceiling stretched at least as high as the Great Hall’s did and was decorated with mosaics that seemed to depict more scenes from the contestants’ lives. Twilight observed one of Mario tossing that Bowser monster into a spiked ball, and another of Samus facing down what looked to be a giant brain in a jar. Looking closer, she could even see one of herself and her friends hitting Nightmare Moon with the Elements of Harmony. Twilight couldn’t help but feel flattered at that. Large chandeliers dangled from the ceiling, lit with bright, flickering torches which illuminated the plush, yellow and red trimmed room. The walls were decorated with bright red, white, and gold wallpaper and the clean, white tablecloths were also trimmed with gold. Twilight’s hooves sunk into the plush red carpet as she trotted into the room to look around. It seemed that most of the population of the Acropolis was already here. At least thirty-five of the other contestants were all sitting and eating, either chatting with other members of the tournament or sitting off alone somewhere, keeping to themselves. “Wow…” Twilight said with a little gasp. “It’s even bigger than the great dining hall at Canterlot Castle.” “It does look a touch fancy for me, but I’m impressed,” AJ muttered, nodding to herself. “Oh my…” Fluttershy gaped. Zelda motioned to the far side of the room. “Feel free to help yourself. If there’s one thing we’ve learned, there is absolutely no shortage of food here.” “Thank you, Princess Zelda!” Twilight said with a respectful bow before trotting off among her friends to raid the massive buffet table. Zelda moved to object to the bow but by the time she opened her mouth, the three little ponies had run off. The Princess of Hyrule sighed, losing her proper posture for a barely perceptible moment, only to jolt as she felt somebody patting her on the back. Twirling, her long skirt billowing as she turned on her heel, she saw Daisy, nodding sagely at her. “I know that feel, sister,” Daisy said somberly. Zelda couldn’t tell if she was being sincere or if she was just joking around. She didn’t have a chance to ask as Daisy too quickly ran off towards the buffet table herself. The three little ponies quickly managed to fill up large plates with their various breakfasts of choice. Applejack hovered around the fruit section, picking up apples and other fruits while Fluttershy picked more delicate fare, such as quiches and crepes. Twilight, on the other hoof, hovered around sections of the buffet table that held foods she didn’t recognize. The studious unicorn read the various labels on the collected dishes, looking for things that came from other worlds. ‘After all,’ she reasoned, ‘half the point of this tournament is cultural exchange. It’s only right that I try some of my competitors’ native fare.’ There was a little problem with this plan, though; most of the labels Twilight could read. It seemed that, against all odds, a number of the various other worlds seemed to use the same written script as Equestria, and she noticed a fair amount of meat around the table, which she couldn’t help but grimace at. Of course, there were omnivorous species in Equestria, like the Griffins and the Diamond Dogs, for example. But while Twilight did not mean to judge her fellow contenders by their diets, she had no intention of eating meat anytime soon. Twilight hemmed and hawed as she trotted around the table, only to stop at what looked like an odd stew of some kind or another. It was a greenish-brown broth with what looked to be large, colorful chunks of vegetable in it. Twilight, though, couldn’t read the script upon the label. Whatever was in the stew looked safe enough to eat, but she didn’t feel it worth risking in case there was-- “Pikpik carrot and Hocotate onion stew,” came a voice from behind her. Twilight jumped a little, turning to see a short, mostly bald man with a large nose and a big head wearing what looked to be a bulky yellow and red suit. “I’m sorry?” Twilight stammered. The little man pointed at the big pot on the table with the colorful veggies and broth. “The dish you’re looking at. It’s a Hocotatian dish called ‘Pikpius.’ It’s made from Pikpik carrots and Hocotate onions. No meat in it at all.” “Oh, thank you!” Twilight said with a surprised smile. The purple unicorn turned to grab a bowl and ladle with her magic only to stop. She turned back to the little man with a suspicious eyebrow raised. “How did you know I was looking for something without meat?” she asked. “Hm?” The small, funny-looking man cocked his head. “Oh, that was because of your teeth.” “My… teeth?” Twilight asked, opening her mouth a little and feeling around with her tongue. “Your teeth are flat and ridged, like an herbivore’s,” he said, pointing at Twilight’s mouth. “You have incisors and canines, suggesting that you can eat meat, but they are small, flatter, and less pronounced when compared to a creature with a carnivorous or omnivorous diet, suggesting your species does not eat meat often.” The little man pointed at her hooves. “Furthermore, your body structure and stance are reminiscent of other herbivores on multiple planets, suggesting that you are, or are at least descended from, herding prey animals as opposed to any sort of predator species. I’m no anthropologist, but such a species seems like it might develop some cultural taboo against eating meat if it were to evolve to the point where it could form a proper civilization.” Twilight blinked, stupefied. She shook her head rapidly in an attempt to get her bearings. “That’s… right,” she stuttered. “All of that is right. How in Equestria did you figure all of that out?” “I’m a xenobiologist,” the little man said proudly before sighing. “Or at least, I should be. I have a PhD and everything. But the economy is so terrible back on my planet that the only job I could get was as a delivery boy.” “A delivery boy?” Twilight asked, incredulously. “But that’s ridiculous! You could immediately infer a lot of information about my species’ diet, evolutionary history, and even my culture just from a glance!” The little man shrugged. “It’s really just a hobby at this point. I don’t get to use it very often,” he said, looking down at his own feet, mumbling sadly. Twilight frowned for a moment, looking at the little man intently before letting out a puff of air and putting on her most winning smile. She held a hoof out to the funny-looking man and introduced herself. “My name is Twilight Sparkle.” she said, encouragingly. The little man blinked a moment, his small eyes widening a little before he too smiled and grasped her hoof. “Captain Olimar,” he said. Twilight smiled, scooping herself a large bowl of the viscous ‘Pikpius’ with her telekinesis before pointing at a table. “Would you like to sit with me, Olimar? I’m sure we’ll have a lot to talk about.” Captain Olimar grinned, moving to scoop himself a bowl of the alien soup. “I think I’d like that, Twilight Sparkle.” * * * Applejack trotted around the large table in the center of the room where most of the contenders had congregated, a large plate of fruit balanced on her head. Stifling a yawn, the tired farm pony quickly found a seat next to a strange man in a red helmet and blue jumpsuit. “Okay if I sit here, pardner?” she asked the man. The strange man quickly turned and looked down at her suspiciously through his face-obscuring mask, his eyes appearing as little more than white slits to the farm pony. “That depends…” he said guardedly. Applejack blinked, shuffling nervously. “Er… depends on what?” The man held up a donut in a yellow gloved hand and glared accusingly at her. “Are you going to steal my donuts?” he asked dangerously. The farmer raised an eyebrow. “Um… no?” “Then sure!” the man said, his whole demeanor changing as his face lifted into a bright, slightly cocky grin. With a swift kick, he knocked the chair away from the table and motioned for Applejack to sit down. “Name’s Douglas Falcon. Friends call me Captain Falcon,” he said, holding out his hand. “Applejack,” the pony said, setting the plate of fruit down on the table and lifting a hoof to shake his hand. “Oh I know who you are,” Captain Falcon said. “You and your friends are kinda the talk of the tournament at the moment.” “We are?” Applejack said, cocking her head as she sat down in the chair and pulled herself up to her plate. “Oh yeah,” Captain Falcon said, reaching out to pick up a donut, only to grab nothing but air. The captain looked perplexedly at his empty hand and the empty space in front of him, only to catch sight of a fat man in yellow and a tall lanky man in purple and black running away from the two of them, a plate of donuts held above the fat man’s head triumphantly as the two of them laughed. “Damn punks!” the captain shouted, slamming his hands on the table and leaping to his feet. “Hold that thought, Applejack, I’ll be right back,” he growled, giving chase after the retreating forms of Wario and Waluigi. Applejack blinked, following the three of them with her eyes as the two brothers burst out the door of the dining room, Captain Falcon giving chase not far behind. “Well that was weird,” came a voice from behind her. AJ turned to see that Princess Daisy had taken a seat next to her where Captain Falcon had been sitting. The princess sat with the chair turned around, the back of the chair facing the table and one arm propped up on top of the backrest as she stuffed a cinnamon bun into her mouth. “Those two are always causing trouble just for the fun of it. Doesn’t usually get too bad, but sometimes, if they get roped into something on the back of a bigger fish, they can actually get dangerous,” she said, talking with her mouth full. Swallowing, Daisy took a swig of some sort of juice and wiped her mouth with her arm. “They’re usually bright enough to stay outta Sarasaland, though... At least they have been ever since that business with Wario at the Golden Pyramid, anyway,” she chuckled, cracking her knuckles. Applejack, however, wasn’t paying much attention. The farm pony shuddered a little, looking around to see that a lot of the contestants were looking right at her. “Ain’t sure I like the thought of being the ‘talk o’ the tournament’ much.” “Hmm?” Daisy asked, looking down at her new friend. “What’s up?” Applejack sighed. “I was just gettin’ used to bein’ surrounded by a buncha aliens and the like, but now I find out that they’re all talkin’ about me behind my back. I get that we got here weird and everybody’s on edge and whatnot, but we ain’t got nothin’ sinister or nothin’ planned.” Daisy patted the pony on the back, causing her to seize up a little before relaxing. “Don’t worry about it too much, ponygirl,” she said, rocking back and forth in her backwards chair. “They aren’t so much talking about you as much as what your being here means.” “Still don’t sit right with me.” Applejack looked around at the collected contenders, noticing several of them suddenly turning their heads away from her as she moved to look at them. “Eh,” Daisy said, picking at her teeth with her pinkie finger. “If what Peach has said to me is true, they’re mostly good people. They’ll let up talking about you if you give it time. Just relax, girl.” “Daisy Wilhelmina Rosepetal!” came a stern voice from behind the pair. The yellow-garbed princess groaned. “Speak of the harpy.” Applejack turned to see a blonde woman in a pink, poofy dress with blue earrings and accents stomping up to the table. “Daisy, what do you think you’re doing?!” Daisy stuffed a piece of cinnamon bun in her mouth, replying, “I’m eating.” “You’re not even dressed!” Peach said, looking at her aghast. “And stop wiping your mouth with your arms! At least pretend you have a sense of decorum, won’t you?!” Daisy stuck her tongue out at Peach and chomped down on another bun. “Lighten up, Peachy. It’s not like any of my ‘subjects’ are here to see me.” “That hardly matters,” Peach said, grabbing the bun from her cousin and throwing it down on the plate. “And stop eating such junk! You have to maintain a proper diet if you want to keep your figure.” “Pfffft,” Daisy snorted. “Maybe you have to watch what you eat, Peachy, but that’s just ‘cause you sit on your throne all day. If you bothered to lift a weight or punch a bag once in a while, you might actually be able to eat those fancy cakes you like to bake so much.” “Baking and cake decorating are perfectly acceptable hobbies, unlike the sorts of things you engage yourself in,” Peach snapped. Daisy glared. “Oh, sure. Martial arts aren’t ‘ladylike’ enough for Princess Peach. Even though she gets kidnapped every other week and her kingdom constantly beset by a dragon with an incompetent military that has been deterred dozens of times by mere squads of Sarasaland forces, it would simply be unthinkable for the great Princess Peach to even think about learning how to fight for herself.” “I’ll have you know…” Peach seethed, “that when push comes to shove I am quite capable of defending myself.” “With what? Frying pans and girly hip swinging?” Daisy scoffed. “And how many of these Smash matches have you won with that?” Peach sniffed and straightened up, turning on her heel. “I suppose you’ll find out. Act like a slob if you like then. See if I care.” The pink-garbed princess stomped down past the table and pulled open the door sharply, slamming it behind her as she left the room. Applejack blinked as Daisy snorted and shoved another bun in her mouth. “I think I’m missing something here?” Daisy sighed, chewing thoughtfully. “Just a family spat that’s been going on for… probably just short of twenty years now…” Applejack whistled. “That long?” she asked. “Yeah.” Daisy sighed. “No biggie.” Applejack looked down at her still full plate of food. “At least y’all got family to spat with. Applebloom, Big Mac, and Granny Smith’re all back home on the farm while I’m stuck here.” Daisy patted her on the back again. “Don’t worry about that. You’ll see them again.” “Yeah, but in how long? Eight months? A year? Mario went’n said that this tournament takes a while.” She looked at Daisy sadly. “I ain’t never gone that long without my family around. Not even the time I ran off to Manehattan.” Daisy looked at her plate of cinnamon buns quietly. “I wouldn’t know how it feels, I guess.” “What d’ya mean?” Applejack asked. “Don’t you have a family waiting back home for ya?” Daisy was silent for a moment before pushing her plate away. “It doesn’t matter.” Applejack shrugged. “I think it does. Ain’t nothin’ more important than family.” Daisy twitched at her words, but Applejack kept going. “If Peach there is your kin, fussy, prissy, and frou-frouey as she seems, yer lucky to have her here. ‘N frankly, I don’t think y’all should let a little spat ruin how y’all behave ‘round each other.” Daisy slammed her hands on the table, causing Applejack to jump. “How about you mind your own business?!” Daisy snapped as she wheeled around, turning a dangerous eye on the pony. The princess pushed back from the table and stood up. “You don’t know anything about us, okay Applejack? So how about you keep your sagely country-folksy advice to yourself on this one and don’t put your nose where it doesn’t belong?” she snapped, turning on a bare foot and stomping out the very same door Peach had left through not moments earlier, leaving Applejack dumbfoundedly staring after her. The princess bumped into Captain Falcon on the way out before slamming the door behind her. Applejack couldn’t help but stare and blink after her. “What in the hay just happened?!” she asked herself as she replayed what had just occurred back in her head. The first person who she could call a friend here had just blown up in her face and told her off, just for suggesting that she should settle a spat with a cousin. The farm pony couldn’t imagine what had just happened to bring that about. The captain looked perplexed for a moment, hanging by the door he had just entered back through before heading back to his place at the table next to Applejack. “Ooh, cinnamon buns!” he said, sitting back down. “You gonna eat these?” Applejack shook her head. “Sweet!” the captain said, reaching for one, only for the plate of buns to suddenly lift off the table and sail across the room into the maw of a giant blue penguin. “Dammit, Dedede!” * * * Fluttershy hid behind her mane a little, watching Twilight wander off with another contestant. Part of her was tempted to follow and sit with them, but she froze a little when they sat down right next to a bunch of other strange and frightening-looking creatures. Fluttershy had been hoping that she and her friends could all sit together at a table, away from all the other incredibly intimidating contestants. The yellow pegasus shivered, the plate balanced on her back wobbling a little but dropping nothing. Fluttershy looked for Applejack, hoping to sit with her instead, only to see her seated with that Daisy woman, and Fluttershy wasn’t sure she liked her so much. She seemed loud and maybe a little mean. After all, she laughed when Twilight almost got hit by a giant rock back in the hallway. Fluttershy whimpered a little, looking for a place she could sit alone, but every table was taken up by somebody or another. Most of the supposed ‘good guys’ were sitting together in the middle tables of the room, creating a fairly large crowd that Fluttershy didn’t want to get into the middle of. On the other hoof, the creatures sitting in more isolated places along the other tables were the ones that looked to be of the more ‘villainous’ persuasion, and she didn’t fancy sitting near any of them either. Fluttershy looked around the cavernous room for a moment before finally pinpointing a strange-looking man off in a corner of the room. He didn’t seem particularly villainous, but at the same time looked isolated enough that maybe, just maybe, she might be able to approach him and not completely lose her nerve. Fluttershy gulped and slowly crept over toward him, trying to keep herself as small and unnoticeable as possible before she finally managed to make it to the table where the man was sitting, staring at a plate of fried eggs. “Ummm… Hello?” Fluttershy squeaked. The strange man looked up. He had a stern-looking face that made Fluttershy shrink in on herself, but she didn’t sense any hostility from him either. “Hey,” the man said, gruffly, scratching at his beard and turning back to his eggs, poking at them with a fork. Fluttershy scooted up to the edge of the table and placed the plate atop it, scooting into a chair. “M-my name is Fluttershy.” The man didn’t bother to look up as he replied. “Snake,” he said. “Oh!” Fluttershy suddenly brightened. “Your name is Snake? How nice. Do you like snakes?” Snake looked at the little pony, an eyebrow raised. “Not really.” Fluttershy wilted a little, her ears turning down and her face turning into an embarrassed frown. “Oh… sorry…” The two of them sat in awkward silence for a moment. Fluttershy poked at her breakfast with a hoof, occasionally bringing a piece of quiche up to her mouth and taking a dainty bite while Snake moved his eggs around on his plate with his fork. Fluttershy did everything she could to try and avoid eye contact, but she could feel Snake’s heavy stare lingering upon her. Every so often she would dare to cast a fleeting glance up at her observer, only to dart her eyes away again. The strange man was looking at her with a calculating but puzzled gaze, one gloved hand occasionally reaching up to scratch his beard. Fluttershy was quickly coming to the conclusion that she’d picked the wrong person to sit with. She didn’t feel necessarily unsafe sitting next to the man. It was obvious that he was sizing her up, but not like a piece of meat or some sort of prey. Rather, like she was some sort of mystery or obstacle to be overcome. It made her feel, not so much in danger, but certainly uncomfortable. She could feel beads of sweat dripping down the back of her neck and her wings twitched a little, ready to fly away should his demeanor change. The mood quickly lifted when she heard Snake give out a long, grumbling sigh. The pegasus dared a glance up and saw him leaning back in his seat, gazing at her almost tiredly. “Is there something you want?” he asked. “Um…” Fluttershy muttered. “N-not really. It’s just… you were sitting here all alone and I… well… I didn’t want to sit with a big crowd, so…” “So you risked coming to sit with one of the folks that everybody else avoids?” Snake raised an eyebrow. Fluttershy stuttered. “W-well… you didn’t seem very mean or dangerous, so… I guess I just thought it would be… safer?” Snake chuckled, his mouth lifting into a grim smile. “You need to rethink your instincts, kid. What makes you think I’m safe to be around?” Fluttershy’s eyes darted back and forth. “Um… well… you weren’t glaring at the other people here like you wanted to hurt them for one thing.” Fluttershy pointed at a man in black armor with green skin and bright red hair across the room. “I mean, that person, for example. He’s looking at Link like he wants to hurt him really badly.” Snake looked up to see the little pony pointing across the room at Ganondorf. Indeed, the villainous, green sorcerer was looking across the room, glaring directly at the green-garbed hero with barely restrained rage in his eyes. “You were just over here, slumped over your plate,” Fluttershy continued. “You looked lonely more than anything. Maybe a little scary, but not dangerous.” “Hnnnh…” Snake said, his face not betraying any emotion. Deep down, he was slightly impressed by how observant the little yellow pony was, but not an iota of that made it to his expression. “Not everything is always how it looks.” Fluttershy took a deep breath. “Well, no,” she said, “but not everything is always some big lie or secret either.” “You’d be surprised,” Snake grumbled, his eyes suddenly going far away, drifting from Fluttershy and off into a corner of the room. The two of them sat in silence again for a minute before Snake turned back to Fluttershy, who was still watching him, no longer seeming intimidated but rather fascinated. Her wings were no longer twitching, but instead folded neatly behind her back as she looked intently at him, her head cocked a little. “What?” Snake snapped. “Oh, um,” Fluttershy’s ears drooped and she hid her face behind her mane, ducking down a little. “Nothing… it’s nothing.” Snake sighed again, stabbing an egg with his fork and quickly wolfing down a large chunk. “So, what did you do to get in here?” Fluttershy blinked, turning back to him. “What do you mean?” Snake pointed across the room, continuing to stab eggs and shovel them into his mouth. Fluttershy followed his finger to see he was pointing straight at Mario, sitting across the room from them. “Mario threw a dragon into a pit of lava to save a princess.” He moved his finger to a boyish, winged fellow sitting next to the plumber. “Pit defeated the Goddess of the Underworld and saved his people.” He finally pointed to himself. “I blew up a giant robot. Three times. What did you do to get here?” The little pony blushed. “Oh, well… it really wasn’t much.” “Girlie, nobody gets here for just being an average Tom, Dick, or Harry,” Snake grunted. “W-well…” she stuttered, blushing even harder and hiding behind her mane again, “I might have helped save Equestria a few times… I didn’t really play as big a part as my friends though. I’m really not that special.” “Don’t believe that for a second,” Snake muttered. “I’m sorry?” Fluttershy squeaked. “Like I said,” Snake grumbled. “You don’t get in here by being average. Can’t say I know what, but the Hand sees something in you that you don’t see.” “O-oh…” Fluttershy mumbled, her face bright red. “Well… um… thank you.” “Not a compliment. Just saying it like it is,” Snake grunted, turning back to his eggs. Fluttershy smiled meekly, only for a new voice to snap her out of her comfort. “Well, isn’t this sweet.” The little pegasus stiffened, but dared not look as she heard another body slide into the chair next to hers. Her body seized as she felt a black, chitinous hoof drape over her withers, the large form of Queen Chrysalis sidling close to her. Fluttershy squeaked weakly as she felt the Queen take hold of her head and pull it closely into her breast. “I mean that literally,” she cooed mockingly. “The taste of your budding friendship is really quite delicious. A nice little cocktail of curiosity, respect, and just enough nervousness to give it a kick. You really make for some delectable pickings, dear Fluttershy.” She looked over Snake, sizing him up like a piece of meat. “I must say, I’m surprised in your choice of friends, though. So much bitterness in this one.” She smacked her lips before looking down at Fluttershy. “You really need to learn to pick them better, my little pony. I don’t see this one opening up to you like one of your injured vermin anytime soon. He doesn’t seem to care about much.” “Please get off…” Fluttershy squeaked, so softly she could barely be heard. “Oh come now, dear Fluttershy. You mustn’t be so rude,” Chrysalis said, stroking the shivering pony’s mane. “Why would you push me away? It’s hardly becoming of the Element of Kindness, and so unlike you to turn away a hungry creature…” She turned Fluttershy’s head to face hers, her eyes flashing green. A pink energy started to drain out of the pegasus, collecting in the Queen’s mouth. “Please… please stop…” Fluttershy squeaked, screwing her eyes shut. “Oh, why would I do that?” Queen Chrysalis chuckled. “I haven’t had a good well of emotion to draw off of in months, since I was trapped in that accursed castle. And right now, your friends are too busy making time for their new friends to help poor, little, abandoned Fluttershy. It seems the perfect time to sneak in a light meal,” she murred, humming deeply as she drew more pink energy out of the pegasus. “Or perhaps a heavy one. It’s not like you have a shortage of love, after all.” “That’s enough.” The flow of energy stopped as the Queen turned to look across the table. Snake stood, his hands clasped around a metal, L-shaped object that Chrysalis didn’t recognize. She sneered at him. “Do you mind? I’m eating here.” “As a matter of fact,” Snake said, leveling the strange object at her, “I do mind.” He jerked his strange device to the side and then back at her. “Now back off, bug.” The queen raised an eyebrow. “Oh come now. I can barely sense the faintest trace of care in you. What does it matter to you if I do lunch with my friend Fluttershy here?” “I said back off. I’m not going to ask you again.” Chrysalis chuckled. “Oh? And if I refuse?” Snake lowered his weapon slightly to the side, only for a bright flash to emit from the end of it and a loud BANG to resound through the hall. The noise made Queen Chrysalis jump, releasing her captive and scrabbling back a few paces. Fluttershy squealed in fright, covering her head with her hooves and ducking under the table. “What in the hive was that?!” Chrysalis hissed, staring at the smoking hole now in the table that hadn’t been there a split second before. “Snake!” a voice shouted from across the room. The Queen and Snake looked up to see that every occupant in the room was now looking directly at them. At the front of the crowd, hands on her hips, was Princess Zelda. “What did we say about guns?!” the irate princess snapped. Snake grumbled, holstering the weapon. “Fluttershy!” Twilight shouted as she and Applejack galloped up to her. “What happened? Are you okay?” “What in the hay were y’all doin to her?!” Applejack snapped, wheeling on the Queen. Queen Chrysalis sneered. “Just snacking. You really shouldn’t overreact so much, Applejack.” “You were feeding off of her!” Twilight looked aghast. “How dare you go after my friends like that?!” Queen Chrysalis waved her off. “Oh please, a little skimming off the top never hurt anypony.” “Tell that to my brother!” Twilight snarled. “Oh yes…” Queen Chrysalis tapped her chin. “He was very filling. I’d almost forgotten about him. How is dear little Shiny, anyw-OOF!” The Queen was suddenly hurled back as a blast of purple magic caught her in the chest. The whole room stared in shock as Queen Chrysalis sailed back over forty feet before colliding with the far wall, sliding to the floor a moment later. “Twilight!” Fluttershy and Applejack both gasped. The purple unicorn was pawing at the ground with a hoof, her horn glowing an angry red-purple while her eyes shone with a fiery white light. The Queen picked herself up from the ground and shook her head, flashing Twilight with a toothy, fanged grin. “That’s the spirit, Twilight. It’s a fighting tournament, after all! Let’s see how much you can dish out!” The Queen suddenly reared up and disappeared in a burst of green fire, appearing again in a flash of flame not a foot from Twilight, ready to bring her hooves down upon the little pony’s head. A flash of yellow came from nowhere and the two combatants were suddenly sent spinning. The Queen stumbled, falling to her hooves with her back to the purple pony. Twilight lost balance as the glow in her horn sparked, sending a purple fireball into the far wall away from the changeling queen before toppling to the ground. Taking a second to get their bearings, the two turned to see Mario standing before them, a golden cape in his hand. “That’s enough out of you both!” he snapped, looking disappointed at Twilight and angry at Chrysalis. The plumber reached back and stuffed the silky golden cape into his back pocket, fixing the both of them with a pointed glare. “If you have to have a grudge match, go out to any of the stages around here, but no fighting where the other contestants are going to get caught in the crossfire!” Mario turned on Twilight. “Now you get yourself under control,” he said before turning to the Queen, “and you, no feeding on the other contestants.” He shook his head. “That shouldn’t even be a thing I have to say!” Queen Chrysalis snarled. “And when I collapse from starvation? What then?” Mario’s eyes narrowed. “If you can get somebody to feed you willingly then fine, but no taking anything by force. We can’t have that around here.” The Queen snorted, turning on her hoof. “If we could get emotion willingly we wouldn’t have to steal it in the first place,” she grumbled, stomping through the silent dining hall and out the massive double doors. Mario turned back to look at Twilight, whose head was drooping and her eyes downcast. “I’m sorry, Mario,” she said, her voice abashed. Mario sighed. “Many of us have to deal with our enemies being closer than we’d like and taunting us every day, Twilight. We can’t just attack them willy nilly. If we did it’d be chaos.” “I know… I’m sorry I lost control.” The plumber nodded, only to jump a little as a siren suddenly started sounding through the dining hall. The contestants, who had all been watching the intense scene before them with interest suddenly started to get up and file towards the door. “What in tarnation?!” Applejack shouted, grabbing her hat and turning the sides down over her ears. Fluttershy squealed, clamping her hooves over her ears and darting beneath her chair. “Mario?” Twilight looked around, panicked. “What’s going on?! Are we being attacked by something?” The siren’s noise quickly tapered off and went silent as Mario chuckled and waved her off. “Don’t worry, Twilight. That’s just the sound to let us know that a match is about to begin!” he said, turning around and walking to the exit with the rest of the contestants. “Come along now. We need to get to the Great Hall!” The three little ponies looked between each other before shrugging. Twilight and Applejack followed quickly after Mario but Fluttershy held back a little. The little yellow pegasus poked her nose over the side of the table, looking at Snake, who had only just gotten up from his seat. “Um…” she said softly. “Snake?” “Hrm?” the grizzled man asked around a strange, smoking stick in his mouth. “I just wanted to say… thanks for getting Chrysalis to back off,” she said, looking down a little. Snake raised an eyebrow but said nothing. “I mean… I don’t know how changeling feeding works but,” Fluttershy stuttered, trying to get her bearings. “I mean, it can’t be good for ponies. And you didn’t have to do anything to stop her so… thanks,” she said with a blush. “Don’t mention it,” Snake grunted, walking towards the door with long strides. Fluttershy smiled and followed him through the door and out towards the Great Hall. * * * The Great Hall filled most of the way up relatively quickly. Most of the contestants had been in the general vicinity of the Dining Hall when the siren went off, so they mostly all arrived around the same time. Some of the contestants, though, had been elsewhere in the massive structure of the Acropolis and took longer to show up. Fluttershy’s roommate, for example, took several minutes to show, clutching his head like it was about to burst and refusing to speak to anybody. The scene had been very similar to the previous evening as they waited for everybody to arrive. The contestants simply mingled amongst each other, like old friends for the most part, and like nothing had even happened back in the Dining Hall. Twilight assumed that that couldn’t have been the first time something like that had happened and that most of the contestants were used to the occasional outburst. That didn’t stop the three ponies from getting the occasional odd glance from a contestant as the three of them sat in a corner, away from most of them. Under normal circumstances, Twilight would have been ecstatic to talk to creatures from other worlds, but she was still feeling rather embarrassed of herself from earlier. Applejack was still on edge around most of the contestants and Fluttershy was… well… Fluttershy. Finally, the last contestant stalked through the doors of the Great Hall. Samus’ face was hidden behind her visor, but everybody seemed to separate around her, as if anger was just radiating off of her in waves, telling everyone to ‘get out of the way or else.’ The chatter and conversations in the Great Hall suddenly hushed as the lights dimmed. Fluttershy squeaked as all light was snuffed out, leaving the Great Hall in total darkness, when suddenly, the room was illuminated by a massive, holographic grid appearing above them, lit against the far wall. The ponies all gasped as they beheld a picture of every contestant with an accompanying name beneath them in each little section of the grid. “FREE FOR ALL!” came the booming voice of the Master Hand from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. A little window appeared in front of the roster that read ‘One on One,’ setting the terms for the battle. The window disappeared and was replaced by two circles, one red and the other blue, both of which started spinning around and floating on the grid. “I wonder who it’s gonna pick first,” Applejack said with a gulp. Fluttershy shivered, her eyes locked on the picture of her, smiling sweetly, sitting in between Applejack and Queen Chrysalis’ faces. The red circle randomly swept over Twilight’s face and she tensed, only for it to pass and her shoulders sagged in relief, only to tense again as the blue circle approached. This repeated several times. Finally, the red circle came to a stop over a familiar face. “LINK,” came Master Hand’s voice. A cheer came up from many of the contestants as the crowd parted around the green-capped hero. Link blushed and chuckled a little, scratching the back of his head as a spotlight came down from the ceiling and shone upon him. The ponies all let out a sigh of relief for a second as their eyes all locked on the blue circle, still spinning around the grid. The circle approached the ponies’ names once more, each of them tensing, only for it to veer off to the left and alight on another person. “SAMUS.” Applejack and Fluttershy seemed to relax as a spotlight shone down upon the armored bounty huntress, eliciting more cheers from the crowd. Samus stood stock still as the other contestants clapped and hooted around her. Twilight, though, couldn’t help but feel a pang of unease as she looked between Link and Samus. Something about the matchup felt very wrong to her. “But…” she muttered under her breath, “but they’re friends, aren’t they?” “STAGE SELECTION,” came Master Hand’s booming shout, cutting off anything Twilight might have had to say. The grid of contestants was suddenly replaced with a different grid, each section containing a picture of a different environment of some kind. Twilight gasped as she recognized a number of them from the sights she saw of the patchwork Smashworld during her flight in Samus’ gunship. “So that’s what they meant by ‘getting the lay of the land,’” she muttered. The red and blue circles were replaced by a larger, gray circle which spun around on the ‘stage grid,’ randomly looking to select a stage for Link and Samus to fight upon. Finally, it seemed to settle upon a woody-looking area. “THE SACRED GROVE,” said the Master Hand as the picture of the woody area suddenly expanded, overtaking the rest of the grid and coming into focus. Link looked to bristle a little, raising an eyebrow. Zelda, too, seemed to stiffen a touch, but went back to her normal impassive stance in a mere moment. And then, without warning, the spotlights on Link and Samus seemed to intensify as the two of them suddenly vanished in a burst of blue, swirling light. The ponies all gasped as the two fighters disappeared into thin air, but were suddenly accosted by the appearance of Mario. “Hold onto your hooves, ponies,” he chuckled. A bright burst of light suddenly flashed through the Great Hall and the world went sideways. * * * Twilight blinked as the world came back into focus. Her stomach felt like it had done a dozen backflips and her hooves felt like jelly. It was a sensation that she had long since thought she’d gotten over: post-teleport sickness. The little unicorn looked around to see that she was sitting on a set of bleachers, like the ones one might see in an outdoor sports ring. Next to her on one side was Applejack, with Fluttershy on the farmpony’s other side. “What in tarnation?!” Applejack sputtered, shaking her head, her eyes spinning in their sockets. “I think…” Twilight burped a little. “I think we’ve been teleported. To a sports field of some kind, apparently.” “Look!” Fluttershy shouted, pointing down and in front of the group. Twilight and Applejack both looked, only to gasp at the sight of a forest about twenty feet down below the apparently-floating block of bleachers, which was filled up with all forty-eight other contestants of the tournament. Fluttershy pointed to a clearing a little ways into the forest where two figures could be seen facing each other in a small patch of ruined masonry, one of them dressed in green and the other in bright orange. “It’s Samus and Link!” Twilight gasped. “Do y’all think they’re actually gonna fight?” Applejack asked. “That’s-a right!” came Mario’s Italian-accented voice as he sat down next to Twilight. “It’s what the tournament’s about, after all!” “But they’re friends!” Twilight protested. “Why would they fight each other? Is Link actually going to use that sword he carries around?!” she asked in a near panic. “Easy, Twilight Sparkle,” Mario said, pointing to another holographic screen that appeared over the forest. “Just watch and everything will be made clear.” The screen that appeared over the forest gave the contestants a better view of the two fighters in the middle of the stage than they had before. Samus and Link both got into fighting stances as they stared each other down. “Sorry Link,” came Samus’ voice, “but I got some shit to work through. Hope you don’t mind me caving your face in this time.” The ponies all gasped. Twilight turned to Mario. “She wouldn’t--?” she started, aghast. Mario shrugged. “Just watch, Twilight.” “But--” she protested. Mario shook his head. “Don’t worry Twilight. We’re all still here, aren’t we?” Twilight blinked as she turned back and forth between Mario and Link on the screen, who shrugged while unsheathing his deadly-looking sword. It didn’t make sense if they were actually striking each other with deadly weapons that they should all still be alive and kicking. “Just what is going on here, Mario?” Twilight tried to ask, only to be cut off by the booming voice of Master Hand. “READY…” came the massive shout, booming across the land as the two combatants readied themselves to charge at each other on the screen. “Wait!” Twilight protested. “Will somebody please explain--” “GO!”