//------------------------------// // Chapter 22 // Story: Becoming Twilight // by RandomGreymane //------------------------------// Becoming Twilight - Chapter 22                by RandomGreymane (Mike Hebel)         Looking out the window of her room in the castle, Twilight couldn’t help but admire the beauty of the pristine snow that covered the surrounding land.  From her current vantage point an endless blanket of white reflected the sunlight back to her in force.  She briefly had to cast am eye protection spell due to the strength of the light.         As her gaze swept the view outside, she heard the door open behind her.  A slight grin appeared on her face. “Hello Tia!” she said without turning around.         “I see I will have to work on masking my presence around you.” Celestia said with humor in her voice.  She walked across the room to Twilight, an envelope following her every step.         “What’s that?” Twilight asked.         “It’s a letter from Alabaster.” Celestia said as she presented it to Twilight.  “I think you should see it.”         A puzzled expression on her face, Twilight quickly took hold of the letter, opened it, and read it.  A frown quickly replaced the puzzlement.  “She’s not doing so well is she.”  she said with a sigh.         “Nothing that we didn’t expect.” Celestia replied. “Still her case is unique and I honestly do not know what to tell her.  I have guided and consoled ponies with changes as serious has hers but none have ever had their...royalty...ripped from them so suddenly.  To say nothing of her magick.”         “When I lost most of my magick I felt like nothing worse could happen to me.” Twilight said as she carefully folded the letter and put it back in the envelope.  “I...I don’t know what I could say to her.  But I’ll try.”         “Ever the hopeful one.” Celestia said placing a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder.  “I’m sure you’ll think of something.” said as she let herself out of the room.         “Yeah...something...” Twilight replied as she carefully laid the envelope on the nearby writing desk.  Lost in her thoughts she resumed staring out the window. ==================================================================================================         An hour later, when a servant came to inform her that lunch was prepared, she had not moved so much as an inch.  How am I supposed to counsel someone on losing...myself. she thought to her self as she thanked the pony and began walking in the direction of the kitchen.         What could I possibly say to comfort Alabaster.  ‘I’m sorry that you aren’t me any more.’  Pfft.  Yeah Twilight, that’ll go over well. she continued to herself as she entered the dining hall.         To her surprise only Celestia was there.  Blissfully the small talk during the meal consisted of only of random issues regarding the kingdom.  When it was over Twilight found herself aimlessly wandering the castle halls.         In time her hooves brought her, unsurprisingly, to the castle library.  Maybe I’ll find a ‘give yourself advice’ spell. she thought as she opened the doors and entered.         The smell of books overwhelmed her immediately.  Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she immediately relaxed.  She stood that way for several minutes until she heard a polite cough behind her.  She opened her eyes and quickly stepped aside to let the waiting pony inside.  “Sorry!” she said in what she hoped was an apologetic tone.         Making her way into the library, Twilight observed several ponies looking at her out of the corner of their eyes.  Have I been away that long? she thought Or is it the ‘Patchwork Princess’ that they see?         As was her habit, she browsed the stacks.  The smell of binding and pulp was like a breath of fresh air in her nostrils.  Something was different though.  There was a slightly sweet aromatic that she did not recall being part of the library she knew and loved.  Carefully she followed her nose.         I must look like a complete idiot. she thought as she lifted her nose to the scent. It wasn’t until she noticed others doing the same that she thought otherwise.          The scent became stronger, more defined, like a rose but not quite the same.  The further she followed her nose, the more ponies surrounded here.  Eventually their collective senses led them to a sunlit room with an enormous stained glass window.  It was round and entwined with green glass vines around the edge.  In the center, projecting into the room, was the largest glass flower that Twilight had ever seen.   The sunlight shone through the petals of the pink rose and coated the room in a soft light.  Seated directly in that light was Princess Mi Amore Cadance.         Inhaling at the sight of the window, Twilight suddenly realized that the smell was coming from her sister.  Careful so as to not obstruct anyone, Twilight sat near the back of the quickly growing group.  Cadance appeared to be concentrating on something but would stop from time to time to greet one of the incoming ponies or to just smile at those in front of her.  When the room was finally full, Cadence nodded to a pair or royal guards who carefully closed the doors and stood guard in front of them.         What is going on here? Twilight thought.         Cadence looked up and smiled at Twilight as if she was the most important thing in the world at that moment.  Twilight couldn’t help but blush and look away.  Cadance chuckled to herself before turning to address the group.         “Welcome.” she said. “As many of you know, I am Princess Cadance.  Some call me the Crystal Princess but I prefer the Princess of Love.”  Smiling broadly she continued.  “Today though, you can call me Cadance.”         Rising to walk between them she continued. “You are certainly wondering why you are all here.  Simply put, I brought you all here because you all have problems relating to love.  This is my court and I am here to help you.”         A gruff pony with an unkempt coat and mane snorted slightly.  Cadance smiled at him before speaking again.  “Some ponies misunderstand how love touches their lives.  How it is needed, how it grows, how it withers.  Some ponies think they can go without it.  In the end they realize differently.  But sometimes not before it’s too late.”         Walking between the ponies of the small crowd, Cadance greeted some and just smiled at others as she made her way through them all. “Some thinks that romantic love is all that exists.  Some, platonic.”  Working her way around, she eventually came to Twilight. “Some think that loving others should always come first, before loving oneself.”         Smiling briefly at Twilight, Cadance turned and continued around the group until she had personally welcomed them all.  When she was finished, she made her way again to the front of the assembled ponies.         “It may sound strange but, while loving others, you need to be a tiny bit selfish.  So you can love another unconditionally, you need to be able to love yourself first.”  Seating herself, she crossed one foreleg over the other and resumed speaking.  “For instance, one can not love at their best if one does not feel their best.  Large changes in our lives bring large challenges.  Large challenges that we feel diminish us make it harder for us to love.”         “Close your eyes everypony.” she said.  “No peeking!” she added, her laughter brightening the room.         You too Twilight. she projected to her sister.  Twilight obeyed without question.         “Focus on yourselves.”  Cadance continued as her horn lit. “Remember all the good things you’ve done.  Both for yourself and others.”         With the grace of a fine mist, or a fog over a lake during a spring morning, Cadance’s spell wove it’s way through the ponies.  For some it lifted their heads like a helpful hand, for others it brushed their cheek like a soft caress.  To even the grizzled pony in the room it brought a sense of peace and contentment.           Twilight felt herself fall to her memories.  All her successes, all her times of wonder and merriment with her friends, all her winning moments.  They washed over her and without warning she could recall nothing else.           For a time she, as the others, remained within their pleasant memories.  Even when Cadance’s spell faded, the memories remained foremost in her mind.  It was not that she could not recall the bad times, it was that they seemed so much less important than the good ones.  She knew that this was part of the gift that Cadance had bestowed upon those in the room, but again it seemed of little importance at that moment.         When all had opened their eyes, Cadance spoke again.  “Remember those memories.  Cherish them and hold fast to them. Don’t place them above all else, but keep them close.  We shall meet here next week at this same place and time.  When you come back I would like to hear how keeping those memories fresh helped you.  Please leave in peace and love.  Thank you!”         Slowly, as if they feared they would never return, the ponies filed out one by one until only Cadance, Twilight, and the guards were left.  Cadance bid the guards stand outside.         “So my dear Twilight,” Cadance said with an air of mock teacher in her voice. “What did you learn today?”         Twilight started to reply but failed to get a word out before she and Cadance broke into laughter at Cadance’s teacher impression.         In moments though, the laughter passed.  Twilight looked at her hooves and shuffled them one over the other.  “I understand what you said about loving yourself.  I really do.  It’s just...”         “Just what?” Cadance asked as she put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder.         “How do I love myself if I don’t even know who or what I am?” she replied as she looked up at Cadance.  “I knew what I was before...before I became what I am now.  I KNEW who I was.  I may not have been confident at it but I knew.”         Cadance nodded at Twilight before reaching out and giving her a hug. “While knowing yourself is important, loving yourself is more-so.”   Seeing Twilight’s expression she went on. “Twilight,  it is not necessary to know who you are to love yourself but only to accept who you are.”         “That’s just so...so...illogical!” Twilight said in a burst of frustration.         “Emotion and logic are often at odds Twilight.”  Cadance said, still gripping her sister tightly. “They rarely reconcile.  But I do know that they balance.”  Backing away slightly, she looked into Twilight’s eyes.  “It is quite possible to be an imperfect princess and still love yourself.  I know that from experience.  And if it’s possible for me then it’s possible for you.”         “But that’s just it!” Twilight said as tears started to escape the corners of her eyes.  “You ARE perfect!”         “Oh dear Twilight!” Cadance said with some regret in her voice. “I only with that were true.  It my life, as short as it is compared to Luna and Celestia, I’ve made so many mistakes that I’m surprised the history books aren’t filled with them.  Did you know I too had a nickname at one time?”         “What was it?” Twilight said as she levitated a kerchief and wiped the tears from her eyes.         Pointing her hoof at Twilight, Cadance said “I’ll tell you but if you EVER tell your brother I will make sure that you receive so many suiters that you won’t have time to study magick ever again!  Understood?”         Taken aback a bit, Twilight simple nodded.         “They called me....” Cadance struck a pose with a hoof in the air before hanging her head low. “The Pervert Princess”.         Twilight was unable to contain her laughter and it was so loud that one of the guards looked in before shaking his head and closing the door again.         “It is not the least bit!...” Cadance started to protest.  Stopping, she began to laugh along with Twilight. “...okay it is a bit funny.  At the time though it wasn’t!  I couldn’t control my magick and it forced those around me into...attachments.  The stronger the burst of magick, the more...attached...the ponies became.”          Twilight simply nodded at Cadance and motioned her to continue.         “One night, Celestia came to visit our part of Canterlot.” Cadance resumed while scuffing the floor with her hoof and inspecting the mark it left on the tile.  “I thought to myself ‘Ooh!  The Princess!  She must really be loved by all!’.  At that moment my magick decided to run amok and everypony within it’s reach decided to confess their desire for the princess.  I’ve never seen Celestia teleport so quickly!  When it was all over she sent for me.  She helped me learn to control my abilities.  It wasn’t long after that incident that I gained my wings so to speak.  But that is a story for another time.”         Twilight smiled and hugged Cadance without speaking.         “My point is that if I can accept being ‘The Pervert Princess’, then you can certainly accept being the ‘patchwork’ one.  And honestly I see nothing wrong with the name.  Quilts are patchwork but in the end they produce something beautiful!”         Well I certainly fit the name! Twilight thought to herself. Things added to me, things ripped away, separated, joined, separated again.  Unbidden her thought lighted on Alabaster’s letter.   Not a lick of my magick but she is still very much me as much as she is her own person.  How do I help her reconcile that?         “Love and acceptance go hoof-in-hoof.” Cadance spoke to Twilight’s passing thoughts.  “It is rare that one is found without the other.”         “I  think I understand.”  Twilight replied.  Hugging Cadance once again, she left the library and made her way to her chambers. =========================================================         A hour later Twilight sat, with her red quill and an inkpot, in front of the afternoon sky as the light leaked through her window.  With the sinking of the sun, she carefully chose what to say.         “Dear Alabaster,         It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that you will never again be Twilight Sparkle.           But neither will I.         Both of us have gone through changes that neither of us could have foreseen let alone prepared for.           This is life.  It’s taken me a long time to accept that.         It will take me even longer to accept who I am.  But a wise pony once told me that accepting who you are is required before you can love yourself.         You are magnificent.  You are one of a kind.  You are Alabaster the pony of alabaster.  You have strength in your body, your mind, and your heart.         Who cares that you are not the person you were yesterday - nopony is.  Each moment the clock ticks through time we become something and somepony different.  It happens every single moment of our lives.         If I know anything I know this - you will be able to overcome the challenges in your life.         And so will I.         And...I miss you.  We may not have been together in these forms for long but I do wish to see you again.  We are more alike than different.         To that end I will be visiting you in the near future.  Not for very long, just to ‘get away’ and check on how you are faring.  I shall be there in a moon or so.  I have to wrap up some things here.         Twilight”         Summoning a servant, Twilight sealed the envelope with magick and handed it off to be delivered.  With that, she collapsed on her bed and for once did not wake until morning. =================================================         Once again the bright sun shone through her windows despite their being in the wrong location for such an event.  Luna had warned her that her sister loved to play such pranks and preferred those in the castle not on night watch to wake with the morning light.         I’ll have to figure out a way to neutralize that effect.  Perhaps more mundane methods such as, oh, curtains! Twilight though as she blinked her eyes in the sunbeam.  Walking to her dresser to complete her morning routine she notice that the sunbeam followed her.  Definitely curtains. she thought.         You will likely face some unique challenges as the Twilight Princess. came a sleepy voice in her head. Your schedule overlaps both my sister’s and my own.  Not quite a day schedule, not quite one of night.  A challenge most certainly.         I’ll manage.  I picked up a polyphasic sleep spell or two in my time at the academy. Twilight sent back.  Still, perhaps it would be best to just plead my case.         Sister I pleaded my case repeatedly for at least 100 years at one point.  Tia was unrepentant and unyielding. Luna replied.  Then in what sounded like Celestia’s mental ‘voice’ but not quite - “If I am awake, so are thine!”         Twilight mentally chuckled before closing off the connection and teleporting to her office in the council building. =================================================         Twilight completed her daily tasks in record time then closed her office door to signify that she was done for the day.  The remaining ponies were rescheduled for the next day and left for their personal destinations.         Stretching, Twilight waited until the hallway had emptied and teleported herself to the library.  Upon attempting to enter though she found the door securely locked and a protection spell placed on the entire tree.         Oh Tartarus!  What now? she though.  “Spike!  Are you there Spike??” she yelled at one of the windows.  Looking through the glass she saw Spike quickly turn off the lights and disappear into the shadows of the shelves.         What the HAY is going on!? she thought.         Reaching with her magick, Twilight carefully analyzed the spell and deconstructed it.  When the barrier was removed she attempted to open the door only to find it was barred from the inside.  Reaching again, she levitated the bar from it’s resting place and against the wall.  Opening the door, Twilight promptly knocked the bar and it fell, hitting her shoulder in the process.         “OW!”  Twilight exclaimed.  “SPIKE!  Where the HAY are you?!  This isn’t funny!”         “Neither is abandoning one of your closest friends.” said a quiet voice from the shadows.  A claw reached out and lit a lantern.         Twilight blinked as her eyes as the shifting light pushed back the darkness of the room.         There before her was her assistant, but not quite the same as when she’d left him.  He was taller and thinner.  Much like one of the teenage dragons they had seen at the gathering so long ago.         He’s grown up. Twilight thought, her heart skipping a beat. He started growing up and I missed it.         “Spike...” she began.  Spike cut her off with a raised claw. “Let’s just sit here for a moment.  Just. Sit.   Then we can talk.  But for now just sit.”         For the rest of the evening they sat in their relative spots until Twilight could no longer keep her eyes open.  When she fell asleep, for what had been a long time since the last time, Spike carried Twilight upstairs and put her to bed.