//------------------------------// // Fuck You, Diablo. Fuck. You. // Story: Majestica Silversoul // by RealityWarper //------------------------------// "What the fuck just happened?" Rubbing my aching skull, I peel my face of the floor with annoyance and curse- which with my new squeaking child voice it sounded quite wrong. Won't stop me from doing it again though. "Alright!" Now since I had awoken somewhere, wherever that is; it was time for a daily awareness check, than an evaluation! So first, awareness check. I'm pretty aware of the fact I feel like shit, so I think I passed! Alright it was time for the evaluation! Alright....Nausea?.... Check. Heartburn? You know, I forgot what that feels like but I'm gonna saaaaaay... Check. Temperature? Well, bitch I'm colder than space but hotter than the sun. But, I am fucking freezing from that goo stuff. Egh. Check. Headache? Well...You require a brain to have that. Oh, I have that now. Check! My name is Majestica. And I am a Lich. Though we've been through this. We're doing this only I need to do a recheck. Now I know what you're thinking: 'A Lich! One of the most powerful, evil creatures to ever exist in history!? You make me sick!' Well hold on there tiger! I'm not that bad of a person honestly. "MOMMY! MOMMY! OUR HOUSE ON FIRE! "WHAT!?" ... For the record, nobody was inside of the house. It wasn't my fault their family were spec'd into hunting and killing necromancers in the like. ... Okay, okay! I meant not as bad as they could usually get anyway. Sure I've taken lives, but to be fair almost everyone from where I'm from have taken lives. Never have I stolen an innocent's life. Even those fuck head Paladins take lives. I will never understand how they can be so self righteous. I've put a lot of Paladins in their place, though. If only because of their 'holier than thou' attitudes. If that stick was any further up their ass I could probably see it jutting out their mouth and see them use it as a jousting lance. Now don't get me wrong, not all paladin's are bad though. One of the older Paladins in all of history still exist today thanks to his magical abilities. Atleast that's the bullshit he spouts to everyone. The guy's over five thousand years old and doesn't look a day over thirty. I think something is going on. Even some of his own allies are suspicious. Getting back on track, I'm not really evil. I'm just 'misunderstood'. You know, the name Majestica actually came from a great tale of a legendary magician who vanished from the lands! No one knows what happened to him... Though he'd probably vanquish me or something along those lines if he saw me, to him I'm just some monster with his name. Heh. I'm greeted by the sight of a forest- And I'm not exactly sure what forest since this wasn't my world. Though, whatever just happened was quite taxing on my magical reserves. Not that I was very aware on how to use magic in this body to begin with. Which brought another enervating, exemplary, and querulous issue. I get to preform a renovation of my whole metaphorical and physical spell-book! Great. Just... Perfect. Before I could learn anything else however, I'd need to get the hell out this forest before it was dark. The sun was high in the sky from what I could barely see from beyond the trees. I didn't appear to be too far deep into this forest, though there may still be some dangerous wild-life. If that was the case, I could prepare some small not very taxing arcane spells. I still am a weaver of the darkest magics seen on the face of the universe. I began my very slow trot, my hooves smashing the leaves and twigs under them as I trekked the darkened forest. Thinking time. First, and regrettably I'd need the history of this pony hauling rock-ball of a mysterious planet. What else could prove to be extenuating to this whole ordeal? Or at least take my mind off of the fact I had no idea what I'm doing or know where I'm going. Next... Oh, that's right. I need to find the history of this body. See, as anyone knows- Life cannot be created without life. This whole process is an exchange between life. In order to avoid the inevitable rancorous result of running into someone who I'm the splitting-image of, I'd need to know who I look like and how do I avoid ever finding them. Back at the lab, I remember hearing something about being made from 'Alicorn' and Starswirl the 'Bearded'. I refuse to believe that this world also has 'The Bearded' title. Then again, stranger things have occurred. Now, because of the fact that I wasn't too far from the tree-line of making it out the only slightly creepy forest I found jubilation in the fact that I made it out without a single issue. Usually, I had some sort of hero attacking me for some reason. It may or may not be because I burned their house down... What? Finally, my luck is paying off as I step across the tree-line I thank Diablo for looking out for me. Today must be my lucky day! Thump. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- Fuck. As I turned to the side, I noticed a yellow- almost canary colored winged pony with a lustrous long pink mane that swayed in the wind. She sat on her haunches, a bunch of delicious looking apples rolled out, one rolling out to me as she'd dropped it on the forest floor. Her mane whipped out her face due to the rather powerful gust of wind that seemed to come directly from behind me in the forest- Only strands of her mane remained and I could fully see the emotions being expressed by her wide cerulean eyes. Disbelief, shock, fear, relief, and a little bit of hesitation. Y u do dis, Diablo? "Uh, hi." No response. She was just sitting there, her jaw gaped as she stared at me blankly. It was then I noticed a bunny next to her, and it appeared to be doing the exact same thing. Wow, these animals sure were expressive. "Lovely day we're having, isn't it?" I'm pretty sure she's not even breathing. I begin to slowly make my great get away, one hoof at a time. "Welp, this has been just lovely. But we're both busy people, ponies, horses, creatures completely of the same universe and certainly no other origin. But uh, I best be hitting the ol' dusty trail. So uh... You know. Bye." I immediately turned tail-- literally-- and jetted the fuck out of there before it could get more awkward. "W-WAIT! SILVER! DON'T GO!" Holy fuck there's a crazy talking horse that somehow knows my nickname... I don't reply, I just keep on running away as fast as I can. "IT'S ME, FLUTTERSHY! YOUR BIG SISTER!" I could hear the waterworks trying to build up in her voice! She must have mistaken me for someone else! I'm not- Oh. Oh... OH! OHHHHHH! Okay! So, not even five minutes out the fucking forest and I already found a relative of my look alike. Not to mention, his name is my nickname. Fuck you, Diablo. Fuck. You. Now I surely couldn't afford being caught, this would be more than heart breaking for her on either side if the kid had been offed by something. I run and get away, she's going to think she's probably crazy and cry for the rest of her life or something. I stay and get caught, and I have to tell her I'm not her brother. Not looking good, sagacity wasn't exactly my forte even with all this time. A tactful approach was thrown out the window the minute she saw me. "Please! S-Slow down! D-Don't...Don't leave me..." I feel my stomach churn from guilt I make a sharp turn, running off of a bridge to the direction of the nearest place to hide. I have a feeling if I turned around I'd probably lose the will to run. She was so cuddly! I don't WANT to make her cry. But I have my own agenda! Pretentious isn't exactly what I'd call it, it's more like looking out for one's self. Finally after many trees that looked the same, I see a sign that showed the name of the town I was running to. Ponyv- HAHA, THEY ACTUALLY NAMED IT PONYVILLE? LET'S TRY LICHVILLE, MAYBE EVEN LICHSHIRE. LICHCITY MAYBE!? I'm having way too much fun, I note as I hear Pony right NEXT to me-- huffing as she was flying surprisingly fast beside me. Her eyes were puffed up with tears and her mane a mess- but she looked filled with determination. Now, I'm not a provocative person. I'm pragmatic, but silly and I know when to stop. Now was not that time, I can't afford to get caught. I feigned heading toward the left, making nothing but turning signals- Even tensing my body and leaning that way. Hook, line, and sinker. As I made it look like I was heading that way. Immediately 'Fluttershy' as she said her name was, blasted left of me after I made a duck and with my mouth made the sound of a disrespectful ball player- the sound of screeching tires and they skit to a halt. "Skrt! Try again!" I exclaimed spontaneously loud- and childishly- as I booked it right and disappeared into 'Ponyville Park' as I dub it since I didn't see a sign. We found ourselves divergent- As I looked back I noted Fluttershy looked quite confused and frustrated at her lack of catching my handsome self. Though, I'm not an idiot. With my limbs this solution was only ephemeral. Evanescent as it was, I just needed to catch my breath. Running wasn't something I did, I float. Or I did as a Lich without a living body. I vanished into the foliage, hiding in a pair of bushes. Not soon after Fluttershy came blasting through the area- completely missing me and continuing upon her way. I groan, laying on my stomach. Sprawled out, I begin huffing and trying to breath. Too much trouble and I've only just came to this world. I close my eyes, just resting for a little. Never noticing the three tiny figures look into the very bush I'm hiding in.