Hyperventilate

by The Isapie

Invite Them All

Rainbow Dash was not happy.
Okay, it was for Pinkie's birthday. Her partner-in-pranking. That automatically made the job about twenty percent more important. But flying around Ponyville and the neighbouring areas with a massive sack of invitations? Not fun at all.
Her first stop was Twilight's castle. The princess of friendship had decided to honour her beloved Golden Oaks Library by converting the main courtroom and a few minor rooms into one of Equestria's biggest libraries. With a few restoration spells(and some help from Princess Celestia), a few donations and the whole of Ponyville volunteering, the castle had new life breathed into it within a week.
This meant that pretty much all of Ponyville had seen the library while it was under construction, and knew exactly where to go for specific books. Rainbow found Roseluck in the gardening section, taking a magically elongated stool to reach a book on the cultivation of evening primroses. It also meant that at all times, there'd be ponies available in the library.
Which, by all means, was good for Rainbow. Twilight's instructions had been brief, but extremely taxing.
"Invite everypony in Ponyville that Pinkie knows."
Sadly, Pinkie knew everypony in Ponyville. According to most recent calculations, there were about 1,500 ponies living in the sweet little town that Rainbow now called home. That meant that Twilight insisted on making 1,600 invitations, to include Pinkie's family(living just over a kilometre away from Ponyville) as many of their old friends as possible, and of course the other princesses. Rainbow could just imagine Pinkie bickering with Twilight about inviting Sunset Shimmer. Almost. At least she didn't have to invite anyone from on the other side of the mirror. That was way outside her limits.
Thankfully, the library was currently being visited by Cheerilee's class, who were busily pulling out books to read. Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were stacked, one on top of another, on top of a magical stepladder, just to reach a single book the size of half a bale of hay that rested on the highest shelf. "I'm almost...there..." Strained Scootaloo desperately, her wings fluttering just a bit to get her hooves on that one book.
Rainbow Dash chuckled to herself after making sure that the fillies wouldn't fall off the ladder, stepping into Twilight's personal office to use the P.A. system there. "HEEEEllo," she screeched into the microphone. (Outside the office, three particular fillies who were on a stepladder fell off out of surprise, from being within three metres of the nearest speaker.) Rainbow tapped the microphone twice.
"Testing, testing, one two three. Good morning, Ponyville library occupants! Your head weatherpony Rainbow Dash speaking. I'm here on behalf of Princess Twilight Sparkle. If I weren't, I wouldn't be here, and I'd probably be up in my cloudhouse, having a mug of apple juice and reading some comics. Please head towards the centre...uh, what did Twilight call it again? The roundhouse? Rotunda, right. The table at the centre rotunda. I have some very important information to give out."
As fast as she could, Dash burst out of the office to land gracefully on top of the table, except the bag she'd been carrying, with all one thousand, six hundred invitations, flipped her around, and even so, she managed to land nicely on the floor. "Hello, Ponyville citizens!" She announced, puffing out her chest like she was at Wonderbolts Academy. "As you all probably know, today is April the thirtieth. Three days from now, on May the third, the Elements of Harmony are holding a birthday party for our resident Element of Laughter, Pinkie Pie."
Rainbow felt a laugh trying to come out of her chest for being so... Formal, but managed to swallow it down. "The Princess Twilight Sparkle has requested that I send out invitations. But under certain circumstances!"
"First, and foremost, none of you may speak of this to the Element of Laughter herself. This is very important, as she believes that this party is being just held between the Elements of Harmony.
"Second, all of you must attend. This is, I repeat, a mandatory event! All details will be in the invitation I am handing out now, and the two circumstances I have just listed, as well as the punishment for not following them. Thank you, and have a nice day."
With that being said, Rainbow stoically handed out all of the invitations. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, just recovering from their fall, came forwards. "I don't think I really need one, Rainbow Dash. Rarity's gonna come too, so I don't need an invitation," said Sweetie Belle meekly. Rainbow shook her head. "Balderdash. Rarity's little miss priss. Of course she's gonna make you come, but she's also gonna go beauty-zilla over me if I don't give you an invitation."
Apple Bloom graciously accepted hers. "Ah know ah'm a little clumsy at times, and ah misplace things of'en, but ah swear ah'm gonna remember this," she insisted. A jingle went up into the air, and one could hear a mare's voice outside yelling "FRESH MUFFINS!" Sweetie Belle's expression turned urgent. "Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, we need to hurry. Mrs. Cake's made new muffins, and she forgot not to ring the bell! And now Derpy's discovered them!"
The earth pony filly and the unicorn filly galloped at high speed out the door. Scootaloo turned to Rainbow Dash. "Quick, invitation!" Said the pegasus filly desperately. Rainbow Dash handed her honorary little sister an invitation and shoved her towards the door. "Good luck, Scoots!" Called Rainbow after the disappearing figure of the daredevil filly.
The library was now deserted. Rainbow Dash took a look around and made sure of that. Then, she suddenly dropped on the floor.
Twilight would wonder, years later, why the P.A. system had a recording of Rainbow Dash laughing her lungs out.

"That was terrifying," gasped Rainbow Dash to herself. "Too many ponies to hand out stuff to. I need a way to do this in ten. Seconds. FLAT!"
She'd made her way out of the library about half an hour after she started her laughing fit and was now lazily lying on a cloud she'd secured from over Sweet Apple Acres. Thankfully, it could sustain the weight of her still-heavy mail sack.
"How should I do it in a way that'll be easier than handing them out by hoof?" She thought aloud, staring into the open sky she knew as her domain. "It should be...awesome! Epic! Radical!"
At "Radical!" she burst into the air with a radiant spin, a tiny rainbow twister trailing behind her. The pegasus observed this and smirked to herself. "Like that," she drawled, floating down to lay on her cloud patch again with her eyes closed.
As she thought about her previous statement, however, she quickly realized something, and her eyes snapped open.
"I'VE GOT IT!"
And with a buck so hard she destroyed the cloud, Rainbow Dash flew off, dragging her overweight charge behind her.

"Am I ready? Of course I am."
Rainbow was now standing on a small cloud she'd taken from Sweet Apple Acres(a new one) that was hovering over Ponyville's Town Hall. Thankfully Pinkie was out for the day, and she wouldn't be back in town until well after all the invitations were cleared. Rainbow had spread all the invitations on the cloud, and currently pulling her flight items out of her mailbag.
"Mane tie, check. Mane tied, check. Goggles, check. Cool flappy-red-scarf, check. Looking awesome, check."
Rainbow wasn't about to do this without looking awesome, of course. Rarity had given her a Wonderbolts fashion magazine once, and she had to admit, getting a little fancy at times could be nice. But just a little.
With a powerful wingbeat, Rainbow hoisted herself into the air. "Operation Whirlwind is a-go," she murmured to herself before beginning to fly in circles around the cloud. Soon enough, she'd generated a small twister, with all the invitations inside it.
Rainbow dared to look back for a moment. Her plan had worked! Her mane and tail colours were blending into the twister, colouring it into what seemed like a food processor full of Zap Apples. She looked down, spotting ponies she knew and ponies she didn't know looking up at her and pointing at the glorious rainbow tornado behind her. She even saw Applejack, Rarity and Twilight, all looking up at her with a mixed expression, like I don't know what to say right now.
Rainbow pressed on, flying in larger circles, and when she determined her tornado was of large enough size, she smirked.
"Time for Phase Two."
Rainbow burst out of the tornado, which miraculously stayed put, and started to fly upwards at top speed. Twilight's eyes widened. "She wouldn't!" Gasped the alicorn. Rarity grimaced. "She just did, darling."
Rainbow kept flying until she saw naturally generated clouds. "Phase Three," she muttered as she stopped and started to dive.
From all the times Rainbow had tried to do a sonic rainboom, she'd learned that if she put both hooves forwards, she had a higher chance of pulling it off. Now, she pushed both her hooves in front of her, feeling the familiar buildup. "No, Rainbow!" Yelled Twilight.
Rainbow didn't care. She didn't care at all. With a mighty heave, she burst forwards, a ring of rainbow light cascading out from behind her. The moment she struck the cloud, it exploded in a massive wave of rainbowness and invitations, which began to float down, now stained rainbow, to Ponyville and its citizens.
"Where's Rainbow Dash?!" Demanded Twilight as she took to the sky. Rarity shielded her eyes and Applejack took off her hat. They all knew the terrible dangers of actually managing a sonic rainboom. The last time, Rainbow Dash had spent nearly a month in the hospital.
Everypony was worried.

"So, Rainbow Dash, what have you learned today?"
Rainbow Dash grunted. "Not to pull off a sonic rainboom from anywhere within two hundred metres altitude from any pony settlement," she muttered, "and not to listen to anymore of your lectures."
The good news was, Twilight had found Rainbow alive, albeit crashed, about a hundred metres away from Zecora's hut.
The bad news was that Rainbow had crashed. After actually pulling off the rainboom, she lost control and smacked into a tree, losing consciousness. She left a rainbow contrail, though, and it was this trail that Twilight had followed to Zecora's hut, where Rainbow was currently recuperating.
As well, Rainbow had broken her wing. But no biggie; Twilight and Zecora compared remedies and discovered that they could heal Rainbow's wing in three days. She'd be alright for Pinkie's birthday.
"I think I've learned something else, too, Twilight," murmured Rainbow weakly as she touched one of her bandages and winced. Twilight turned around from the book she'd been reading. "Oh?"
"I've learned that finding an easy way to do things may not always be the best," she admitted. "I thought that if I got the invitations out to everypony fast enough, it would be best. But noooooo."
Twilight smiled. "Well done, Rainbow. I think you've learned a lot today. For now, just relax and don't worry about a thing. For the remedy Zecora and I cooked up to work, you need to relax your wing," she said as she stroked Rainbow's back absentmindedly, sending the pegasus back into a deep sleep.
"Rarity, can you bring the ointment I need? And Applejack... Where has she gone?"