//------------------------------// // THE BUTLER №8 // Story: The Disgruntled Butler and Other Random Tales // by ADRNEL //------------------------------// "So Alistair, what do you have to say to yourself?" All I gave was a painful groan as I held an ice pack to my face. This part is a bit hazy for me because I was kind of recovering from the concussion and blood loss from the beating in the talons of Mr. Kronos. That was an impressive right-hook. "She's a fan of asphyxiation?" I blurted out, my mental filter was temporarily out of service. Mr. Rich just gave an annoyed groan. "You are damn lucky that the business deal was officially made and that it was too late to back out of it!" he sternly told me. He gave an annoyed sigh. "I need a freaking drink!" he walked out of the room. As soon as he left, I moved the ice pack from my face and down to my crotch. I gave a painful moan. "At least I still have my job." I said to myself, but for how much longer? I awoke the next morning still sore and beaten. I limped downstairs to make the family some breakfast, I could still see the claw marks from my session with Mr. Kronos' wife. "What in the name of Tartarus happened to you butler?" asked Miss Tiara as she walked into the kitchen, I could tell she wanted to laugh at my injured state. "That's none of your concern Miss Tiara." I did not have the prerequisite patience to deal with the brat today. "Now go and get ready for school." "Daddy wants YOU to escort me to school as punishment for what ever happened last night." she explained to me with a smug look. "So you get to spend more time with me." she knew that I hated her, and she was milking my misery for what it is worth. Sometimes I just wanted to grab this filly and plow her to submission to show her who's boss, but the thought of going to jail made me think twice. "Anything else I need to know about your father's orders?" I just dryly ask. "He wants you to plan a party to celebrate my birthday." she explained. "What?!" "Normally we would hire this pink hyperactive freak to plan my parties, but my dad decided to have you do it instead to see how well you got to know me since you got hired." she tried to hold back her laughter. "Good luck." she turned and walked away to get ready for school. My blood boiled with rage, I looked around the kitchen and saw a knife, it tempted me. Use me Alistair, use me to skewer her, use me to silence that bitch "Silence that bitch..." I mumbled under my breath as I walked towards it, hypnotized. "Silence her..." I was just about to grab the knife. "BUTLER! TAKE ME TO SCHOOL!" yelled Miss Tiara as she interrupted my thoughts. I quickly focused myself and got that bad thought out of my mind. "I'm on my way Miss Tiara." I sighed. Thank goodness I caught myself before I did something I would regret. It was a quiet walk all the way to the school house, thank goodness. As we got there, I saw her...Miss Silver Spoon. Miss Tiara quickly ran up to her friend and did that stupid looking rump bumping thing they would do to show off their cutie marks. I swear their egos are bigger than their names. Miss Spoon quickly gave me a flirty wink while Miss Tiara gave me a 'don't you even think about it perv' look. I just sighed with relief that at least the brat will be out of my mane for the next eight hours, I quickly turned around and went into town for some grocery shopping. "That'll be 8 bits for a pound of tomatoes ma'am." stated the tomato seller. "Oh? Really? Isn't that a bit pricey?" nervously inquired the costumer. "Why not at 4?" she offered in her horrible attempt at haggling. "8 bits per pound take it or leave it miss." he threatened. "Oh...okay..." she reluctantly gave the bits to the tomato seller. I saw how the seller was taking advantage of the yellow pegasus mare, it disgusted me to see business ponies take advantage of their customers. I walked in before the transaction could be finished. "Excuse me sir?" "Yes?" he turned to me. "Last time I checked, tomatoes are at 3 bits per pound, why did you price it at 8?" "Because that's how much I am selling them for, a sales pony has to eat." he said, appearing to be offended that I had the common decency to ask him. "But the sign on your stand says 3 bits per pound and 10 bits for an entire crate of the stuff." I pointed out. Naturally grown Equestrian Tomatoes 3฿/lb 10฿/crate "Oh...I forgot to change that to account for inflation." he waved it off like it was nothing. "The inflation rate of the Equestrian Bit hasn't been above the 1% mark in decades." I pointed out as well. "Oh? You think you know how economics work?" he started to get annoyed with me. "No, but I do know when a supposedly honest business pony is screwing over their customers." I said in a serious tone. "And if she won't defend herself, I will." "What's your offer then?" he raised an eyebrow. "5 bits for a crate full of tomatoes, and I'll forget this whole conversation ever happened and a promise you won't screw over your customers like that." I offered. "And if I refuse?" "I happen to work for a Mr. Rich, have you heard of him?" His eyes went completely wide. "Uh...how about I give you TWO crates, one for each, for only 3 bits, my treat." he nervously gave me and the yellow pegasus a crate full of tomatoes and only took 3 of the 8 bits from the counter." I just gave a smirk. "Pleasure doing business with you." I took my crate and walked away. Shame I never got the name of that canary yellow pegasus, oh well, I had too much stuff to do. As I made my way back to the mansion, I decided to quickly stop by at the flower shop since it was on the way, I quietly went inside. "Hello?" "Well, well, well, if it isn't the flirty butler, what brings you here?" Roseluck smirked as she walked up to greet me. I kind of blushed. "Just wanted to see if we are still on for our date coming up." "Why of course I am silly." she giggled. "I am always ready for a date." she winked. "That is great to know, uh, I'll be picking you up at eight sharp, I already have the reservations set up." I said. "Hmmm...how about we make it seven?" she offered. "Oh? Why seven?" I asked with curiosity. "So that way we can finish earlier so we have more time to spend some 'quality' time together." she said in a flirty tone. "Oh..." I blushed even more as I started to put the pieces together. "See, you're not the only one that can flirt around here." she giggled. "Anyways, I have to go a close down, I'll see you around Saturday at 7pm sharp." she turned around and walked away, she sashayed her hips as she did, she even, how do I say this, swished her tail slightly to give me teasing looks at her...well...parts. I guess I wasn't the only flirt around here. I returned home after a long day with bags of groceries on my back. I quickly left all the bags in the kitchen and immediately plopped myself down on the living room couch. It felt nice and comfortable. "BUTLER!" a screechy voice yelled. It got my startled and I fell off the couch. "Ugh..." I groaned. "Get off your lazy rump and help me send out the invitations to the party." she towered over me from my place on the floor. "Yes ma'am..." I agreed out of habit. I slowly got off the group and Miss Tiara directed me to the dinning room table where a pile of blank invitation cards and empty envelopes waited for me. This was going to be a long night. "There better be done by morning butler, now get to it." she ordered me like I was kind of a slave. How dare that little brat order me around like that, I just wanted to grab her by the neck right then and there and watch as the life slowly drains away from her until her body becomes a cold and empty shell and- Oh my, that got quickly got dark...anyways, you get the idea on how much I hated her. "You are cordially invited to Diamond 'Dazzle' Tiara's Summer Tea Party bash over at the Rich Mansion next week Saturday starting at noon sharp. Please bring along your most fancy suits, dresses and swimsuits. We will be having all kinds of teas along with pastries catered in coordination with the house staff and Sugercube Corner. Gifts for Miss Tiara highly encouraged. No colts allowed unless escorted by a filly guest. Please keep this invite to gain access. Thank you from the greatest filly in class; Diamond Tiara." Ugh...someone kill me now, not only do I have a party to set up, but I also have to take care of the food with an outside company? Also, I would not be surprised that Miss Tiara is holding this party for the sole purpose of feeding her already inflated ego. This entire thing is getting out of hoof. After I finally placed the last invitation in the envelope I collapsed on the table in exhaustion, it was just past midnight. "Someone put me out of my misery-" I was suddenly struck by inspiration, my mind has just came up with the most perfect plan to put me out of my misery. Now, I am defiantly not talking about suicide, for I am unable to kill myself, I can't bring myself to do so. But I can get rid of the thing that is causing my misery...yes...it is time for Miss Diamond Tiara, the worst filly I have ever encountered, to die. Yes, I said it, Diamond Tiara must die.