//------------------------------// // Fifth Case - Gaming // Story: On the Corner of Straight and Narrow // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Trixie frowned as she sat in the 'Bad Pony' chair in the corner of the office as Sam read off the details regarding Max's Presidential agenda. "Unrest in the Dakotas?" Sam asked. "Dispatch equal numbers of giant battle robots to each faction," Max replied. "Whoever survives, claim we backed them all along." "Illegal immigration," Sam continued, going down the list of issues. "Let the new guys pilot the giant battle robots," Max decided. "Criticism that your domestic policy is too giant-battle-robot based?" Sam finished. "Ask them to explain their criticisms to First Daughter Trixie without making her cry for criticizing her Daddy," Max smirked. "If she cries, they're target practice for my new press secretary, her big brother Maimtron-9000. If not, I'll hear them out." "If Trixie is such an important part of the government," Trixie demanded, "why is she in the corner?" "You burned down the White House," Sam explained. "Trixie didn't mean to!" Trixie complained. "You painted it blue," Sam pointed out. "To celebrate our win!" Trixie complained. "Trixie painted it Trixie colored!" "And started a cookout in the Lincoln bedroom," Max reminded her. "Abe said it was okay!" Trixie argued. "And left it unattended while you came to find us," Sam continued. "Trixie couldn't find anything to cook!" "Spilling lighter fluid all over the place as the still wet paint dripped from the roof into the open flames," Max concluded. "Trixie is seven!" Trixie complained. "She doesn't know any better!" "And you still haven't apologized," Sam pointed out. Trixie blinked. "Eh?" "You do need to apologize for what you've done," Max agreed, startling Sam. Trixie hung her head. "Trixie is sorry for accidentally burning down the Powder Blue House, Uncle Sam" she mumbled. "Apology accepted," Sam stated. "And mine?" Max asked. Trixie thought for a time. "Trixie is sorry for burning down the White House without you, Daddy." "Apology accepted," Max stated. "You can come out of the corner now," Sam stated. Trixie blinked. "That's it?" "Yup!" Max confirmed. "As long as you say you're sorry and really mean it, anything can be forgiven." Sam stared at Max in surprise. "While I agree with the sentiment somewhat, it's the last thing I expected you to say, little buddy." "Only in the case of Trixie, of course," Max added. "Oh, of course," Sam agreed. "That makes much more sense." Trixie smiled as she climbed out of the corner, filing that information away for later exploitation. "Nopony puts Trixie in the corner," she muttered. "Good thing we aren't ponies then, huh?" Max asked cheekily. The phone rang. "If that's the guys from Air Force One," he said as Sam picked up the phone, "tell them they get the keys back when they say the magic word." "Quiet, Max, it's the commissioner!" Sam stated. Max and Trixie immediately turned their heads to listen. "Total collapse of the economy and downfall of Western civilization?" Sam gasped. "Great grinning head of John the Baptist in a porkpie hat stuffed in a rhinestone bowling bag!" "If Trixie knew what half those things were, how scarring would that mental image be?" Trixie asked. "I'd give it a 4," Max replied. "We're on our way!" Sam finished as he hung up the phone. "We've got a computer crisis to take care of, little buddies!" "Have they tried, turning it off and turning it back on again?" Max asked. "It's bigger than that-" "Can we solve it with giant battle robots?" Trixie interrupted. "Probably not," Sam admitted. "Computers everywhere are going haywire! Planes are falling from the sky! Nuclear reactors are nearing meltdown!" "And scores of pasty white nerds will be forced to go outdoors and socialize with normal people!" Max concluded. "Trixie needs popcorn!" the little filly declared. "She can't watch the world end without popcorn!" "Good point," Max agreed. "Let's make popcorn before the power grid crashes!" "Or we could work to fix it," Sam suggested. Trixie and Max both stared at him. "Where's the fun in that?" they asked together. "If the world ends, you can't catch your favorite TV shows," Sam pointed out. Trixie gasped. "We must stop these criminals at once! Trixie will not miss the next episode of Technological Technicolor Technomare for anything!" "I still think that show's ripping you off, Trixie," Max pointed out. "How could it?" Trixie asked. "Trixie is a unicorn, not a pegasus!" "So where do we start, Sam?" Max spoke up, abandoning the former topic and pretending it never existed. "The National Consortium of Smart People Who Are Good With Computers-" "But terrible with acronyms," Trixie interrupted. "-has been tracking electron surges all over the country," Sam explained. "And one of the biggest is right here in our neighborhood!" "What an unbelievably convenient coincidence!" Max agreed. "How do we find an 'electron surge'?" "Sounds techy," Trixie pointed out. "We could ask Bosco." "Good idea!" Sam praised. "Let's go!" Entering Bosco's shop, they found him wearing a single elf ear. As this was the least odd thing they'd seen him wearing in the past few months, they ignored it. "Hey Bosco," Sam said happily. "Greetings and well met, friend Watchmen-for-hire!" he proclaimed in an exaggerated but unidentifiable accent. "Sam, how come I suddenly have a primal desire to beat Bosco savagely?" Max asked. "Because he hasn't given Trixie candy?" Trixie suggested. "But of course, young filly!" Bosco proclaimed, handing her a bag of chocolate gold coins. Trixie happily began gobbling the coins - peeling off the gilt wrapping first - as Sam, Max, and Bosco began discussing Bosco's latest disguise, his interest in living online instead of in the real world, the possible implications that had to his sanity...and Bosco's announcement that he was presently only accepting electronic payments for products. "So Trixie can't purchase the virulent biological weapon here?" Trixie pouted. "Even if she has a billion dollars?" "Nay, fair maiden," Bosco replied. "Only through the pathways of the ether will I accept payment!" Trixie pouted adorably. "Sorry, Trixie," Bosco apologized in his normal tone of voice. "I've already completely converted the store to online. It'll take me a week to change it back, minimum." Trixie sighed. "Fine," she pouted. "We'll pay online, somehow. Maybe Sybil's got something more interesting today." With that, she turned to leave the store, Sam and Max following after her. On her way out, she grabbed Jimmy Two Teeth and his cannon in her telekinetic grip. "Trixie special presidential privilege! Out!" With that, she hurled the rat and cannon from the store. On entering Sybil Pandemik's office, they discovered her wearing unusual eyewear and flailing about. "I'm surrounded!" she shouted. "Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!" "Why is she wearing a headset with funky spirals?" Trixie asked. "Gadzooks!" Sam proclaimed. "She must be hypnotized." "Back pit demons!" Sybil proclaimed. "With sword of righteous fury I cast thee away!" "Or she got a new job as an exorcist and is after Daddy," Trixie suggested. "No, definitely hypnosis," Sam professed certainly. "We need to find a way to get those goggles off of her, and break the hypnosis." "Launch stinging BB's of holy smiting!" Sybil commanded. "Do we have to?" Max asked. "She's a lot more interesting this way." "While true, we still need to help her," Sam argued. "Given the pattern of our last four cases, I'd wager this has something to do with the computer crisis we've been asked to investigate!" He rubbed his chin. "Now how are we going to get close enough to deliver a blow to her head with her flailing about like-" Trixie's magical aura surrounded the goggles, and the hypnotic spirals vanished. "Hey! I hadn't saved yet!" Sybil complained. "How'd you do that, Trixie?" Max inquired. "They're mechanical," Trixie explained. "They had an off switch." "What do you mean you hadn't saved?" Sam inquired. Sybil took the goggles off. "I'm a beta tester for Reality 2.0, the new game craze sweeping the nation. I was using these goggles for the new VR interface!" Trixie zoned out as Sybil started explaining what, exactly, Reality 2.0 was. She was examining the goggles. "How much electricity does this game use?" she asked curiously. Sybil paused. "Quite a lot, I'd say," Sybil admitted. "Certainly enough for the wi-fi hot spots - like the one the admins have at what used to be Lefty's - to create massive electron surges." "That must be what's behind our computer crisis!" Sam proclaimed. "Sybil, is it alright if we take those goggles as evidence as we investigate this?" "Go ahead," Sybil groaned, putting her hand to her head. "Now that I'm unplugged, so to speak, the sugar crash is hitting me harrrr..." Her voice trailed off as she slumped into slumber. Trixie covered her with a blanket. "To next door!" she proclaimed.