//------------------------------// // World Seven - Elite Beat Headquaters // Story: The Conversion Bureau: Worlds Where It Wouldn’t Work // by Sora2455 //------------------------------// 8:48 AM Outside the London Conversion Bureau "Please, listen to me! Humanity isn't something you can just throw away! You have to fight for it!" Everyone ignored the sole remaining protestor. His friends had been carted away hours ago, and he remained only because his 'shouting voice' was about the same as most people's whispers. They all just shuffled past him futility trying to block the doors. "Please..." The 16 year old kid whimpered. "Don't give up hope yet..." Everyone continued to ignore him. Some even failed to notice him at all. "Please...!" The kid -Harvey by name- knew there was only one way he was going to turn this around. He took a big breath. "HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP!!!" Sitting at his desk, Commander Khan, leader of the Elite Beat Agents, watched the kid scream on his monitor. He nodded to himself and stood up, dramatically pointing his finger at the screen. "Agents are... GO!!" Harvey's tears stopped abruptly when he heard the sound of music. Looking up, he saw a hot air balloon with three cheerleaders inside. The three leaped out nimbly, landing next to Harvey. The leader of the three smirked, and patted the kid on the back. Then the three got ready to dance. Mission: Pony-pocalypse? Don't give up hope! The beat hit Harvey like a truck, and straightening out the slouch in his back. That's right, I can't give up yet! I have to remind everyone how wonderful it is to be human! The pony employes inside the Conversion Bureau were surprised to hear spontaneous music break out amongst the humans. Sure, they knew it happened to ponies, but humans had neither the magic nor the happy attitude for that. Right? A light-bulb metaphorically flashed over Hervey's head. I got it! Are you ready? 3, 2, 1... GO! You're insecure? Don't know what for. You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or~ A dash to fetch chalk and some tennis balls later, and he'd set up a series of Four Square games along the edge of the side walk. "A game or two to pass the time?" He offered. The people in line, slightly bored, took him up on his offer. Soon the sidewalk was full of people nimbly hitting tennis balls back down and towards their opponents. Seeing the good cheer he had brought about, Harvey asked (at a normal volume even) "Pity you won't be able to do this without fingers, huh?" You don't kno-o-ow~ You don't know you're beautiful! "Hey, this looks fun!" "Can we join in?" Ponies were joining in the Four Square game, playing perfectly well despite not having fingers. Ack! How are they doing that? How? So c-come on. You got it wrong. Gee, thanks. I don't know why, you're being shy; and turn away when I look into your eye-eye-eyes A cracked light-bulb metaphorically flashed over Hervey's head. I got it! With a speed born of musical accompaniment, Harvey dashed out of sight of the crowd; returning before verse 2 was complete, pulling a hot-dog stand behind him. In addition to its namesake, the wheeled stall was offering hamburgers and bacon sandwiches. A banner over the stand read "Free meat! Last chance before herbivore-hood!" Plenty of the members of the line happily accepted the offered food, munching until they came face-to-face with the pony workers who had nauseous looks on their muzzles. Heavily embarrassed, the humans bowed out and went home. Yes! Harvey cheered, fists in the air and eyes screwed tight. This is working! You don't kno-o-ow! You don't know you're beautiful! "Excuse me?" A girls voice asked. "Is it okay if I take the rest of this?" Harvey nodded, eyes still shut. Then startled, he opened them to find a pony sweep the rest of the animal products into a cloth sack. "Thanks; I'll be sure to give this a proper burial." She told him with a stern look in her eyes that would brook no argument. "But.... but!" He squeezed out, but she was gone already. The line of people continued on as before. Noooo! Harvey despaired. The Elite Beat Agents looked at the dissolving situation with annoyance. Each of the three readjusted their stances, synced their inner beat, and shoot their pom-poms with vigor. It was time to bring their A-game. Baby you light up my world like nobody else! Over Harvey's head, his light-bulb finally shattered apart, leaving only a light the brightness of a flare. I GOT IT! With the speed only music could provide, Harvey dashed into the building next to the Bureau. A moment later he dashed right back out, the deed to the building tucked under one elbow and a banner in the other arm. A quick run with a ladder had the message "LAST CHANCE INTERNET" plastered over the entrance. If only you saw what I can see, you'll understand why I want you so desperately It was a well known fact that (for the time being, at least) the majority of Conversion volunteers were made of three groups: hospital patients, young girls (restrained by their parents most of the time) and (surprisingly) young men. Young men who spend long hours back and forth on the internet arguing the strangest things, like how fast a Rainboom really was, and who was Best Pony. The kind of men who, now that they thought about it, really couldn't live without internet access. Awkwardly shuffling off, they disappeared from view, often dragging their protesting friends with them. Soon, the line-up was looking pretty bare, and other formally enthusiastic volunteers found themselves reluctant to stay after so many had ditched. That's what makes you beautiful! The pony shaking hands at the door suddenly found herself with her hooves unoccupied. "What... just happened?" Mission complete! Xlestia felt like tearing her mane out. Any idiot knew there were four fundamental forces in the universe. Gravity, Magnetism, Magic and Music. (The new-foals had tried to explain about 'nuclear' forces, but that sounded like a lot of hogwash to her.) She had made the mistaken assumption that just because humans knew nothing about Magic, they wouldn't know anything about the power of Music. Stupid of her, in hindsight. Ponies had been using Music for spontaneous music since the invention of rhythm. Humans seemed to use it for... cheer-leading? Was that the right phrase? Rather than use it on themselves for a spontaneous song and dance routine, they practiced the routine beforehand and used the excess Music to 'buff' someone else up to solve their problems. Which led her back to mane tearing - this agency... the Elite Beat Agency? They were frustrating her efforts at every turn! Sick patients with no hope but Conversion? Making them better was literally a song and dance away! Bad weather? The EBA cheered the 'Air Force' into clearing up a cyclone with fighter planes... somehow. It was only a matter of time before they moved on the Barrier, and it was entirely possible that they could gather enough Music to actually break it down. Think. You know Music. You and your ponies have dealt with it for centuries. How do you defeat a Music user? Xlestia smacked herself in her face with her hoof. No duh. 8:58 PM The patch of land nearest Equestria but outside the Barrier The stage was set - literally, a giant stage, worthy of a stadium, was ready for the dance-off between her little ponies and the Elite Beat Agents. She and her ponies had worked hard to build this so quickly, but it was done. The crowd could be seen for miles around - an equal mix of humans and ponies. Soon her musical difficulties would all be over... But first, Xlestia had to start the show. Flying down from above, she settled into her announcers podium, above and to the right of the dance stage. "People of both races; today we gather to witness the first dance-off between our two civilizations." Her opening was pretty standard stuff, no surprises there. "On the side of the ponies, we have-" some mares I threw together at the last minute "-the Mane Six!" She didn't get why so many of the audience members looked confused at the three pegasi and three earth ponies that entered stage right. Nopony else was using that name, were they? It wasn't like she'd checked thoroughly... no matter... "And representing the human race, the Elite Beat Agents!" Rather than enter like normal people, all nine agents dropped down from a jet plane that flew overhead. The six pony dancers frowned, clearly unhappy at being upstaged. Mission: Dance off! Give it the best you've got! Out of nowhere, a tune started up, independent of the equipment already set up. It was a cheerful upbeat song; no doubt practiced by the agents beforehand. Obnoxious, but what she had expected. Are you ready? Yes, she was. 3, 2, 1... GO! And on cue, the ridiculously large 'boulder' stage prop she had prepared earlier dropped on the EBA like the stone it resembled, crushing them underneath. ...silence... How do you defeat a Music user? Well, it is very hard to dance when you're dead. Xlestia looked out at the crowd, and frowned at what she saw there. The humans beginning to cry was expected, but her ponies looked like they were unsure how to react. Obviously, this was a great victory! Now Conversion could continue unopposed! "E... B... A..." Maybe she should say something? "E... B... A... E... B... A..." What, though? 'I think this makes it our victory?' 'Don't worry, they died quickly?' Gah! Think of something remotely appropriate to say! "E.B.A.! E.B.A.! E.B.A.!" Wait, what was that sound? "E.B.A.! E.B.A.! E.B.A.!" Why were the humans chanting the name of the now-defunct agency?! More importantly, why were her ponies joining in? When had the spotlight left her? "E.B.A.! E.B.A.! E.B.A.!" Xlestia abruptly realized that as the chanting grew in volume and fever, it was becoming a beat. She took a step forwards, planning to do something to stop this before she lost control of the situation, but her rear knees had locked up. "E.B.A.! E.B.A.! E.B.A.!" What magic was this? The chanting abruptly stopped as a guitar riff boomed over the audience. You got the Touch! No... her joints had locked because what she had tried to do wasn't dancing. This was the power of Music. Pony feathers. You got the power.... The boulder prop suddenly cracked right down the middle, blue light spilling from the opening. YEAH! The stone burst apart into a million pieces, the EBA jumping out as though they had been hiding under the boulder rather than squashed by it. Are you ready? they cried, dramatically posing. Ready to move with the beat. As one, the EBA started clapping loudly, which the crowd happily copied. Xlestia tried to walk down to them from her platform, but her legs would only move with the rhythm. 3, 2, 1, GO! After all is said and done; You've never walked, you've never run; You're a winner! Deciding to go with what she knew best, Xlestia shot various explosive spells at the EBA. Music intervened, though, causing the spells to miss or be dodged while dancing. Instead of dead agents, she ended up causing colorful fireworks. Timed perfectly to the beat. Of course they were. The crowd cheered at the display. You're at your best when when the goin' gets rough; You've been put to the test, but it's never enough! Dancing awkwardly to the song (she really didn't want to draw on more Music in this situation than could be helped) got her down to the left of the dance stage, where the pony dancers she'd picked for the sole purpose of luring the EBA here were... dancing?! "What are you doing?!" She hissed, as loudly as the Music would let her. The six ponies gave her a confused look. "This is a dance-off, right?" The bright pink pegasi asked. "No! It was a thinly-veiled excuse so I could get them in one place and crush them!" Xlestia spat. You got the heart; You got the motion! You know that when things get too tough; You got the touch! She knew that was information she really should have kept to herself, but in-between her plans falling around her ears and the ridiculous amounts of Music in the air (which she had facilitated, to add insult to injury) she found herself unable to care. It was a mistake, she knew, when the eyes of her dancers grew both wide and watery. They made several incoherent noises, obviously not able to put their feelings into words. Then they collectively turned tail on her and trotted over to the agents, adding the four-legged dance moves of ponies to the ridiculous flailing the humans were doing with their arms. When all hell's breakin' loose; You'll be riding the eye of the storm! She was riding the eye of the storm alright. She was fine, watching as everything around her was destroyed in the cyclone of Music. Wait - was the crowd glowing blue all of a sudden? You're fightin' fire with fire; You know you got the touch! It... it was! Xlestia had never even thought about gathering this absurd quantity of Music in one place - this was easily enough to get the whole world dancing! She was chocking on Rhythm, drowning in the rifts of the guitar! She could see huge streams of pure Music feeding into the crowd from elsewhere... no! Nonononononon - You got the touch; You got the power! The final bars of the song completed, the huge mass of Music surged forward into the Barrier. Images of Notes and strobe lights superimposed themselves over the surface as Magic and Music contested for dominance. Then, like a curtain lowering, the Barrier dissolved from the top down. Xlestia curled up in despair as the crowd cheered loud enough to rival Luna at her loudest. Mission complete! Commander Khan sat up once more from his desk, twisting around to face the returning agents. With a thumbs up, Khan roared "YEAH!" World Seven - Good friends dance together