Of Vodka and Cider

by UglyTurnip


The Battle of Stalliongrad: Part I

As the door began to crumble in front of them, Nikolai and his new human friends waited with nervous anticipation. They clung tightly to their guns and prepared for the worst. Nikolai and his Olympia were up front, followed by Reznov's PPSH and Polonsky's M1 Garand. Dimitri stood on the balcony, prepared to snipe anything that got through.

"What's the escape plan?" Dimitri questioned.

Reznov turned to him and shrugged. "We'll think of something. We made it this far, right?"

"You mean we don't have an escape plan ready?" Nikolai facepalmed. "We're screwed."

"We've pretty much been making up our plans as we went along, Chernov," Reznov replied.

"Will you stop calling me that?"

The door gave way, and Polonsky began to pour fire into the doorway. Nikolai stepped closer to the door and blasted the undead with both shots before stepping back to reload. Reznov covered Nikolai and Polonsky when they had to reload while Dimitri popped heads from above.

"You sons of bitches hungry!?" Polonsky screamed as he reached for a grenade. He grabbed it and pulled the pin. "Eat this!" He shouted as he tossed the explosive into the doorway. He then turned to the other three. "We need to get out of this house while we have the chance!"

Reznov walked backwards up the stairs, covering Polonsky and Nikolai as they quickly scrambled past him. Reznov cut down the rest of the horde, with the grenade taking care of those he missed, before joining the other three on the roof. There were already more pouring in through the doorway, and some were now making their way through first floor windows. Dimitri used his sharp vision to quickly locate a fire escape located just down the hall.

"Reznov, this way!" The young sniper announced as he pointed at said escape.

Reznov briefly glanced over at the hallway. "Excellent discovery, Dimitri!"

Polonsky's M1 Garand clicked. "Good thing you found it when you did. I'm dry!"

Nikolai was already making his way to the window. "We better get going! Hopefully we can find a box for Demp- Polonsky!"

"A box?" Reznov asked Dimitri, who just shrugged.

The four climbed onto the small metal structure and quickly climbed the stairs until they reached the roof.

Polonsky was the last to reach the roof. "We better hurry, they're following us!"

"Chyort," Reznov muttered. "These bastards are more persistent than the Germans."

Nikolai squinted and scanned the night sky for a blue beacon of light. He silently hoped that the perk machines and the box had made it into Equestria along with the zombies. After all, an Olympia drawing had made its way through, so why not other creations of 115?

"Nikolai, what are you doing?" Polonsky questioned. "We can stargaze later. For now, we fight."

Nikolai snapped back to the current threat and fired some buckshot into the first ponies that reached the top. Reznov took care of the rest. As another horde of horses began their way up the already weighted down fire escape, it collapsed under the weight and fell.

The four soldiers were temporarily safe, and Nikolai resumed scanning the night sky. His eyes widened as he spot the familiar light hovering about a quarter mile away. He followed it down to see it was located on the rooftop of another building nearby. He let out a small smile as the rest of the group sat down to rest for a few minutes.

"At least now we can relax," Polonsky wiped the sweat off of his brow. "I haven't had that opportunity since I got here."

"You're not the only one, American," Dimitri attempted to make small talk. "We're worn out as well."

"How did you two get here, anyway?" Polonsky questioned. "I imagine patrolling Berlin was not exactly action-packed."

Reznov raised an eyebrow, confused. "We were not patrolling Berlin yet. The Germans still controlled the Reichstag when we got sent here."

Now it was Polonsky's turn to be confused. "Huh? But we had received word that the Nazis surrendered on May 2nd. Was our intel wrong?"

"May 2nd?" Dimitri joined in. "It was April 30th last time I checked."

"It was May 28th when I came here. Germany and Italy have fallen, but the Japs haven't given up yet."

"You were from the Pacific Front?"

"Yeah. I served under a man named Roebuck. He died literally minutes before. . . Whatever happened. He was a good man, but he didn't see the trap until it was too late."

Dimitri showed slight pity. "I'm sorry. We had heard that the Japanese were rather brutal."

"Ever since Pearl Harbor, they've been doing whatever they can to defeat us. They're not above suicide bombings," Polonsky spit out his cigarette. "I just hope Miller and the others are giving them hell."

Nikolai sat down with them. "I'm from further into the future. America will defeat Japan, but they will do it in a morally questionable way.

Polonsky nodded. "I figured we would win, but were we desperate?"

Nikolai thought about it. "In a way. At least that's what Richtofen told me."

"And you trust the German?" Reznov sneered.

"This again?" Nikolai frowned. "I took no pleasure in it, Reznov, I assure you."

Reznov only looked away.

"What's the plan anyway?" Nikolai asked Dimitri. "I have a few friends to get back to."

Dimitri glanced at Polonsky. "Do we even have a plan?" He asked the American. Polonsky just shrugged.

"Survive. We can solve this mystery later," Reznov answered. "Nikolai, there are ponies here that are friendly, right?"

"Yes, an entire country. It's just this city that's the problem."

"Well, perhaps it is best if we find your friends."

Nikolai stood again, clutching his shotgun. "I'd prefer we find them sooner. They don't have much combat experience."

The other three slowly rose to their feet. "Where are we headed?"

Nikolai wasted no time in pointing out the blue light in the sky. "There. We get armed first, or we won't stand a chance."

. . .

Berry and the others listened intently to the distant gunfire that crashed like thunder across the city. Somewhere, there was a battle being fought, and they were unsure who was winning it. For Berry, it meant that Nikolai was alive, if fighting for his life. The alcoholic feared greatly for the safety of her human friend, so it only made her even more shaky when the gunfire came to an abrupt halt and did not start back up. She hoped that they would find Nikolai alive and well.

After a moment of silence, Cherry spoke up. "That wasn't just Nikolai."

Bertrot did not follow. "What do you mean?"

"There was definitely more than one gun shooting. I can't tell how many, but there's at least another. Didn't you hear the one that fired rapidly? I don't think Nikolai's gun could do that."

Berry nodded, trying to hide her worry. "Yeah. If Nikolai found friends, then that's good news."

"Maybe he found enemies," Curtain Call injected more tension into the situation.

"I doubt there would be a fight in a time like this," Bertrot stated confidently.

Berry hoped this was true, but Curtain Call's words worried her. The last thing they needed was a new enemy.

"Yeah," Cherry agreed with Bertrot. "If they were enemies, why did they stop shooting at the exact same time?"

"We need to find them. Standing around is not helping us get closer to our goal," Bertrot reminded them.

"Agreed. Let's get off this building," Scarce spoke up.

Bertrot used his magic to create a small orb of pure light to illuminate the area. "It will help if we can see where we are going."

Scarce trotted over to a window of an adjacent, taller building. "We can cut through here. I suggest we travel by rooftop if we want a fighting chance."

Berry turned to Cherry. "Cherry, I don't suppose you could fly around and look for Nikolai, can you?"

Cherry thought about it for a second and shook her head. "It's too dark. I would probably end up smacking into a building. Sorry, Berry."

Berry's hopeful expression dropped. "Oh, good point," She switched her gaze back to Scarce. "Ready when you are."

"We're ready," she replied.

"Hey!" Curtain Call interjected. "Don't I get a say."

"No," Berry calmly stated. "You're a bitch."

Bertrot prepared to buck the window. "Let's not waste anymore time."

The window shattered under the force of the courier's legs, revealing a small, cozy apartment that was dimly lit by the floating orb. The room was void of zombies, and was surprisingly tidy considering how sudden this apocalypse had begun. The small herd carefully crept their way through the dark, abandoned room and opened the door to the hallway. The hallway was decorated with various piles of rubbish, and a few corpses with their skulls bashed in lied helplessly on the floor. The worse thing about it was that the blood was still fresh. Cherry spewed vomit on the floor, while Berry could barely keep her lunch down.

"Disgusting!" Curtain screamed as Cherry groaned.

"Sister!" Scarce growled. "Watch it!"

"Quiet, both of you," Cherry ordered as she wiped her mouth with her hoof. "Sorry about that, though. It's. . . It's just not right."

Berry tried to give a sympathetic smile, but she couldn't find the mental strength. "It's fine. None of this is right."

Bertrot was already making his way upstairs, carrying the light with him. The others followed, partly because they were driven to the light like moths and partly because of the smell.

They made their way up the stairs, one floor at a time, their eyes wide open in case they ran into any undead. Luckily, the hallways were clear of any living dead, but there were many bodies left behind. Berry wondered if this apartment had been the sight of a fierce battle, or if it had simply been cleared out by another group in the city. The head injuries were obviously done with melee attacks, specifically with bucking, so Nikolai and any friends he may have found didn't do this, only a pony could have bashed a skull in like that. However, Berry wondered what kind of pony would be either brave, suicidal, or foolhardy enough to make such a dangerous attack.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Bertrot. "A door," he whispered, nodding at the rectangular piece of wood in front of him. It sat at the top of the flight of stairs, providing the only way through

"No shit, Sherlock?" Scarce quipped.

"Shut up," the Germane pony responded as he rolled his eyes.

"Couldn't resist, sorry."

Bertrot grabbed the knob and turned it, creaking the door open. Thanks to the light, he could see that they were on another rooftop. However, this one had a lone zombie pony trotting around idly. Surprised, Bertrot quickly but quietly shut the door.

"What's the intel, Captain?" Curtain asked in a suddenly playful tune.

"A zombie. I could see its soulless yellow eyes."

"Just one?" Berry inquired.

"Ja, from what I could tell anyway. I don't think it saw us."

Berry nodded. "Let's take it down, hopefully we'll get it by surprise."

Bertrot opened up the door. "Who's up to the job?"

"I'll do it!" Curtain Call exclaimed rather loudly, causing the whole group to jump. The dramatic pony's words alerted the zombie, who began to trot to the group. In a surprising display of power and bravery, Curtain leapt into the air, dived right into the undead equine, and proceeded to savagely beat it with her hooves. The rest of the group could only stare in shock.

By the time Curtain had finished her smackdown on the zombie, you couldn't even recognize what it had been before. Curtain's hooves were covered with blood and other fluids, but she didn't even seem to notice as she trotted over her allies. Everypony was speechless.

Curtain smiled. "That felt right."

"That was pretty metal," Bertrot finally spoke.

Even Scarce seemed shocked. "I can't believe you just did that, sister. You're normally all bark."

Curtain's smile turned into scowl. "Are you implying that I am a dog?"

Scarce facehoofed. "Seriously?"

"I thought it would be best to fight bravely and go out with a bang. Maybe they will sing stories of me as a hero!"

"You killed one zombie. One zombie," Berry spoke up "Don't get too excited."

"Shut-"

BOOM!

The ponies jumped when they heard the crisp sniper fire and saw a single bullet sail by Curtain and into an unseen zombie that was about to sink its teeth into her flank.

"Shit!" Curtain exclaimed.

They turned to the source of the gunshot and found Nikolai and three other humans on the rooftop that was directly across the street. Next to them stood a wooden box that was the source of a strange blue beacon in the sky. One man, skinnier than the rest, held a gun with what appeared to be a telescope attached to it. He was the one who just saved Curtain's life.

"Nikolai!" Berry gasped as she made her way to the edge of the building. "You're alive!"

Nikolai gave a warm, friendly smile. "Berry! Cherry! Good to see you're not dead yet! Have you seen any vodka around? Nikolai is kinda thirsty."

Berry couldn't help but chuckle at her friend's main concern. Nikolai was still Nikolai, and that meant that things would hopefully be OK. Still, her heart pounded, partly because of the surprise from the shot, but partly because he was still there. So close, but yet so far.

"Watch your fire, asshole!" Curtain Call screamed at her savior.

"Don't be an ungrateful bitch!" The man called back.

It would have descended into an all-out scream-fest if Scarce hadn't put away

One of the men in Nikolai's group began to talk to him, but Berry was too far away to pick up eavesdrop on their conversation. The drunk responded with a simple "No," that came out harshly. The man began to argue with Nikolai until the two were separated by the man holding the scoped weapon, who berated them both for arguing in a time like this. Both men calmed down, but neither seemed really happy about it.

Nikolai turned back to Berry. "Is there any way across?"

Berry shook her head. "Not that I know of."

The man who Nikolai had been arguing with spoke up. "Maybe we can hitch a ride on the back of the winged one," he pointed a finger at Cherry.

The pegasus bit her lip. "No way would I be able to carry any of you on your back."

Nikolai sighed and glanced around. "We'll fight our way to you, then. Right, guys?"

"Yeah," one of the men, who's voice lacked the same accent of the others, agreed. "Now, can I hit the box now?"

"Da."

Berry watched in amazement as the man kicked open the wooden box, which bathed the four men in a golden light as it cycled through different weapons like a slot machine, finally slowing to what appeared to be a small, strange pistol. The man took it, but his words showed that he was not pleased.

"Are you fucking kidding me!? It's a fucking toy!"

Nikolai's voice had a hint of amusement. "That's no toy, my American friend."

The American snorted. "Looks like a toy to me. I bet it shoots darts."

"Darts, no. Rings of death, yes."

"Why don't you try it, Polonsky?" The man with the scope spoke up, pointing the the horde of zomponies wandering around the street below. Most were standing from below, roaring at the currently safe survivors. So, Polonsky took his gun and fired a single shot. A lime green light plummeted straight into an unlucky pony that soon found itself horribly dismembered.

"Holy shit!" Polonsky shouted once he saw the results. "Maybe I was wrong about this gun."

"It's the Ray Gun. Everybody wants the Ray Gun. I just wonder if this map-, er, city has PhD."

"PhD? Yeah, a medic would be nice."

"Never mind," Nikolai corrected himself. "You'll learn later. Anyone else want to hit it?"

Reznov nodded. "Well, I guess it won't hurt. I'd like a Ray Gun, too."

The thick man kicked open the box and watched it cycle through various weapons until it stopped on a rifle. He took it and examined it.

"What's this? It doesn't look like any rifle I've ever fired."

"It's called a Commando. It's pretty good, not as good as a Ray Gun, though."

Reznov chuckled to himself as he admired the weapon. "Well, Chernov, it appears you know your guns. I like it," he said as he slung it over his back.

"I'll go next," Nikolai announced as he stepped over to the box and kicked it. He whistled along to the tune until it stopped on a stuffed monkey with dynamite strapped to its back.

Nikolai did not sound impressed. "I would have liked a gun better, you fucking box."

"I guess that leaves me, then," Dimitri nodded as he hit the box. Berry watched as it came to a stop on a strange-looking rifle with a notably small scope.

"Alright! A scoped weapon. What's this one called, Nikolai?"

"An AUG. It's not meant to be used like a sniper, though."

Dimitri looked slightly disappointed. "Oh, so much for that then. Is it good, at least?"

"Yeah, pretty solid. I got the worst deal," Nikolai nodded at the three monkey bombs strapped to his waist.

"How did you get three?" Asked Polonsky. "I thought the box only had one."

Nikolai did not miss a beat. "Logic is something you don't worry about here, friend. Plus, I have a magic ass."

"A magic ass?"

"A magic ass."

Polonsky struggled to find a response as he stared into Nikolai's dead serious face. "Well, OK then."

Nikolai turned back to the group of ponies, who were still there. "We're going now. Good luck, Berry!"

Berry gave a wave. "Be careful, Nik! We'll find another roof to hold out on."

Nikolai nodded and turned back to his group. "Everybody ready?"

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"Da."

Nikolai pointed at the nearby fire escape. "That's the only way down."

The three Russians wordlessly made their way down, but Polonsky hesitated. "I don't know, remember the last one?"

"Then jump down, American," Reznov mocked. "See if that's a better route."

The marine rolled his eyes and joined the others. "Asshole."

"Whatever," Reznov replied.

"He's kinda right, Reznov," Nikolai injected his opinion into the conversation. "You are an asshole."

"And you're a traitor, Chernov!" Reznov yelled loudly, a hint of hurt in his voice.

Dimitri muffled his comrade. "Reznov, shhh! All of you shut up. I know that exchange on the roof was loud, but we were in a safe spot then.

The four men entered a room through a broken window and gunned down two reanimated corpses.

"Well, our gunfire probably isn't helping either," Polonsky noted after the bodies fell.

"I'm not used to them being like this," Nikolai replied. "Before now, they were controlled by a little girl. Now, they seem to be acting on their own will."

Reznov smirked. "A little girl. How humorous."

"You wouldn't believe the shit I've seen, Reznov."

Reznov hesitated. "I can't argue with that."

The four moved through the building swiftly, blasting at anything that moved, until they reached the ground floor. Looking out of a window, they could see that the streets were still occupied by vast hordes of horses. The four of them raised their guns, but Nikolai lowered his, an idea forming in his head.

"Wait," he said to the other three as he reached for one of the monkeys on his belt. "I think one of these will do the trick."

A smile appeared on Dimitri's face. "Oh, I can't wait to see this."

Nikolai slowly cranked the handle.

"You're not Sam!" The toy monkey emitted in a high-pitched voice. Nikolai couldn't help but crack a smile at the cute machine of death that he held in his hands, but it didn't stop him from throwing it out of the window. It majestically flew through the air as it screamed "Woaaaahhhhh!" It landed with a thud in the center of the street and began to play its tune, which for some reason was very interesting to the undead as the gathered around to listen to the toy.

"That was fu-"

BOOM!

The explosion sent corpses flying in all directions, clearing a small section of the streets so they could cross. Nikolai gave himself a second to admire his work.

"Go!" Nikolai shouted as they made a break for the building on the other side. He reached for the doorknob and gave it a twist, only to discover that it was locked.

"Shit! Not now!" The not-so-drunk Russian exclaimed as he banged on the door. "Open up, please!" He cried desperately as he began to bang on the door.

The nearby zomponies had heard the explosion and were making their way to the source. There wasn't much time before they would be overwhelmed. Nikolai continued his efforts to bust down the door as the horde grew closer.

"Shit! Reznov, I need your help!"

"On it!" He acknowledged as he made his way to Nikolai. The two threw their weight at the door, but it still would not budge. Polonsky and Dimitri began to give cover fire with their box weapons, though it did little to slow the advancing zombies.

The two Russians tried again, and threw themselves at the door. Though the door did not bust down, they saw that they were making progress, slowly but surely.

The horses were only ten feet away now.

Reznov charged and smashed at the door again. It looked like it was just about to give way at any second.

Five feet and closing.

Reznov tried one last time, stepping back and using all of his might, he busted the door down and dashed inside, expecting the other three to follow right behind him.

Nikolai turned around to see both Polonsky and Dimitri pinned down by zombies, their jaws inches away from their faces. They both struggled just to keep from being bitten.

It was then that Nikolai saw two buttons appear in his field of vision.

X- Save Polonsky
B- Save Dimitri

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" screamed Nikolai. "When did this become a Telltale game?"

In a split second, Nikolai made his decision and fired his gun.

It was Polonsky.

As the American scrambled into the building, Nikolai turned his attention to Dimitri.

But, as Nikolai already knew too well, you can't have it both ways. The drunk could only watch helplessly as the pony sank it's teeth into Dimitri's neck. The young sniper could only scream as panic set in, causing his AUG to spray bullets into the nearby wall.

"Help!" Dimitri cried, his arm reaching out to Nikolai. "P-pleeeeaaaa-"

Nikolai did help, with a shotgun blast to Dimitri's head. He then quickly headed into the building, with the large undead pony army following him inside.