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// Entry 2 
// Story: I Hate Being In Equestria 
// by ImNoPony 
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So here I am. In my own personal worst nightmare and every brony's wet dream. I'm a pony, in Equestria and have no way to go home. No way I would trap here. I'm gunna get home.

So... where do I start. I still stood just outside the trees from where I started and watch down at Ponyvile. Obviously, I can't do anything on my own. I would need help and I know who: Twilight and the rest of the Mane 6. Why not Celestia or some other super magical beings? They're not main characters, are they?

Finding them shouldn't be all that hard either. I know where all of them work and where they most likely be. Applejack is at the form,  Rarity would be at her fashion boutique and Pinkie Pie would most likely by at Sugar Cube Corner. But hang-on... that doesn't mean that they will defiantly be there. For all I know, they will either be hanging with Twilight in her castle, which no way anybody will ever let me into a castle of royalty, or all of them left town. Maybe they're visiting the Crystal Empire, Canterlot or Rainbow Falls. But I stop. Even thought that would be a plausible possibility, that doesn't mean any of them were happening.

The next problem would be to find them. I know where all of their favourite places, but I still wouldn't know where they are. Twilight's castle wouldn't be hard to find because that thing is huge. But again, I can't enter there right away. I would have to find Rarity's boutique or Sugar Cube' and hope that they there. But fortunately, I'm not afraid to ask for directions. All I have to do is to pick a random, ask them to point me where to go and that's that. As for Rainbow Dash however... I don't think I could to talk to her. She would either be at her home, which is a cloud house in the sky so there is no way for me to get there. She could be with her friends, but it's a 1-in-5 chance and pointless since one other Mane 6 member already there. She could also either flying around or moving the clouds, but if that happens, she would be to fay away or going too fast for her to hear me.

But there is a problem to that plan: my cutie mark. I really like it that my mark is the anti-brony logo that I like to use. But if a pony would have a look at that, then there will be a lot of complications. They would wonder why this pony's cutie mark is banning ponies and wonder what it means. Now, I wouldn't mind telling them that I'm a human from another world. I would most defiantly have to tell the Mane 6 that if I ever want to get their help. I would tell the more common ponies that only when I have to and that's isn't a problem for me. The real problem would be telling them about My Little Pony; telling them that I know all of them from a show where I get to watch their lives. No way that would cause problems.

Then, I thought of another problem that might happen. Even if I find the Mane 6, got them to help and have something for me, Twilight would most likely send me to the Equestria Girls universe. The only experience Twilight had with humans was when she went to Canterlot High and I know that isn't the world where I come from. I have to make clear that that world is not my own and still hide the TV show from them. It might not be the hardest, but I would defiantly be a very hard challenge.

So the first thing I have to do is to got to Ponyvile. But before I can go, I have to find a way to cover up my cutie mark. I can't cover them up with any of my hooves because I couldn't walk. I can't just stick a plaster over it or else the ponies will be wondering why I'm covering it. I can't get clothes because I have no money on me. AND I'm in a big open field by a couple of trees so how can I get any of those stuff.
But as was thinking, a large rag got blown towards me. And I'm not even kidding, It was large enough to be worn and it hides my cutie mark. No seriously. It has a neck hole to fit my head through and it reaches as far back as my tail. Too bad that it doesn't have a hood because then it would look more like a robe. It would have helped because I look kind of silly in this. In fact, I would still look silly even if this did look like a robe. But anyway, at least it hides my mark and I can go straight town without any problems.

I made my way to Ponyvile. By the time that I got there, I have figured out how to work probably on 4 legs. I mean, it still feel really wired and I think I still haven't got it down, but it was enough to walk around in public. Also, it was hell walking to Ponyvile. Whenever I have to work down a slope, I tripped and fell and wouldn't stop until I hit bottom. And there was the distance. From where I crash-landed, I was a couple of miles from Ponyvile. Saying that my feet hurt when I arrived was an understatement. I don't drive and I would often walk, but that doesn't mean I always like it. At least I don't spend on gas money or car insurance.

As I was walking down the street, I was taken and look back to all of the things around me. I may not like the show, but I do know how all of the things work. I don't believe that Equestria is an utopia where everyone would want to live in, but I do know that it's a very nice and beautiful place. Nice houses, kind people, etc. In fact, why am I telling you this? If your reading this, you should know what I'm on about.
The ponies around me did give me an odd look because of the rag I was wearing, but they all mostly ok with it. Whenever I spot a bunch of girl ponies laughing at me, they quickly change their faces to look apologetic and I genuine believe that they're sorry.

Anyway, after I remembered what I was meant to be doing, I began to ask ponies where the places are. When ever I ask one pony to find where one place is, I move to somewhere else and ask to any other pony. Trying not to arouse suspicion or look weird, you know. However, every pony I seem to ask was a noticeable background pony. Bon Bon told me where Rarity's boutique is and even point to me where the spa was. Vinyl Scratch tells me where to find Sweet Apple Acres. When I was realizing the pattern and try to avoid of background ponies, I happened to walked into Derpy. Since she was there, I ask where Sugar Cube Corner was. She points to me one direction, but Dr Whooves suddenly shows up and show me that it was the opposite direction.

After all of that woo-ha, I quickly found Sugar Cube Corner. Admittingly, seeing this bakery made me feel a bit nervous. And want to know something else? When I took a peak inside, I actually saw Pinkie Pie, at the counter, serving costumers. Once I saw her, I legged it out and praying that she didn't saw me. I had just only got there. I was not ready to talk to Pinkie Pie. With her, anything could happen. Most likely, when she spots, she would recognize that she don't recognize me and would throw a party on the spot. Hay, it's Sugar Cube Corner. It's her home. Anything can happen.

After I run far enough away, I look back and see no pink pony was after me. Then I remember that this is Pinkie Pie so I waited a minute to see that she would jump out at me. When she fortunately didn't and finally relaxed, I notice all of the ponies around me was looking at me. I composed myself and told everyone: "It's ok folks. Everything is alright" and then they leave. Whew.
I didn't run too far from Sugar Cube'. I was still in the general vicinity but I think I was far enough away so she would spot me. But then again, this is Pinkie we're talking about. I went to a nearby café so hide and I sit at an outside table and away from any windows from where Pinkie could spot me.

It was there that I devise a game plan. Now that I know where some of the Mane 6 are, I need to figure out what I got to say to them. As I was pondering, a kind waitress went up to me and ask me if I have an order. I said no but I thanked her anyway.
I can't exactly talk to Pinkie, can I? She would go off and talk to fast for me to plea my case and would often go and talk about a party. That doesn't it would be a bad idea to talk to her. She is very kind and would most likely help me. It just that she lack control. Maybe if I'm either sure enough in what I'm gunna say or if it's my last resort. There is always Applejack, the most level headed and down to earth compare to the main cast. All I have to is go to her farm, act like I'm scared and confused and say that I need help. Once I say that I need some magical help and something about other worlds, she would most likely point me towards Twilight. But then again, I could do that with any other Mane 6. But I think that trick could work best on Applejack.

Once I was sorted and I figured out my game plan, I got up from my chair and get ready to leave. However, as I was leaving, I recognizable voice shouted out at me. Actually, it was more like a shriek.
"AHHH! WHAT IS THAT THING YOUR ARE WEARING?"

The scream sounded like what a female horror character would make when she was about to die and oh god, did it made my ears hurt. When I turned towards the source, still ringing in my ear, I saw Rarity giving a horrified expression at me. Feeling like that I was supposed to say a line, I ask:
"Do you mean me?"

"Of course I mean you!" she replied loudly. "Do you see any pony else wearing such a rag that defiantly clashes with his colours. And seriously, why would you wear such a... repugnant thing?"

I look at the rag I was wearing. She's right: it smells, dirty and doesn't suit me current colours. I know Rarity was insulting it and not me... so why do I feel like the one she's insulting?
"I'm sorry miss. But this is the only thing I have."

Rarity and everyone around us gasped. As I look around to see the audience we made, they gave me pity expression everywhere I look. No doubt that they think I'm some sort of homeless pony. When I look at Rarity, I saw a fiery determination in her eyes.

"No anymore"  she proclaims as she tug me with her magic. When I spotted that her horn turned blue (or whatever colour that her magic has), I feel my whole torso being pulled. As she turned around and began dragging me around town, she told me: "Come along. I run the town's fashion boutique. I have some outfits that you can wear."

As I would about to object, I realize something: This is my chance. She is Rarity, the element of generosity. I can ask her to help me get back home. And as an added bonus, I wouldn't have to wear this rag.
.As soon as my feet started moving, I was no longer being dragged by her magic. When Rarity realize what happened, I run up beside and actually got ahead of her. However, I realized that I was running while Rarity was fast trotting. I was coming off as too eager. I didn't want to look suspicious so I slow down and was moving along side her. As I was fearing that Rarity might notice something was odd about me, she just giggled. She was most likely thinking that I was eager to get out of my rag. As I was more relaxed, we made our way to Rarity's shop.

We made it there with no problem at all. As I enter, I was taken back by everything inside. Witnessing all the mirrors, drapes and pony mannequins. It was fancy, high class and... girly.

Rarity entered and says: "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique."

"Um yeah" was all that I replied as I was looking around the shop. "Um... Are you sure you have clothes for me?"

"Why Of Course, Darling! What make you say that?"

"Well it just that..." I look around to help illustrate. The girly decoration aside, all of the clothes that she had out were dresses or outfits which were suited for girls. "I don't see any outfits for guys... I mean for cults. Yeah, outfits for cults." I fortunately corrected myself before I could arouse any suspicion.

Rarity might have notice what she said, but she shock it off so she most likely understand what she said. She reassuringly replied:
"Don't worry. I made clothes for everyone of my clients. I can make an outfit for you in no time."

Hearing that actually made me happy. As Rarity brought a smile on my face, she got closer to me and began using her magic. "Now lets take that off you and lets find you a proper outfit". 

She was using her magic to take my rag off me. Fearing that she would see my cutie mark, jumped back and away from her magic. As she look surprise, I felt a little bit embarrass. I explain:
"Sorry... I am wearing this for a reason."

"Oh, sorry. I do apologize. All I was trying to do was..." reply Rarity who felt ashamed because she might done something that might offended me.

"It's ok. I understand. Just... I do hope you have some clothes for me." I reply, hoping that I would get her hope's up.

Fortunately, it did. She then reply: "Oh! right, how rude of me? Come this way and I'm sure we can find an outfit for you." She grabbed a quill, paper and took me to one of the mirrors so we could begin discussing what sort of clothes I would want to wear.

Rarity first asked me if I would want a blazer. That made me remember the times where I would have to wear a blazer for school. As far as I remember, I was sure that I didn't looked good in a blazer. But looking at myself in the mirror, as a pony, I begrudgingly admit that it would look dashing on me. Black over a white coat. However, it would only be suitable for special occasions, like fancy parties. It took me a moment for me argue the lack of a practicality with the blazer, but she got the point. We both agree with a white coat, blend in well with my white fur. I also had to argue for me to wear pants or jeans, something to hide my cutie mark. She was a bit iffy, even when I says it hides the spot which I want to hide. However, she was sold when I say that I might look good with blue pants.
She quickly got the clothes for me. Apparently, she already made them for hand. I got the clothes and made my way to one of the dressing rooms. Once I was in, I took off the rag and chuck it outside. Rarity was pleased as I hear her disposing it. Now getting the clothes was proving to be a bit of a challenge. With this new body and no fingers, it was really hard to pull the pants up. Rarity try to help, but I refuse every time she asks. Even pointing out that a lady shouldn't come in when a man is changing" and she quickly understands.

As I was changing, I remembered something else that I didn't like about my new pony body: no wings. I thought if I would ever have a pony avatar in my world (with the possibilities being between "never" and "ever"), I would want it to be an alicorn. I don't believe alicorns were gods or super powerful. But I like it because it was something I never heard or thought of before. Combining a unicorn with a pegasus. Genius! But hay, I should be grateful for being a unicorn and not being a pegasus or an earth-pony.

Once I finally got the pants on, I left the dressing room with my snazzy new clothes. When Rarity saw me, she was instantly star struck with my new appearance. I look into one of the nearby mirrors and I would have to agree, I look pretty good. I look like a member of a boy band. If it's a good or bad thing I left up to you: the reader.
"Do you think I look good?" I ask, wanting to hear a response from Rarity.

"Oh you look marvellous darling. And I do say, those pants do add to your image."

I feel like I should thank her. However, I haven't forgotten that I must pretend that I know nothing about her.
"Thanks miss. I'm very..."

"Think nothing of it. And call me Rarity."

"Thank you Rarity. And like I said I'm very grateful." But then, I sort of realize something. "Um... I don't know if I can have this."

"Why not?" Rarity asked, easily concerned.

"I don't have any money to pay for this" I explained.

"Really!" she asked, sounding surprised.

"Yep! I'm dirt poor" I stated nonchalantly.

Seeing Rarity's face made laugh in the inside but also really guilty. She does appear that she's very concerned for me. What she next was both expected from her, being the element of generosity and all, but still surprising.

"Well... you can have it. Free of charge"

"Really!"

"Of course. I can't have you going back to that rag now. Can we?" She must really hate that rag.

"I mean... Wow! Thank you."

I could ask her now. I could say where I come from and she could now lead me straight to Twilight. But call me an idiot, but I don't feel like asking her just yet. She have been so kind to me. Giving me good looking clothes and free of charge no less. I don't want to feel like I'm using her. It is like "honour before reason", it's smarter and more sensible to do it, but I would just feel terrible after wards. If I see her again, then I would be more likely to ask her.

"Well... I best be going now. I still need to find some... pony to help me."

"What! Really!" Rarity shouted, easily and accidently getting her concerned. "Is something the matter?"

"Oh no, it's ok. I can find help on my own" I reply, trying my best to leave the shop.

"Are you sure? I know a couple of ponies who can easily help you."

I froze as I was just about to touch the door. Obviously she means Twilight and the Mane 6, ponies that I desperately want to see. But I'm the biggest idiot in the world because I don't want any more of her help.
"No, it's ok. Maybe I can find them on my own." And honestly, that wouldn't be hard to do. I mean I know what they look like and know where they live so it technically is not a lie.

"Well... ok then. But you do have a place to stay while your in Ponyvile, I presume?" Oh My God! She just won't stop.

"No, it's ok... Wait! What do you mean by that?"

"Well... you said that you don't have any money and all. I just..." 

"Don't worry. I'll be ok. I can find a place on my own" I reply as I began leaving again.

"Ok... just..." she said before I shut the door behind me. 

As I was walking away from rarity's boutique, I couldn't help but feel like that I just did something rude. I may want to get out of here as fast as possible, but I know that this doesn't mean that I should be an asshole about it.

However, as I was walking, I just realized something. I got no money, I got no place to stay and she was about to offer me one. I'm the biggest idiot in the universe.