//------------------------------// // I Miss You, I Love You // Story: Never Dream // by Ximer //------------------------------// Cloudchaser lay awake in her bunk. Even after a grueling day of practice, she still couldn't sleep. Physically she was exhausted and her body was in need of rest, but her mind was wide awake, and full of thoughts that had only been strengthening their hold on her consciousness as the days passed her by. Her dreams were no longer safe from these intrusive thoughts either; their reach extending into her subconscious mind during the night. They varied in intensity, from lighthearted playful dreams, to rather vivid and...romantic visions. He's a human...sure he looks like a stallion...a really hot stallion. Cloudchaser thought, recalling their night together with a giggle before shaking her head. No, I can't form a bond with him! He's not like me, he wouldn't even know that pegasi form bonds like that...we're different...I can't be hurt again, I thought Thunderlane was the one I would bond with, but...I was wrong. Cloudchaser sighed, rolling over on her side. Then he came along...and I felt something with him...I...but pegasi are supposed to feel like this about the one they're meant to bond with...no, there's one sure fire way to test this. I have to put this feeling to rest once and for all! Cloudchaser's expression changed to a determined one as she put her plan together, until a thought occurred to her. But...what if he actually responds to me? What if he goes through with the courtship? Cloudchaser's fierce look of determination faltered as such a possibility dawned on her. "Daniel..." Cloudchaser whispered, her eyelids growing heavy as sleep finally graced her weary form. --- Hello? Cloudchaser called out, her voice echoing over the seemingly endless field of small blue flowers. Hey there. a voice echoed back. Cloudchaser turned to see the stallion responsible for all of her problematic thoughts. She wasn't in last on the cadet data sheet, but she wasn't first either, she could be better if her mind was clear. This stallion had been frustrating her without even being present. What are you doing here? the mare asked, turning her back to him. I came to see you, I missed you. Daniel replied, nipping her ear playfully. Cloudchaser blushed from the unexpected contact, her anger slowly melting away as the stallion now stood beside her, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. The mare was at a loss for words, conflicted over how to respond. I know I was wrong Cloudchaser, but you mean too much to me...please don't hate me. Daniel looked down at her, his expression dissolving any remaining resentment she might have had towards him. I...umm, d-don't be sad. I really like you! I do! Cloudchaser stammered, her heart racing now as her muzzle was only an inch away from his. She could smell his familiar scent, the one that had been imbedded into her mind. That's not good enough...because I love you. Daniel said pressing his lips against hers. "Cloudchaser?" asked a voice that sounded much too feminine to belong to the stallion in front of her. "Are you okay?" --- The world around Cloudchaser began to dissolve as she was cruelly pulled back to the waking world. Sunlight greeted her as she opened her eyes, the scent and warm presence of Daniel was gone, having been nothing more than a fantasy. Another dream... Cloudchaser thought to herself. "You're lucky today is a free day, Spitfire would have killed you for sleeping in." Sunrise said. "Yeah...I've had a lot on my mind lately." Cloudchaser yawned, climbing out of her bunk. "It wouldn't happen to do with a stallion now, would it?" Sunrise teased as the two cadets left the barracks. "Pfft, no, what am I a school filly?" Cloudchaser asked, rolling her eyes. "Mmm, I dunno...the way you were whispering his name last night..." Sunrise replied. "How did I whisper his na-ah pony feathers. I can't believe I fell for that." Cloudchaser sighed, realizing she had set herself up. "Soooo, who is he?" Sunrise asked, basking in her small victory over her friend. "I'm not telling. I'm not even sure if he feels the same way yet. I'm kind of nervous about it. I don't want another Thunderlane, but I feel something for him I haven't felt with others...I'm just confused." Cloudchaser replied. "Hmm...is he good in bed?" Sunrise asked abruptly. "Sunrise! What kind of question is that?!" Cloudchaser laughed. "Calm down, I'm just having a little fun. Seriously though, if he can keep up with you, I think it's time to throw confusion out the window." Sunrise giggled. "Oh trust me, he did more than keep up. He's kind of cute too. He's a bit dense and shy, but I'm still not sure if he likes me back." Cloudchaser said. "If you say so, just promise me you won't fall too hard for this one. I'd hate to see you hurt again, and from the outside looking in, it's pretty obvious you're falling for him." Sunrise said, giving Cloudchaser a quick hug. "I won't, if it's meant to be, then it'll happen." Cloudchaser said, returning the hug. She had to figure out the best way to make sure he felt the same way about her. Cloudchaser vaguely remembered him mentioning dating, perhaps she could test the waters that way. They had spent a decent amount of time away from each other, and with this round of training drawing to a close next week, it would be the perfect chance to see him. There was one tiny problem, she didn’t know what humans did on dates. She only knew how to approach pony stallions, which he was, but underneath that blue coat was the heart of a human. How was she supposed to court a human stallion? Did they like flowers or sweets? “Aha!” Cloudchaser exclaimed audibly as a solution to her problem dawned on her. “You okay?” Sunrise asked, jumping away from her friend at the sudden noise. “I think I just figured out a solution to my problem.” Cloudchaser proudly replied. “Can your solution wait until after breakfast?” Sunrise asked. “That depends on what breakfast is, yesterday I felt weird during practice.” Cloudchaser mumbled. “You’ve had a stallion on your mind; of course you’re going to feel weird. I just don’t understand why his name is such a big secret.” Sunrise shrugged. Breakfast was surprisingly different today, eggs with hay bacon, instead of the oats and weird…mush they claimed was mashed potatoes. Why they even served mashed potatoes for breakfast was a mystery to her, but when you weren’t really given an option you had to go with the flow of things. An hour after she had eaten, Cloudchaser picked a cloud a fair distance away from the academy and soon turned it into a makeshift perch. She wanted privacy, and didn’t want her thoughts disturbed by the constant traffic flowing in and out of the barracks. A blank piece of paper sat in front of her, with only the words “Dear Isabella” at the very top. She was no literary professional, and didn’t write letters that often. Cloudchaser wasn’t sure how to word her question in a way that wouldn’t offend the human. She was her only chance at getting an idea of what human stallions were like on dates. “Okay…you can do this.” Cloudchaser said, pulling the pencil she had tucked behind her ear free. Taking the utensil in her mouth, she began to write out her request to the human’s sister. She had to know all she could about these dates, and their courting methods. Dear Isabella My name’s Cloudchaser, you probably remember me from the circumstances involving your brother. With all that’s happened I know I have no right to ask this of you, but I need your help. I- Cloudchaser hesitated, debating on what to write next. She rolled the pencil across her teeth, pushing it with her tongue as she thought before settling on what to write. I like your brother. I know this probably sounds strange, but if you understood pegasi then you’d know we form a strong bond with who we’re meant to be with. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I know beneath the blue fur he’s a human like you, but I can’t get him off my mind. I need to know, how do humans court other humans? Do human stallions like flowers? It was easy when I didn’t know he was a human, but now that I know he’s not really a pegasus, I need to know. If you don’t respond, I understand and don’t hold it against you. Thanks Cloudchaser Cloudchaser looked over what she had written, rereading it in her mind to make sure it was clear and made sense, as best as it could anyways. Unicorns and earth ponies formed bonds in their own unique way, but pegasi were special. They were fiercely loyal, and protective of those they loved. There were always exceptions of course, but they were a minority. “Here goes nothing.” Cloudchaser said as she folded the piece of paper before sliding it into an envelope. --- “Come on, move those wings. I knew you couldn’t race, but you can’t swim either? This takes the cake.” Lean Streak said as he paced along the side of the pool in the gym. “This…is stupid…what is this supposed…to prove?” I asked, swimming to the side of the pool to rest. “It’s supposed to build up your muscles, and help your endurance. You’re hurting in those two areas the most. You should feel a little heavier with all of your feathers waterlogged.” Mike replied. “It feels like I’ve got bricks tied to my wings.” I said. “That’s the idea; you’ve still got four more lengths to go.” Lean Streak said, blowing a whistle. “Work Nazi.” I mumbled under my breath before kicking away from the side. "Use those wings rookie. If this was for your forelegs I would have told you so from the beginning." Lean Streak said, his voice was slightly distorted as water rushed past my ears while I swam. I held my peace, this stallion would keep brow beating me no matter how hard I worked. I had come to accept that, but it was getting extremely hard to keep from snapping at him. I wanted to cram that whistle down his throat, it would be a fitting improvement. With this work out finished I climbed out of the water, it had been surprisingly warm which actually made me a bit conflicted on getting out. The gym itself was cool, cold air gracing all of those in the building who were tired and overheated. It would be torture to a soaked pegasi. I felt cold air surround my wet coat as I climbed out, sending chills throughout my body. I once thought receiving a cold shower was bad, this was easily much worse. It was like being wrapped in a cold, wet blanket that you couldn't get rid of. It was even worse when I tried to bring my wings to my side, both feeling like slimy wet socks inside drenched shoes. I shook in response, which got rid of most of the water. It did take a little bit of my pride away though, I didn’t enjoy drying off in such a manner, and it didn’t feel right. It was just another reminder that I wasn’t human. “So are you getting better?” a young voice asked, making me jump. The voice belonged to a unicorn colt without a cutie mark. He had an oddly familiar tan coat, with a blue and purple mane. His excited smile was a bit unsettling as he looked up expectantly, until I remembered something Track Pace had mentioned to me. “I’m going to take a wild guess here…your dad’s name is Track Pace right?” I asked. “Yup! My name’s Star Sprint!” the colt replied excitedly. “Your dad mentioned you might be around some time. I guess you like watching races?” I asked walking away from the pool. “Yeah, I can’t fly, but it’s still fun to watch you guys. You look like blurs sometimes.” Star Sprint followed me to where Mike and Ike were sitting. I stretched my wings out to let them dry. I cocked an eyebrow when I noticed Star Sprint’s expression. I had yet to figure out what everypony thought was so special about my wings; I didn’t think they were any different from any other pegasus’ wings. Sure they were cool, but the hype of what others saw was lost on me. I made a note to go over that questionable book Track Pace had brought me. Even if he had done it as a joke, it might explain some things. “So did you really come from Ponyville?” Star Sprint asked. “Yeah, to be honest though it’s a complicated story.” I replied. “Kid, this isn’t twenty questions, this is business. So unless you’ve got business with this trainee, I recommend you scram.” Lean Streak said. “Oh…okay.” Star Sprint sulked, walking over to a bench to retrieve what appeared to be a scooter. “Hey wait!” I shouted, getting his attention. “You can stay, I mean, it’s not like he’s in the way right?” “A new face isn’t so bad, it’s better than just seeing you ugly lot every day for the last three days.” Ike laughed, until he received a painful hoof to the back of the head from Mike. Lean Streak glanced over at Star Sprint with a troubling expression. It looked as if he wanted to kick the kid out himself. With a snort he waved his hoof dismissively before focusing on me again. “It’s your problem if something happens to him, I told him to go home.” Lean Streak said. “Thanks.” Star Sprint said trotting back towards our small group. “Don’t mention it, but I do have a question, where did you get that scooter?” I asked. --- "Four more days." Isabella sighed. She had been counting down the days until it was time for her to take the test. Her heart hadn't been in it at first, but after her talk with Applejack, and spending a bit more time with the others, she started putting more effort into trying to pass it. She wanted to be a part of Equestria's society, now that she didn't feel as alienated as before. Isabella still didn't care for the idea of staying still, but it was slowly starting to grow on her. She couldn't help but wonder who or what else would be there to take the test, now that she was slowly becoming common knowledge. Her brother had taken it alone for the sake of keeping the peace, which sounded kind of depressing, but he told her that the others were waiting on the other side of the door for him when he left. Her thoughts were derailed by the barely audible creaking wood, coming from her brother's room. The sound put Isabella on high alert as she slowly got up from the table. Her brother had gone on and on about how safe Ponyville was compared to other places on Earth. She wished he was here now so she could rub it in his face that somepony had broken in. That would have to wait, right now she had to deal with said intruder. What sounded like the faintest of whispering was coming from within the dark room. The door was slightly ajar, allowing Isabella to peek in to see what looked like a fluffy tail. The rest of the...whatever it might be, was out of view. Isabella was a big girl, she could take care of herself. Besides, what's the worst some wimpy pony could do? The only real threat might be an earth pony, maybe a unicorn. Rainbow Dash had told her about ways to deal with unicorns though. As long as you could break their concentration on the spell, it wouldn't work, or it would misfire with horrible results. Isabella could only assume the pegasus was speaking from experience. With the grace of a rhino, Isabella burst into the room, turning the lights on as quickly as she could. The instant light flooded the room she was both shocked, and more than a little irritated by what she saw. "Discord, you've got a lot of nerve!" Isabella fumed. "Oh, you. Leave it to a hot head to sour a moment." Discord said. Isabella lost it and threw a punch at the lord of chaos, her fist making contact with his muzzle. She had gotten in fights before, and was easily capable of removing teeth, but much to her surprise, and disappointment, she was only rewarded with a soft squeak. It was a sound similar to that of a dog toy being squished. "What the?" Isabella asked aloud, taking another swing at the odd creature. "You -squeak- certainly are more -squeak- violent than your brother ever -squeak- was." Discord sighed as Isabella continued to hit him. She finally stopped, realizing that despite her frustration, she couldn't harm the chaotic being. It was as if his body just absorbed the blows, comically. "If you're quite finished, would you mind shutting the door on your way out?" Discord asked. "You...you have some nerve to even show your ugly, mixed up face anywhere near this house!" Isabella screamed, making Discord wince slightly. "Not so loud, I'm not deaf. Can a draconequus not express genuine remorse every once in a while?" Discord asked. "Remorse? Do you really expect me to believe you broke in because you're sorry?!" Isabella's voice caused the windows to rattle slightly. "Contrary to what you might think, I'm not some heartless monst-" Discord started. "No! You shut up and listen! Your stupid, selfish actions have resulted in ruining another person's life. I say person because he's not a damn quadruped, he's a human! All he wanted to do was help his friend, but you just couldn't butt out, could you?!" Isabella asked. Discord was silent, recoiling away from the woman as the volume of her voice continued to rise. He had seen others angry before, but he was in an awkward position now. Sure, he could remove her mouth, or make her vocal cords produce annoying kazoo noises, but she was right. His magic had nearly killed one of his friends. "Now he's being put through God knows what, and it's your fucking fault!" Isabella was beginning to become hysterical, but with good reason. The truth was Isabella wasn't used to having to stick around after a metaphorical bomb went off in her life. She was almost always on the move, here however; she didn't have that luxury. When her brother had been declared dead back on Earth, she was absolutely devastated, she had been on the verge of giving up, until she received a phone call from him that fateful day. Isabella did her best to hold back her tears; she would have given anything to have Rarity or Pinkie present, if only for moral support. Her tears were slowly starting to escape the corners of her eyes as she glared hatefully at Discord. Discord sat on the edge of the former human's bed, staring at the VIP pass that was hanging by its lanyard from the closet door handle. He had the matching one at his house, though he would never tell anypony else about it. "I'm sorry." Discord said, hanging his head before disappearing just as a loud bang came from the front door, followed by the sound of hooves hitting the wood floor. "Isabella, are ya okay?!" Applejack called out. Isabella didn't reply, proceeding only to lean against the wall, and let herself slowly slide down to the floor, as she started to sob. She had been trying to keep things under control, but she didn't want something else to happen to the only family she had in this world now. "Isabella...you okay sugar cube?" Applejack asked softly, placing a hoof against her shoulder. She smelled faintly of cider, which gave one a clue as to what she was doing out this late. "No, everything's not okay." Isabella replied, tears still coming from her eyes. "Ah'm sorry Isabella, Ah figured somethin' was troublin' ya when Ah heard the shoutin'. Don't you fret none though, everything's gonna be alright." Applejack said as she gently pulled the human's sobbing form into a hug, which was quickly returned. "I'm sorry." Isabella whimpered, not to Applejack, but to the one person who couldn't hear her apology for not being there to help him now. "Ya ain't got nuthin' to be sorry for. Ah know you miss him, but you'll be able to go see him soon right?" Applejack asked, trying to calm her down. "It's not that. I couldn't do anything to help him, that stupid jerk decided to play a game, and someone else paid the price for it...he nearly died." Isabella replied, holding the earth pony close. "Sugar cube, Ah don't think ya'll should be alone tonight." Applejack said, fearing for her friend's sanity and safety. "I-I'm fine, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself!" Isabella exclaimed. "Now listen here, if Ah have ta drag ya back to Sweet Apple Acers Ah will, but ya ain't stayin' here tonight by yer lonesome." Applejack snorted, freeing herself from Isabella's embrace. "Okay..." Isabella submitted with one finally sniffle. --- I stared up at the ceiling, my wings stretched out on either side of me as I rested on my back in deep thought. My mind kept playing over the events that had brought me this far away from home. It had taken a while to get used to calling Ponyville home as opposed to Earth, but it came with time. I didn’t hate Discord; the more I thought about it the more I realized how little I really knew about the inhabitants of this world. For example, body language was far more important to them than it was to humans. Their ears, muzzle, eyes, wings, legs, tail, almost everything played a part in communication. If anything, Discord had given me a chance to see things from their point of view. He had done this before, but there had always been a time limit. Now that the magic had been reversed, I was starting to get a better understanding of how their society really worked. When I was human, I was still an outsider, I didn’t twitch my ears or paw at the ground to get my message across, I just talked. Then there was…her. Try as I might, I couldn’t forget about that mare. The near constant state of exhaustion Lean Streak kept me in during the day distracted me, but when I was alone with only my thoughts to keep me company, I thought of her. “I screwed up big time…” I mumbled. With a sigh I picked up the book Track Pace had gotten me as a joke. I couldn’t believe I was about to actually read this. I spent the next two hours reading through the book. I glanced over some information on wings, and was surprised to learn that not all pegasi wings were the same. I hadn’t expected them to be due to body sizes, but there was actually four different categories. There was passive soaring, active soaring, elliptical, and high-speed wings. The last one made me roll my eyes at the lack of creativity, but who was I to judge? As I looked at the chart in comparison to my own, I identified mine as passive soaring wings, given their size and shape. They were more uncommon than the others. It made sense now that I thought about it, the first time I had actually flown; I hadn’t tried to flap my wings as fast as I could. I had simply soared until I decided to land. What didn’t make sense however; was what made them so interesting to the others. I would just have to ask Track Pace in the morning. “I bet Rainbow’s wings are high-speed.” I said, turning the page. I soon came across a topic that managed to hold my interest. Bonding, or what pegasi once upon a time called marriage. It was a state one entered into when they had found their other half. Pegasi held firm to the belief that there was a single pe-pony somewhere in the world that they were meant to be together with. Their thoughts, their lives, everything shifted to involve and include said individual. I remembered reading that most birds paired for life. Given the similarities in behavior and build, it wasn’t too farfetched to assume pegasi had the same mentality. I closed the book with a sigh. I wanted to see her so badly, if only to tell her I was sorry. It only added to my mental misery knowing what I knew now. Maybe then I would have stopped her, shown more restraint. Twilight had claimed to have solved the problem with the spell, so why did I still feel this way sometimes? “…..ugh, fuck me.” I groaned, jumping off the bed and gliding over to a small desk. I couldn’t write to Flitter, she probably wanted to kill me…actually there was no probably to it, she had threatened to cut me. Twilight had enough problems to deal with so she wasn’t an option either. There was always Fluttershy…but she seemed more like the type to give good advice about pets than a relationship. “Hmm...not many options left.” I mumble, proceeding to pull out a piece of paper and begin to write. Rainbro Hey I need some solid advice…