//------------------------------//
// 5: The Great Northwest 
// Story: Rarified Airs 
// by SpinelStride 
//------------------------------//

	After the arid heat of the Mongrel Lands, crossing north into Blueblood’s realm was a relief. Weather-wise, at least. Coming back into more populous lands, where everypony was a unicorn, meant Dash had to walk or stay in the carriage again. She wasn’t so thrilled about that part. Due Respect made sure to prepare her, as long as she was stuck on the ground.
“You’ll find that Prince Blueblood keeps the most classical, conservative court in Unicornia,” he told her. “The Blueblood line is reputed to run straight back to Queen Platinum, and he keeps his court highly formal as a result. At his court, any noble is expected to promptly present themselves to him upon arrival - Countess. So there will not be an option of you avoiding him. I recommend you minimize the chances of a faux pas by presenting yourself, saying ‘Greetings, Your Highness,’ and then blandly agreeing with anything he says until he dismisses you. The Prince is frankly known to be a boor, so try to ignore any rudeness he may show you.”
Rainbow Dash flexed her wings. “He can’t be worse than Tiara,” she muttered.
Due Respect gave her a small smile. “No, but as a stallion in a position of power, he can be bad in much more offensive ways.”
Dash blinked. “What do… oh. OH! … Wait, really?”
Due Respect nodded. “Simply put, Prince Blueblood’s personal tastes set the fashion for the rest of his domain. As such, all his life, his whims are social mandates. Mares squabble for a word of praise from him. As a result, he is… indiscriminate in exactly what he considers ‘praise.’ He is, in a word, crude.”
Dash tilted her head, thinking about that. “Is he any good at actually ruling?”
Due Respect gave her a small, respectful smile. “An excellent question, Countess. In his own way, one might say that he is. But the details of that, I believe I will leave to his steward, Nice Guy. Nice Guy is a friend of mine, and I suspect you will find his commentary enlightening.”

***

Blueblood’s castle, tastefully named Castle Blueblood, was the very picture of castle-dom. Literally. It was built to be as perfect a replicate of Queen Platinum’s palace as could be managed, and as such it looked exactly like storybooks and history books alike said a palace should look. Tall pristine white walls, spell-bleached to perfection on a regular basis, with proud horn-inspired towers overlooking the walls, with spell-matrix gems positioned below the parapets to guard against any hostile magical assault. Smooth paving stones lined the entrance and the courtyard within, and that was just the outer fortifications.
The palace within was every bit as perfect. Marble-clad stone made it gleam, with more marble for the floors and decorating the walls. Magically-preserved portraits hung on the walls, scowling down at those lesser mortals who dared to walk within the halls of Castle Blueblood. Each portrait had a little plaque underneath, detailing precisely when the depicted unicorn had ruled, and how many generations away from Queen Platinum they were. Princess Twilight had portraits of her family line put up too, but the Sparkle line had lost its records some hundred and fifty years ago in retribution for a failed challenge, so hers didn’t go nearly so far back.
Dash had put the skirt back on her outfit, but she was still feeling disturbingly underdressed. Most of the ponies she saw were wearing elaborate fancy gowns or ornate suits, and lots of them were wearing amazingly over-coiffed wigs. Next to all of them, Due Respect’s formalwear looked austere, and hers felt like nothing at all. Walking up the plush red carpet into the throne room was a weird experience. All the over-fashioned courtiers cleared the way and ogled them with poor attempts at disguise, but wouldn’t say a word to anyone in the caravan, since they hadn’t presented themselves to the Prince and thus hadn’t shown whether they were in his favor or not.
The throne room was just as classical as the rest of the castle. Tall marble pillars topped with scenes of victorious Blueblood battles throughout history supported the high roof, with gold and gold leaf liberally applied everywhere. Blueblood’s throne was wide enough for him to lie sprawled across its cushions, with one of his mistresses holding a bunch of grapes over his lips for him to nip at. The unicorns in the throne room were loudly talking, each trying to show more prominently than the next how well they were enjoying the Prince’s hospitality.
Due Respect came to a halt in front of the throne and cleared his throat. “On behalf of Her Majesty Princess Twilight Sparkle, Sovereign of the Queen’s City, Duchess of the Canterlot Range, Lady of the Heartland of Unicornia, I, Ambassador Due Respect, do greet you, Prince Blueblood, Sovereign of the Great Northwest, in friendship and peace.”
Prince Blueblood sat up and lifted his chin, waving a hoof to shoo away the mares doting on him. “We greet you, Ambassador Due Respect, and welcome you to the Great Northwest.” Then he sniffed. “For now, at least. Even if Princess Twilight were to come to her senses and acknowledge me as proper king, we all know Princess Tiara would never stand for it. Still, the brat must grow up someday, and then we can arrange to repair matters. In the meantime, all one can do it endure gracefully.”
Due Respect didn’t so much as clear his throat. “As you say, Your Highness. The Heartland and the Great Northwest have long sought to do best by Unicornia.”
Blueblood rolled his eyes. “Oh, I do see your goal, Ambassador, and really. You believe the griffons pose a threat to Unicornia? The Empire complaining about griffons, the Rich Lands complaining about dragons, or the Mongrel Lands worrying about a rebellion, it’s always the same. My ministers can soothe your fears, I’m sure. Now! I see you’ve brought Sparkle’s science project with you, eh?”
Rainbow Dash wanted to fly up there and slug him in that shiny white face of his already. There was just something so… smug about him, even if he hadn’t been spewing out insults with every breath. She gritted her teeth.
Somehow, Due Respect kept his calm. “Indeed, Your Highness. I present the Lady Rainbow Dash, Countess of the Imperial Sky, Lady of the Wonder Bolt.”
Dash stepped forward and stiffly bowed her head. “Your Highness,” she managed to get out.
Prince Blueblood looked down at her, then shrugged. “On the skinny side, but it might be entertaining to feel feathers under my belly sometime. And a rather stylish swimsuit. Perhaps if some sunny day presents itself, a trip to the seashore might be in order. You’ve more to introduce, Ambassador?”
Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped. Crude was one thing, but THAT? Talking about using her like that to her face, not actually saying a word to her, and then dismissing her, that fast? She didn’t know if he had an heir yet, but suddenly putting an end to the Blueblood line with one well-placed hoof sounded like a really good idea.
“Exit the throne room, Rainbow Dash,” murmured Due Respect in her ear. “Nice Guy is waiting. Do not make a scene.” Then he cleared his throat and introduced one of the old nobleponies from one of the other carriages.
Dash turned around and walked out, her body shaking with rage. If he’d made a stupid ‘bird’ comment she would’ve been less mad. Those she heard all the time. Nopony had ever said something like THAT to her face, though!
A blue stallion with a white mane slid in next to her once she walked out the doors. “Come with me, Countess,” he said. He had a Scandaneighvian accent, though muted. “Ambassador Due Respect asked me to speak with you. I’m Steward Nice Guy.”

***

Dash was still shaking with anger, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go; she didn’t even know where their rooms were in the palace. If she could stand to stay in the palace. She felt like she was snorting fire as she followed the steward into a side room.
He closed the door, then sighed. “My apologies for the Prince’s behavior, Countess,” he said. “He has certain appearances to uphold. Please believe me when I say that he was, in his own way, doing you a tremendous favor.”
“FAVOR?” snapped Dash. “He said in front of his entire court that he just wanted to use me, then ignored me!”
Nice Guy flushed but nodded. “Yes, Countess. He knew what he was doing. Standards of beauty are based on the Prince’s preferences in the Great Northwest. By declaring you of some interest, he ensured that any other noblepony you meet will treat you as an attractive and favored mare, and one who might have his ear in the future.”
“That was him doing me a favor,” Rainbow Dash said flatly.
The blue-and-white pony nodded again. “Yes, Countess. Had he made no comment, you would likely have been subject to a wide variety of social assaults aimed at ensuring you would not catch the Prince’s eye at any point. Had he suggested an immediate assignation, you would have had to choose between accepting his offer on the spot, and thus being hounded by status-seeking stallions and mares alike, or rejecting him and being an immediate social outcast. He is not as crass as he appears, nor as foolish. But he maintains the appearance so as to keep the attention of the upper class on him.”
“I’m still gonna buck his precious family line back to Queen Platinum if he tries to lay a hoof on me,” grumbled Dash, glaring at the door and wishing she could suddenly discover a new pegasus power of heat-blasts from the eyes.
“That would be a distinctly bad idea,” Nice Guy said mildly. “Should that happen, I would find it difficult to raise the Blueblood Guard to assist Princess Twilight Sparkle against the griffons.”
“You would?” Dash asked.
Nice Guy nodded. “Yes, Countess. I would. You are familiar with the usual form of succession among Princes and Princesses in other regions of Unicornia, yes? The strong challenge and claim their thrones, and so on.”
Dash nodded. “Yeah… and the Bluebloods go way back, so they must be really strong, right?”
Nice Guy gave her a smile. “No, that isn’t how it works. They encourage that perception, certainly. But what keeps the Blueblood line on the throne is that they spend very little time actually ruling, and a very large amount of time preparing for duels. Prince Blueblood represents the power of the Great Northwest, yes, and his edicts are law. But he exercises his power very rarely.”
Dash blinked. “So… That means…”
Nice Guy patted her side. “That means in practice, the steward does the actual ruling. We have considered attempting a formal change in the power structure to make it official, but I suspect that the other sovereigns would object to ending the monarchy. And so, we remain unofficial.”
“Umm… Why are you telling me this?” asked Dash.
“Because Due Respect is a friend of mine, and he asked me to teach you,” he said. “That stallion is very good at seeing things from perspectives others miss. You will never be a princess, true. But you will be a ruler. The manner in which you one day raise your foals will set the tone for how pegasi will administer themselves.”
“That… is a different perspective,” Dash said slowly. “It’s hard enough to wrap my head around being a mom.”
Nice Guy chuckled. “Parenting is a very different kind of ruling, yes. I have a colt and a filly myself - No Way and Sweet Dish. I find I have to take a much more direct route with them. It is a worthwhile and important role.”
“It’s kinda different when you know you have to, though.” Dash glared at the door one more time for good measure. “And no way I’m letting him be involved.”
Nice Guy hmmmed. “Well, I can’t say I blame you, but it would have some benefits. Consider the implications of having your line sharing royal blood from three different regions of Unicornia, for example.”
“Not worth losing my lunch over at the idea of it,” Dash said firmly.
“As you prefer. You are in a particularly… unrestricted position, in many regards. Most noble lines have many considerations about family feuds and alliances to consider, but your only notable connection is to the Sparkle line, which is too close for you to marry back into at any rate. And there are few who would consider challenging Twilight Sparkle.”
“Yeah, she’s powerful,” Dash agreed.
“Every prince and princess holds their throne for more reasons than being powerful, Countess,” Nice Guy told her. “Every royal rules because they believe that they are the pony who should rule - and are willing to fight to make that happen. Princess Twilight’s predecessor stepped down rather than face her - but had she refused, then I have no doubt that Princess Twilight would have challenged her. Contestants in a duel may agree to abide by other restrictions or victory conditions, but in the end, no matter what other rules may be agreed to, it has always been the case that when only one mare is left, that mare is the winner. And Princess Twilight, no less than any other royal, would have accepted the possibility that she would have to kill. And then there are her famous gardens,” Nice Guy added.
“Wha? What about the gardens?” Dash asked. “Do they come alive and defend her or something?”
Nice Guy laughed. “No, it’s more the other way around. You have heard about Twilight Sparkle’s rather famous childhood magical outburst?”
Dash shook her head. “No, nopony ever told me much about Princess Twilight’s childhood. Why, what’d she do?”
“Turned her own parents into potted plants, temporarily,” Nice Guys told her. “It wore off, but… well, it has not gone without note that every so often a new pony-shaped topiary is added to her gardens. And she takes very conscientious care of those particular plants. Everypony is quite sure she’s much too nice to be turning those who offend her into bushes. But not sure enough to forget it.”
“No way,” said Dash. “She would so not do that. Never!”
Nice Guy chuckled. “She doesn’t have to actually turn anypony into a plant, Countess. By simply leaving the hint that she might, she creates the inkling of doubt in the minds of those who would even think about opposing her. That she is a very pleasant mare I have no doubt. But she is also canny and has to defend her position. Just like Princess Zecora has ensured that any unicorn attempting to unseat her will face immediate unrest from her non-unicorn followers, and Filthy Rich has arranged to ensure that any attack on his daughter, when she comes of age, will result in the challenger facing an overwhelming financial assault before ever starting the duel. It is better to be loved than feared - but it is even better to be loved and feared. The only way to rule without having to instill some degree of fear is to be so powerful that the uselessness of attacking you is obvious. Princess Twilight may approach such a level, and she has done quite well in spreading the myth of her own power, and making it hard to tell just how much of the story is myth, but even she is still, in the end, just a unicorn.”
“... That’s the only way?” asked Dash.
“Under Unicornian law, at least, yes,” Nice Guy said. “The griffons practice a far more extreme form of it, while certain donkey philosophers have proposed an alternative. The Great Northwest has adopted some of their ideas. In essence, it works by taking the nobles out of the day-to-day workings of ruling. Each village has a baron, yes, but also elects a mayor. The mayor tends to all the daily tasks, and the baron needs concern themself only with defending the town. The mayors then elect unicorns to gather and handle larger projects. And the Prince’s Steward oversees that gathering and arranges for royal funds to be distributed accordingly. Since the elections happen repeatedly, everypony has a chance to win sooner or later, and so is willing to peacefully tolerate the times when their ideas lose out.”
Dash blinked. Then blinked again. “Wait a minute, you’re running a republic underneath Prince Blueblood’s nose?” she asked incredulously. “Like the Earth Ponies did? But that left them all disorganized and weak, so the unicorns wiped them right out!”
Nice Guy smiled at her. “I’m not surprised Princess Twilight taught you about ancient history. But bear in mind that hoary old maxim: ‘History is written by the winners.’ In this case, the winners were unicorn nobles, who wanted to make sure everypony knew that a strong noble leader was the only way to run a country. My personal opinion is that the Earth Ponies were wiped out more because of their lack of magic than because of their organizational structure.”
“Well… I guess so,” Dash said dubiously. “As long as it works for you.”
“It does,” said Nice Guy. “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

***

Rainbow Dash stuck by Nice Guy while the caravan was in the Great Northwest. He showed her a lot of stuff about how to actually run the place. It wasn’t fun learning like flying with Gilda, and sometimes the screwy logic he used felt more like manipulating ponies rather than ruling. But it worked. The Blueblood Guard was raised and headed for the Crystal Empire to help ensure the griffons stayed on their own territory. All sorts of trade deals came through, and Nice Guy showed Rainbow Dash how to analyze the impacts of each one. Lower tariffs on wheat were good for a lot of ponies, but hurt the local wheat farmers, who had to charge higher prices because their soil wasn’t as good for wheat, but was better for water-intensive crops like tomatoes. So they had to get lower tariffs back, except that didn’t work as well because tomatoes didn’t ship as well. So they also had to get access to the higher-quality seeds from the Heartland. And so on.
It made Dash’s head hurt a lot, and she really wished she could just go flying. Not swimming, though. Blueblood’s comment about a day at the seashore made her never want to go in the ocean again. Nice Guy did explain that to her, though - by making a positive comment about her dress, disguised as an insult about it being swimwear, Blueblood had ensured that Lady Rarity would be sought out by any number of his nobles looking for the cutting edge of summer fashion.
She still wasn’t going to visit the shore as long as she was in the Great Northwest.
By the time Due Respect wrapped up all the polite political stuff he had to do, letting everypony see him dealing with Prince Blueblood every day and showing how seriously the Heartland took the Great Northwest, Rainbow Dash felt like her thunderbolt mark was about to turn into an inkwell. Nice Guy didn’t have her write anything official, but he asked her to take notes and figure stuff out a lot. Usually things he could have done himself in a heartbeat, she was sure, but she had to really pound her head against it. Or, once she told him, beat her wings against it - by getting a guard training area reserved for her to use, so she could fly low and get in the air while trying to figure out how the Great Northwest’s government really worked underneath the facade.
Still, Nice Guy lived up to his name. He never quite pushed her into anything, and he let her figure out just how he was talking her into doing all that work for him, so by the time the caravan was ready to go, she thought she’d really got it. At least the first bits of it. Enough that she wasn’t going to be caught off-guard once she got home and had Heartland nobleponies making all sorts of courtly forays at her again.
And if he taught her a few other interesting things that didn’t have to do with governing along the way, that was pretty cool too.