It’s been two weeks since I became friends with Roma and in that short time, several things have changed. The first is that I now counted on Roma to take me everywhere, per his voluntarism, of course. He really didn’t seem to mind… The second, was that he joined my crew for lunch, and he was now friends with Lyra, Bon Bon, and Tavi. The third, was that I now caught malicious glares from Applejack whenever she saw at me. The fourth and biggest change was that he was nice. He was happy. He smiled whenever he sat with us and he rarely scowled anymore. We were all happy. Things were good and I honestly would only change one thing.
I still wanted him. I selfishly wanted to be with him, but I knew I never could. I knew he didn’t feel the same way and would never want me. So I shoved those feeling back down my throat. I made myself be his friend; made myself be what he needed. If I could, I'd change it so I didn't want him. I'd make it so I wouldn't crave his company every minute of every day.
It got hard. I won’t lie. Sometimes, it even hurt. Not much, but it was there. I… I wouldn’t call it love, but it was something. It was something good that I had to keep locked away and I hated it.
But as this world dictates, things never stay simple for long. Something always happens that ruins everything. And it was about to happen… and things were going to change. For better or for worse, I honestly couldn’t say.
~Sin~
The Ninja rolled aggressively into my driveway and Roma quickly dismounted. I watched through the peephole. Yeah, it’s creepy, but I didn’t care. Tavi was off at church, and we finally had some time together… alone.
I shivered at the thought.
I waited a few seconds after he knocked, then opened the door and gestured for him to come in. He casually strode in, carrying with him a large, rectangular metal case, reminiscent of a guitar case. There was another, slightly smaller case in his other hand. I had no idea what they were.
He seemed to catch my stare and smiled. “Entertainment,” he said, and pointed at the couch. I sat down as he pulled the armchair closer to the coffee table and sat the shorter case on the smooth wooden surface. He promptly popped the latches on the case and opened it so I couldn’t see the contents. There was a sharp click, followed by about thirteen more slightly fainter clicks. “Tell me, Vinyl. How do you feel about guns?”
“Guns are cool, I guess. Never shot one, though. Why?” I said, already knowing why he had asked.
“Because, I really, really like guns. I own two rifles and a revolver. Though, my mother keeps the revolver,” he said, then sat something on the table. It sounded heavy and metallic. “But, I’ve got plenty of practice shooting it. For now, I find these are sufficient to shoot with.”
He Suddenly held up what could have easily been mistaken for a real handgun, if not for the bright orange tip. It was nice, but it looked really old. The black paint (or is it a finish?) had scratches all along it from presumable constant use. “That looks awesome. So, you play AirSoft?”
“No. War is not something I care to experience, simulated or no. No, I like target shooting; it’s a good way to let off some steam.”
“So, is that a gun too?” I asked, pointing at the longer of his two cases.
“While that is a rifle case, it is not a rifle that resides in there.” He paused and gave me a smile that was unlike anything I had ever seen on his face, and I honestly had no idea what to make of it. All I know is that it made my heart beat about two thousand beats faster. “That, dear Vinyl, is something I should not have brought. I honestly don’t know why I did.”
I sighed and crossed my arms, giving him a bemused glared. “But what is it?”
“A secret, Vinyl. Just as private as your illness,” he said bluntly, causing me to flinch. His eyes shot to the floor and he scowled. “Sorry.”
“Nah it’s cool,” I said, failing to convince him. “So, did you bring targets or do we have to shoot tin cans?”
“I brought Styrofoam plates and a red sharpie,” he said with a smirk.
~Sin~
To say Roma was a skilled shooter was an understatement. To say he was a badass with a gun was grazing the iceberg. If I could pick a word to describe his skills, it would be ‘legendary.’ The man never missed and all of his groups were within two inches of one another. To add to his badassery, he shot one handed, which meant his hand was less stable.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t hit squat with a two handed grip. Out of the six magazines I emptied, I hit maybe ten times. With each ‘mag,’ as he called them, holding 13 rounds, I’d say that was pretty pathetic. Roma tried to assure my that it was because I was new to shooting and I needed a chance to get better. Despite my sucking, I found myself enjoying every second of it.
Two hours passed and we sat at the patio table, refilling magazines. Thank god he let me use the speed loader, because my hands were obviously not dexterous enough to load each individual BB the way he could.
“How do you do it?” I asked, casually sitting the loader and my magazine on the table. “How can you not miss? It’s not normal.”
He burst out laughing, causing my face to turn bright red in embarrassment. After a moment, he clutched his chest and started coughing.
“I-I’m sorry… but I was waiting for you to ask me that,” he said as he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a very small pistol. It was actually smaller than his hand. “This, Vinyl, was my first AirSoft pistol. It’s modeled after the Colt .25 vest pistol. I used this for three years until I got my first full sized pistol.”
“It is pretty small, but that doesn…” I trailed off as he pointed at the top of the gun, where the sight were. Where the sights were supposed to be, I should say. Because there weren’t any sights, save for a small groove running down the slide.
“When you have sights that small and you learn to hit a soda can from six yards, you become able to hit anything with a normal pistol at thirty,” he explained, then slid the tiny thing across the table to me. It was cute and I kind of wanted one.
“That is insane. You’re insane,” I said, sliding the little gun back to him.
“You wanna be insane to?” he asked with a grin.
“A hundred percent,” I said and picked my magazines back up to resume loading.
~Sin~
“Now, hunch your shoulders. Good,” Roma said, standing beside me with his arms crossed.
“It’s uncomfortable…” I mumbled, before pulling the trigger, hitting the edge of the plate.
My friend-turned-instructor stepped around behind me and, before I could comprehend what was happening, his hand came up to cover my left eye, while the other hand reach up to my gun and lifted it slightly. “Now, aim between the rear sights and line the front one up with the center of the plate.”
I did as he said and, to my surprise, it worked. I hit the target dead center, prompting a smile to spread across my lips.
“Um, I wouldn’t be interrupting anything, would I?” My roommate’s voice made the both of us jump and take several step away from each other.
“Not at all, Octavia, I was just teaching Vinyl the proper method of aiming a pistol,” Roma rambled, blushing furiously and taking a sudden interest in the shape of the clouds.
“Y-yeah, what he said. And it worked! Look, I hit the center!” I said, running over to where the plate was pinned to a tripod in a poor attempt to hide my own blush.
“I… see…” she said with a smirk. “Well, Roma, your phone was beeping. Apparently you missed a call.” She held out Roma’s cell, with it’s white case covered in red lilies. Freaking lilies.
“Huh, it’s Sis.” He lifted the device to his ear and listened for a moment, before his eyes grew wide, then narrowed in anger. “Romany you stupid bitch!”
Tavi and I stared at him in shock. It was rare for Roma to get mad and rarer still for him to use profanity. He caught our looks and his face turned red.
“Apparently, Romany has crashed our mother’s motorcycle and broke her arm.”
“She can’t ride?” I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Something like mine, a 300, suuuure. Mom’s bike is an R1; a super bike. Even I’m a little afraid of it,” he explained hurriedly as he tucked his gun into the back of his jeans. “Also, she's only fourteen. Vee, I’m leaving my stuff here. I’ll be back for it tomorrow. Don’t open my rifle case!”
“Good thing we’re off school tomorrow…” Tavi said quietly as she watched the red head sprint inside the house.
“I hope his sister’s okay.” I said, collecting the scattered airsoft equipment.
~Sin~
In Tavi’s house, lunch was always at twelve thirty sharp. Possibly earlier, depending on how hungry you were. But today, Octavia sat in the living room at twelve thirty two, staring at the rifle case on the coffee table and I'd had fixed her lunch. “It’s a guitar,” she said, slowly reaching for the case’s handle. “It can’t be anything else.”
She was jolted from her trance when I sat a bowl of hot instant noodles in front of her.
“It’s none of our business and he asked us not to open it,” I scolded, receiving a wounded look from my best friend.
“But Vinyl…”
“No buts, Tavi. Eat your noodles,” I scolded, pointing a fork at her.
“Fine… but you can’t say you aren’t curious,” she replied, picking up the bowl.
“Of course I’m curious, but I’m not going to betray his trust.” I paused to blow of a fork full of noodles. “For all I care, there could be a nuclear weapon and the key to disarming it is in the case. I still wouldn’t open it.”
“And they say I’m stubborn,” she muttered, prompting me to chuckle into my ramen.
~Sin~
It was dark in my room, save for the areas where the moonlight shone in through the windows. One such area housed Roma’s rifle case, opposite of where I sat in bed with my knees to my chest. Tavi was right. It was driving my crazy to know what was in it. It took everything I had not to run over and prize it open. Roma had said he shouldn’t have brought it… but what could that mean? Was it something he was embarrassed about? Was it something he thought I would make fun of? Did the case somehow house a dark secret that he thought would make me hate him?
I suddenly realized that I was no longer in bed, and I was staring at the case from a mere foot away. It’s glossy black surface glimmered in the lunar glow and that was alluring to me as I ran my eyes across it hungrily.
And then I noticed something odd: a nameplate was located on the top, residing over the gap of the case handle.
How I had missed it, I’ll never now. The name on the plate was not that of its owner, but still one I’d heard before, even though I couldn’t place where. The little aluminum plaque bore a simple name and it was one that sent shivers down my spine.
Ophelia.
I walked hurriedly back to my bed, picking up my phone along the way, and promptly flopped down onto the soft mattress. Sitting cross-legged, I tapped my phone and went straight to the contacts. There were three options here. The former-lover-turned-hated-enemy, the acquainted tailor, or the rambunctious former friend.
I settled for the latter.
Pinkie, what is Ophelia?
The response was almost immediate.
Did he show you?
I sighed, and replied honestly. No.
Again, my phone almost immediately buzzed in my hand. Then don’t worry about it. He’ll show you when he’s ready.
That’s helpful! I sat my phone on the bedside table, and laid back letting my legs unfurl and hang off the side of the bed. “This sucks…” I muttered and glanced to my right, over towards my desk, where his jacket hanging on the back of the chair. With a sigh, I got out of bed and slowly walked over to it, barely realizing that my bath robe was hanging loosely around my shoulders and dragging across the floor. I stared at the jacket for a while, before picking it u, and hugging it to my chest. I gave the garment a small sniff and smiled faintly. It still smelled like him. Which, oddly, smelled like cherry candy.
I draped it back over the chair, before my hands found my robe’s tie and gingerly pulled at the knot. With a slight shuffle, it fell over and down to my elbows, exposing my bare upper to the cold night air. It wasn’t unpleasant, but I wasn’t going to stay naked. I let my robe fall to the floor, then picked his jacket back up and slid it on, feeling the soft liner slide over my equally soft skin. It still felt so warm… I hugged my chest, feeling him wrap his arms around me through the jacket. I closed my eyes and lost myself in fantasy as I slowly walked over to my bed.
This time, there was no fictitious setting, no valley of the damned, no knights and certainly no angels. It was just me and Roma, standing in my bedroom. He stood maybe six inches away from me, looking down at my face. He was shirtless and his eyes held a softness that I’d only seen when he watched the video at the farm. They were half lidded and their harsh scarlet irises did nothing to deter my affections to him.
My robe shifted as I reached up and placed my hands against his chest. “I’m ready,” I whispered and his face came down to gently make contact with mine.
“I love you, Vinyl,” he whispered back, after pulling an inch away.
“I love you too…”
~Sin~
Voices. I hear them, and they won’t shut the hell up. Don’t they get that some people like to sleep in when they don’t have school? But then I realized that one was Octavia, so I sat up feeling something heavy around my chest. I looked down to see his jacket and I froze. Last night’s fantasy came rushing back to me as I looked down at the sheets and my made face twist in horror. They're wet, and I knew exactly why.
Did I… to him? In HIS jacket?! There were a lot of things I wasn’t certain about at that moment, but I knew for an undeniable fact, that what I had done was absolutely, one hundred percent, wrong on so many levels! What was I thinking? Sure, I’d thought about me and him getting it on before, but… Not even Lyra would stoop this low… and that girl was always ready to go. There was a sot knock on my door, and I panicked, and I shouted out the first thing I could think of.
“I’m not decent!”
I heard Tavi say in a muffled voice for someone to go wait in the other room and after the sound of retreating footsteps, the door swung open, causing my eyes to grow wide.
“Vinyl, Ro… ma…” her eyes immediately trained on the jacket and grew wide. Those eyes shifted up to my face and spotted the tears, before they shifted down to the soaked sheets and my underwear. The door closed behind her and she walked over to Ophelia and picked the case up, then turned and headed back towards the door. Before opening it back up, she looked back me with concern in her eyes. “Vinyl, are you okay?”
“No... I'm not..." I whispered, covering my face with my hands. They still smelled like arousal.
“Alright, I’ll be right back,” she said, and left. True to her word, she returned a moment later and rushed over to me, and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “It's okay, Vinyl... Talk to me.”
I heard an engine scream out of the driveway and I vaguely noticed it sounded different than usual.
“It's not okay, Tavi! I masturbated over a friend… Who the fuck does that?!” I said, and wrapped my arms around her waist and sobbed into her chest.
“A human being,” she said softly and lifted my face up to look at her. “Vinyl, let me tell you a secret. I find you unbelievably attractive and have, on a number of occasions, found myself wanting you. You know this.”
“You told me a few years back…”
“Four weeks ago, I did the same over you. And that wasn’t the first time,” she admitted. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened and I did everything that shocked people do. “It's perfectly normal. As they say, a woman's lust dwarfs that of a man. Now, tell me something. Do you feel relieved?”
“Relieved?”
“As though a weight has been lifted from your shoulders?” she said, and pulled me back into her embrace. “Like all the sexual tension’s just evaporated?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I muttered into her bosom. “Why do you do it though?”
“Because I knew that, if I didn’t let out that tension, I would do something both of us would regret.” Her chest vibrated with every word she spoke and that, along with her heartbeat and her speech, was enough to quell the chaos in my heart. “I never want our friendship to be ruined because I was too horny to think straight.”
“Thank you, Octavia.”
“Of course, my little DJ.”
It didn’t matter what Octavia said; I felt awful about what I had done. A very wise girl once told me that we all have the capacity for sin in our hearts, but it’s our choice whether we act on that darkness and let it take us, or whether we shut it away and let it wither and die.
I guess I had just let my darkness overcome me and I knew that I could never look at Roma the same way.
Things had changed and I couldn’t tell if it was for the better, but I had a sinking feeling that it was going to be for the worse.