//------------------------------// // In Which I (Somewhat) Successfully Teleport Several Living Beings // Story: The Usurper King of Equestria // by UsurperBronyZant //------------------------------// *Location: Outside the Castle of the Two Sisters, Everfree Forest, Equestria, Equus, now...* As soon as I'd finished introducing myself I regretted using my full title. Everyone present tensed up at the Usurper King portion, making me think that perhaps I should've left that part out. "Don't worry," I told them in an effort to assuage their fears. "It's just a title. I'm not after anyone's throne or anything. I hardly deserve that title anyway. I never usurped anyone, nor was I a king. Probably a good thing too, I'd just make a mess of whatever I was in charge of," I continued. This seemed to calm them down somewhat, but they were still weary of me, which I could understand. "Well, it's lovely to meet you, Zant," said Celestia. "Now, would you happen to know anything about a rather large dark magic pulse originating from this point?" she asked. I could tell from her tone of voice that she suspected me, when I really had no clue about it. Thinking quick, I figured the best bet was to tell the truth. I regained my composure before speaking again. "Lovely to meet all of you as well. And I'm sorry Princess Celestia, but I don't know anything about a dark magic pulse or whatever. All I know is that I was at a convention wearing a costume like this, I bought a neat thing from a shady vendor, some crazy stuff happened, and then I woke up in that castle like this," I said, gesturing to myself as I finished. The natives exchanged some looks. Their gazes eventually settled on Applejack. "He ain't lyin'. If he was, I woulda said sumthin' before." Apparently this mare was their equivalent of a lie detector. Suddenly, Princess Luna's horn started to glow a soft azure. "Uh...what are you doing?" I asked her. "Scanning you for dark magic," she replied briskly. "It would seem you have a large amount of it within you, and with what this scan is telling me of your physiology, you should be able to control it." I wasn't sure what to make of that. "Um...okay. Question: exactly how much dark magic is in me? Like, on a scale of one to world-breaking," I asked her. "There is enough within you that if it was all released at once, it would destroy Equestria at least," she replied, to my eternal shock. "And yet you know nothing of the anomaly..." "Crap, they still suspect me!" I thought. "Maybe it happened when I arrived?" I suggested lamely, silently praying that they'd buy it. "Perhaps," said Princess Luna. I was still somewhat fanboying on the inside over the fact that I was in the same area as her. I mean sure, just being in Equestria is pretty awesome, but Luna...Luna is best pony! (At least in my opinion.) "What do you think, Twilight Sparkle?" said best pony to the lavender alicorn. "Well, Applejack said he isn't lying, and she's always right about that sort of thing, so considering that, I suppose it's possible," said Twilight. "However, there is one other thing we should consider," she continued. "Whatever could we have forgotten?" asked Rarity. "W-we're still in the middle of the Everfree F-forest!" said Fluttershy. The poor mare was so afraid, she'd gone into the fetal position and was trembling. "Yeah, maybe we oughtta do sumthin' 'bout that..." said Applejack, saying what we were all thinking. "Uuhhgh, we're gonna have to walk all the way back to Ponyville!" said Rainbow Dash, evidently annoyed by this prospect. "In all that icky muck!" added Rarity, predictably. "Ooh! Ooh! We won't have to walk back!" said Pinkie Pie. At this, we all looked at her with curiosity. She took this as her cue to continue, saying, "I could mod my party cannon and make it big and strong enough to launch us all the way back to Ponyville!" Upon hearing this, we all gave her a deadpan look. It was then that I realized something. "Wait, why would we walk when there are three alicorns here, any of which should be capable of teleporting a small group of beings a relatively short distance?" I asked the group. It was Princess Celestia who answered. "As much as we don't like it, none of us can teleport a group of this size from here to Ponyville. My sister is rather tired and still somewhat magically drained, Twilight hasn't slept in at least twenty-four hours, and I recently teleported Luna and myself to Ponyville to Canterlot, and even if we were fully rested, given the unusual nature of the Everfree and its strange magicks, combined with all the residual dark magic from that pulse, we still wouldn't want to tempt fate," she said. "Ah. I see," I said. It did make sense, but it sucked that I had to walk all that way. I wasn't the most athletic person back home. Sure, I got a bit of exercise every now and then, but I was a gamer by nature. I HATED having to walk that far, especially in a forest, ESPECIALLY in clothes like the ones I was wearing now. "Well if the cannon won't work, why don't we have Zanty teleport us to Ponyville?" said Pinkie Pie. More looks were exchanged between the natives, or at least all of them except Pinkie Pie. Seriously though, what was up with them doing that so much? Were they telepathic or something? Or did they just know each other that well? Finally, Twilight spoke up. "Could you do it?" she asked me. "To be honest, I'm not sure," I said. "I've never had magic before, but I think I used magic when I took off my helmet, and when I did that, I just thought about it, so if it's that easy, then I should be able to." Twilight clearly wasn't thrilled by my answer. However, when she looked at Rarity and Rainbow Dash, she could see they were both giving her looks of (fake) sadness. She gave a sigh of resignation before saying to me, "Zant, I'm sorry to ask this of you after everything you've been through, but...do you think you could teleport all of us to Ponyville?" "Um...I could try," I responded. Upon hearing this, Rarity and Rainbow both let out huge sighs of relief. "One thing though," I said. The two mares both suddenly looked more downtrodden than they had before. "I've never teleported before," I said. "Anything I need to know?" I asked the assembled magic-wielders. It was Twilight who answered me. "Oh! Well, before you begin the teleportation sequence, you need to picture the place you want to go in your mind," she said. "I'm not sure how the mechanics work with your sort of magic, so that's really all I can tell you," she continued. It wasn't much, but hopefully it'd be enough. "Okay," I replied. "Um, I've never been to Ponyville before. Could someone give me a picture of it? A big, flat, wide-open space would probably be best," I said. "I'll do you one better," said Twilight. Then she briefly charged her horn before letting loose a bolt of magic. The purple projectile struck the exact center of my forehead, yet strangely it didn't hurt. The natives, however, were shocked at what their friend had done. "Twi! What the hay did you do that for?!" asked Rainbow Dash, wholly confused. "Relax Rainbow, I didn't hurt him," said the young alicorn. "I just gave him a mental image of the meadow near Ponyville. Now he should be able to teleport us there!" she continued somewhat enthusiastically. "Oh," said the prismatic mare, ever eloquent. To be sure, I looked within my mind, and sure enough, I could conjure up a mental image of a meadow overlooking a small, rustic-looking town with a massive, vaguely tree-shaped, crystalline castle in the middle of it. "Well I'll be damned," I thought. "Well, c'mon! You know where to go, now do it already!" Rainbow Dash was clearly growing impatient. "Okay. Here goes," I said, trying not to let the nerves sneak into my voice. I imagined my helmet coming back over my head and shutting itself and the face guard coming back down. As expected, this came to pass. I then imagined myself rising into the air and staying there, levitating; my ridiculously long sleeves moving in a breeze that only they could feel, not unlike Celestia and Luna's manes. As before, it happened. As I rose into the air, I heard a strange noise that started low and got higher in pitch the higher I rose. *woooooooo...* When I was up about seven feet, I slowed my ascent, and the noise faded away. I then imagined myself and the beings before me being in that meadow instead of where we were now. It didn't happen right away, but I had a feeling of what I had to do. I pulled my arms to my chest, putting my right arm over my left, my right arm going to my left shoulder and my left arm going to my right shoulder. Then, I brought my left arm spreading and going up and around and back to where it was before, my right arm doing the same but going up first and then down. "Hnnnnnnngh..." Then, I thrust my arms straight out to either side, the stupid symbol from before appearing behind me. "HAAAAAAA!" Suddenly, the scenery shifted around the ten of us. *Location: Small meadow near Ponyville, Equestria, Equus, now...* I looked around. I was still levitating, so I imagined myself falling to the ground and my gravity was restored, as I expected. It seemed that all I had to do to use magic was think of what I wanted to do with it, and then it would happen. I looked at the others. They were okay...except for the fact that they were upside-down... And a few inches off the ground... They all hit the ground at the same time, a chorus of "Oof!"s and "Ouch!"es resounding as they did so. The only one unscathed was Pinkie Pie, but then again she was wanted for the crime of murdering physics. I magick'd off my helmet to reveal my embarrassed expression. "Sorry...this is all new to me..." I said. "Are you all okay?" I asked while silently praying I hadn't hurt anyone. "We're fine, thanks," said Twilight. "And don't worry about it, for your first time teleporting, you did great, especially for such a large group. Next time, just make sure we land on the ground. And right-side-up," she continued. I let out a sigh of relief at that. I was so worried I'd accidentally hurt someone I'd practically just met. Princesses Celestia and Luna picked themselves up and turned to the rest of us. "Well, I'm glad we were able to determine the source of the anomaly without serious injury," said Princess Celestia. "Twilight, will you be able to handle delivering the news to the townsponies?" she asked her former student. "Don't worry, it shouldn't be too much trouble," responded Twilight. "There is one issue though. Zant, do you have a place to stay?" she asked me. I hadn't even thought of that. "Well...no," I said, despondent. "Well, I guess you can stay with me and Spike for now. It'll be nice to have somepony else to share that giant castle with. We'll have to see what food you eat..." She said the last part more to herself than me. "Really?" I said to her, astonished. "I mean, thank you, I'm honored and all, but I wouldn't want to impose..." "Nonsense," said Twilight. "Until we can come up with a more permanent solution, you're more than welcome to stay with us," said the lavender alicorn with a tone of finality. "Well, thanks!" I said, shocked at how kind and generous she was to open her home to me so readily. Suddenly, we turned our heads as we heard Princess Celestia clear her throat. "Well, as lovely as it's been to see you all, I'm afraid Luna and I need to get going," she said, gesturing to her sister as she did so. The lunar princess had actually fallen asleep and was leaning on her sister. "Oh, no problem! I'm sure we all have things we need to do as well," said Twilight. "I need to get some, *yawn*, sleep myself," she continued. The other ponies simultaneously voiced their agreements, all saying where they had to be--Rarity had to get home and make sure her cat and her sister hadn't killed each other while she'd been gone, Applejack had chores to do, Pinkie had to help the cakes with their twins, Fluttershy had to check on her animals, Rainbow had weather patrol, and of course, Spike was with Twilight. "Then we shan't keep you. Goodbye everypony! And good luck in Ponyville Zant!" said Celestia. She then walked a few steps away before using her magic to conjure a long, golden horn. She took a deep breath and then rather forcefully blew into the horn. The result was a long, smooth, rich, VERY LOUD note that I'm sure was heard across the continent, if not the world. Apparently this was what Celestia used to call chariots to her, as not five seconds after she'd sounded her painfully loud call, a gilded chariot pulled by pegasi wearing what looked like gilded armor from the middle ages came down from on high and took the two senior alicorns away to who-knows-where. After Celestia and Luna left, the eight of us--six ponies, one dragon, and myself--took a moment to recover our collective sense of hearing. Once we'd done so, we said our farewells and went our separate ways. Twilight, Spike, and I watched the other mares go. Once they had, Twilight turned to me and said, "Well, let's go and get you settled in!"