//------------------------------// // Shellshocked Part 1 // Story: No Game No Life // by Spirit Shift //------------------------------// Lyra, head held high as a result of her recent victory, strutted proudly into her home away from home with equally high spirits. Opening the door, her eyes met the baleful gazes of her fellow competitors. Raising an eyebrow, Lyra looked around and found that some of them were staring at her with varying degrees of displeasure. She could literally feel the tension directed at her. So she did what any sensible unicorn would do, she tried breaking the ice. “So… I had fun… Good game?” “Good game?” growled Rainbow Dash, flying right into Lyra’s face. “You cheated!” Rainbow felt herself pulled back by Vinyl who moved over to the unicorn’s side. “Hold on, Skittles. The princess did say that cheating was cool if you knew how.” Rainbow opened her mouth to retort but Octavia’s sigh cut her off. “I’m not all that mad about her cheating, per se. I’m just upset that she gave us false hope by letting us believe that it was a fair match by helping us. If you really wanted to help us you would've told us the cheat you used.” Octavia gave Lyra an odd look. “In fact, what was the cheat you used?” Twilight put a hoof to her muzzle and looked up in thought. “I think you said something about a code.” Lyra’s smile returned and she started hopping in the air. “Up. Up.” Pinkie quickly jumped in to join her. Octavia was about to say something when Lyra stopped hopping and started crouching low. “Down. Down.”  Afterwards, she moved from side to side twice. “ Left. Right. Left. Right. Then two buttons appeared on the ground under my hooves. It’s called the Konami… no wait. Ponami Code. I gives me a whole bunch of cool stuff.” “Fascinating…” Twilight muttered. “Does it work on other games?” Now it was Lyra’s turn to glance up in thought. “Yeah, a few. But they mostly only work on Ponami games.” Sweetie Belle stopped reading her book to look up at Lyra from her bed. “What are Ponami games?” “Games made by the Ponami game developers,” answered Lyra. “But anyway, Rainbow Dash, can you honestly look at me and say that you wouldn’t use a cheat or glitch if you had one?” “No… well… yes,” Rainbow’s eyes darted left and right nervously. “But I don’t know any cheats!” Twilight walked to the center of the gathering and looked around the group. “That brings up an interesting question. Most of the games I play don’t have cheats. And even if they did, I don’t see the enjoyment in using them. I also know that Sweetie Belle doesn't know any. So who here knows how to use cheats for games that we might come across.” Pinkie, Lyra, and Vinyl all raised their hooves. Twilight raised an interested eyebrow at Pinkie Pie. “Glitching and crashing the game doesn’t count, Pinkie Pie.” Pinkie put her hoof down dejectedly while Twilight returned her gaze to the two grinning unicorns. “Alright. How many cheats do you two know?” Vinyl reeled back in offense. “Twilight! I do not believe that you have the right to question us like this,” she joked. “I don’t think that we have to tell you,” Lyra added. “Come, Vinyl. Let us go where we won't be bullied for information.” Together they lifted their noses into the air and let out identical huffs before making their way out of the house, closing the door behind them. Angry, Rainbow stomped after them.“‘Bullies’?! You’re the ones who’re cheating!” “Rainbow wait!” Twilight called, and Rainbow stopped with her hoof at the door. She turned back to Twilight, who had moved toward the Statue of Chaos in the far corner. The Statue of Chaos was a small stone statue of Discord laughing, much like he was in his first imprisonment pose. Discord had left it in place of himself should the group need to reach Luna or himself for any reason. “Let me see if the Princess can help.” Touching the goat horn caused it to begin glowing blue for a few seconds before projecting a screen on the wall closest to it. Princess Luna appeared on it with her back turned to the screen. It swayed side to side in tune with the tune she was humming. Luna was so engrossed in whatever she was working on that, she didn’t even notice the group. Much less aware that her blue backside was wiggling in the face of an audience. Blushing slightly, Twilight cleared her throat. “E-excuse me, Princess Luna.” Luna’s head jerked up in surprise and she snapped her head around. Purple paint dripped from the paintbrush that sat in her mouth. Seeing her ponies looking at her awkwardly, she quickly spit the paintbrush out and scrambled to move what she was working on out of sight. Clearing her own throat she smiled down at Twilight like nothing was wrong. “Yes, good morning…er afternoon...? Good day, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna finished. Truthfully, she had no idea what time it was since she didn’t have any windows or clocks in her private room. She hadn’t felt the pressing urge to raise the moon yet so she knew that it wasn’t nighttime. “Are you all ready for the next challenge already? I should remind you that it has not been a full day as of yet.” Twilight shook her head. “No, Princess. It’s not about that. We have a complaint… Well, more of a question on whether the cheats used in the recent match are fair. Most of us don’t know any cheats, much less how to use them inside the game.” On screen, Luna hummed in thought for a second. “Personally, I have never needed cheat codes. I have used mods before. I have even exploited glitches to gain an advantage. But to modify the very code of the game to ensure an unfair victory seems wrong to me as well, Twilight Sparkle. Such a thing is not very far from hacking.” Twilight smiled. She knew it, cheating was unfair. “So that means that--” “However,” Luna continued, causing Twilight’s expression to falter slightly, “the rule that allows cheating to persist is not mine to change, but rather one of my companions. I will have to talk with them to see if we can reach a compromise.” Twilight frowned and wanted to argue, but she understood that it was out of her hooves at this point. She simply hoped that the princess could do something. “Alright. Thank you.” With that, the screen disappeared altogether. Twilight turned back to the others and sighed. “Well, there you go.” Rainbow groaned and took to the air. “She’s the head GM right? Why can’t she just order the rule to change herself?” Octavia sighed and massaged the bridge of her muzzle with a hoof. “Would you want a gamemaster who exploits her position to change rules on the fly? Or one who would rather ask your opinion and be fair about it, Rainbow Dash. Think carefully, it’s not that hard of a question.” Sweetie hopped back onto her bed so that she was eye level with the others. She glanced at her hooves with a thoughtful expression. “Was it really okay for us to report them? Technically, they didn’t do anything wrong.” Twilight was about to answer but stopped to think about the meaning of Sweetie’s question. Cheating was allowed in the rules, so should she really be upset about it? While Twilight pondered the ethical conundrum, Rainbow fell to the ground and stepped up to answer the filly’s question. “Of course it was! When they use their cheat codes, they gain a huge advantage over the rest of us. We just saw it happen.” Pinkie hopped and sat a hoof around Rainbow’s shoulder. “But, Dashie, isn’t it also true that Lyra already had an advantage since she already knew her way through the game?” “Pinkie does have a point,” said Octavia. “I had an extraordinary advantage in the first challenge because of my knowledge of the character’s move sets and weaknesses. If we come across a trivia game, I’m willing to bet that Twilight will have an advantage. In fact, Princess Luna pointed out our specialties at the beginning. We all have an advantage at something.” “But Lyra’s specialty is everything,” Sweetie argued. She turned toward Twilight and pointed at her cutie mark. “It’s like you having the special talent of magic. You could already do any kind of magic because it’s nothing specific.” Rainbow instantly hopped on that train of thought as she jutted a hoof in Sweetie’s direction. “Then it makes even less sense for her to cheat! If she already knows how to play most of the games we play before we do, why does she need to cheat?” “It’s called stocking your assets, Rainbow Dash,” rebutted Octavia. “Take what advantages you have and use them. It’s the same as in reality. Ponies you know, connections you’ve made, talents you have. You make use of all of these things to get ahead in life. Plus, friends or not, you have to remember that this is a competition, first and foremost.” Rainbow groaned and rubbed the top of her head in frustration before turning to Octavia. “Will you pick a side? Why are you defending her?” Octavia’s brow furrowed as she glared at Rainbow. “I’m not defending her.” She calmed slightly but continued her glare. “I’m simply stating the facts. Plus, if I were to defend her, I’d say that I don’t even believe that Lyra was doing that anyway. She probably did it just because she could. She’s stupid like that. Vinyl too.” Octavia’s glare softened and dropped to her hooves. “And they can be stupid together for all I care,” she muttered. Twilight nodded. “I understand what you’re saying, Octavia. But I’m still not sure that I’m comfortable with them being able to break the game rules whenever they want, even if it’s fair by competition rules.” Twilight gave a long weary sigh. “I don’t know. Let’s just wait until tomorrow for the Princess’ ruling.” There was a general group murmur of agreement. The group dispersed and went back to their own activities. Sweetie Belle went back to her book, staying inside the house for once. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash sat back in front of the television. Twilight joined Sweetie in her reading. Octavia glanced back towards the door before heading towards her bed, simply deciding to sleep her way into tomorrow. ~~~ “Welcome, ponies! Back to the--” “Don’t you say it!” Luna stopped her grand gesture and leveled a death glare at Octavia, who responded with a look of her own. Twilight looked between them nervously and backed away. Finally, Luna muttered, “I really hope you win this round.” Loudly, however, she continued. “Welcome back to the Hub, as I have now decided to address this room.” Lyra recoiled in horror and nearly began crying. She was quickly comforted by Pinkie, who held her closely while gently rubbing her back. Pinkie glared at Luna who looked on in confusion. “Too soon,” Lyra sniffed. Still confused at the scene in front of her, Princess Luna decided to move on. “Alright… Twilight Sparkle, I have talked with my compatriot, and we have come to an agreement on the use of cheat codes and game glitches.” Lyra stopped acting and turned towards Twilight with a look of genuine surprise and betrayal. “You… reported me?” “Not cool,” Vinyl added. She looked over at Twilight; her shades made her expression unreadable, but her tone showed that she was less than alright with her decision. Luna continued before Twilight could respond. “Do not fight, my ponies. This issue was one that needed to be addressed and, after a lengthy discussion, we have come to a compromise that we believe benefits all parties. It has been determined that fairness was the main issue. In that sense, a countermeasure was devised. Two, if you will. “One countermeasure is the new rule that, if you use any sort of cheat to win a challenge and you do not inform the others of the cheat, you suffer a point deduction from your winnings, if you should win. If you do inform the others, and they use the same cheat but you still win, you suffer a lesser deduction. However, that second part only applies to glitches and secret pathways. Cheats like the… Ponami Code will suffer the same deduction either way. “The second rule states that cheat codes can now be undone. For instance, say that Twilight knew about the code, and she knew that Lyra had been under its effects, she could also use the code and remove its effects from Lyra in the middle of the match. This encourages you to watch your opponents for any strange movements. In addition, if you are willing to also take a point deduction from your current total points, you are able to talk to Discord before a challenge and receive a possible cheat or glitch that you may use.” “So we can use our points as currency?” asked Octavia. Luna nodded. “It is something that I wanted to bring into play later. Over time, more things can be bought with points. This is the first. But be warned; the more helpful the cheat, the more costly it will be. This goes for those who are deducting it from the points they intend to win and those who are deducting it from their current total.” “Hold on a second!” Rainbow yelled, trying to wrap her head around this influx of info. “It still sounds like the ones who don’t cheat still get gypped. If we cheat, we lose the points we have. If they cheat, they lose from points they don’t have yet. What’s the big deal? Why can’t we ban it altogether?” Luna nodded sadly. “I agree, and I brought up similar arguments. Their response was this. ‘Being able to use cheats effectively is part of being a good gamer. Being able to overcome them is another part.’ They even used me as an example. They said that I never use cheat codes and that I’m an incredible player. I could not argue because I have defeated those who cheat by knowing the game better than them. Unless they have infinite health, it is possible for me to defeat them or work around them. They also brought up the argument that the act of getting rid of using cheat codes entirely would in fact be unfair.” “How would it be unfair?” asked Octavia. Luna pointed a hoof at Rainbow Dash and her group. “It would require changing the original rules to help you all.” She then moved her hoof over to Lyra and Vinyl. “This is unfair to them because they have not broken any in the first place. Unless it was explicitly stated that they cannot cheat, it is legal. In the end, we simply made it possible for the rest of you to gain equal ground.” Luna lowered her hoof and turned back to Rainbow Dash. “The decision that you questioned was made because of something Octavia said. Lyra and Vinyl knew their codes before-hoof. They are assets that they came into the game with. You all, however, need to acquire them by artificial means after the fact. This is why. I am sorry, but this is the only way that everything ends on fair terms.” Twilight nodded. “So, to sum everything up, those who use cheats deduct their points from what they win, but they have the option to tell us what they’re doing. We, on the other hoof, pay from our current point total, and have the choice to counter theirs. All of these cost the same, right?” Luna nodded. “Indeed. The costs do not differ between where the points are deducted from.” “Understood.” Twilight turned to the others and gave them a hopeful smile. “So, what do you all think?” Octavia spoke first. “I think that Princess Luna did all that she could, and for that I’m grateful. Things do seem fairer now.” Next was Sweetie Belle, who raised her hoof for attention. “I’m alright with it.” Pinkie remained cheerfully hyper. “Okie dokie lokie!” Rainbow Dash crossed her forelegs in opposition. “I guess it’s fine then. I can tell that a lot of egghead thinking went into this.” Twilight nodded and finally turned to the two unicorns giving them an apologetic look. “I’m sorry for reporting you two. I--” Lyra waved her off with a smile. “Nah, it’s fine. I just wanted to do it cuz I could. But now I that I have the green light, you can believe that I’m gonna cheat at everything!” Lyra announced, throwing her hooves in the air. Vinyl, however, shrugged. “I donno. I usually do it to make others mad. But I guess if nopony’s gonna crank about it, kinda sucks the fun out of it, ya’ know.” She glanced at Rainbow Dash and grinned. “But I’m game!” Princess Luna clapped her hooves in glee. “Excellent! Well then, let us carry on with the challenge.” Her horn lit up in her signature dark blue aura. “I shall let today’s gamemaster explain.” ~~~ Rubbing their eyes, everypony struggled to clear the spots from their vision. Spontaneous teleportation was never easy to get through. As per routine, they got to work checking out their surroundings. It was a race track filled with colorful oddities. Large mushrooms roamed the tracks. Several parts of the track steered in ways that seemed to want the drivers to defy gravity. Large monochromatic boxes with question marks sat in straight rows in several specific spots. Scattered in random spots all around the track, however, sat dozens of large golden bits. Although there was a large arcing sign in front of them, nopony present even needed to read it to know where they were. While everypony instantly recognized the area, Rainbow Dash was the first to hop into the air and cheer. “Awww yeah! It’s my time now!” Rainbow did a few loops in the air before falling to the ground and giving Octavia a mocking smirk. “You’re going down!” Deadpanning at first, Octavia smiled and responded, “Alright, then. But I’ll be taking you with me. It’s dangerous to be in first place throughout the entire game, you know.” “Pfft,” she scoffed. “I’ll be so far ahead that your shells won’t even reach me!” Vinyl hopped in and joined the ribbing, “Doesn't matter where you are, dude. Lightning will still strike your asses.” Over by Twilight and the others, Lyra and Pinkie Pie were hopping in similar excited pattern. “Oh my Celestia, I’ve always wanted to play this game!” said Lyra. Pinkie gasped. “Really? When we leave you should totally join us. I always gather up my friends to play on weekends! Game Night!” Meanwhile, Twilight was rubbing her temple in frustration. Even now, she couldn’t bring herself to tell Pinkie that racing games were her least favorite kind. Especially games as competitive as this one was. She already began to resign herself to her usual spot in last place. Sweetie Belle looked around in confusion, even more so when she found that she was the only one doing so. “I don’t get it, where are we?” Everypony simultaneously turned and stared at Sweetie with identical expressions of surprise. Sweetie shrank back at the sudden attention. “What?” Pinkie quickly leapt forward and picked up Sweetie Belle to look her in the eye. “Are you telling me that you’ve never played this game before, Sweetie Belle?” When Sweetie shook her head, Pinkie’s eyes widened further and her voice began to sound squeaky and strained. “Have you at least played Mario Party?” Sweetie shook her head and fell to the ground. Pinkie stumbled back before fainting entirely. Vinyl chuckled awkwardly and stepped closer. “Hey, come on. Stop joking with us. You’ve at least heard of the Mario Kart games before… right?” Sweetie thought about it. “I think that I’ve seen the commercial for it before. Maybe.” There was a beat of silence as everypony simply stared at the filly. Slowly, Lyra walked over until she stood over the foal with an unreadable expression. She leaned down until she was eye level. After a few seconds she smiled, “Then you need to kill yours--*SLAM* Lyra’s face found itself driven into the ground before she could complete her sentence. “Lyra!” Octavia reprimanded. “Don’t you ever say that to a foal!” Lyra struggled to nod under Octavia’s hoof. Octavia continued to glare at her for a few seconds before turning to Sweetie with a kind smile. The small filly had instinctively curled into a ball from Lyra’s outburst. Octavia pushed Lyra out of the way and leaned down in her spot. “Sweetie, it’s alright. Lyra’s an idiot, don’t listen to her,” she said in the gentlest voice she could. “I-is it really that bad that I don’t know about Mareo Kart?” stammered Sweetie. “It’s Mario,” corrected Octavia. “And no. We were just surprised, that’s all. Mario Kart games are some of the most widely recognized Mario games in the world. I thought that everypony knew of them. Not to mention it was the very first level of this competition.” Dash flew over and sat a leg over Twilight’s shoulder. “Yeah. I mean, even this egghead knows who Mario is.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “All I know is that he’s some kind of mushroom-eating plumber pony that likes to jump.” Over on the ground, Lyra raised a hoof. Her words were pained and whispered, “He’s also got a kickass mustache.” Sweetie stood back up with a sad expression. “Oh… I’m sorry. I mean, I know about the one in the tutorial. I just didn't know it was also a racing game.” “No. No,” Octavia urged, bringing Sweetie in for a hug. Don’t apologize. This is a good thing. Now we can all show you how fun these games are!” ~~~ “Hello, and welcome to the official stream of Mario Kart 8!” Princess Luna announced into her microphone. Looking toward the audience, she sat in a large dark blue booth that hovered above the track. “I am Princess Luna, and I will be your announcer and commentator for today’s race. Next to me, for the play by play recap is my faithful assistant and secretary, Mr. Spirit Shift. How are you doing this fine morning?” Next to Luna sat a young azure blue pegasus stallion with light red eyes and blue mane. He wore black goggles on his forehead and his cutie mark consisted of three question marks that shared the same point. Spirit turned to face the princess with an excited smile. “I’m doing great! Thanks. Finally managed to get to sleep like I asked, I see,” he snarked. Luna gestured to herself with a proud hoof. “Spirit, I am the Princess of the Night. It is my sworn duty to protect our ponies during otherwise normal sleeping hours.” “Do those duties include staying up 24 hours to design and create custom carts for each of your contestants?” “Do not sass your Princess!” Luna yelled, blushing slightly. Spirit chuckled and turned towards the start of the track. “Speaking of which, it seems that our racers are checking out what you made for them. Guys, how do you like your carts?” he yelled. There was a chorus of cheers and thank yous for Luna, who in return blushed even harder at the praise. Spirit nodded in satisfaction. “Let’s see. For fellow Princess, Twilight Sparkle, we have a lavender-colored Badwagon decked out with custom cutie mark decals and coupled with off-road tires and a rainbow-colored parachute.” Spirit turned to Luna with a sly smirk. “You don’t expect her to stay on the track, do you Princess?” “Well, from what I have gathered, Twilight Sparkle isn’t very proficient in these types of games. I hope that the off-track wheels and traction will assist her somewhat.” Twilight yelled up to the two commentators. “Thank you, Princess Luna. I love it!” “Alright then!” continued Spirit. “For Element of Laughter, Pinkie Pie we have the kitty cruiser.” He chuckled. “Or should I call it the gummy cruiser. Looks like Princess Luna artistically took the normally pink, cat-styled, cart and recolored it green with the idea of Pinkie’s pet crocodile in mind. With three balloons as its parachute, it’s clear that this cart was clearly made just for Pinkie.” Even from the height that Spirit and the Princess were at, they still had to cover their ears from Pinkie screams of delight. Luna chucked herself as the screaming finally died down. “Indeed. I hoped that she would enjoy it. For young Rainbow Dash, I choose the streamlined sports bike with rainbow-colored fire decals. I will admit that hers took the most time to get just right. But it was also the one I had the most fun painting.” “Awwwww yeah!” Rainbow cheered. “Now this is the cart for me! It’s easily 20-- no! 40% cooler than the rest of these carts.” Spirit rolled his eyes playfully and glanced over to the gray pony who made the same expression, though in a less playful fashion. “It looks like Octavia thinks otherwise. For her, we have a stone grey Circuit Special cart coupled with slick black wheels and a flat, dark pink glider. Obviously, it was made with the idea of preferring practicality and speed over appearance.” “Exactly,” nodded Luna. “After examining Octavia’s style, I have determined that she would not be one to fret over what her cart looks like, but rather how it drives. In that sense I have selected all different parts with good stats.” Down on the field Octavia examined her cart and nodded in satisfaction. Luna pointed down to Lyra. “It seems that our resident cheater has found her cart. For Lyra Heartstrings, I had a slightly difficult time in selecting a suitable vehicle. In the end, I selected the cart that most represented her as a pony. I picked the standard ATV and recolored it mint green to match her coat, as well as added lyre decals on the sides. I also set it so that all of her stats are averaged out so that it matches her specialty. I am sorry if it does not meet your expectations.” Lyra turned around and saluted. “Ma’am, no ma’am! This filly loves her cart, ma’am!” Spirit returned the salute with equal enthusiasm. “Excellent! At ease, racer. Prepare your cart!” Lyra nodded and turned back to what she was doing. “Vinyl Scratch I suspect was pretty easy. A white-and-blue flame rider with big wheel tires. Nice!” Down below, Vinyl was already on her motorcycle, revving the engine with a huge grin on her face. Somehow, she had traded in her usual purple-tinted shades for swagalicious goggles of the same color. Luna nodded. “It was the only clear choice. Now, for young Sweetie Belle, I attempted to choose a cart that would compensate for her lack of experience. Therefore, I focused on handling and traction in hopes that she would pass others who spin out rather than by sheer speed. In that sense I choose the rather peculiar combination of the Mr. Scooty bike and cushion tires. While not the fastest cart there it is, she’ll easily be able to pass those who accidentally go off-road. Sweetie circled her small bike, staring at each and every part with wide eyes of foalish wonder. “It’s so cute! I love it!” Spirit chuckled warmly and glanced down at the chart in front of him. “And finally we have our NPCs. That’s ‘non-player characters’, for you non-gamers out there. In addition to our seven pony racers, we have 5 other racers.” “Hold on, Spirit,” interjected Luna. “Technically, we only have four other NPC racers.” Spirit turned a confused look Luna’s way. “What? Is there somepony else?” Gasping loudly, his confused look became one of foalish excitement and glee. “Is it me? Please, please say that it’s me?” Luna chuckled and rubbed the top of the stallion’s head playfully. “Do not be silly, I need you up here with me. No. Today we have a guest racer who has assisted me in the recreation of this game. He should be number 12 on your list.” Pouting, Spirit reluctantly looked back down to his list of racers. “MLZFan2130? I guess he’s using a username?” “Of course,” answered Luna. She turned and looked back down to the track. By this point, most of the racers had begun lining up the starting line in typical racing fashion. Those closest to the inner curve of the track sat further back, while those closer to the outer curve sat closer to the start. Since there were twelve racers, they were arranged in two rows of six, with all of the pony racers aside from Lyra sitting in the front row. Since she cheated in the last round, Lyra volunteered to sit in the second row after promising not to cheat in this race. Next to her sat a blue-green pegasus with a light green-and-red mane. Unlike the contestants, he was able to choose his own cart and decided to go with a bike similar to Rainbow Dash’s, but with an entirely green coloration and the words MLZFan2130 blazed across the side. Other racers in the second row included classic Mario characters such as Luigi, the tall light green earth stallion in the green hat, Princess Peach, the small peach colored alicorn, Toad, the small mushroom-headed colt, and Mario himself, the pudgy red stallion with the red hat. Revving her engines, Rainbow Dash gave Octavia a cocky look through her helmet. “Are you ready to taste my dust, Tavi?” Octavia glared back at her through her own helmet. “Don’t call me Tavi, and I certainly won’t be inclined to taste anything of yours, Rainbow Dash.” Lyra yelled at them from behind. “Don’t think I’m outta the game just because I’m back here! I’ll still lick both of your asses!” “Whatever!” yelled Vinyl. “All three of you are going down! Whooooo! Live to ride!” Vinyl revved her engine repeatedly. “Let me know what the inside of my tailpipe looks like!” “Well, technically, we’ll be going left first,” Twilight corrected, Then by the looks of it, there’s a straightaway and…” she trailed off when she turned to find everypony looking at her funny. “What?” Pinkie giggled from her spot, closest to the inner curve. “I think what she means is...” Pinkie growled fiercely, somehow bearing sharp teeth in the process, “BRING IT ON!” Sweetie Belle looked around nervously. “Um, yeah!” “Excellent!” Luna cheered. “It seems that our racers are all getting ‘revved up’, as it were. Now, before we begin, Spirit, would you like to explain the rules?” Still slightly upset about not being in the race himself, Spirit turned sluggishly towards the camera and put on a small smile. Even if he wasn’t down on the track like he would’ve preferred, he still loved being able to have a position of importance. “Sure. Anyway, as some of you know, with 12 racers this is the Grand Prix. In Grand Prix mode, twelve players compete for first place in cups of four-to-five races. However, we've decided to only hold one of them and award the first three places.” Spirit raised an eyebrow at something on his sheet, and turned to Luna. “Um, Princess, what if MLZFan wins? He’s not an NPC, but he’s not a player either.” “An excellent question, my faithful assistant. You see, if MLZFan were to win, he would be removing a spot on the podium. What I mean is that there are three sets of points to be given as awards in this challenge. First place receives 7000 points. Second place will receive 5000 and third place will receive 3000. However, if MLZFan were to take a spot, this would mean that one of our players will not, thus the points will be lost. Do you understand?” Spirit nodded. “Oh. I get it. I guess we shouldn't let him take first place, then.” “Exactly.” Luna turned back down to her players. “Now before we begin, are there any questions?” “I have one, dear Lulu.” Spirit and Luna turned to see that a third seat had appeared next to them, complete with microphone and Draconequus. “Surely you didn’t expect me to sit this one out,” he whimpered, hurt. Spirit inched closer to the Princess and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “I thought you had him distracted.” Luna leaned back with a near-panicked expression. “I did! I even set off several pranks on Celestia to keep his attention.” “Excuse me, you two! I do have ears!” Discord picked up the ears that he had slid over to their side. Sticking them back on, he turned and gestured to the entire course with supreme excitement and glee. “And please, I can smell the chaos of competition anywhere. And a race, no less. Why, the amount of sheer competitive disarray in the starting moments would be enough to fracture my stone prison!” Discord took a deep breath. “Yes, I do think that I’ll be staying, thank you very much.” Luna glared at him for a time before responding. “Alright then. But promise me that you will not tamper with the course or interrupt the race in any way, shape, or form.” Discord poofed on a sash with an array of badges. “Scout’s honor!” “Make him Pinkie Promise!” All three beings turned around to see Pinkie glaring up at them from her spot on the track. “Do it!” Spirit shrugged and turned back to Discord. “You heard her. At least then we could trust you.” “Oh, poo.” Discord slumped forward and tossed off his sash as he did the motions halfheartedly. “I was never an honest scout anyway,” he muttered, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye or whatever.” He ended with an actual cupcake that he stuck in his mouth of an eye. “Great!” Spirit nodded, “Now I think that our viewers and racers have waited long enough! Princess, would you like to do the honors?” “Gladly!” Luna stood up tall and cleared her throat. “I hereby announce the start of the first of four glorious races. All racers, prepare yourselves!” As she spoke, she held up a black-and-white checkered flag in her magic. Discord snapped his talon, and the flag turned a bright shade of red. Vinyl adjusted her glasses and revved her engine. Twilight sat her book on competitive racing strategies down and gripped her steering wheel. Octavia stared straight ahead with laser-like vision. Sweetie looked around nervously and shrank into her seat. “Get set!” The flag changed into a bright shade of yellow. Rainbow grinned and pulled out her signature black shades and stuck them over her helmet. Realizing she was now virtually blind, she frowned and removed them. Pinkie grinned and pressed the horn a few times; instead of a horn, two small cupcakes popped out of the front of her vehicle and flew into Pinkie’s mouth. Lyra, meanwhile, imagined herself using a keyblade and hoped that somepony had thought up a Kingdom Hearts challenge. Sucks for her, because they haven’t. “GO!”