//------------------------------// // Words For The Juice God! // Story: Elliot The Crazy // by FoxWithAMask //------------------------------// It was a warm, sunny morning in Equestria, the birds were chirping and- "AT LAST!!!" I screamed, throwing my arms around the wall. "ELLIOT!!!" Twily screamed. "STOP TOUCHING MY WALLS!!!" I giggled, bouncing around the library. "I'm back, I'm back, I'm back! Yay!" I dived onto the kitchen table, throwing everything off it. "I can't believe I've been gone for so long!" I sobbed. "Where have you been, Foxy?! I was so alone! Was...was I not good enough for you? Why was Blood and Rocket so much more important? Was I not a fun boy?" I cried, tears pouring down my face into my potted penis. I blinked and picked it up. "Why do I have a penis in a pot? Happy birthday, Twily!" I cried, throwing it at her face. "It's not my birthday, you UTTER MORON!!! WHY DON'T YOU GO-" She cried in utter joy before the potted penis hovered in the air just in front of her, popped out of the pot, slapped her across the face and disappeared into the void. "What just...you can't just...you...YOU!!!" She suddenly deflated and collapsed onto the floor. "That's it. I give up." I tipped a bucket over her. "That's my pee." She screeched and dashed to the bathroom. I chuckled. "It's not really, guys. I mean, I did that to Blueballs already." I smiled. "WHY IS IT SO STICKY?!" Twily screamed. "That's because it's Spike's pee." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Later on, after Twily calmed down from her shower. I was seeing how long I could follow her before she got mad when there was a knock on the door. "Elliot, make yourself useful for once and answer that." Twily growled. "Yes, mistress, shall I get the bondage gear as well?" Twily lit up her horn in MAGIC light. "Now." I held my hands up in surrender. "You're a big meanie." I walked over to the door as the knocking grew faster. "Hey, Foxy, are we ever going to meet? Just wondering, you know." Opening the door I came face to face with a red, pirate, fox animatronic. It opened it's mouth to screech when I threw a pie in its face and slammed the door. "I think I was talking to the wrong Foxy." I opened the door again and a wild Fluttershy appeared! "Um...Mr Elliot?" "Just Elliot. They called me Mr Elliot back at the nuthouse. I do not like that name, it is nooooot my favourite!" I giggled. "Um...Okay. E-Elliot, um, I just wanted to thank you for, um, for helping to find out about what happened to Spot." With that she wrapped her hooves around me. ...A hug? I...haven't been hugged like this, with such care, in...years. "Thank you." I whispered, hugging her back. I squeezed her in my arms slightly. Squee! ...Was that...squee? A grin shot across my face. Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! "Elliot." Twily groaned. Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! "Elliot!" Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! Squee! "ELLIOT!!!" Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee!Squee! "ELLIOT!!!" Twily yelled. I looked up. "Potato salad?" She blinked. "No, I...what?! Just...you can...just...stop hugging Fluttershy." "Nnno!" "Elliot." "No! You! Are a Pingas!" She stared at me for a second before throwing her hooves up in frustration. "FINE! You know what?! Just ignore me and do whatever you want!" "'K." Twily screamed in frustration before portportporting out of there. "Wow. She needs to lighten up. I hear long extensive fights against invading alien forces are good for that!" Twily portportported back. "No! You know what?! YOU GO!!!" She then proceeded to kindly blast me through the window and across town. I skidded to a stop by Applejack's stall. "Hi, Orange Apple Horse!" I greeted from the ground. "Nope!" She greeted before kicking me up into the sky. I landed on a soft fluffy cloud by Rainbow. "Hi, Dashie!" I giggled. "Oh, buck no!" She cried in joy, kicking me back down to earth. I crashed through the doors of Sugarcube Corner and came to a stop in front of Pinkie. "Hi, Pinks!" I greeted happily. She picked me up and hugged me. "Hi, Elliot!" I stared at her. She stared back. I stared at her. She stared back. I stared at her. She stared back. I stared at her. She a fake moustache. I stared at her. She stared back. I stared at her. She stared back. I had a pink fake moustache. She narrowed her eyes, "You win this round. MarkiElliot." "That would explain my earlier encounter with Foxy." I mused. I stared at her. She stared back. I stared at her. She stared back. "Cannon?" I asked. "Why do you think I've been holding this thing for so long?" She asked, indicating to the Party Cannon she was holding. I jumped in and farted, setting off the fuse. I was sent flying across town once again. I crashed into Twily's home. Through her window. The opposite one I'd gone through earlier. "NO!!!" She screamed in joy before blasting me across town. Gets blasted into Derpy's house. "You know..." I whispered seductively. "You were really rough last night." She smirked and sauntered over. "Oh, you know you liked it." I bit my bottom lip, "I know. But...how did you get so good?" "Well, babe," She slung her foreleg across my weak, fragile form. "I've had lots of practice." "Oh! You're so amazing!" I simpered. She smiled at me, "But...I am quite bored right now." I nibbled on her ear. "I can think of something we can do." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I collected £200 as I passed go. I love Monopoly! "I thought you meant something else!" Derpy pouted adorably. I blinked, "Like what?" "Snakes and Ladders!" She grinned. "Not after last night!" I complained. Just as I bought the last Train Station the front door opened and a cute, grey Unicorn filly walked in while pouting adorably. "Dinky!" Derpy cried, flipping the board across the room as she wrapped Small Grey up in a hug. "Someone's broken in!" I squealed. "Don't hurt me! All the cookies and muffins are in the kitchen! Take them and go!" She just glared at me. "Mother, who is this buffoon and why is he here?" Derpy blushed, "Um...Dinky...this is my..." She trailed off and looked over to me. "Coltfriend?" "Boyfriend?" "Coltfriend." "Yay! I have a boyfriend!" Little Grey's eye twitched. Derpy turned back to Small Grey. "This is my coltfriend. He's a..." She looked over at me again. "Human?" "Human." I nodded. "Human called Elliot." She continued to Tiny Grey. "You...you're okay with that, aren't you, Dinky?" She gave a small smile, "Of course I am, mother. As long as you're happy I can put up with anything." She looked over to me again. "Although, I have heard things about this...Human. But I would rather see for myself than take idle hearsay as fact." Derpy giggled, "Thank you, sweetheart." She turned to me. "Elliot? This is Dinky, my daughter." "Hiya!" I chuckled. "Want pie? I have a cake!" I pulled out a chocolate cake. Small Dinks sighed, "No. Thank you, but I am not hungry right now." I shrugged and put the chocolate cake back in Pocket Dimension #42047502. "How was your day, Dinky?" Derpy asked. Miniscule Dinks sighed, "School was easy as always. I finished early, so I decided to do a little scientific work and I have made yet another breakthrough in Quantum Mechanics and Subspace Travel but, of course, they have been rejected from the scientific community once again because I am but a child with no scientific degrees as of yet." I blinked. "She talks funny!" I giggled. Little Dinks groaned and wandered off. I gave Derpy a questioning look but she just shrugged. "She does that." She sighed. "Oh, well, since the Monopoly board is all over the room..." She trailed off as she saw that the board, all the pieces, cards and money were all back to how they were before they got flipped. I gave her a grin. "Oh, cookies." She groaned.