"I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light." - Helen Keller
Twilight tried to sleep for about three hours that morning. The sleep was certainly desired, her body clearly needed sleep, but she couldn't find it. The mare just couldn't feel at peace. All she wanted to do was get back up and study. So she eventually resigned herself to a night without rest, throwing off her covers and going back downstairs.
Soarin' had fallen asleep in his chair. He had said that he would stand guard until somepony relieved him, but Twilight told him to not bother. She was glad he'd listened to her. Spike was still sleeping in the main library as well. He had moved from the book to the floor, but otherwise had not strayed from where he'd fallen asleep. Slowly moving so as not to wake either of the boys, the mare made her way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
The first glass of water did ease her parched throat, but it did little to ease her mind. Nothing she had learned the night before helped that. There didn't seem to be any information about how to become an alicorn. Very little was written about time spells. Yet worst of all, none of books explained why this was happening. She had read some of the greatest works ever written on time magic, from Star Swirl to Stallion Hawking. Everything she read suggested that the timeline she found here was not possible. Even taking into account the possibility of a "butterfly effect," the magnitude of this change could not be accounted for.
She had changed Spike's life only a couple of months before receiving the alicorn spell from Celestia. A decision of that significance could not be undone in such a short amount of time. Surely Celestia had been planning to give Twilight the spell for years. Certainly it would have been considered from the day Twilight and her friends began to bear the Elements. Perhaps it was even planned from the day she sent Twilight to Ponyville. Even if Twilight had fallen far behind on her magical studies, the momentum behind Celestia's decision to give her the spell could not have been delayed this much. To remove one event a matter of weeks beforehand could not unravel her future.
Yet it had happened. So Twilight had examined every possible trail of events leading from Spike's rescue. During the last hour or so of study this was all she worked on. And while attempting to sleep, it was this line of reasoning that kept her up. She was certain that if she discovered why saving Spike changed Celestia's mind so dramatically it would allow her to uncover what was needed to become an alicorn. Or at the very least might convince Luna to try her spell.
After drinking three full glasses of water, Twilight wiped her mouth and looked out the window. The sun was well into the sky now. Ponyville appeared as tranquil and inviting as always. Daisy was tending to flowers in front of her house. Wensley was pulling a cart of apples through town. She could just hear the bell in the schoolyard ringing to signal the start or end of recess. So little of all of this had changed.
Perhaps Twilight was overestimating the importance of her ascension.
Was my becoming a Princess that important? After all, Twilight had done little to nothing differently since her coronation. Celestia had not assigned her to any important diplomatic duties. Nor had she overseen any functions yet. The only one on the calendar was the Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange in a few months. That was hardly a noteworthy service to Equestria.
But surely Celestia's death was substantial. The Princess had reigned in Equestria for centuries. Most ponies would wonder how they could ever survive without their Princess. Then again, what are months compared to a millenium? Perhaps it was egocentrism that led Twilight's calculations to assume her changes were significant. Celestia was her personal mentor. And obviously Twilight had been greatly impacted by her own ascension. But the rest of the world? The sun still rose and fell. Earth ponies still tended the land. Fillies and colts still went to school.
That's all we are: A straw in the haystack. A fleck of dust in the wind. While Twilight's cutie mark may have been a cluster of stars, she was hardly a spec of light in the night sky canvas of the universe.
She thought of her teacher. What would Celestia say to her now? If she had written to Celestia about this problem, what would the Princess have come back with?
And the words came to her: "Press on and press through."
Twilight hung her head. How could she press through into this future? How could she live with herself knowing she had cost Equestria everything? That couldn't be right. Celestia wouldn't say that to her. She said it to Star Swirl, Twilight reminded herself. That was because Star Swirl had lost somepony. And Twilight was in the same place. She had lost somepony. She wanted to use magic to bring this somepony back.
Was this what actually happened to Star Swirl? Had he become an alicorn successfully, only to destroy himself with this spell? Was history repeating itself?
Two things happened simultaneously that broke Twilight from her thoughts. A loud belch and a knock at the front door both coming from the other room. Walking into the room, she found Spike rubbing an eye with a claw. "That's not how you wanna wake up in the morning," he said, groggily. In his other claw, he held a scroll.
"What is it, Spike?" Twilight asked as she moved to the door.
"I- fro- the Pri-ess," his words were partially obscured by a yawn. He held up the scroll so Twilight could see the silver seal bearing a stylized L. It was rare for Twilight to receive a message from Luna directly. At least, it was in the timeline she remembered.
Twilight nodded absentmindedly as she opened the door. Luna probably was telling her to-- Before Twilight could even turn her head to see who was there, she found herself being tackled to the floor. The pony on the other side had jumped her at the first possible second. Twilight let out a scream that was quickly muffled by some sort of woven material in her mouth. She attempted to push whoever it was off, but found that her forelegs were being pressed tightly against her sides.
How could her life possibly be getting this bad? Whoever heard of a pony losing her mentor, her aliconship, and being kidnapped all in a matter of days?
"What's going on?" Twilight heard Soarin' say from the other side of the room. Thank Celestia he woke up!
"We came over to see Twilight," said the familiar voice of Fluttershy from the doorway. "But I think Pinkie got a tiny bit carried away with her 'hello.'"
It took a moment for Twilight's brain to register what she heard. Once she understood, her eyes turned to the pink pony on top of her. Pinkie Pie was tightly hugging Twilight with all her might. "I'm just soooooooo happy to see you, Twilight."
Twilight spit Pinkie's mane out of her mouth. "I'm happy to see you too, Pinkie," she said, weakly. Of course it's Pinkie. Why would anypony want to kidnap me? I'm not even a princess anymore.
"Um, Pinkie," said Fluttershy, who had walked over to the pair of mares on the floor. "Maybe you should let Twilight stand up so that I can say 'hi' to her."
"Okie dokie!" Pinkie released Twilight from her bear hug and the unicorn took a deep involuntary breath. The earth pony then pulled Twilight up to her hooves and then proceeded to hug Twilight again, but this time without knocking her to the ground.
"Oh, um..." Fluttershy awkwardly looked around Pinkie to Twilight. "Hi, Twilight."
"Hi, Fluttershy." Twilight fought to get the words out. It was as if her lungs were constantly having the air squeezed out of them. Twilight wished that wasn't literally the case. Twilight attempted to move back from Pinkie, but the earth pony simply shuffled along with her. "Pinkie," she gasped. "Perhaps you should let Fluttershy give me a hug now?"
"Sure!" Pinkie moved one of her arms from behind Twilight and pulled Fluttershy into their hug. The pegasus gave an "eep!" as she was roped into the embrace.
"Pinkie," said Soarin', walking over to the group. "How long are you going to be hugging Twilight like that?"
"About 7 more minutes," said Pinkie, frankly.
Soarin' laughed. "Well, once you're done crushing her lungs, Twilight has something important to tell you."
Pinkie gasped. "Oh boy, I can't wait! Well, except for this hug to finish. I can always wait for a hug to finish!"
"Can I get you two anything from the kitchen?" Spike asked. "Tea? Water?"
"Some tea... would be... lovely," wheezed Fluttershy, her voice now also strained from Pinkie's tight hug.
"I'm good!" declared Pinkie. "At least for the next 6 minutes, 27 seconds."
<><><>
By the time Spike had returned with a tea kettle and some cups, Pinkie had let Twilight go and was sitting next to Twilight in eager anticipation. Fluttershy gave a light smile as Spike handed her a cup and poured some tea.
"Thanks, Spike."
"My pleas--" the rest of the word or phrase was obscured by a large yawn.
"Oh dear," said Fluttershy. "You seem exhausted!"
"He and I were up late last night helping Twilight," Soarin' explained. "I was actually wondering if I could go back to sleep myself. Not that I don't enjoy living on two hours of sleep."
"Of course," said Twilight. "And Spike should go with you."
"But don't you want me here to help explain things?" Spike asked.
"Spike, you need your sleep," Twilight explained.
"She's right," said Fluttershy. "You two should both go straight to bed. And we'll make sure to be quiet for you."
Spike raised a claw to protest, but when another yawn came from his mouth instead of an objection, he put the claw down. "Alright, I'll go to bed. But let me know what happens when I wake up, okay?"
"I will, Spike," Twilight promised.
"Wait!" shouted Pinkie. She bounced over to Spike and Soarin', pulling them into another hug.
"It's good to see you too, Pinkie," said Spike with a smile.
"Yeah, but I don't know if we should hold you guys up for another seven minutes," said Soarin'.
"Hmmmm..." Pinkie thought about this for a moment. "Okay." She let the two go. "But the next time I see you, you owe me a 6 minute, 38 second hug, plus interest!"
Soarin' laughed. "We'll even throw in a couple extra seconds for you."
"How much interest?" asked Spike.
"Spike." Twilight didn't want the dragon to dawdle, and she wanted to get talking to her friends over with.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm goin' to bed..." the baby dragon and Pegasus made their way across the room and up the stairs.
Before reaching the top, Soarin' asked, "Would it be okay if I used your bed, Twilight?"
The unicorn nodded and Soarin' thanked her.
Once Spike and Soarin' were out of sight, Twilight sighed and prepared to tell two more ponies about what she had done. Yet when she looked at Pinkie's beaming face and Fluttershy's calm smile Twilight lost all will to talk. How could she take away her friends' smiles like that? How could she admit to causing such pain and chaos?
I just need to be alone. Besides, what can my friends think of that I haven't already read about? Twilight just couldn't take it. "It was nice seeing you both, but you girls should probably get going."
"But didn't Soarin' say that you needed to tell us something?" asked Fluttershy.
"That doesn't matter. It's not important."
"But doesn't it matter to you?" asked Pinkie.
Twilight sighed. "Sure, I guess, but why do you guys even care?"
"Even if it's something that only matters to you just a teeny-tiny bit," declared Pinkie. "And it doesn't matter to anypony else in the whole universe, we care enough to hear it." Fluttershy gave a light nod.
They might care enough to hear about something from somepony that matters, but clearly the universe doesn't think I'm that important. Why should my friends be any different? Twilight shook her head and just said it. "No. I meant 'Why do you guys even care about me?'"
Fluttershy was mortified. "Twilight! You're our friend!" Pinkie nodded vigorously, her smile had changed to a look of shock.
"That's nice of you to say, but I think you have more important things to care about." All I wanted to do was help. All I wanted was to do nice things for my friends. I don't even deserve friends. Twilight's horn started to glow and she closed her eyes, preparing to teleport herself away. Where? She didn't care. Canterlot. Everfree. A cell in Tartarus. What difference did it make? Before she finished the spell, however, she felt a hoof fall on her shoulder. Twilight opened her eyes and saw Applejack standing beside her. Her horn dulled.
"Sorry I'm late," the mare said. "Pinkie told me y'all came into town and said I needed to get over here lickety-split. What's goin' on?"
"Twilight thinks we don't love her anymore!" shouted Pinkie, bounding forward and throwing her forelegs around Twilight in yet another hug.
Shaking her head in frustration, Twilight felt tears starting to brim. She could hardly believe that she still wanted to cry after how much sobbing she'd done yesterday.
"Hold yer horses, Pink," said AJ as she pulled the earth pony off of Twilight. "I'm sure Twilight knows we love her. She's just upset is all." Applejack turned to Twilight. "What's got ya down, Sugarcube?"
Twilight wanted to yell and scream and complain about her circumstances. She wanted to teleport far away where she didn't need to think about her problems anymore. This was now going to be the third time she had explained her predicament to Applejack. That last straw of a thought is what Twilight grabbed for when she started talking. "I've already told you twice," she admitted. "I told you three days ago and the day after that."
"Ah, darlin'," AJ said, slowly. "Not that I don't trust ya, but I don't recall seein' ya at all since Rainbow Dash's Birth-a-versary party a few weeks ago."
Upon hearing this, Twilight's ears perked up. "Rainbow's party? You came?"
Applejack was taken-aback. "Well 'a course I came. Why wouldn't I?"
"Well," said Pinkie. "Maybe it's because you haven't come to any of my parties except for that one in the last one hundred eight six days, ten hours, and fourty-six minutes?"
AJ sighed. "I told ya, I've been busy. I found time to come here today, didn't I? I can't just stop workin' every time you decide to throw one 'a your random shindigs."
"Random shindigs?" Pinkie scoffed. "I'll have you know that the Cake Twins' first birthday was totally a bonanza, and the party for Miss Cheerilee's 12th year as Ponyville's teacher was a regular old hootenanny!"
"Argh, I've already told you about my schedule. Besides, I don't even know the Cakes that well, and as for--"
"Stop!" Fluttershy yelled, landing between the two earth ponies. "Now is not the time for you two to fight about parties or schedules. We're here for Twilight!"
The pair looked to Fluttershy, then to Twilight, and finally to the floor. "Sorry, Fluttershy," they said together.
Fluttershy nodded, and then turned over to Twilight. "So, weren't you going to tell us what's wrong?"
All three friends were looking at Twilight. The unicorn attempted to judge their expressions. Applejack was showing clear concern. Pinkie was intently interested. And Fluttershy was sincerely sympathetic. This was genuine care. They aren't listening to me because they think they have to, they're doing it because they want to know if I'm alright. She just wished that she was actually alright.
And while she had little hope that her friends could help her, Twilight could certainly use the support of a few more friends. Trying to carry the burden of this crisis was obviously wearing on her. She just hoped that her friends would still care about her after they learned all the horrible things that her meddling had done.
<><><>
"So, do you girls have any questions for me?" When Twilight finished her story this time, she felt it was appropriate to field questions. She had never revealed this to three ponies simultaneously, and she was sure that each of the trio had their own thoughts on the matter.
"Makes perfect sense to me." Pinkie nodded.
Fluttershy shook her head. "I don't know that I understood everything perfectly, but I think you did a really good job of explaining it."
Applejack, of course, was the most vocal about her confusion. "Alright, Sugarcube. Let's just make sure I got the basics down. So you're saying that nothin' that's been happenin' these past few months was supposed ta be happenin' at all?"
"Well," Twilight amended. "At least the big things, like you having a huge farm, Rainbow joining the Wonderbolts, and Celestia--" Again, that stopped her. She could deal with some of the unintended side effects of her magic. This was not a side-effect that she was willing to accept.
"Oh! That's right, you just found out about that yesterday..." Fluttershy said.
"How are y'all holdin' up?" asked Applejack.
Of course, Twilight's natural instinct was to say "It's okay" but, she couldn't bring herself to say that either. Things were not okay at the moment. She tried to collect herself to explain her emotions. It was hard for her to focus. Her mind was still racing with thoughts, but her body was begging for sleep.
It was during Twilight's contemplation that Rarity and Rainbow Dash entered the library. Pinkie let out a huge gasp and bounded toward the two mares.
"One moment, dear," said Rarity, holding up a hoof. Pinkie stopped in mid-air several inches from Rarity's hoof. "Before we get to our hugs. I need to have a word with Twilight."
"Does Rainbow Dash need to have a word with Twilight?" Pinkie asked, still floating.
"Uh, not really, but--" Before Dash could say another word, Pinkie had surrounded her in a tight embrace. Rainbow groaned. "Do we have to do this every time I come into Ponyville?"
"I told you," said Pinkie. "It's one minute of hugging for every three days I don't see you. Besides, who doesn't love long hugs with friends?"
As for Rarity, she swiftly moved to Twilight and cleared her throat. "And as for you dear..." The fashionista quickly approached Twilight until the two were muzzle to muzzle. "How dare you run out on your friends like that?! Rainbow Dash and I were worried sick. We looked all over Canterlot trying to find you, and we had no idea where you were or what had happened to you. It took us three hours to loop back around to the castle, only to discover that the lot of you had run off to those dirty old ruins without us. I understand that you've been under a lot of stress lately, what with your whole life falling apart, but could you at least show enough common courtesy to leave a note?!"
Twilight looked at the ground. She had known that sneaking off was wrong and that she should have trusted her friends more. Yet before she could explain herself, she found another set of hooves being thrown around her. This time, however, a sleek purple mane was being pressed into her face.
"I was just so worried about you," Rarity said. "After all we've been through these last few months, I don't know what I would do if something happened to you." The white unicorn pulled back slightly. "Just promise me that you won't do this to me again."
Once more, Twilight was surprised by the response of her friends. Rarity had every right to be angry with her. She would be justified in doing anything up-to-and-including putting Twilight under a pseudo-house-arrest for being a flight risk. Yet instead, all Rarity cared about was that Twilight was okay. Looking at her friend, Twilight said, with all earnestness, "I promise, Rarity." And the two hugged for another moment before parting.
"Remember, that hug doesn't count toward your total, Rarity," said Pinkie, who was still holding on to Dash.
Rainbow Dash was hugging Pinkie back, but was not totally focused on the matter. Instead, she was looking around the room. At that point, she chose to ask, "Where's Soarin'?"
"Oh, he's upstairs asleep in Twilight's bed." said Pinkie, matter-of-factly.
Dash raised an eyebrow. "Why is he in Twilight's bed?"
"Well, Twilight hardly let him get any sleep last night," Pinkie explained.
Rainbow nodded slowly, then looked over to Twilight. "And what exactly were he and Twilight doing all night? In her room?"
"We were studying, downstairs, here in the library," Twilight assured her friend. "I wasn't able to sleep, so I let Soarin' use the bed." At the thought of sleep, Twilight yawned.
"Have you told these three why you two needed to be studying all night long?" Rarity asked.
Twilight nodded. "I actually just got done telling them before you came in."
"Okay, Rarity's turn!" shouted Pinkie Pie, flying across the room to give Rarity a hug.
With a couple of yawns, Twilight finished. "I was just... seeing if they had... any questions."
"I might have a few, but right now," said Applejack, walking over to Twilight. "Y'all need some rest." Nods and "mmhmms" rose from the rest of her friends.
"You guys just got here," Twilight objected. "Rarity and Rainbow came all the way from Canterlot, and you--"
"We'll all be here when ya wake up," AJ declared. "Promise." The rest of the mares again gave gentle affirmations.
It was certainly true that Twilight needed sleep; a part of her wanted to just fall asleep right there on the floor. Yet another part of Twilight felt guilty at the thought of sleeping when she hadn't figured out how to set the world right. It was the same nagging part that had kept her awake all night long reading book after book. "I can't sleep now. With your help, maybe we can work out a counter-spell or some sort of--"
Again, Twilight was cut off. This time by Rarity. "Twilight, surely you can't work out this without sleep. You've been through such a dreadful ordeal. Just the idea of all this makes me tired!"
"I can't even imagine waking up and finding out that my whole world had changed!" Fluttershy shuddered at the thought.
While there was logic in what the fashionista was saying, Twilight still wasn't convinced. So she worked out another excuse. "But I gave my bed to Soarin', so I don't even have anyplace to sleep."
"Way ahead of you!" Pinkie Pie bounced over to a bookshelf on the far wall and pulled down a large book. Opening it, she revealed that it had been cut into to make a hidden compartment. She pulled out something made of rubber or plastic from the inside. Taking a deep breath, she then blew into a tube on one end and the object quickly inflated into a bed. "I have inflatable beds stashed all over Ponyville. In case of bed emergencies. Or for floating on a lake, but I always make sure to dry this one out before I put it back in the fake book."
Rainbow Dash shook her head, then looked back to Twilight. "Twilight, you gotta go to bed. If I've learned anything from being a Wonderbolt, it's that you need sleep. Practicing until four in the morning only makes you bomb at your next performance. Trust me."
Twilight looked away sheepishly. "Well, I guess I could really use some sleep."
"And you shall have it!" Rarity lifted over the inflatable bed and set it on the floor next to Twilight.
Nodding, Twilight lowered herself onto the bed. It felt a bit like sleeping on Rainbow Dash's cloud floor, but made more squeaks when she moved.
"We'll be hard at work on finding a spell to fix all this," Rainbow Dash said with a salute. "Don't worry."
In all honesty, Twilight did find that she was less worried. Her circumstances hadn't changed one iota yet, but she knew that her friends cared about her. Knowing that they cared was what she really needed in order to finally get some sleep. And, within only a few minutes on the noisy emergency bed, Twilight was sound asleep.