Lightning Dust flapped her wings, gaining speed as she pushed herself further away from Ponyville. From Derpy.
She clenched her jaw, fighting away the tears that were threatening to spill over. Never in her entire life had she felt this way, so betrayed, and hurt. Not to mention it was only a drop in a bucket compared to what Derpy must be feeling right now.
Celestia, the look on her face… Lightning shut it out. She couldn’t think about that. She wouldn’t think about that.
It was just too painful to think about. Derpy’s expression had been one of pure sadness. Her eyes welled up with tears, the corners of her mouth pointed further down than what should naturally be possible, and every feature wrinkled and contorted to express her pain, and knowing she had been part of the cause for it felt like...
Dammit, I’m thinking about it!
Lightning pushed the thought down, along with all the rest that wanted to surface.
Her ascent slowed when she caught sight of several clouds not far away. She landed on the nearest one, hooves sinking into the cotton candy-like surface. Lightning stood there for a moment, breathing in and out. Her flight had been so fast that it took a little out of her, and she needed time to recover, especially considering it had happened so shortly after her last speed flight. For a while all she did was breath, and the only change being that she eventually sat down.
Everything was a jumbled mess in her mind, but one thing really stuck out. For whatever reason, Lightning couldn’t seem to shake off one thing Derpy had said.
“You told me how isolated you were growing up, maybe you’re gay and just didn’t realize it.”
Lightning laughed uncomfortably. “That’s stupid,” she said aloud. “...just stupid.”
...Right?
“Gah!” Lightning pounded the cloud with exasperation.
The jumbled mess of memories slowly started to make sense as Lightning calmed down. Everything flashed across her eyes, passing by just as swiftly as it had occurred. Derpy’s confession. The race to her home. Dinky’s freakout. Rider’s lie unraveling.
Rider! Lightning’s jaw clenched. He did this! If it wasn’t for him, Derpy never would’ve fallen in… never would’ve liked me as more than a friend. Everything would’ve been fine, and normal, and not confusing!
“Hey! Lightning!”
She whirled her head around. Not fifty yards away, already looking winded, was the pale yellow figure of Rider. And he was coming right at her.
“Leave me alone!” Lightning growled. She turned, ready to fly away.
“Wait! Just talk to me, please.”
Lightning paused. She didn’t know exactly why, but she slowly folded her wings and waited. Maybe it was the sheer desperation in Rider’s voice, or the fact that she really really wanted to punch him again, or maybe she just didn’t have it in her to keep flying away.
It took Rider a few seconds, but he landed on the other edge of Lightning’s cloud. “Thanks for not flying away again.”
Lightning curled her hoof and swung, making contact with his shoulder. “Buck you, man.”
Rider winced, and rubbed his collarbone. “Ouch…”
For good measure, Lightning hit him again. “What the hell is wrong with you anyway? Why would you lie to me and Derpy? Why would you let her think I’m gay? And don’t give me that same bullshit excuse you gave her.”
He cringed. “Look… it’s a really long story…”
Lightning sighed. A small part of her actually did want to hear Rider out and try to understand his intentions, but the rest of her was impatient and still dealing with everything Derpy had said.
Eventually, she relented. “Fine, but let’s go to a bar or something. After today, I really need a drink.”
“Sounds good.”
Turner was too distracted to play checkers. That was probably why Dinky had just wiped the floors with him for the eighth time, even though she was barely trying herself. She was just holding back tears as they both heard muffled sobs from upstairs.
He’d been trying his best to keep Dinky’s spirits up, but nothing was working. It had only been an hour, but he could already tell a lot of bad memories were being drudged up for her. Lightning and Rider subsequently leaving did not exactly improve the mood either.
What am I even doing? Turner thought. I couldn’t cheer her up the first time, and I’m sure as hell not going to be able to do it now. He glanced up at the ceiling to the source of Derpy’s crying, then back to Dinky.
“Hey, Dinks,” he said. Her slightly swollen eyes looked at him. “Why don’t you run into the kitchen and grab a muffin.”
She sniffled. “Okay.” Rubbing her eyes, she stood up and ambled out of sight.
Turner got up himself, moving to the stairs. He climbed them two at a time, and went straight for Derpy’s room when he made it to the top. The muffled sobs barely gained any volume as he got closer, and they stopped altogether when he knocked on the door.
“Derpy? It’s me. Can we talk?”
“...No, I… I can’t.”
He sighed, and tried the door knob. Unsurprisingly it didn’t budge. “Come on, please?” He asked.
“...Just go away.”
Time groaned. “Derpy, if you don’t unlock this door and have a talk with me, then I will kick it down.”
No response.
“Fine, you leave me no choice.”
Time turned, and positioned his hind legs directly in front of the door. Tensing his muscles, he lifted both legs. They hung in the air for a moment, before he slammed them back. They made contact with the rigid wood of the door, sending a vibration that ran up his legs and shook his whole body in a bad way. He cringed, pulling his legs away.
“Ah, shit! Bad idea, bad idea!” He toppled backwards, landing on his rear end. Laying there for a moment, Time let his legs recover, all the while not hearing a single word from Derpy. Before too long he was able to stand again. “Okay, I’ve decided not to kick the door down. But still, will you at least talk to me?”
“Why should I?” Derpy sniffled.
“Because it might cheer you up?” Time offered. “Besides, you can’t just keep wallowing in… uh… whatever it is ponies wallow in. You have to come out of your room eventually; Dinky needs you.”
“...”
“Derpy.”
“...”
Time sighed. “Fine. Be this way. Shut everypony out again. Shut Dinky out again. Pity yourself for something you couldn’t control, if that’s really what you want. Just know that when you need us, we’ll be here for you.” He turned, preparing to head downstairs.
Before he even made it to the first step, he paused. His ears flicked as the sound of hooves hitting carpet reached them. A moment later, the locked clicked that the door crawled open.
“Okay…” Derpy mumbled. “Let’s talk.”
He smiled.
We swooped low, landing on the soft ground of downtown Cloudsdale. Lightning gave a look around, her narrowed eyelids suggesting that she’d never been here before.
“This isn’t the Lickety Split,” she observed, confirming my theory.
“Yeah… I called there the other day and we are so banned.”
She smirked, but not at me. “What, because of one little fight?”
I snorted. “Little?”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Medium-sized.”
I relented and we walked into the bar. The smell hit me first. A pungent concoction of booze, body odor, and raging hormones. Ironically, this was the same combination of smells I usually caught a whiff of after a one-night stand, which really made me doubt the sanitation of this place. Luckily the lights were dimmed down enough so that I could not see any potential health code violations romping in the booths. I could hear them though, and the mixture of dying manatee moans and labored breathing worthy of a marathon runner painted enough vivid images in my head.
Celestia, straight bars are weird.
We walk in, not exactly turning heads as we walk up to order. Grabbing a stool for each of us, I sat down, pounded the table, and demanded two shots of cider.
“So start talking,” Lightning said as the tiny glasses slid our way. “Why the buck did you do what you did?”
“All right, all right. You deserve to know.” I sipped the cider, letting it sting my throat with apples. “So, you know how it starts. I convinced you to flirt with Derpy, she decided to wrestle your tongue, and then passed out before you could show your disgust.”
“My mouth and I recall.” Lightning downs the cider in one gulp.
“So next Wednesday rolled around, and Derpy showed up in a dress that’s basically designed to get her eye-groped. Right away, I knew something was up. When I asked her, she told me how much she liked you.”
“It started all the way back then?” Lightning asked softly.
“Save all questions until the end of the back story,” I demanded. She grumbled. “So anyway, I was all set to tell her you’re straight and I looked in her eyes, and I just… froze up. They were so filled with hope that you would return, giddiness to just talk to you… and I end up saying you weren’t looking for a relationship right then.”
“So you lied.”
“It was a half-truth,” I defended. She pinched her lips and raised an eyebrow. “A quarter-truth,” I amended. “Besides, I figured she’d take a hint when you arrived and showed zero interest in her. But instead, by some friggin’ stroke of misfortune, neither of you were able to figure it out.”
“And you just let her keep believing I was gay.” Another pair of shot glasses slid down the bar, booth commandeered by Lightning.
Gulp.
“Yes,” I admitted. “But in my very pitiful defense, I had no idea we’d become drinking buddies, and then Derpy invited us to a picnic, we met Time, I realized Derpy’s crush was only growing and… Gah!” I stopped myself from prattling.
Lightning downs another shot. “So you bucked up, refused to tell anypony, and screwed our friendship over in the process…” She didn’t sound too angry, but she was probably just digesting it at the moment.
I opened my mouth to reply, but felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw a young mare with a green and pink mane giving me a sultry look. “Hey there--”
Considering I was one-hundred and ten percent not in the mood for this, I shut her down quickly. “I suck cock.”
She blinked. “Uh…” She blinked again.
“Buh-bye,” I told her, making a shooing motion with my hoof.
Disgruntled, she shuffled away. I turned back to Lightning, who just finished her third shot. “Subtle, dude.” she said, indicating the mare.
“I try.”
“Where was that subtlety when Derpy thought I was gay?”
I sighed. “Far, far away. Look, Lightning, I can’t apologize enough--”
She grunted. “You got that right.”
“--but I still want to find a way to make this up to you. To both of you. I just wish I knew how.”
Lightning groaned. “You broke Derpy’s heart, wrecked all of our friendships, and pretty much ruined the Wonderbolts Academy for me. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to fix this.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Ruined the Academy? How’d I manage to do that?”
Lightning slammed a hoof on the table. “You think I can just go to the Academy now and forget about all of this? It doesn’t matter if I live my dream or not; I’ll always have Derpy’s broken heart hanging over my head.” She sighed, glancing at the floor. “And I don’t want that.”
“So what? You aren’t going to the Academy anymore?”
“I didn’t say that… but… I just don’t know.” Lightning pressed her head to the table. “I don’t know what to think right now…”
Me neither…
“Everything’s just getting so confusing.”
My eyebrow arched. “Confusing as in...”
Blood suddenly rushed to her cheeks. “You don’t need to know.”
We sat in silence for a moment. I couldn’t seem to think of anything to say, and Lightning seemed done talking to me. I didn’t blame her either; I didn’t want to talk to me. A few more shots slide our way, but neither of us are exactly grappling for them.
About a minute or so later, a dark stallion with a slicked back green mane slid into the stool by Lightning. He’s got a pretty smug, alcohol-fueled grin on his face, and a drunken sway in his walk. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t see my “abort mission” face as he opened his mouth.
“Well hello little lady,” he said. I smacked my forehead. “What’s got you so sad?”
Lightning’s head slowly lifted off the table, and she looked at the stallion with narrowed eyes. “Buck off, dipshit.”
I started to laugh, but caught myself. The stallion bit the inside of his cheek, and for a moment I feared the possibility of another fight breaking out. Instead, he swallowed his pride, and ambled away, looking a little downtrodden.
“Harsh,” I noted.
Lightning turned to me. “I’m not exactly in the mood to be hit on. Besides, it wasn’t like he was attractive or anything.”
I looked past her to the stallion’s rear end. “You kidding? He’s pretty good looking.” Though he’s no Time Turner.
Lightning rolled her eyes with a snort. “Please, that mare you turned down was at least twice as hot as him.” She picks up another shot.
I blinked, slightly confused at the wording. Scratch that, really confused. Since when does Lightning ever make comments like that? I know she’s not drunk, which only adds to my confusion. Maybe she’s just trying to have a conversation? Considering how pissed she was, the answer was no. So what could it be?
After some thought, one possibility stood out in my mind. Well, less of a possibility and more of a very, very thin hope.
Before I could inquire about it, Lightning stood up. “Well, I’m done here.” She set a few bits on the counter, and by the looks of it there were more than she needed.
“Are you paying for my cider?” I asked, hoping this meant something good.
“Yes. I owe you money, remember?” I nodded, recalling the few times I’d bailed her out before. “Well, now we’re even. Which is good, cause I don’t ever want to see you again.” She turned, heading for the exit.
Oh shit. I got up quickly. I couldn’t let Lightning walk out like this. Aside from losing a friend, I didn’t want to risk Lightning getting away before I could explore the possibility of that thin hope being something more.
As I burst out of the doors, I spotted her about to take off. “Wait up a sec!”
By some miracle, she paused and looked back. “What?”
“Uh…” Come on, think fast! It isn’t my strong suit, but I managed to get an idea. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?”
Her wings tucked in slightly. “No… I uh… doubt Derpy’s willing to let me stay at her place tonight... but I can always stay at a motel.”
“You brought enough money to book a room?”
She scowled. “No.”
I knew she wasn’t exactly excited to go back to Derpy’s place to get her money or anything else. “You wanna bunk at my place?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “I have a guest room,” I assured her.
Her head swayed slightly as she internally weighed her options. Finally she gave a sigh. “Fine.”
I did a victory dance in my head. “Come on, my place is this way.” I unfurled my wings and took off into the air. Lightning followed shortly after.
I knew I had to work fast figuring this out. Once morning came, there was a very real possibility I would never see Lightning again. I had one shot, and had to make it count.
Derpy sat on the living room sofa, her daughter curled up in her lap, both forelegs wrapped around her torso. Turner sat in the chair opposite of the coffee table, giving her time to calm down some before they started talking. Though she wouldn’t admit it, Derpy was prolonging her sniffling state as long as possible. She really didn’t want to talk right now, especially about Lightning Dust, but Time wouldn’t take no for an answer, and there was no way Dinky was going to let go of her anytime soon.
She was more numb than sad right now. It was taking her a while to come to terms with Rider’s deception and her sudden outburst. She didn’t regret getting furious with him of course, but yelling at Lightning was probably the worst thing she could have done in that situation.
Any chance I might’ve had with her is gone now. For sure. She blinked back tears.
Taking notice of this, Time cleared his throat. “Ready to talk?”
After a pause, she nodded. “I guess.” Dinky nuzzled her stomach.
“All right. So… are you going to be okay?”
Derpy stroked her daughter’s mane. “I don’t know.”
The two forelegs around her body tensed as Dinky shook. “Please…” she choked out a sob. “Please don’t let it be like last time. Please don’t disappear again, Mommy.”
Her heart pulsed. “Oh Dinky… I promise you I’m not going anywhere.”
Dinky sniffled. “Really?”
“Absolutely.” She nuzzled her daughter.
“So you’re sticking around then?” Turner asked.
Derpy tried to force a smile, but her lips stayed etched in a straight line. “I’ll try. I just… wish everything had gone differently.”
“Derpy…”
Too late, tears already welled up in her eyes. “I… I might’ve been able to handle it if she had put me down gently… but to know I was doomed from the start…”
Turner got up, walked over, and took the seat on the couch next to her. “I’m sorry, Derpy. I really am.”
“It’s okay,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault.” For a moment, she thought she felt him stiffen, but let it pass. “I just wish I hadn’t told her I never wanted to see her again.”
“Well… Rider did fly off to talk with her,” Turner remembered. “He might be able to convince her to come back here and try talking to you again.”
“Rider… that doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.”
Turner forced a laugh. “Me neither… but who knows, he might pull it off."
Even in her numb sadness, Derpy choked out a laugh with him.
"Maybe..."
We flew side by side, though Lightning kept her head directed away from me for most of it. So far I had awkwardly blinked, flapped, and kept my mouth shut. Dozens of homes in the suburban outskirts of Cloudsdale whipped by below us as we drew closer to my own.
My mind had been picking at a question for a while now, but I was finalizing the details of how to ask it before I actually opened my mouth.
It was incredibly ridiculous, and I knew it. I was basing a hunch about Lightning entirely off of one comment at a bar. But if it was right…
As we swooped down in front of my house, I found I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Are you sure you’re not gay?”
Every muscle in her body stiffened at once, momentarily removing her ability to fly. She swayed, and nearly tumbled into the ground. Luckily she loosened her body in time to avoid what would have been a harmless crash.
Her head whirled around to face me, eyes narrowed, mouth tight. Immediately I regretted opening my big mouth.
“No. No, I’m not gay.” She shook her head. “Geeze, first Derpy and now you.”
“In Derpy’s defense, I never told her.” I reach for my keys.
“No, even after she knew she still tried to convince me that I might not be straight just because I was so isolated growing up.”
The lock on my open clicked open and I pushed the door in. “Well, you were, weren’t you?”
She grunted. “I don’t feel like talking about my childhood.”
“Humor me,” I demanded.
Seeing that I was standing between her and her only place to sleep tonight, she relented. “I was. It was me, my mom, my dad, and a shit load of training.”
“So you could be gay and just not know? I didn’t discover I was gay until college, and I had way more social interaction than you.”
“I’m not gay!” she exclaimed. “What the hell even set this off? Are you that desperate to fix things that you’re going to try and make me question my sexuality?”
I paused. Am I? Is all this just a mistake? Am I only pushing her further away? Whether I was or wasn’t, I had little to lose at this point. “What about what you said at the bar? You called that mare hot.”
She angrily flailed her hooves. “I was… humoring you. Besides, have you never noticed girls before?”
“Nope. My eyes grope dudes, and dudes alone. And a hermaphrodite. Once. A long time ago.” We were getting off topic. “Point is, I don’t.”
“Well… fine, whatever.” She pushed me aside, storming into my house. I pursued.
“So you’re saying you’ve never once looked at a girl that way. Not that mare at the bar, not Derpy, not anypony?”
“Just drop it!” Lightning stomped her hooves. If my carpets hadn’t been made of clouds they would have made a very angry noise just then. “I’m done talking about this.”
“Why? Why are you so insistent that you’re not gay?”
“Because… I’m not! I know I’m not!” She gritted her teeth.
I wasn’t finished yet. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because I thought you were hot, okay?” I blinked, frozen for a moment. She took a deep breath. “Look, the night we met, at the bar… I… I thought you were kinda cute.” The words were lost in a mumble, but she quickly spoke up again. “So I know I’m not gay. I can’t be gay if I looked at you of all ponies that way. And I’ve looked at other guys, too! So I know I’m not… and nothing I’ve done so far changes that. Not kissing Derpy, not cuddling with her, nothing.”
I was still slightly frozen, but I heard it all. Lightning slunk away slightly, her bottom lip curled into her mouth.
“You want to know what I think?” I asked.
She laughed sardonically. “You don’t think. You’ve demonstrated that pretty well over the last few weeks.”
I waved a dismissive hoof. “Regardless, I have a thought. I think you’re confused.”
She blinked, her eyebrows lowering. “What?”
“So you’ve grown up pretty sheltered all your life, and assumed you were straight because of it.”
“I am straight!”
I held up a hoof. “And because you’ve found yourself attracted to guys before, you think that confirms it.”
“It does!” She stamped her hoof on the floor.
“But, then entered Derpy. A mare. A mare who kissed you. A mare you grew close to. A mare that made you think about things you didn’t want to because it was confusing.”
“What are you saying?” Lightning asked.
“You like Derpy.”
Lightning gritted her teeth. “No… not like that… I’m… not like that…” Her pupils shrank with confusion.
I got another idea all of a sudden. “Can I ask you a few questions?”
Her tiny pupils darted to me. “What?”
“Can I ask you a few questions?” I enunciated.
She narrowed her eyes. “I… guess?”
“What’s your name?”
She blinked. “Lightning Dust. Why--”
I pressed on. “What’s your favorite color?”
She gave me a funny look. “...Blue.”
“Where were you born?”
“Cloudsdale.” Her voice drips with boredom, and I can tell she thinks this is pointless.
“How many siblings do you have?”
“None.”
She was answering instinctively now. It was time for the moment of truth question. “Who’s hotter, Soarin’ or Spitfire?”
“Spitfire,” she said with no hesitation. I wait a moment, and her eyes suddenly exploded with realization. “W-wait a sec.”
I grinned. Clearly a bad move, as it makes her uncomfortable enough to back up into a wall.
“N-no, I thought… I thought you meant who’s hotter career-wise.”
“You weren’t thinking, Lightning,” I told her. “And you knew what I meant.”
“B-but I’m not gay!” she shouts. “I’m not! How could… why did I…” She slid to the floor, her hooves to her head.
I sat down next to her. “Hey, calm down. It’s all right, Dusty.”
“This doesn’t make any sense!” She bit her lip so hard it drew blood. “I’m not gay.”
“You aren’t,” I assured her. I’m now thoroughly confident in my theory. “You’re bisexual.”
“What?” She looked at me.
“Bisexual. You can like both stallions and mares. Time Turner’s the same way.”
“S-so this is normal? This makes sense?” I nodded, and she calmed down some. “I… I’m bisexual.” She tested the word out, feeling out it rolled off the tongue. “I’m bisexual…”
“Or at the very least, bi-curious.” I lightly punch her shoulder. “But this is good, right? You’re not too wigged out or anything?”
“No… I guess not. I just… never knew this was a thing. Which means…”
“You’ve been freaking out over nothing?”
She nodded. We sat in silence for a long time as she digested everything. “What… what should I do now?”
I glance over in the other room to see the clock I keep on my kitchen wall. “Probably sleep, it’s kinda late.”
She hit me. “No, dumbass… I meant about Derpy.”
“Oh yeah…” I pause. “Well, that time you two kissed… did you like it?”
“Dunno…” she said. “It’s all fuzzy. I was drunk, so I don’t really…”
“Okay… well you said you cuddled with her, right?” I asked, remembering what she said earlier. She nodded. “Did you like that?”
“...Kinda. She was so soft… and warm.”
I tapped my hoof. “When you think of her, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?”
“Her eyes.”
I furrowed my eyebrows. “That’s a little… uncool.”
She hit me again. “No, not her wall-eye. I mean her eyes. They’re always so cheery, and happy, and… bright…”
We paused for a moment.
“Huh…”
She continued. “And, her mane is always messy, but it’s like… perfectly messy, you know?”
“Sure.” Cause that makes sense.
“And when she smiles… it’s like… everything’s going to be all right. And when she’s sad.” She swallowed. “When I made her sad… it was like my heart hurt.” Lightning looked at me. “Does that mean I like her?”
I smiled, knowing what this meant. “I’d say so.”
For a moment, I expected joy to shoot out of her. Instead she gets a crushed look on her face. “Oh Celestia, she hates me!”
“Whoa, no she doesn’t,” I said. Putting a hoof around her.
“But she said--”
“That was her residual anger at me. If there’s anypony she hates, it’s me, not you.” I patted her shoulder. “Come on now, we need to sleep.”
“But Derpy…”
“Is probably already dreaming. We can wait to surprise her tomorrow with this good news.” I stood up, my leg muscles whimpering with sleepiness. I extended a hoof for Lightning and she took it. “Guest room is upstairs, first door on your right.”
She nodded, unfurling her wings and taking off. A second later she landed on the top step, and disappeared. A moment later, her head poked over the fluffy, white banister. “Oh, hey Rider.”
“Yeah?”
She smiled. “Thanks.” And then she disappeared once again.