//------------------------------// // First // Story: Memoirs of a Reality Jumper Q & A // by Techogre //------------------------------// Welcome to the first when-ever-I-feel-like-it-or-you-ask-for-it Memoirs of a Reality Jumper character Q&A side story! First, I would like to introduce our characters who will be answering questions tonight: (Alex) Ugh, do we really have to do this? I have important stuff to do. (Rainbow Dash) Awe ya! All my fans get to pick the awesome mind of me, Rainbow Dash! (Applejack) Shucks, I’m just happy to satisfy y'alls curiosity. (Big Macintosh) ... (Golden Coins) I’m only here because Princess Luna herself asked me to do this. (Scootaloo) Is this cool or what! (Applebloom) Maybe we’ll get our fanfic cutie marks! (Sweetie Belle) I really like Meeester’s mane. (Doctor Whooves) This is brilliant! Oh, I can’t wait to do this. Allons-y! (Lyra Heartstrings) Anytime I can spend time with Alex, is just fine by me. (Spike) Sup? (Queen Chrysalis, from her magical prison on the sun) I was told this stupid stunt would take one hundred years off my sentence. (Princess Luna) It pleases me to answer the supplications from our followers. (Princess Celestia) I’m very happy to answer any questions our readers would have. And now, for the questions! MyLittleBurger The plot thickens to the point of oatmeal? (Big Mac) Eeyup. Daracke [this is for Alex] If you're a 'paladin of redemption' (if I'm right) Then shouldn't you have some sweet-ass Night armor to go with it? (Alex) Yes, I’m a Paladin of Redemption. Luna hasn’t assigned me a portfolio yet, but I suspect it will have something to do with humility or apologizing or learning not to drink too much. As for the armour, I’ve been thinking about that and I have an idea. With permission from Princess Luna, I was thinking of going to the Royal Armouries with Elusive and working with the royal armourers and enchanters to build a suit of armour for me. Maybe they can copy some of the enchantments on my knife for the armour. Make it sweet, like Iron Man armour, but magical. Tony Stark, eat your heart out. Meeester To Alex: Do you have a plan yet for how you will fund the town hall reconstruction? Also, what pleasantry from your original home 60 years ago did you take for granted that you no longer have in Equestria, such as air conditioning, 2-ply TP, etc.? (Alex) I’m hoping that an endorsement from Princess Luna and maybe even Princess Celestia will go a long way to drawing attention. My being a human will draw a little extra attention, but being a new sentient race isn’t as much of a novelty as you would think. When you consider there are at least seven sentient races of all body shapes just in Ponyville, being a shaved monkey isn’t much of anything, so I’m not counting on that much. Rarity said she would put in the good word with her society friends, especially Fancy Pants, so I should be able to draw investors from the upper crust that matters. Not only that, but I’ll be putting most of my remaining cash into it as well. Aside from a little nest egg for myself, a little something for Scootaloo, and buying out the cottage, my remaining fortune will be going into this project. I’ll also be talking to the town council in a few weeks to see if anyone there is interested in investing. Finally, I’ll be offering micro-investments for the regular folks in Ponyville. A hundred bits buys one share and a small return on investment. Part of me misses a big, thick juicy steak, but when you’ve talked with a cow and chatted about the weather, you sort of lose your appetite. I guess the other thing I miss is the sound of traffic. I know it sounds crazy, but I miss that rumble of machines going by the house. I even miss the occasional fire truck siren. It’s been about forty-five or fifty years since I’ve lived in a place that was as heavily industrialized as your own. KMCA For Scootaloo: How do you feel about Alex? I've noticed you behaving almost possessively of him and how would you feel about him adopting you as his child? (Note: this question does not include the assumption that Rainbow Dash will become her adoptive mother in the process) (Scootaloo) He, he’s not going to read this, is he? No? Okay. I like Alex. I mean, the first time I meet him he was saving my flank from Coins, but that’s not the important reason. Most grownups treat me differently because I’m an orphan, but not Alex. He treats me like a grownup, not a kid. I would really like to have him as a dad, but I can’t see that happening. I can only be adopted by a couple, and unless he marries Rainbow Dash, and I don’t think she’s the getting married type, it’s not going to happen. (Scootaloo's downcast eyes moisten for a moment, she wipes them, and looks back up at you) But, there’s always hope, right? For Coins: How does it feel to have some inferior holding your life in his hands and then not long after extending an olive branch of friendship for you? And are you going to take it or burn it like the unpleasant rug? (Coins sneers, slowly shakes his head, and sighs, he doesn’t even look at you) As loath as I am to admit it, he has given me much to think about. Even before his justified apology, I was thinking about the value of, things, in my life versus the ponies in my life. After all, Princess Luna, in Her infinite wisdom, made him one of Her personal champions. He must have some positive characteristics, although I obviously lack the wisdom to see them. As for friendship, that is difficult to say. The habits of a lifetime are difficult to change, even if (he paused) even when one has begun to suspect they were mistaken. With the grace of the Princesses, friendship may be an option in the future, but for now, peace will have to do. For Applejack: Are you ever going to try dating Elusive? Or are you nervous? Shoot, I don’t know. Mah heart’s still kind of beat up, but he does seem like a mighty nice guy. And if he’s Alex’s friend, he’s probably a class act. (Applejack puts her hoof to her chin thoughtfully) Maybe I might just give him a spin. You know, give it the old Apple family try. And to answer your second question, I’m a little nervous, for Elusive's sake. Mac might not approve, but I’ll worry about that later. I mean, what could go wrong? For Luna: We've seen what you've said to Alex, but what goes into deciding who a "Paladin of Redemption" is? The criteria are simple. If I see within the heart of an individual the ability or potential to exemplify one of the aspects of redemption and I feel they are able to perform the duties I will offer them the solemn duty. Alex exemplifies or will exemplify with some guidance, the aspect of Humility. I have candidates for Nobility, Dignity, Forgiveness, Tolerance, and Patience. Some I will contact directly and some I will contact through Alex. Allow me to explain why each is paramount to redemption. Humility. One must first be humble before achieving the other ideals of redemption. Dignity. If you have respect for yourself, you can learn to respect others. Nobility. Like a good noble, one must place others before yourself. Forgiveness. Forgiveness of yourself and others is the key to achieving true redemption. Tolerance. Accepting others, not blindly, but with humility, dignity, nobility, patience and forgiveness Patience. Having patience for yourself and others gives you the strength and wisdom to understand the other aspects of redemption. All these things I have learned with the aid of my sister in my own redemption. I wish to give this very gift to those who have the same need as I had. For Celestia: Why haven't you been more involved. Have you decided that Luna should be the one responsible for everything related to Alex, or are you just watching from behind the scenes? My sister wanted her own champions, in much the same way I have the Elements of Harmony. When Alex first came to our attention, we found him to be an interesting curiosity. Once I determined he was not a threat to Equestria, I suggested him as the first of her champions to my dear sister. As an outsider with good intentions, he would bring a unique perspective to her endeavours. At first, she was reluctant, but after a little observation, and after saving the child, she saw the wisdom of my words. And Lastly for Spike: Who's better at sending messages? You with the green flame or Alex with his magic scroll? Why, my dragon flame can beat any contraption for sending express scrolls. I’ve looked over Twilight’s shoulder and I thought it was just a fancy book. I don’t get what the big deal is. Big Mac: you jelly? Oh, do you mean like that one odd pony in town that buys vats of grape and apple jelly each year and dips himself in them? Then nope. shira To the ponies: Has anyone but Lyra figured out just how awesome hands are? (Twilight) While there are advantages to fingers, for example, Alex and Spike have greater manual dexterity, the fingers must wrap around the object to grasp it. As we all know when a pony picks up an object, it simply sticks to the bottom of the hoof, and if a firmer grip is required, it is grasped by the wrist. There is also- (Lyra) Oh, I disagree Twilight. Ever since I’ve been secretly stalking... I mean, observing... I mean, noticing Alex, those strange, soft yet firm hands have been fascinating to me. I suspect the gained flexibility more than makes up for the lack of a sticky hoof. (Twilight) Lyra! You know the court order. 100m from Alex. Now, get out of here. (Lyra) Eeep! DiscordsAdvocate For Alex: You're making a lot of plans and contacts to build your theatre, but have you planned on getting donors to fund it all? I’ve already talked about the hook, now here’s the bait. There will be no donations, I mean, this is a business deal, right? So, it doesn’t matter how small you give, you’ll get a benefit. It’s a 3% return, starting a year after construction is complete, which for this world is a great rate of return. I plan on only paying myself a small salary and saving or investing the rest. I’ll even do something with Cheerilee to give the kids a stake in the theater, something like a 10 bit certificate. I want the kids to feel invested in the theatre, to really be interested in being part of it. That will hopefully draw parents to invest too. For Dash: Are you okay with the fact Alex can't fly as you are okay with Tank being unable to fly without aid from magical gadgets? I’m cool with that. I mean, it’s not like he’ll ever come up to my place, right? Anyway, I don’t mind going down to the ground for him, it’s where most of my other friends are so it won’t be that different from before. (Dash grows thoughtful) I wonder if I can get Twilight to cast that cloud walker spell. I could bring him to meet my parents in Cloudsdale. I only ever did that with, well, never mind. None of your business anyway. But, ya, it could be fun. For Coins: If Equestria was founded on unity between the three types of ponies, and you praise it every day (like you did in front of Alex), why get so emotionally worked up about pegasi and unicorns being present in your universe? If we expand on the illogicality, Luna and Celestia are Alicorns, the best of both worlds. Is your praise derived from fear (for they well know your contempt, you don't exactly hide it) or well-deserved reverence? You obviously fail to understand the nature of my personal grievances with the unicorn and pegasus races. It is actually a simple matter that even a dim-witted simian such as yourself will understand. It is a matter of propriety and knowing one’s place. Cloudsdale is for the pegasus ponies. Canterlot is for unicorn ponies. And closest to my heart, Ponyville is for earth ponies. Each in their own place. There have been a growing number of unicorns and pegasi, as well as donkeys, and other non-earth ponies, including a singular human, making permanent homes in my beloved Ponyville. At any rate, they are always welcome to visit, to work here for us, and, if completely unavoidable, stay temporarily. However, at the end of the day, they should go back to where they belong. As for your statements about the Princess, you once again fail to understand. By bearing the burden of all three types of ponies, they only show their love for us. They stay combined as one, so we can stay unique. See, clear and simple. For Twilight: You’re doing a lot of research on the humans, so what topics are you really getting into and how would the knowledge be used to help others in Equestria? Well, thanks to Alex’s unique biology alone has advanced medical science by five years. His body is much more complex and fragile than ours. When he was hurt, the skills I, Zecora, and the doctors had to develop to treat him were much more intense and complex than a pony would require. With this knowledge, there have already been lives saved. I was interested in human political systems for a while, but it was such a chaotic mess. I looked into the technology humans are so good at, and while I understand some of it, it simply does not come naturally to me. I did some studies of human societies, but it’s so varied I could spend a lifetime trying to understand them. So, I went back to biology. I hope this will continue learning his more complex system to benefit all of pony kind. For Luna: Could even Discord be redeemed? Perhaps. The unredeemable Nightmare Moon was, so perhaps Discord as well. I mean, he wasn’t always evil. Mischievous, perhaps, but not evil. All three of us were such good friends before the bad times... For Whooves: Any plans to contribute to an Equestrian space program? It’s bad enough they now have access to one of those frustratingly unpredictable humans, now you want me to thrust them into space three hundred years early? Are you mad? No, no you’re not, are you? You really want to condemn them early and take their innocence away. Well, that will not happen, I’ll make sure of that. For Queen Chrysalis: Why haven't you shown up in this fanfic yet? Who says I have not? ‘Chapter 5 - A trip to the market’, I was the third background pony to the left. This was after my defeat but before my capture. Of course, I was rebuilding my empire, taking advantage of every resource. The real threat was the pony two places behind me. warpd Why hasn't Dash let Alex ride her? That would be fun with the twists, turns, and all the fun tricks. (Alex) Whoa there. Don’t you think that’s a little personal? (Dash hits Alex) You dork, he means flying. No, are you bucking nuts? If I mess up, he would get killed! Anyway, he’s heavy and I’d fly like a brick. Besides, I like where Alex was going, flying isn't the only way to share fun tricks. If Alex has the internet, can he look up his own story on fimfiction? (Alex) How do you think I’m answering these questions? The author is just one in a series of sock puppet accounts I created from Equestria. (Techogre) No I’m not. Stop messing with the readers. (Alex) Quiet sock! (Techogre) Yes sir! Compony Alex: Tell us more about your past realities! - Do you believe RD actually has something for Trixie? How would you react? Let me answer those in order. You read about my first jump to the nazi world. Every jump after that brought me to a world with more and more unrealistic differences, like superheroes, super science, magic, etc. When I started hitting the magic worlds, things turned more medieval and weirder every time, until I landed here. I don’t know if Dash has something for Trixie. I’m headed to Canterlot soon to see if she’ll take the job offer. I might get Dash to come with me and Twilight. If she comes and starts hitting on Trixie- OUCH! (Dash hits Alex then glares at him) I don’t think that will be a problem. Dash: Who were your past 'special friends'? I don’t remember a lot of them, they were mostly one-night stands. But I guess my most important special friend before Alex was Gilda. I even brought her to meet my parents. That didn’t go well. Anyway, that’s all in the past, Alex is my future now. (Dash’s expression is thoughtful and a little annoyed) She still sends me letters once in a while, but I already told her it was over. taz2723 For Alex Question 1: If during the entire time you have been jumping between realities you had absolutely no way to contact your family, how do you think you would have reacted? Without the anchor Ann and the kids provided, I would have been much more selfish, much more savage. I know I still have a great capacity for brutality inside me that’s kept in check by Ann and now Dash. In short, I would have reacted badly. Question 2: How many more earth-like realities have you been transported to, and following that what one was the most similar to our own? There were about eight more worlds that were close to mine (e.g. no magic, no superpowers, no elves, etc.). Let's see now, there was the nazi world, there was the world where the English lost the battle of the Plains of Abraham in Quebec, making French the dominant language in North America (the English dubbed MLP was funny). There was the world where penicillin was discovered thirty years earlier by Ernest Duchesne, saving countless lives, but extending the first world war by five years due to the associated medical advances. There was no nazi germany, just a footnote as a minor right-wing party. Great medical care in that world. There was the one where there had been a limited nuclear exchange over the Cuban missile crisis. Glad I wasn’t there long. There was a weird one where all international disputes were settled by gladiatorial combat and everyone dressed like Elvis. There was the one where the Renaissance never happened. Smelly world there. There was the one that still had a Roman Empire and everyone spoke Latin. They assumed I was a Gaul on a visit from Europe. Oh, and there was also the fun one where gender roles were reversed. I guess I was a bit of a hottie because construction workers whistled at me when I walked by. So, that was the normal worlds. After that, things got really strange. Question 3: How does it feel to have heightened senses past that of a pony's? It’s both useful and frustrating. Handy for hearing, seeing, or otherwise sensing threats. Frustrating because even if everyone is having, to them, a hushed and whispered conversation, it still sounds like everyone is speaking normally. Heck, when I’m in a crowd of ponies talking normally, it’s like everyone is yelling in my ears. It’s also hard to ignore some random passerby. You’re brain locks on to every conversation around you. I sometimes wish I had a brook or river beside the house, just for the blessed white noise it would generate. For Rainbow Question 1: Even knowing that you and Alex can't have children if your relationship ever gets to the point that you want a foal of your own do you plan on adopting or having a surrogate father? I always thought we might adopt. I mean, Scoots is a great kid, but I have to be married. I know he denies it, but I’m afraid Alex may not think of me as a proper mom or even wife material. I know my past doesn’t make it look like I would be, but I know I can be both. That comment by Lauren Faust about me not being much of a big sister kind of hurt. Made me doubt myself, you know. But if Alex believes in me, maybe I can too. Maybe I can be a mom for Scoots. As far as a surrogate dad? I can’t see Alex being too excited at the idea of my being bedded by some other stallion. He’s got a big heart, but I think even he has his limits. Question 2: How do you feel about Alex being an omnivore? It’s part of who he is and I love the whole package (Dash shrugs) Anyway, he’s never eaten any meat around me. In fact, as far as I know, he hasn’t eaten any since he arrived in Equestria. The only thing I’ve noticed is he does eat more eggs and cheese than a pony would, and he has a problem with hay. Well, this concludes our first Memoirs Q&A. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed answering your questions. Good night, and good dreams! - Dan G.