//------------------------------// // Side Battle: Who Sings Better? // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Please make sure that your "Formatting" is set to "Dark", not "Light". Thank you. A/N: No, the title isn't a serious question. Anyway, here's a little disclaimer. The following was written for entertainment purposes only. The opinions expressed by any of the characters do not necessarily reflect those of the author or anyone else. Reader discretion is advised. Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, various contracts, and a multitude of fan artists. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 3 E Side 13 It's been a long time, F and N. How have you been? That was certainly... interesting, getting hugged by myself. Well, while you were busy being cute, I got burned and ripped open! But... you don't look like you've been ripped open. ... I got better. Well, enough about us. It's time to introduce today's combatants. And it's another music-related conflict? Seriously, how many singers are going to be on this show? I don't know. I kind of like them. Yeah, I guess I do too. Let's see... *shuffles a few papers around* In this corner we have Black Gryphon. His opponent is the singer and voice actor known as ShadyVox. She's N and I'm F. And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Black Gryphon -Username is actually spelled with a "0"... with a little slash through it. -In the U.S. Navy -Also known as Gabriel C. Brown -Commonly cooperates with Baasik and Michelle Creber -Well-versed in sarcastic humor -A lot of experience in the Electronic genre of music -Was a gryphon... that turned into a pegasus... somehow "I still can't stand the theme song. I'm sorry." The mission of the United States Navy is to protect and defend the right of the United States and their allies to move freely on the oceans and to protect their country against enemies. According to George Washington, a lack of a proper naval force lacks definitive action. 'Honorable and glorious' *ess* can be done as long as the States have it. Among the service of over 300,000 active personnel stands Gabriel C. Brown. Though, the MLP fandom's music community knows him more commonly as Black Gryphon. His start on pony-specific music dates as far back as 2011. He's got a great understanding of vocals, lyrics, and composition. He's also probably got some dirt on the voice actresses for the mane six, since they somehow all agreed to do -licious videos for a meme that went widespread for over a year. Well, that's not completely true. Tabitha St. Germain didn't agree to do a -licious video. Oh, right. I forgot that Tabitha always reads poetry lines for any fan that asks her to do so. No one likes sarcasm, F. Besides, it wasn't all cheesy humor. Gryphon worked well on songs in teams with the likes of Baasik and even Michelle Creber, Apple Bloom's voice. Their cover of Michael Jackson's Beat It was so impressive that AnimatedJames just had to make a music video out of it one year later. There's just one weakness that we can seem to ascertain from within his otherwise swell personality. The very theme song of this great show grates on his ears. Well, I don't blame him. That song is like a nail scratching a chalkboard. What are you talking about? The theme song is the most amazing piece of work in the world! "Very astute observation. I'm glad you had a lot of data to go on there." ---Death Battle--- Shady Vox -Username is actually spelled without a space -Also known as Blake Swift -Cooperated with Youtubers such as "xthedarkone", "Little Kuriboh", and "Kirbopher" -Freelance voice actor, singer, composer, sound designer, and audio engineer -Famous for rap songs, Yu-gi-oh! GX Abridged, T.O.M.E. and other voice acting roles -Marik Ishtar says that whatever someone else can do, Shady can do it better -Jaden Yuki, Spyro, Neon Lights, Button Mash, and Alpha are just a few of the characters he has been "You... are Nylon Tights!" "Neon Lights." "Exactly!" Blake Swift started out life like a normal boy. Boring! *clicks fast forward button* N's lips suddenly move at a much faster rate than she's comfortable with. After a few seconds, F clicks "Play". He took ballet for six years and wet the bed when he was fifteen. Wait, what just happened? Why does it feel like I just bit my tongue? *hides remote* Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about. Um... all right, then. *levitates a water bottle and drinks* Anyway, Shady's been doing all sorts of voice acting work. These include an abridged series of Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, an original online series called TOME, and many more. But Swift does not just speak his voice. He is also very well-versed in sound design and audio engineering. Like many have said before, Shady can do it better. The only downside is that his hair constantly looks like a Kuriboh. As such, careless bikers and other cold individuals have a tendency to run over him and break his voice. Actually, he breaks his coccyx. But if you ever feel the need to rap against him, just remember that ShadyVox is... stronger. "Why does all this crap happen here? Yesterday, it was tennis. Today, it's a duel giant. Tomorrow, it's Tarzan! This place is crazy!" ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. And to make this battle more interesting, I've taken the liberty of giving them the power to transform into some of their own characters. You did what? It's time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- A large ship slowly surges inland. One of the personnel in uniform hops off the ship onto the dock. A snazzy Ferrari makes a sharp turn and the rubber tires burn. The driver's door opens and out steps... a skinny dude with sunglasses. I'd say that this isn't your typical fight setting, but then I'd have to point out that there have been stranger circumstances in which combatants had to duke it out. "FIGHT!" Gabe calmly marches forth. A quiet military beat drums in the background to his pace. Meanwhile, Blake slowly pulls off his sunglasses and tosses them back into the car. He then pulls out a... duel disk system. Wait, how did he fit that in his pockets? Ah, whatever. Upon sliding it upon his wrist, Shady takes on his Jaden Yuki visage. Wow, his hair really does look like a Kuriboh. "I summon Elemental Hero Burstinatrix!" Jaden places the monster card upon a slot on the oversized wrist watch. A heroine appears in her gaudy red outfit. A fireball burns in Burstinatrix's hand before she hurls that sucker like a baseball pitcher. Gabe ducks down just in time for the fire to hit the section of dock that he was just standing on. The Elemental Hero throws some more fireballs. The Navy soldier sidesteps, leans back, and dodge rolls around as the fire destroys more and more of the dock. Soon, he stands on an isolated section of wooden planks with nowhere to run. Burstinatrix charges up her strongest orb of flames. It hurtles toward the doomed man in service. But what's this? In a flash of light, the uniform is abandoned as a dark-feathered gryphon takes to the skies. As our sound effects guy plays with the "eagle screech" button, Black Gryph0n dives down and strikes. Upon contact with the claws, Burstinatrix breaks apart into bits of holographic dust. The gryphon makes another pass against Jaden himself. This force is enough to send the duelist headfirst into the door of his car. "Why is it always my coccyx?" Shady moans. Jaden suddenly vanishes as a small, brown colt pulls himself out. The duel disk has also pulled a transformation act into a Minecraft bow. Button Mash takes aim with a sharp eye and fires an arrow. Black Gryph0n angles to the side, and the arrow knocks a feather loose. He says something that sounds like his beak is full of packing peanuts. "Huh?" asks Button while tilting his head in confusion. Black repeats his incomprehensible statement. The colt suddenly grows up into an opalish unicorn. "Dude, no one could possibly understand what you're saying right now!" While the gryphon laughs at his own Donald Duck impersonation, Shady's form takes that of a young man with spiky red hair. He leaps up with a fiery fist. Gryph0n suddenly has an exclamation point over his head as he notices how close his opponent is getting. Alpha calls upon Poseidon's wrath to soak the gryphon to the bone. He then sends forth a bolt of Zeus's lightning to stress test the property of water that conducts electricity. This combination of attacks sends the eagle-lion straight into the ground. It seems like hope is running out for him. That is, of course, until a certain filly trots up and offers a helping hoof covered in a round, white glove. Her confident gaze transforms the gryphon into a pegasus with very similar colors. Smiling, Black grabs her hoof with his own and stands up. In the background, a bass is dropped smack dab in the middle of a pop song. Suddenly dressed up in snazzy outfits, Gryph0n and Bloom let the rhythm beat through their moves. Alpha looks at them in confusion before being tapped on the side by an eager Spike. Shrugging and transforming into his animated Spyro form, Shady gladly accompanies Spike in his little groove. ~Just beat it (Beat it, beat it) Oh, yeah! (Beat it, beat it)~ Soon, the arena is surrounded by all sorts of characters. Most of which can't be identified by all of the audience. Although, certain dragons of the cold steel, Slifer slackers, OC ponies, and singing actresses from Friendship is Magic can be picked out of the crowd if we take sufficient time to examine them all. Anyway, they all dance in style to the outro music. "Wooo!" ---Death Battle--- Leave it to M.J. to bring conflicts to a confusing halt. Well, it's partially your own fault. In a simple brawl between their human selves, Gabriel Brown would have easily surpassed Blake Swift due to his military experience. But when you started introducing the destructive potential in all of ShadyVox's characters, all bets were off. Both of them had a plethora of songs and side projects that they've been involved in and directly wrote for. Naturally, this means that they both have a good sense of rhythm, and predicting each other's moves was child's play. While Jaden Yuki's voice box will never be the same, it won't stop either of them from doing what they love best. This fight was really Black and Blake. ... Get it? Not really. This Death Battle is a draw. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Side Battle... ... "Giving up already, Sora? I thought you were stronger than that!" ... "These new powers are just... wonderful!" ---