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// You want a trollfic? I'll give you a trollfic! 
// Story: In which Masterweaver just makes stuff up 
// by Masterweaver 
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	"...so, realizing that the timeline was doomed, we endeavored to find a way out of our temporal manifold. One of our most intelligent members found a method to redirect already existing temporal portals outward.... although only I survived the resulting journey. That is how I arrived in your world, my lady." The stranger risked a glance over his cracked shades, but chose not to rise from his kneeling position. "I admit that I consider myself fortunate to be in the presence of such a noble creature as yourself... if you will pardon my impertinence."

A small smile danced on on the blue alicorn's lips for the briefest of seconds, before she regained her stoic glower. "Your compliment is appreciated, stranger." She flicked a wing to the upturned earth in the fire swamp. "Your wanton destruction, however, is not."

The stranger let his eyes fall back behind his dark glasses. "I am ashamed that I brought such ruin to your world, my lady. However, I feel I must remind you that I could not control the meteor as it fell."

She rose an eyebrow. "And the chimera?"

"An act of self defense," he replied. "I... may have allowed my rage to overtake my good sense."

"MAY HAVE?" the tiger head snapped. "You knocked Agatha unconcious, and Irene is spacier than ever!"

"All I'm saying," the snake head slurred, "is why are we living in... a sweeamp? Where do other chimycherrychangas live? Over the rainbow, with the flying monkeys. I am... very sexy." She giggled brightly, wiggling around in a vague pattern. "Yoohoo, mister the dragon! Watch me dance!"

"Indeed..." The alicorn shook her head. "Nevertheless, as you have landed on Equestrian soil you are technically a guest of Equestria. Rise, good sir, and do please give me your name."

The stranger stood upright on his two legs, pulling his black hair back behind his candy-corn yellow horns with hands as grey as the rest of his ashen skin. "I am known as Equius Zahhak, my lady. Would it be too impudent to ask the name of my fair-looking host?"

The alicorn let her wings spread out to their full length, gathering a swirl of dark clouds in the sky behind her as thunder rolled. "You stand before the coregent of Equestria, princess of the night, warrior of the moon, the star's chosen defender, second daughter of Nox, Luna Tsukuyomi Coyolxauhqui!" Lightning backlit her as she finished her proclamation in a grandiose shout that forced the tiger head to pull back its ears.

Just as quickly as they had gathered, the clouds vanished away. "But you, my good sir, may call me Luna."

Equius rubbed a strand of hair between his fingers. "I... do not believe it would be proper of me to address such an obvious superior with such an intimate term. Although I would not object if you ordered me to do so," he quickly added.

"I suppose I could accept it if you referred to me as Princess Luna." The alicorn rolled her eyes. "So many of my subjects do anyway, no matter how much I try to befriend them."

"Hooray, we all know each other's names." The chimera's tiger head was clearly trying to stand its body up, but with only control of its forepaws it was having some difficulty. "Now can you get this guy the tartarus away from us?! I'd rather NOT be in the presence of a dangerous creature while my sisters are out of commission!"

"Awwww, Elinor, you really care!" cooed the viper head, snaking drunkenly next to her. "Kisses!"

"ARGH! IRENE GET YOUR TONGUE OFF MY CHEEK!"

"Why is your cheek orange? I thought it was black..."

Luna stared at the strange creature for a moment. Then she turned back to Equius. "I, ah, can't help but notice one of your horns is broken off. Are you in need of some medical attention?"

The grey stranger brought a finger to the stub. "It... is an old injury, one mostly self inflicted. I am not suffering because of it, if that is your concern."

"I see..." The alicorn shrugged her wings, glancing about. "Well, there is no reason for us to remain in this dreadful place any further. If you are ready and willing, I could take you to the capital city... although I must forewarn you there is an overabundance of plush dolls in the likeness of myself and other national heroes, for reasons that are fairly complex."

"....allow me a moment to tend to something."

Equius walked over to the trench dug up by his crashed meteor, kneeling down and putting a hand in the churned up dirt. "Here lies the souls of eight brave trolls. On this alien soil, in this alien universe, I will forge our race anew. Go now and battle with your ancestors; take your place in the great council of death." He smiled briefly, patting the dirt. "I know you will hunt your foes down with purrfect precision, Nepeta. I expect to be very proud when I join you. And as for the rest of you, if I hear you did not support her in battle, I will be quite.... furious."

He stood, brushing the dirt off his knees and turning to Luna. "After you, my lady."

"Actually, Canterlot is a fair distance away." Luna lowered her head. "However, if you get on my back, I can teleport us both there fairly easily."

Equius glanced away. "I... do not know if that would be entirely appropriate--"

"Oh stop being such a pussy and get on the horse's back!" snapped Elinor. "You were just beating us up a few minutes ago, why can't you get the gumption to do that?!"

"This is a matter of ettiquitte, something you clearly don't understand--"

"Equius," Luna sighed, "get on my back."

"...Very well, my lady. As you command."

In one swift motion he swung himself up, and in a flash of light they were gone. The chimera's goat head groaned. "What.... what happened..?"

"We got beaten up by a bug!" the viper chirped happily. "At least it smelled like a bug. Then things happened. Also, you're awake now! Yay!"