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// PART 2: THE ELEMENT OF MAGIC-Chapter VI: Deep Depression 
// Story: The Lost Element 
// by Gordon Freeman_1 
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         Twilight wanted to be happy that the war was over and Enza was out of Equestria forever, but she wasn’t for some reason! She doesn’t even know how to describe it really, she even tried going to Princess Celestia to talk about it but she can’t seem to express her emotions.

                Twilight doesn’t live with Rarity anymore and now she lives in a regular house in Ponyville that Princess Celestia bought her. She also doesn’t go out of it that much pearly because now she’s treated like a goddess by everypony in Equestria.

                She was pretty much the reason why they won the war but not all of it, what about all the soldiers that gave their lives to try to liberate Ponyville? Twilight wanted to leave Ponyville and go live in Equestria but she didn’t want to leave so many ponies behind, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash!

                Rainbow Dash goes and visits Twilight every now and then but Twilight runs into the same problem as Celestia, she can’t seem to explain her emotions!

                Rainbow Dash was sitting on a rug on the floor reading a comic book when Twilight walked back into the room with some tea. “So yeah ever since the war ended I haven’t been able to explain my emotions that well, I don’t even know why!” Twilight set the tea next to Rainbow Dash.

                Rainbow Dash perked her head up. “Do you think it’s something that happen during the war? Like the time you killed her parents?” this conversation is taking place weeks after the war ended and Twilight hasn’t thought about it or the events that had happened.

                Twilight had a blank look on her face as she walked over and sat on the adjacent rug to Rainbow Dash. She looked behind her to see the armour that she wore during the war, even a framed picture of her, Shining Armor, and Princess Celestia.

                “I guess I haven’t,” then it hit her, the loss of her parents is what’s driving her insane. “It’s the loss of my parents, but I don’t get it! I hated my parents and didn’t show any hesitation killing them!”

                “Twilight, sweetie, it doesn’t matter how much you despise your parents. If you lose them, especially by your hooves, you’re going to feel uncertain emotions,” Rainbow Dash smiled.

                Twilight felt happy for the first time in too long. “You always know how to cheer me up Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash was one of the few ponies in the world that knew Twilight so well.

                She was silent for a moment after saying that too think about what Rainbow Dash had said. “I guess another thing is that everypony doesn’t like me for my personality, but for the fact I saved all of their asses. You and the other four are the only ones here that I like me for who I am.”

                Rainbow Dash cracked a smile. “Well I like you for who you are, so does Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and everypony else.”

                Twilight smiled brightly. “Thank you so much Rainbow Dash, you’re a great friend.”

                “You are too Twilight, I’m going to head back to Cloudsdale to finish some flight training, I’ll talk to you later,” Rainbow Dash got from the rug and walked towards the door.

                “Bye Rainbow Dash!” Twilight waved.

                Rainbow looked back and smiled as she walked out the door. Twilight got up from her rug and walked up to her room. It was around five o’clock when Rainbow Dash had left so it wasn’t too dark outside.

                Twilight couldn’t get over this wave of mix emotions hitting her constantly. She’s happy one moment she got her revenge on her parents, but sad that they’re not here anymore. She also has mixed emotions about not returning to Enza, she couldn’t figure it out!

                “Oh my goodness WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!” Twilight wanted to rip her room apart. She looked to her right to see the armour she wore in the battle hanging as display. After taking a good look at it she decided that she needed to go see Princess Celestia about this.

                Twilight looked out the window and saw some of the markets were still open so she decided to go out and get some supplies. Even though she was probably good on everything, it was still good for her to get out of her house.

                She grabbed her saddlebag and purse and walked out of her house. Surprisingly, nopony was getting in her face trying to get her autograph or something. It was just a regular day out today.

                Twilight stopped by this tent that was selling milk, but before she could pay, the clerk wanted to talk to her. “Hi there! My name is Lyra Heartstrings and I saw what you did a week ago!”

                Twilight didn’t smile. “Yeah, a lot of ponies did…”

                Lyra seemed confused. “What’s wrong? I’d thought you’d be happy about the whole thing!”

                Twilight sighed. “It’s just I killed my parents. I expected myself to be happy about that, but it’s driving me down to the floor.”

                “You probably don’t want to talk about this, but why did you kill your parents?”

                “They treated me like shit pretty much throughout my entire life.”

                “I’m so sorry Twilight. I can’t say I know how you feel, but I can say I know where you are coming from. As a gift from me, take this milk, on the house,” Lyra smiled.

                “Thank you so much Lyra,” Twilight felt somewhat better
.
                “You’re welcome. If you would like to talk further about what happen, I live on the other side of the Ponyville town hall.”

                “Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.” Twilight grabbed her milk and decided to just head back home sense it was getting pretty late.

                When Twilight got back to her house she was greeted with the mail pony at her house surprisingly late. “What are you doing? It’s like seven o’clock!”

                “Sorry Twilight, this package just came in and they told me I had to deliver it right away to you,” the mail pony approached her.

                “Oh, that’s okay then,” Twilight was handed the package and the mail pony flew off. She quickly ran back inside and opened up the box that wasn’t that big. Before she ripped off the last piece of tape, around the box to see who it was from, no return address.

                Twilight found a strange looking book inside, then she realized what it was. It was her personal journal that she kept from the time Mespha saved her up until the day she had to leave for Equestria. She actually felt a tear run down her cheek at the sight of this.

                She looked inside the box and saw nothing else so she walked over to one of the rugs on the floor, sat down, and opened her journal. She decided to flip back to the very first day, when her life changed forever.

                She read the first entry. “Man, I can’t believe I almost killed myself. I didn’t realize there are ponies in this forsaken country that actually care about other ponies rather than themselves! The ponies here at Mespha’s castle are really nice too. All her royal guards are very polite and friendly. Once my mom threw me onto the street I vowed I’d never make a friend ever again, but I might just revoke that promise. I don’t know, this is only the first day so a lot could change over the years. We’ll have to see!” The entry ends there.

                She flipped a couple pages to the next entry. “Today I start my first day teaching at Princess Mespha’s school for unicorns. I can’t believe she decided to open a school her being that education is not the most important thing here at Enza, but this country’s economy is getting better so I can’t blame her. I’m afraid one kind of students I’ll get however. I’ve read some books on teaching and the book states that students could either be really well behaved, or really awful and absolutely terrible. I guess we’ll have to see tomorrow, I got to get working on my lesson plan soon, probably after I finish this journal entry. Mespha wants me to teach them the basics in magic skills such as things like picking up things with your magic. That shouldn’t be too hard to do, it’s not that hard to memorize the rhymes required for spells like that, in my opinion at least.” Twilight remembered how wonderful her students were and how much they appreciated her. She wanted to put her journal down but she couldn’t for some reason, she had to keep reading.

                She flipped one or two more pages to the following journal entry. “My students are absolutely wonderful! They loved me and respect me! Of course they could only be as a teacher, but who cares! I’ve gotten little to no respect from anypony in a long, long time! Man I love being a teacher, I’m so glad Princess Mespha gave me this job. I have to say this job is so much better than working in a library. However the library was rather fun, this job is better paying and it is all-around more enjoyable. The surprising thing is the students are actually understanding what I am teaching them. It could be because they’re unicorns but I really don’t know, I am happy that they’re coming around so quick! I don’t know what spell I’m going to teach them tomorrow however. It certainly not going to be teleportation spells, I’m having trouble with that on my own. But we’ll have to see tomorrow!” Twilight threw her journal against the wall. She couldn’t to stand the life she just left behind just because of her past with Enza. Sure Enza was a shitty place and everywhere she went something was going down, but what ponies she did interact with in Enza, actually treated her somewhat acceptable.

                Twilight then started to pace around her living room with mixed emotions. She didn’t have any friends back at Enza and Enza was an awful place, but the ponies she somewhat knew, treated her like a friend almost! Equestria is a really amazing place to live but the ponies here only like her because she won the war for Equestria! Despite that being several weeks ago! She looked out her window at the almost pitch black sky. It was probably around eight o’clock and she knew what she was going to do. The markets were closed so she decided to go visit Lyra. Lyra told her that she lived on the other side of Ponyville city hall so her house is probably.

                When Twilight walked out of her house she looked around for a little bit and saw a light greened colour pony walk into a house in her view. She looked to her left to see the town hall so she assumed that was Lyra’s house. Twilight didn’t know what to expect going over to her house but it was probably better than possibly destroying her own from utter rage.

                She got to Lyra’s front door and was reaching over to knock but stopped herself. She kept asking herself ‘Is this a good idea?’ At this point, Twilight didn’t even know anymore. She took a deep breath in and out and knocked on the door.

                Twilight waited not too long, like a couple of seconds before Lyra opened the door for her. She had some coffee that she was holding with her magic and offered Twilight some. Twilight respectfully declined and walked towards the living room.

                “Come take a seat anywhere!” Lyra sat down on her couch.

                Twilight walked over to the rug in front of the couch Lyra was sitting on and sat down there. She tried to look at positive as possible but even she knew Lyra could see right into her eyes.

                “So Twilight, would you like to tell me what’s bothering you?” Lyra took a sip of her coffee.

                “As you know, I saved Ponyville from Enza’s wrath, and I’ve been getting lots of love for it. You’d think I’d be happy about it! But it’s driving me crazy. What little friends I had in Enza loved me for who I am, ponies here only love me for saving damn Equestria.”

                Lyra looked emotionless. “Go on,” she knew that wasn’t all.

                “Also it’s for the fact that I killed my parents at the Enza camp near the Ponyville beaches…” Twilight looked down at the floor and closed her eyes.

                Lyra set her coffee down by the table next to her and nodded, she knew this was the real cost. “Twilight Sparkle,” she got off the couch. “Why did you kill your parents?”

                “Because I hated them. They treated me like utter crap for many years. My dad abandoned my mom and me when I was three and my mom left me for dead when I was nine. I’ve wanted to get revenge on them ever since. And I did, but why do I feel so empty after doing so?” Twilight eyes started to tear up.

                Lyra walked over to her and gave her a hug around her neck. “Twilight, I never knew my parents. I was abandoned when I turned one year old and nopony wanted me up until I was old enough to care for myself. I never grew up with my parents! Sure if I were to meet them the next day I would punch them in the face but I wouldn’t kill them! Here’s what I’m saying Twilight, no matter how much you despise your parents, you’re going to still be emotionally attached to them in some shape or form. For example if I found out who my parents were and they died right in front of me even by my hooves, I would probably cry myself to sleep every night for the next month or two! You get what I’m saying?”

                Twilight looked behind her at Lyra’s face. “I understand. This makes so much more sense now. I think there could have been a better solution than to kill my parents I think.”

                Lyra got off of her took a couple steps back. “Maybe,” Lyra thought to herself for a second. “I know what would cheer you up Twilight! The yearly summer solstice is coming up soon! It’s going to be in Canterlot but it’ll cheer you up after seeing Princess Celestia raise the sun. It’ll probably get your mind of your parents and afterwards, you can talk to her if you still don’t feel that well.”

                Twilight got up. “Thank you Lyra, you sure do know how to make a mare feel better.”

                “Trust me Twilight, this isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with it, in fact I think you’re not my worst case. And going back to what we were talking about before, what was going through your mind when you killed your mother and father?”

                “Revenge, if I could do something more awful to them I would have, but Princess Celestia and the Princess of Enza were both watching. They didn’t disturb me however, they knew I wanted to do this, I needed to do this, but they didn’t want me to do it. And looking back on it, I wish I didn’t do it. I could never forgive my parents for all the hell they gave me, however I wish I handled the situation better than I did that day.”

                “I understand completely,” Lyra didn’t know what to feel anymore, but she still knew where Twilight was coming from, being that she is from a different country in all. “I can’t really say anything based on your front being that I’m not from Enza, but I do however understand. So you think you’ll go to the summer solstice?”

“I will most go most likely. Thanks for telling me and inviting me,” Twilight started walking towards Lyra’s door. “Thanks for helping me and inviting me to your house Lyra, but I should be getting home it’s getting rather late.”

                Lyra looked out the nearest window. “It is getting rather late. Alrighty then Twilight Sparkle, I’ll see you in Canterlot!”

                “Bye Lyra,” Twilight walked out of the door.

                When Twilight got back to her house she saw her old journal on the floor next to the adjacent wall to her kitchen. She picked it up, dusted it off, and set it on her kitchen table. After that, she got a glass of water, then she decided she had enough for the night so she just went to bed.

                The next morning she got up late. The summer solstice wasn’t for another day or two so she had time to go hang out with her friends. She still was slightly depressed, but she’s feeling better. She needed to get her depression off her mind so she decided to go hang out with one of her friends, however Twilight didn’t know what friend she was going to hang out with…

                She thought about going up to Canterlot to see Celestia and Shining Armor being that she hasn’t seen since the war ended. Celestia wrote to her a couple of times but they haven’t seen each other in real life sense the war. Twilight decided against it and went to go see Fluttershy.

                When she got to her cottage, Twilight could see Fluttershy in the window playing with her animals. Twilight knocked on the door and waited for a couple of minutes before Fluttershy finally opened it. Fluttershy wasn’t expecting Twilight to come over, but she was certainly happy to see her.                

                “Hey Twilight how’s it going today?” Fluttershy gestured Twilight to come in.

                “Just trying to recover from the unfortunate events that happen during the war…” Twilight walked it frowning.

                “You mean when you?” Fluttershy cut herself off.

                Twilight sighed. “Yes Fluttershy, we don’t need to recap.”

                “I’m sorry, would you like to cuddle with one of my animals?” Fluttershy turned her attention towards a dog.

                “That would be wonderful,” sat down where she was and waited for whatever Fluttershy was going to do next.

                Fluttershy picked up one of her dogs and brought it over to Twilight, then placed it on her back. The dog curled in her back and started licking her next. Twilight couldn’t stop laughing and laid her head on the floor.

                The dog got off Twilight’s back and walked around to in front of her and started licking her face. The dog had brown fur and orange eyes, he was also very puffy so Twilight reached out and grabbed him. She proceeded to cuddle with him and the dog started licking her cheek.

                Fluttershy giggled at the sight she was seeing. “You having fun Twilight?”

                The purple coloured mare glanced up. “Yes, yes I am.” The dog continued to licked Twilight’s face then got off and walked back over to his little dog house and take a nap. Twilight got up and whipped her face. “I really needed that.”

                “I figured you did Twilight,” Fluttershy thought to herself for a moment. “Would you like to talk about what happen during the war?”

                “No, I’m good. I already spent like an hour or two yesterday talking about it with another mare so I think I’m good.”

                After Twilight got done with what she was saying, there was another knock on the door. Fluttershy flew over and opened the door to find Rarity standing in its place. “Oh hello everypony how’s it going today?”

                “Hey Rarity,” Twilight turned her attention towards her. “It’s going good, what about you?”
                “Oh I’m just fabulous darling thanks for asking! I haven’t seen you in a couple of days Twilight where have you been?” Rarity walked into the cottage.

                “I’ve been locked inside my house mainly. I’ve been helping Cheerilee with her teaching but I haven’t been out that much. I’ve been depressed mainly actually.”

                “Why is that?” Rarity started becoming overly concern.

                “Just the war was getting to me, you know killing my parents in all, and being that you saw the entire thing…”

                “Oh it’s not a big deal Twilight Sparkle! Well it’s a big deal to you that you killed your parents but it’s not a big deal that I saw it! Plus you need to think about something: anypony from Enza would do the same thing if they were put into your horse shoes.”

                Twilight raised her head. “I, never really thought of it like that. That’s very true, there are ponies in Enza that have an even worse anger than I.”

                “I see the positive attitude in you already Twilight Sparkle! Now, why don’t you run on home and get ready for the summer solstice? Sure it’s not for a couple days, but still, the entire Canterlot Theatre is going to be packed to the brim that day!”

                “Yeah you’re right, I’ll see you two later, bye!” Twilight got up and started walking towards the door.

                Fluttershy and Rarity both looked at her and waved. “Bye Twilight!”

                Twilight shut the door and everything grew silent for a couple of seconds before Rarity started talking again.

                “Didn’t you feel a magical sensation while talking to her Fluttershy?” Rarity felt stupid for asking.

                “As a matter of fact I did,” Fluttershy responded. “I just kind of ignored it because I thought it was Twilight giving off a magical aura while she was upset.”

                “Could have been for all we know, I’ll ask her later on my own time.”

                Couple days past and it was almost time for the summer solstice.  All six mares were really excited and pumped for it! It was the one-thousandths anniversary of the summer solstice so it must be special for something! They were heading to the train station and as expected, it was packed. They even had to start calling two trains at a time just to get ponies to Equestria on time!

                Finally, Twilight and her friends finally loaded up onto a train and were on their merry way to Canterlot. Just like on her first train ride to Ponyville Twilight sat by herself on the train ride to Canterlot while all of other friends sat in bunches. She just sat at one of the seats looking out the window at the nice day.

                Rarity quickly noticed this and walked over to Twilight to see what was going on. “Are you still upset Twilight Sparkle?”

                Twilight looked over at her and smiled. “Hardly, I’ve always sat alone whenever I would ride the train or something along those lines. I don’t know, I guess you can say force of habit. Plus it’s a nice day outside right now so.”

                Rarity nodded. “Understandable. But come sit with us! Be social! Please for us?”

                “But Rarity, I don’t like being social,” Twilight laughed.

                Rarity started pulling on Twilight’s tail. “Yes you do! Now come with me now!”

                Twilight got up from her seat. “Fine if you insist.” She walked over and joined her friends on the other side of the train car. They talked little bit about the summer solstice but they never really knew why it was put in place. Was it just a cool thing to watch Celestia raise the sun? They didn’t know but they honestly didn’t care, it looked really cool!

                After they reached Canterlot, they walked around the city a little. Twilight never really got to see the full beauty of Canterlot, this is her third time being in Canterlot after all. The first time was because she needed to gather the pointless information and during the march out of the city with an entire army.

                They didn’t spend too much time walking around Canterlot being that the Summer Solstice was starting in a few short hours. They visited Rainbow Dash’s favourite racing track and Rarity’s favourite dress shop but that’s really about it.

                The theatre that was hosting the Summer Solstice was gargantuan! It had to be four or five times bigger than any theatre Twilight had seen! Not many ponies in Enza got to theatrical events so the theatres were never really that big.

                Everypony took their respected place in the theatre and waited for the main event. The theatre had twenty rows of seats stretching to at least half a hoofball field. It had a stage that had the sun beaming down from behind it and a nice view of the ocean, it truly was a sight worth seeing.

                Around eight o’clock, everypony settled down as a royal guard walked on the stage. “Alright everypony, who’s ready for the one-thousands anniversary of the Summer Solstice!”

                The crowd cheers roared, they were all very excited. Twilight was covering her ears with her hooves however being that loud noises do bother her tremendously.

                “Let’s give a big round of applause for the great, Princess Celestia!” the stage lights centred down at the middle of the stage, nothing happened. Ponies in the crowd started having conversations trying to figure out a reason for this. Some even got up and left.

                About a couple seconds later, a cloud of midnight blue smoke appeared in the centre of the stage and then it started laughing evilly. That’s when it took form into the thing that Twilight feared most.

                “Why hello my subjects, are you ready for despair? For I, Nightmare Moon, have returned! Bwahahaha!” Nightmare Moon took form in the middle of the stage.