//------------------------------// // Day 1 - Arrival // Story: Diaries of a Madman - Lessov Adict Edit // by Quillo Manar //------------------------------// Day 1 in Equestria - Arrival Well, my life took a turn for the monumentally weird. Ever have one of those days, you know, those days. Where things just don’t go the way you want it to, and it all just makes you wish it was over as soon as possible? Thankfully, yesterday was one of those days and today was one of… those days. You know what I mean? No? Neither do I. Context might be nice, so I guess I should start this off with the crux of yesterday. School is school. I’m not sure how else I can put it. There are good schools, there are bad schools, there are catholic schools, and then there is my school. It’s a mix of all three, the teachers are smart but strict, the students are varied and have their own cliques and the buildings are old fashioned. It’s kind of what you’d expect from a small town in Australia, settled by european settlers bent on making a world a bette catholic place. It brought me great pleasure that I was close to leaving that place for good. Still, I’m getting off track, today… right. I can say that I’m stalling at the moment, as there is really no way I can explain this properly without being called insane. Though, judging from my experiences on day one on this planet, insanity is taken lightly here. I could very well be insane and not even know it, but then the mention of me having the slight possibility of being insane reduces my likelihood of being insane. This in turn makes be believe that I am not insane which raises my chance of actually being insane, but since I know this, redu Right, I’m off track; Today. It all started as a very strange day the moment I was awoken in the middle of the night. Sometimes, you have this inkling in your mind that tells you that it’s going to be a weird day, well, this inkling for me started with a ‘pins-and-needles’ sensation in my feet. It’s not strange for me to wake up with dead arms due to how weird my sleeping is, but generally my legs are fine. I just laid there in bed waiting for the sensation to dissipate. I then knew there was a problem when the sensation steadily crawled up them. I quickly tore off my covers to inspect my legs, only to find that they ended at my shins. They weren’t cut off, as there was a lack of pain, blood, psychotic mass murderer, and suspenseful string music, but rather faded and just, gone. I sent signals to my toes to curl and move, but I couldn’t feel any signal of feeling coming back to me. “That’s weird, I usually have feet down there,” this was a preliminary thought to an ensuring panic attack, but I feel that comments like these tend to lighten the load a bit. Joviality is helium in a balloon I say… I freaked out anyway but still, but come on, my legs were disappearing. The next few minutes was spent screaming and flailing about. Not my finest moment, but I didn’t read the latest issue of ‘Disappearing And You: Coping With those Suddenly Missing Limbs’ so screaming and flailing was my only option. I’m sure that if there was anybody else in the house I would have woken them up by now. However, other than my own shouting, no sounds or disturbances echoed through the empty halls of my house. I decided to stop screaming when my voice was tapering on the edge of hoarse, all that and my thighs were the next target. After these few minutes my legs were completely swallowed up by the ethereal snake and my thighs were next. Through this haze of trepidation and panic, one lucid thought erupted and prevailed in my mind. ‘Leave a note’ So I did. How did I leave a note you ask? Well, you shouldn’t be asking that because it’s not nice to read my journals. Jerk. Anyway, I was very interested in this Lucid dreaming business and the top-tip is to keep a dream journal next to the bed, so that’s where I wrote it. dont freak out but it apears im disapearing sorry for gramar but ive lost legs have no time full sentences stomac gone GOODBYE CRUEL- Then the interstellar invisible snake managed to swallow my arms. At the sensation of my elbows disappearing, I accidentally dropped the pen, disallowing me to continue the note. Anyway, so I was mostly disappeared by now and I had only my upper chest and head left, my entire body otherwise was completely shrouded in pins-and-needles. It was more unsettling and uncomfortable than painful, but still, weird as. I had little time left until this beast swallowed me completely, and I only had my neck and head left. My last thought before falling into quintessential darkness was, ‘I’d make a weird bust to add to a collection.’ Sensibility was all but thrown out the window because I was being swallowed whole by an ominous snake thing that I couldn’t see, sue me. What I felt next is impossible to describe properly in words or sentences, the best example I could give would be that I was sucked into a black hole, spaghettification and all. It was dark but wasn’t void of light or redshifted at all. Granted, there was red, as well as every other colour that I could perceive, as well as some that I couldn’t comprehend, but that’s what it felt like. Through the pins and needles sensation that covered my entire body I managed to feel that my body was stretching but staying the same, warping yet solidifying, these conflicting feelings just compounded to my utter lack of understanding of anything ever. Then it stopped, and I could feel everything, and nothing. Well, sort of, I sent a probe into the recesses of my body and to my extremities, and I could feel everything there, arms, legs, etc. but I couldn’t move them. If I was restrained then I’d feel the restraints, but I couldn’t, literally every part of my body was prevented movement, but they weren’t restrained. Understand what I had to deal with that early in the morning? I tried to open my eyes, but that was prevented as well. The onset of loneliness was soon cut short as I heard a women’s voice. “Ah ha! It worked! This is… it’s… well… it’s not quite what I was expecting…” Sorry I’m such a disappointment, “Spike, take note: the Subject appears disorientated, most likely a side-effect to teleportation, this can indicate that the subject either hasn’t had exposure to magic or is not prone to blinking long distances” Pre-definite knowledge thesis, I’ve been captured by a mad scientist, “there is little hair covering it, the majority is on the top of its head and there is some present where most likely is its lower stomach and bellow its neck, everywhere else, as much is visible, void. There is a type of what appears to be clothing covering up its lower body down to its ‘hind’ legs, ending at its feet. On a note of its extremities, its forelegs end in stick-like appendages with five digits, they end in very short claws that seem either trimmed or chewed, most likely the latter.” I have nerve issues, cut me some slack. Through this thorough investigation of my fantastic body, I quickly realised that what ever had me trapped or suspended, whatever, was preventing my chest from moving, so I couldn’t breath. I then tried to get a message to my captive. “Cn’t brthh-” I tried to force. “It’s attempting speech! Spike, write down everything it says!” the woman said, I was indeed trying to speak, but I couldn’t because she wasn’t letting me move my mouth. “Umm, Twilight… I think you might be holding it a bit too hard,” the one most likely called Spike interjected. I’m starting to like this guy, at least his head is screwed on the right way. Unfortunately, this Twilight didn’t have the best supply of common sense and only released the restraint to my mouth and neck, now it was time to frantically scream in panic and use what little air I have left. “I can’t breath!” I yelled immediately. “What?” the female voice replied, shocked, but still not letting my lungs go. The silly. “Crushing lungs, can’t brea-!” I then ran out of breath. So, this is how I die, mishandled in a science project. I am riddled with joy… wait no, I’m pretty sure that thing I’m feeling now is called regret… yep, most likely regret. “Oh! Sorry!” the voice said as it did the same thing as before but around my chest area, I then sucked in a large breath and replenished my supply of magnificent life preserving oxygen. “Thank you,” I breathed. “You’re… umm… Welcome,” she seemed hesitant to reply, I briefly wondered why, and I was about to ask about that, but she cleared her throat and began again, “the Subject seems to speak and understand Equestrian, this perhaps demonstrates a higher level of speech and potential charming abilities, Spike, write down the things it says, but don’t listen to them, we don’t want it loose and have it causing trouble.” “Roger,” the younger male voice replied. “Charming? Well, you don’t sound that bad yourself,” I quietly mumbled, before piping up, “what’s with this test Subject business? I have a name you know.” “Names. Suggests a level of civilisation, though, the extent is unknown. Speak, Test Subject,” she said the ‘test subject’ as if she was addressing me with that as a name, someone’s a bit arrogant, “what part of Equestria are you from?” I once heard that when you have been captured by someone who doesn’t know you, the best thing to do is keep it that way, whilst learning as much as you can about them. “It’s proper form to start with a name you know. My name is Fericious, what’s yours?” I happen to like Fericious thank you very much, it’s a weird as hell name that I use for online work, and it sounds badass. Wait a second. Equestria? What’s that? Some obscure country? I think I mightn’t be in Australia anymore. Joy… no, regret… oh forget it. “Subject has identified himself as… Fericious, an unusual name, now, what part of Equestria do you come from? Is it uncharted territory?” I paused for a moment in contemplation before finally giving up and saying, “I don’t understand anything ever, first of all, why can’t I open my eyes?” She huffed at my indignation before answering my question in an exasperated tone, “We can’t be sure what kind of offensive or defensive abilities you have, I’m sorry but we can’t trust your eyes at the moment.” Yet she trusted my mouth for some reason. That’s odd, she’s odd. Besides if she really didn’t trust me then I should be hearing her voice through an intercom on the other side of half-meter thick titanium infused oneway glass, “You didn’t think this through at all did you?” I bluntly said, evoking my full male swagger. “What?” She responded, time to go all Sherlock Holmes on this person. “If this was a documented experimental research project as you so claimed, you know the whole, write this down and that whole ‘Test Subject’ business, then you would have put precautions in place to prevent that sort of thing from being a possibility of harm in the first place. You have to at least have me in some sort of cage right? What happens if I use my brute strength to escape your confines? What then? Don’t tell me you don’t have any protection at all, what if I had some sort of disease in me that I was immune to but could be fatal to you?” Tee hee, implied innuendo. She said nothing, I could practically feel her stunned. “Tell me you at least thought of that.” She stayed silent. “He has you there Twi,” the awesome dude said. “You be quiet, and you can’t know for sure that he is male.” “He sounds like it,” he so awesome I just want to go over there and give him the bro-fisting of a life time- that looks horrifically gay written down. “And last I checked I was,” I piked in. “We don’t even know he’s species!” She spoke loudly, obviously becoming infuriated. “Isn’t it obvious, aren’t you human to?” I asked with a forced even temperament, to contrast her anger. I do that automatically as it gives me a higher ground to fight on, on a sort of ‘You’re yelling and I’m not, therefore I’m better than you,’ stand point, but actually it just makes me look like an ass. “No, I am a pony! Of course I’m a pony! I’m holding you up with magic, so obviously I’m a unicorn! If you are so highly intelligent as you so claim, then you would have known this!” “Yeah well, I never said intelligent and I can be pretty unobservant at times, sue me,” as if I’d put that together. Wait. Hold on a cotton picking minute, “Forgive me if my brain died on me but, did you just say pony, magic and unicorn in that order?” “More or less yes,” she became complacent for a second there. “So you are a talking pony, okay, you either fully live up to your mad stature of mad scientist, or I’m really not in the right world any more,” I pieced it together before, but I denied it due to the whole mad scientist thing. She hmp’d before breathing and letting out a sigh, “Let’s start this again before this degrades into a shouting match,” I was about to interject with the whole, ‘I wasn’t shouting’ schtick I had planned, but wisely I kept my mouth shut. “Since we are both intelligent creatures here,” that’s only half true… ZING! “I suggest a question by question proceeding.” “Fair enough, ladies first.” “Right, so, where do you come from.” “I was born in the Royal Brisbane Hospital in Queensland, in a country historians call Australia, on a planet geologists have called called Earth, located in the solar system our race has fittingly called Sol, residing in a galaxy astronomers have called the Milky Way, in the plane of reality our philosophical physicists have dubbed,” I paused for a second, “the 3rd Dimension…” the pause was necessary because it is a requirement to emphasise the ‘3rd Dimension’ just before lightning strikes a cat outside. Sadly, the whole lightning business didn’t happen, so a cat is saved this day. I cleared my throat and continued, “but I lived with my family in a farm, part of the town North of Brisbane called Calliope.” “Well, that didn’t tell me much,” she proclaimed simply. “You say that like you weren’t expecting it to,” I replied, “now, my question, where are we?” “In the laboratory underneath the library located in Ponyville, Equestria, planet Equis, solar system Cel, and… we… haven’t really gone past that bit to be honest.” Horse puns, how quaint. “So we are in a laboratory, you did that at least,” My remark was undermined by the lack of sarcastic clapping. A laboratory under a library, let me guess, this is where they get their ‘primary’ research. “I’m going to assume that’s a compliment to dissuade further argument.” “Clever girl,” I muttered, “also, Equestria, there’s that word again, that’s the country right?” “Yes, now, what is your species and what are your traits?” “Oh gees, I’m not a biology major, but my species’ name is Homo Sapiens, the common name is Human. We don’t have any natural defences or real ‘traits’ aside from our magnificent minds. If there is a problem, a human can sort it. The only thing bad about us, is that we are monumentally lazy, we have invented so many ground breaking things just so that we don’t need to do that little bit more.” Literally everything that we’ve invented came for our convenience, “Walking sucks, so we invented cars. Traveling sucks, so we invented aeroplanes. Farming sucks, so we invented artificial food production systems. Being sick sucks, so we invented various medicines. Basically, life sucks, so we made it easier,” pretty much sums up all of man’s inventions. “Spike did you write that down?” “Umm… yes?” He sounded hesitant, “How do you spell Say-pe-ens?” My interrogator huffed but I replied before she could, “Ess-ay-pee-eye-ee-en-ess. That’s two questions for me now,” I grinned as I spoke letting out a comical laugh, having won a figurative match. The younger one, Spike, laughed along quietly. “That doesn’t count,” Twilight quickly said, the spoil sport. “Fine, will you let me see?” “Depends, do you use your eyes for anything other than sight?” I’m counting that one. “Reading, watching, determining, writing, and occasionally, ogling at fine wimens.” I wiggled my eyebrows in the best, ‘I’m seducing you’ manner I could fabricate. My efforts were rewarded with a slight groan and a passing remark about ‘stallions’, for some reason. All at once, I could feel something receding from my face a bit as my eyes were freed, I blinked them open sluggishly, and tried to focus on the sight before me. “… Hello there…” I blinked a couple of times, “you’re purple,” not the best thing to open with, it wasn’t my finest moment. I just stared at the very purple pony standing in front of me, she was looking at me with her very purple eyes, covered slightly by her very purple mane that was highlighted with a very bright purple and pink streak, and she had a very purple horn that was glowing very purple. She was indeed, very purple. I think I have a new nickname for her, I will now refer to her in passing as Grape-Flavoured. Not that I would ever say it out loud, mind you. And if you are reading this Grape-Flavoured, then you deserve being called Grape-Flavoured, because looking through a person’s personal journal is wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself. “And you have a purple pet lizard too…” I continued when I looked towards the little very purple lizard thing standing next to her, he was holding a (thankfully) red and yellow quill in his very purple claw as he was writing things down on the parchment that he was holding in his other very purple claw, “Am I purple? Are we all purple here?” My mind wasn’t with me at the realisation. Sue me. “Hey! I’m a dragon, buddy! And you better remember it!” the little very purple dragon exclaimed at me, heh, ‘it be the little very purple dragon of legend’ it seems. “You’re still only a baby Spike,” Spike deflated at the reminder, “and No, Fericious, you are not purple,” the bemused, or in hindsight probably slightly irritated, Grape-Flavoured pony stated to me. “Crisis averted,” I breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief. “Right, so, you are wearing some kind of cloth on you’re legs, why?” My mind was spinning but I still managed to answer her question, “Well, these are my pyjamas, they are made of a soft cotton-polystyrene compound that is most common in clothes where I come from. Usually I’d wear a shirt to go with it but I figured that it was a warm enough night not to.” Actually, I figured that it was a cold enough night to wear pants, goddamn it I was lucky that she teleported me out with pants on, I did NOT want to have to deal with flashing the first two people I see, “Humans wear clothes because our natural heating systems are inefficient and we have little to no hair on our bodies.” “Got it, Spike?” “…heating… in- ine- ineff-ic-ient… got it!” He beamed triumphantly, she nodded in his direction before turning back to me. I just stared into the very purple pony in abject silence. “Your turn to ask now,” she offered. “I know, I’m still getting over the fact that you’re very purple… Ask me another thing just so that I can think a bit and ask something else when my mind isn’t focused on how very purple you are.” The grape-flavoured pony did not look very amused, as presented by the exasperated nicker, but she carried on regardless. “Alright then, what about the appendages on the ends of your forelegs? Why do you have them and what can you do with them?” I shifted my eyes to the right to see if I could see them, I could barely but not very well, as I couldn’t turn my head. Did I mention that she was somehow holding me in the air splayed out in a starfish like shape? If I didn’t, I did now. “Not forelegs, arms, and they are called hands, the little digits are called fingers, the big solitary fat one is called a thumb, or an opposable thumb. They allow me to grasp and to hold a multitude of different things, as I’ve said before, humans have no natural fighting or hunting abilities, like claws, fangs or enhanced senses, yet we are still the best fighters and hunters on the planet. We developed tools to work with our hands to give us the greatest mechanical advantage possible,” It’s how we are the apex predator after all, if there is something alive, we can make it not so any more, “Animals hunt with their bodies and relay on their brains to help them, we fight and hunt with our minds and use our bodies to aid us. I think I can ask a question now.” “How very interesting, I am to assume that you are carnivorous, I wouldn’t expect any less.” “Omnivorous actually, humans can eat both meat and vegetation, although, we generally don’t like to eat meat raw,” I opened my mouth wide so she could get a look at my (slightly less than) perfect teeth so she’d have an idea what she was dealing with, I used my tongue to point out my canines, “those four spiky teeth are called canines, our teeth aren’t designed to rend or shred living flesh, only to chew and break down cooked food, before swallowing. Now, my questions.” “Of course, continue.” “How am I floating? And How am I here?” “The answer to both of those can be summed up with, Magic.” Snort, snort. I blinked, “Come again?” “I am currently using a spell matrix to tap into my natural magic reserves to power a simple levitation spell that is channeled through other matrices to give a more precise and complete holding at a force that directly counteracts the force applied to you by the planet’s gravity. As for how you got here, it was much more complex, I used an algorithm that was passed down by scholars through the ages that taps into not only the magical reserves of the pony, but also the innate energy of the planet, the spell was designed to call forth the metaphysical ‘voice’ or ‘soul’ of the planet to find and retrieve a weakened member of the most dangerous species alive. It was supposed to reach only into itself, but unfortunately, the spell seemed to reach across space to find… well… you.” She seemed disheartened, “the motive behind all this was that I wanted to find and research the most dangerous species so that Pony-kind as a whole would be able to prepare for anything. That spell was very complex and required a ton of magic to do, I don’t know if I could do it again…” “You seem apologetic almost, it’s okay though right? You’ll just recharge and send me back when you’re done right?” it was with the way she worded it and the hint of sadness on her tone, I continued apprehensively, “something went wrong, didn’t it.” She started becoming defensive, “I didn’t know you were going to be from another planet! I figured that you’d at least be from this one! I…” her eyes teared up as she looked to the floor, “there isn’t a counter spell, I… don’t have a way to send you back.” My mind halted, my arms and legs tensed up, the back of my neck felt like it was turning to stone, I knew the onset of an anxiety attack when I felt it. It’s okay though, I thought, because I just need to squeeze my stress ball to alleviate the ten- I couldn’t move my arms. I wasn’t anywhere near my stress ball. I wasn’t anywhere near my house. I wasn’t anywhere near my planet. I have no way of getting back. I can’t move my arms. I… I… I have to be let down. I need to be let down. “Let me down,” I said suddenly. “I can’t, I don’t know if you are dangerou-.” “Let me down, right now,” I growled so suddenly and sharply that I startled her into losing concentration on her ‘spell’, the purple aura surrounding her horn and I fizzled out as she stepped back. A clear instance of her prey-to-predator behaviour shining through, I noted this as a ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ situation, she being the deer, and the headlights belonging to my anxiety truck within me that’s about to erupt and turn everything in sight into varying degrees of roadkill. I fell out of the air and onto my feet, I didn’t stand for long as I then fell forward and onto my hands and knees as the anxiety fully clawed it’s way in and solidified it’s grip on my mind. No, no, no, no, no, no, I repeated in my mind as I began to hyperventilate, this can’t be happening! but it was. I tried to wake myself up as if I was in a dream, my arm became indented with my fingernail and I actually drew blood, but I was still very much in this nightmare. Everything I knew and loved is gone, and I can’t get them back. “What kind of scientist are you?” I yelled to the floor, “What made you think that summoning the most dangerous creature here would be okay? What part of that plan is sane to you?” I gazed upon the purple menace with tears edging on my eyes, “Did you even think this through at all?” “I wanted to protect the world by-“ I shot up to my feet, the abrupt action cutting her off, “bringing the ‘most dangerous creature alive’ here? You have some damned screwed up morals if you think that that was a good idea! Goddamn it!” “I didn’t know that the spell would summon something from another world! How was I su-!” “You shut up! You just shut the goddamned hell up!” I began my approach towards her, each step punctuating my words, “You ruined everything I had in my life, nothing you can say will ever fix that!” I was right on her, I flicked down and grabbed her by the arms to lift her up to my level. I stared at her straight into her fear ridden eyes with my powerful rage-filled ones. She was scared, but I yet shouted into her face, “You ripped me away from my world! You tore me away from my family and my home! How you possibly think that that would be fine is beyond me! How dare you! You stupid fuc-“ ‘Never resort to swearing.’ I loosened my grip on the scared pony and she fell out of my hands. As soon as she hit the ground she quickly scrambled away from me. I closed my eyes and forced my body to stop as my dad’s golden rule stabbed through my head, it was never proper form to swear, especially in front of a woman. As my father’s word crept through my mind, my pure unrivalled rage subverted and became malformed as sadness. I will never see my dad again, nor my mum, or my sister. Never again will I see their smiling faces, or dad’s determined gaze as he worked on the family farm, or become entranced as the smell of my mum’s cooking as it wafted up through the house, or be punched in the arm by my five minutes earlier twin sister because she was huffy that I beat her in a running race. A tear sneaked out of my eye from the memories, all of that was gone now. It was taken away from me, but no matter how I place it… No matter how much I hate this pony for doing this to me… No matter how angry I was that I was forcibly removed from my home… It was still an accident. As I came down from my blast of rage and sadness, I slowly came to my senses. I fell to my knees and reopened my eyes. I noticed that the little purple pony that summoned me here was very much afraid and scared for her life. Though, through her veiled panic she managed to erect a small bubble like thing around her and the little dude dragon. She was balled up and I heard the telltale sounds of a girl sobbing in fear and regret. I sighed mournfully as I came down from my adrenaline high. I had to look at the positives now, I had to find some form of light in this dark twist of events. I left my family behind… No. I don’t have to deal with my sister any more… No. I don’t have to deal with those pesky teenagers in town anymore… Better, but, no. I don’t have any school work to do anymore… I suppose that’s nice. I’m on a different world… Yes? that’s good I think? I’ve always wanted to explore… Yes. I can do what ever I want now… Yes. I am free now, I don’t have any obligations, responsibilities or worries, I have nothing to trouble me anymore… Yes, this is it. I am free, free from the confines of society, no one telling me what’s right or wrong, no one telling me what not to do. This is the first time in my life that I am truly free… … It feels alright. I breathed in, then exhaled all of my fury in one continuous slow breath. I was calm now, I had reason to be calm. I was silent for a good minute, before I fell down on the floor to sit. I laughed softly, “I’m in a new world for less than thirty minutes and I’ve already made someone cry…” I put my head in my hands and sighed, “Jesus.” “Yeah bro, not cool,” Spike said as he consoled the grape-flavoured magician pony. I gave an exhausted smile. Dude’s awesome like that. “Sorry man, I can get pretty horrific panic attacks if I’m not careful. This was example A.” I sighed again as I leaned back to lay on the ground. Panic attacks this furious always leave me drained, I have never hurt anybody whilst my mind was clouded by an attack, but I almost did, it’s the main reason why I was dumped by Lizzy after all, and I haven’t forgiven myself for it since. Whilst in my placid state, I decided to actually look around. I was in some kind of stone room, with some form of technology all beeping and scratching around me, how I didn’t notice that before was beyond me. The ground that was immediately below me was covered in some chalk-like substance, it was drawn in some kind of rune, but it was ruined with my stomping before. There wasn’t much more to say about the room I was in, it was dark, the only light coming from a lantern hanging from the ceiling. The room was void of anything else stereo-typical of a laboratory. There was a staircase behind the grape-flavoured pony that lead up to a wooden door. Not much to say really, aside from the obvious apology. I closed my eyes as I sighed one last time, “I’m sorry,” I said into the air. The crying softened before choking silent, I didn’t see anything else, but I heard movement. I then felt my arms and legs be covered in a hard tingling sensation that prevented their movement, I looked at them and they appeared to be shackles made out of grape-flavoured glass. “Apology accepted,” she forced back a sob. “Subject Fericious appears subject to panic attacks,” she croaked slightly, as the little awesome dude scurried to pick up his earlier abandoned scroll and quill to keep writing the grape’s dictation, “I am uncertain if this is a common trait of the entire Human Species, but he is currently too dangerous to be let free in society.” I sighed for a third time, I could practically feel her forlornness in the air. “I’m sorry Fericious but I can’t let you out until I get approval from the Princess. Spike, after you sign off on the report, send it to the Princess, along with a message to request her presence.” “Oki-doki!” I heard the sounds of paper ripping before more frantic scribbling. Then, for some strange reason, I heard, felt and smelled the paper burning. “Did you just burn that report?” I asked, bewildered, from my place on the ground. “Oh don’t worry, that’s just how Spike sends letters to the Princess, I should get a reply soon.” Well that about sums up everything ever. I should have reacted more harshly at that but I’ve realised that at that point I didn’t have the required amount of bothers to give a damn. I simply responded, “So he’s the male mail dragon… Funny,” the earlier tables were turned when Twilight giggled as Spike huffed. “If you don’t mind me asking,” Twilight began after a bout of silence, “how do you know what dragons are, but nothing about ponies? It seems unlikely that you’d know about one but not the other.” “Oh, we have ponies and horses where I come from, but none so animated or so very purple as you,” she pursed her lips at that, “I was more surprised at the dragon, as he is part of mystic lore where I’m from. Medieval fairy tales and what not. It’s just hard to believe that a being fabled to be so massive and oppressive can be as small and docile as Spike over here,” still, dude’s awesome, “I can’t wait to see one that’s all huge and oppressive.” “Still, you also seemed more surprised over the fact that I am purple, and not that I’m a unicorn, more mystic lore where you’re from?” “You betcha’,” actually, now that I think about it, I had a question to ask, “You said you were summoning the most dangerous creature here,” she flinched slightly as I brought back the sad memory of the earlier conflict, “This isn’t a very big room, what would have you done if what you summoned was the size of a mountain, or could break free of your magic?” She blinked, “You know, I didn’t really think of that… But the spell was designed to bring a weakened member here, if the species could do those things then it would have brought a wounded, ill or baby specimen here,” she seemed to think for a moment, “You don’t look wounded or sound ill… Are you a child of your species?” What a weird question, surely she could tell by my manly voice and magnificent complexion that I wasn’t, “No, not really, I am seventeen years old at the moment, my species originally lived to be only about twenty years old in the dark ages, but with the development of survival tools, and medicinal advances, we have people living to be over one hundred years old,” so I’m almost a fifth of my people’s age, that’s not too young is it? Still, I had one more thing to prove my manhood… time to mention puberty… joy, “the main development stage for humans, puberty, begins at around twelve to fifteen for males and continues until about twenty years old,” here it goes, “it is the time when humans go through primary sexual development, it’s also when the most growth and ‘fine tuning’ happens for our motor controls and skeleton. The human finishes full development by twenty five, when the brain finishes maturing.” Talking about puberty is icky. “Spike did you get that down?” Twilight said almost robotically, and I hope he did, as I am not repeating that spiel again. “The report is on it’s way to Princess Celestia, I don’t think I could if I wanted to,” he looked away, and continued quietly, “I wouldn’t do it even if you wanted me to.” Dude’s awesome like that. “There’s that word again, Princess, is it a monarchal society here?” “Diarchal technically,” Spike cut in before the grape-flavoured pony could answer. “Then don’t you have a King or Queen? Or is this Princess spearheading this operation?” She looked at me confused, “Equestria has never had a King or Queen, such oppression is subverted by the princesses.” I was about to ask more about this, before little awesome dragon dude interrupted us with an almighty burp of fire, fury and righteous awesomeness. It was honestly the most epic thing that I will ever have the privilege to bare witness to, and it was at that very moment when everything was alright in the world. “I’m not going to lie, that was epic,” I laughed from my place on the floor. Spike tore the page out of the air with practiced finesse and gave a little bow where I could see it. Me and him are going to be best buds, I just know it. He ripped the seal off and recited the words on the parchment. He cleared his throat, “My dearest Twilight, you should know better than to play with dangerous magic, especially with nopony else knowing what you’re doing! What if something had gone wrong? You do have every right to pick and choose what you research, but in the future, please come to me for advice before attempting an experiment like this. Now, I trust your judgment in dealing with this creature. If he is as dangerous as you say he is, I suggest getting your friends together in case he tries to hurt you or escape. Unfortunately, at this moment I am predisposed, otherwise I would have teleported right away when I read the request. Just be careful Twilight, I have every trust in your decisions. Your teacher, Princess Celestia,” his recital finished, Spike rolled up the scroll and looked at Twilight. Twilight looked to be in thought, after a few seconds she sighed and looked towards Spike, “As always, the Princess is the one who thinks, Spike, go and grab Rainbow Dash, tell her to get Applejack and meet me here, then go and get Fluttershy. Tell all of them that it’s an emergency, but don’t give them details. Just say to hurry, and only get them.” “Fluttershy? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He asked. “Trust me Spike, Go on,” she affirmed, then off the little dude went on his mighty quest, she looked at me with a sudden determined glint in her eye, “Now, Fericious, tell me why I shouldn’t leave you here, on the floor, restrained, until you are too weak to do any harm.” I responded without any sense of my joviality, “Because if you do, you’ve no chance for my forgiveness.” She sighed, “I wasn’t going to anyway, it’s not that I don’t trust you, actually no, I kind of don’t,” preaching to the choir there hun, “but I will never be able to forgive myself if any harm came to my friends. Just, don’t talk for now, I’ll decide if we are all safe enough for you to be let go when they get here… Don’t talk to them either, until I tell you it’s okay.” I nodded my head, or rather put my chin to my collar bone and let it fall again, “The floor is cold,” I wined to the air. Bare stone against bare back is really cold. “Oh, cry baby, they shouldn’t be long. Actually, Fericious, is there anything else that I should know?” “Other then I have a perchance to suffer from a panic attack, not much,” I am not going to mention my red-belt, I just think that I should have that leg up if I was in danger from these guys. I might tell them if I trusted them more but as it stands now, it hides with my actual name. Then I thought for a moment, “Oh yeah, I really, really do not want to take my pants off, it’s a massive faux pas where I’m from. So don’t do it.” “It’s a good thing I didn’t summon Rarity then,” she paused when she noticed my piercing glare, “sorry, poor choice in words.” “Too bloody right, mate,” I think that was the hardest Aussie swagger I could possibly show, and most likely ever will show. “Right, sorry, now keep quiet, I want to see what the others think without bias of your words, I want to hear their judgement first before you speak. As a standpoint as to how you would be received by the rest of Ponyville.” “Fair enough.” I had my eyes closed for a while, and I think I actually fell asleep, it wasn’t long before I heard the dampened sounds of a door slamming open in the room above, immediately followed was a muffled voice, “Twilight, what’s wrong!” The pony in question stood and made for the door, “I’m in here girls! And there is not much of a problem… yet,” I barely heard the last remark as she lead them into the lab. “Twiligh’? Is that there critter giving ya’ a hard time, it doesn’t look like it to me, it looks like you’ve got it trussed up real tight,” came an absurdly southern-american voice from the stairs. I would have looked up at them but I didn’t want to make my lucidity known just yet, so I kept still as I heard the sounds of clippity-cloppiting of three ponies making their way down the stairs. “Yeah Twi, what’s the problem? If it’s that thing on the ground then it doesn’t look so tough.” I felt a repeated gust of air on my face and chest, and I very much wanted to know what it was, so I opened my eyes, “Woah!” yelled a very colourful pony as she somehow flew away, don’t tell me, they have pegasi here as well? Well why not, next thing you’ll be telling me that there are griffons or something like that out there. I looked at her and I was about to say, ‘hello… you’re blue…’ as a stunning representation of my magnificent brilliance, but decided against it. Instead I smiled softly, wisely deciding to keep my mouth shut. No matter how disarming a smile can be, canines are canines. Since I knew my cover of sleeping was blown I moved my head up to get a look at my new audience. The one from before, Rainbow Dash by the looks of things, had just landed next to her friends. Ahem, she had a very blue body that was accented by two big and very blue wings, her mane and tail were very rainbow and her eyes were very magenta, I have a nickname for this pony, from now on I will refer to her in passing as Skittle-Flavoured, because I can. Not that I’d ever say it out loud mind you. And yes, I am going to write this again for the very orange pony sitting next to her. As I said, she was a very orange pony with a very yellow mane and very green eyes, she had no other discerning features like wings or a horn, but rather she sported a very big stetson. I’m okay with this, stetsons are cool. From a method of elimination I had to choose between naming her Fluttershy or Applejack, most likely the latter as it looked like she had a trio of apples stamped on her flanks. That’s odd, now that I’ve seen that, I noticed that the grape-flavoured pony had a star stamped on her flank, and Skittles had a picture of a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt under it. Heh, it seems animals brand themselves now. Wow, what a dark thought. “Aww, it doesn’t look so scary to me,” Skittle-flavoured remarked with an extra dose of brashness, “In fact it looks harmless, no claws, no fangs, no obvious muscles. I don’t know why you need us here at all Twi. Did it eat one of your books?” She and ‘Applejack’ stifled a giggle, as Twilight just scoffed. My smile was replaced with an annoyed frown, but then quickly evened out, I had to keep up my shroud of ignorance after all. Instead I just sniffed the air and had my head fall to the floor. That was stupid. I forgot that stone was very hard and usually hurt if you hit it. I scrunched up my face in pain as Skittles and Applejack laughed at my misfortune. I could feel Twilight roll her eyes, it was that palpable, “Looks can be deceiving Rainbow,” Twilight piked up, defending my masculinity, “there is something about him that I can’t trust.” “Ah know what you mean,” the very orange pony responded, “something about him just seems… off to me. Giving me a bad vibe is all… Fluttershy has tonnes of experience dealing with these sort of critters, maybe when she gets here, we can ask her what she thinks.” “Good thinking, Applejack,” Twilight affirmed, now began the wait for the one called Fluttershy and Spike to come back. Hang on, I haven’t given Applejack a nickname yet have I? Oh well, I will do the thing when I think of it later. Not much happened before the arrival of Spike and Fluttershy. Spike entered with a standard “We’re back!” but Fluttershy decided to live up to her name and enter without a sound. Well, now, this pony was very yellow, and she had very yellow wings that look more lithe than Skittle’s and she had a very pink flowing mane that fell to just above her very yellow hoovsies. I have a nickname for this pony, from this moment onwards I will refer to her in passing as, Banana-Flavoured, not that I’d say that out loud mind you. She took one look at me and as soon as her very blue eyes met mine she looked away and continued down the stairs without glancing my way again. “Oh good, yer here, Fluttershy what do y’all think about this here critter? Have y’all seen anythin’ like it before?” “He scares me,” she said into her mane, well thank you there little one, that’s a very good way to help my ego out. “It doesn’t take much to do that,” Skittle-Flavoured whispered to Applejack which made her give off a small chuckle. Without pulling any mention to it, Twilight motioned for Fluttershy to continue, “there is something about him that just seems unnatural, like he’s not supposed to be here,” preaching to the choir and the crowd there little one, “I have never seen anything that’s just like him, but he bares resemblance to the monkeys in white-tail woods. If he hasn’t done anything wrong so far, then why is he tied up? His eyes give off the presence of intelligence, and I think that he at least deserves a chance.” Her voice was so very soft and silky, as if she was whispering every thing she said, she had me almost mesmerised until she called me up for being intelligent. That was an amazing shot in the dark if I do say so myself, it probably had something to do with how still I was keeping myself. A wild animal was stuck like this would be trying to break free at any time. GG Banana-flavoured, GG. “I agree,” said Twilight, “he hasn’t done anything wrong. I think we all remember how we took to Zecora, the only thing she did wrong was look strange,” they all shared an abashed look with one another, whoever this Zecora bloke/sheila is, “however, I haven’t been completely honest with you all. Fluttershy was right, our… guest, I suppose, is intelligent and can speak,” amidst their looks, she continued, “Fericious, tell them who you are.” I smiled, and decided to play a little game. In the most gravelly and unintelligible speech I could fathom I said in broken English, “Ferissy. Speak. Human. I. Come. From. A. Land. Down. Under-” I couldn’t hold it in any further, it was Twilight’s look of utter astonishment and Rainbow’s look of severe bewilderment that set me off. After a solid ten seconds of laughter from me, I decided to cut the act, “Sorry, I just couldn’t pass it up. You should have seen the look on Rainbow’s face, Priceless! Anyway, my name is Fericious, and I, am an alien. I am from a likely distant planet called Earth, Twilight here summoned me in an attempt to study the most dangerous creature alive to find a way to protect pony-kind from anything. The spell didn’t work as planned and it ripped me from my world and she was no way of sending me back. It was an accident, I know, but she still tore me from bed,” I only now realised how tired I was. The panic attack from earlier, mixed with the lack of sleep from the night previous and the nap I had before the other ponies arrived here all compounded in one mighty yawn that broke my speech, adrenaline is one hell of a drug, “As you can probably tell, I am very tired right now and I only have my pants on me and nothing else, so as I am now, I am completely harmless” the red-belt in ninjutsu notwithstanding, “as Fluttershy said before, everything at least deserves a chance.” There was silence for a few moments, before Applejack looked towards Twilight and spoke up, “Ya know, sugar cube, he’s right, if what he said is true then ah can’t rightly abide when he’s tied up wrongly like this. T’ain’t fair in the slightest.” “Aj’s right,” Rainbow confirmed, “I say let him go, ‘sides, if he tries anything then I know for sure that I can take him down before he can hurt anypony.” We’ll see about that Skittles, we will see. Fluttershy just nodded and smiled, content that her friends all agreed that I should have a chance. “But,” Applejack interrupted Twilight as she was about to say something, “I want to know how he got here, he said that he’s an alien from another world, and that it was an accident, but what actually happened?” Twilight nodded and stayed silent for a few seconds as she pieced the story together in her mind. She then recounted the tense few minutes of my entrance into this world, rightly not mentioning the panic attack I suffered earlier, in favour of me.   She finished with, “I don’t feel right about keeping him here like this, yet I don’t feel right about letting him go, the spell was designed to summon to most dangerous creature alive, should we really risk letting him run free?” “We could leash him,” Skittle-Flavoured piped up, everyone, especially me, gave her a glare that could melt steel, Fluttershy more so than the others, probably due to the fact that she couldn’t stand an intelligent creature treated like anything but one, either that, or she really doesn’t like leashes, “Never mind.” “I don’t know about you lot, but I really don’t want to be leashed. I already said I’m harmless,” relatively, “if you all don’t trust me now,” I said especially having my gaze fall upon the grape-flavoured pony, “then I’d doubt you ever would.” the deliberative sound of contemplative silence returned once more as they all thought of a way forward. “I think,” Twilight lied… ZING! “that we should all consider this away from him,” Twilight nodded in my direction, “if he does have a corrupting or charming influence on us, then I think that decisions should be made away from him.” Charming? Well, you don’t sound that bad yourself hun, “Spike, watch him, if he starts breaking away, then make as much noise as possible, and we’ll be there to help right away.” With that final remark, the group of disbelievers, or rather, the believers and Twilight, left me to my own thoughts. Or I would be if I had forgotten that Spike was in the room. “Give it to me straight dude,” impossible, but still, “how long have I got to live?” I asked him. “Eh, I wouldn’t worry about them, they are pretty friendly if a bit slow to trust. Besides, the ponies in this town would sooner run away from you than outright attack on sight. It’s more a matter of when Twilight will let you go than a matter of if, so yeah, knowing her, she’d probably pick up a few books and you could be here all night.” “Joy,” I sighed. “Why don’t you tell me about you humans to pass the time, I wanna know about those ‘air-o-planes’ and ‘carts’ you mentioned earlier.” “I don’t see why not,” I then went into a rant about human inventions and how we travelled, boat, car, bike, rollerblades, planes, you name it, I also talked about human leadership and democracy and all that, I didn’t know much about it but it was a topic for discussion at school, so I knew a bit. He seemed interested in the invention sections, but quickly shushed me when I spoke about politics, because seriously, who likes politics? We waited the return and decision of my fate, it wasn’t long until the door to the main section opened and in walked a resolute salad of Bananas, Grapes, Skittles and Applejack… I seriously need to think of a flavour for her. Anyway, Applejack and Rainbow had very determined looks in their faces, where Twilight looked resigned and Fluttershy looked indifferent, at least I thought so, it’s hard to tell with these ponies. I would most likely guess that the conversation opened with Twilight giving her friends all the reasons why I should become a museum exhibit, and her friends all precisely and effectively shot down each and every one of her arguments. “Don’t make any sudden movements,” Twilight warned. Little did she know, I planned to do the exact opposite of what she’d said. My earlier mention of my training in Ninjutsu had me prepared for situations when I would be immobilised for long periods of time, the tip is to tense and then relax your muscles constantly to make sure the flow of blood continues in your system and it stays ready, kind of like why a cat purrs. This made sure that I was ready for my next very sudden movement. As soon as I felt the hard magical constructs recede from my arms and legs, I raised my legs up fast enough that I could lean on the nape of my neck, I then twisted my legs to the right and bent my back in a way that would make my legs falling bring up my upper body, the last motion was to propel myself off the ground with my hands to give myself enough air to land on my legs properly and stand up fully finishing with spin. It was probably the most sudden and quick movement that I could have possibly done in this situation. I finished with a spin and a flair, “tah-dah!” I announced as I landed on my feet. All I needed was a top hat, suit and a cane and the image would have been complete, why? Because being a badass gentleman is probably the coolest thing in existence. I looked down to my captive audience (see what I did there?) to gauge their reactions, they didn’t take to it kindly as per my expectations. Twilight’s very purple horn was glowing very purple, Dash was already in the air in a combat stance (combat hover?), Applejack had a length of rope in her mouth - where she got it out from I still have no idea - and Fluttershy backed up and looked at me in fear. She looked so little, in fact they all looked so little. It was then I realised just how tall I was compared to them. I know that Australians have a taller frame in general but these ponies were just short, I towered about a meter above the ponies, and an extra half a meter over Spike. “I just said no sudden movements!” Twilight stomped as her horn died down. “Hey! that’s just how I usually get up!” No it isn’t. I just wanted to put on a show. “It’s effective, Ah’ll give ya that,” Applejack said as she put her rope behind her, just behind her, and it disappeared. I stared astonished at the magical disappearing act for a bit before Spike broke the silence. “That was awesome!” he giddily remarked, I gave a bow at my stunning display of fineness. “Yeah, it was kind of cool,” Rainbow stated, ever cocky with herself, she landed soon after. She also had a smirk on her features despite herself. “Just don’t pull those kinds of things again,” Twilight warned, ever serious. “No guarantees there Twilight,” I smiled with devious intent. She was not amused, still, she lead Fluttershy and Spike up to the main room, with me following them and Rainbow Dash and Applejack behind me, I knew for a fact that the back of my head was in ashes with how hard Rainbow Dash and Applejack were watching me from behind. I’m sure they got a good view, the back of my head is fabulous. We reached the main part of the building, the library, as I had been told, and how blatantly it was obviously a library. All the furniture was made of wood, there was a table in the centre with a wooden ornament of a unicorn head resting on it, the were a few strange chairs around it and space for ponies to read the books they picked out, which were all around us. Twilight intruded on my examining silence, “there’s still the matter of what to do with you now that I’ve released you. We can’t let you into Ponyville proper yet, because I fear the ponies here won’t take so well to you. I propose that you stay with me for the night until we figure out a better plan.” “Absolutely not Twi’,” Applejack interjected, “If this here Fericious is supposed to be the most dangerous critter alive, then is it really a smart idea ta’ keep him in the centre of town?” You raise a very persuasive argument there Applejack… I really need to think of a flavour for her, seriously, “We could hold him up in the barn for safe keeping.” “I’m afraid not Applejack, as you said, he is dangerous, and with all those tools at your barn available to him it would only make him even more so. I really don’t want to leave him with any means to hurt any pony and escape.” “Hey,” it was my turn to be offended, “If I wanted to hurt you and get away then I would have done it already, all I’d have to do is push Rainbow’s arrogance far enough that she would attack me. I would then force her into a wall to knock her out, in the same motion I’d throw Spike into Twilight hard enough that you’d both be incapacitated or at least distracted, then I can be sure that Applejack here would use that rope of hers to try and capture me, but I would grab it mid-flight and twist it around in her mouth so it would wrap harmlessly around her neck, then I’d pull it and flip her around. As she sailed towards me, or I towards her, I would tackle her to the floor. I would then hog tie her up when she’s dazed so she couldn’t move. Then I’d glare harshly at Fluttershy to scare her stiff and knock her down for the count. All that’s left would be for me to simply walk out because all of you would be unable to do anything about it,” I crossed my arms and looked smug, “But hopefully, it won’t have to come to that.” I looked upon my varied reactions, Twilight looked ready to put me back in restraints, Applejack felt that she should defend her friends, Spike just looked at me in awe (Dude’s awesome like that), Rainbow Dash probably wanted to test my theory, and Fluttershy visibly paled. Rainbow Dash had the fasted recovering reaction, she flew up to me and hovered right in my face, “You wanna test that out pal?!” “You would have to start it,” I said calmly. Apart to my expectations, she didn’t start swinging hooves, she instead smiled darkly as the infernal candle inside her mind lit up with a pitch black idea. “Hey Twilight!” She said, looking towards the grape-flavoured pony, who in turn looked towards her with a worried expression, “Why don’t you cast that cloud walking spell on him and he could bunk up in my place, if he causes any trouble, then I won’t mind having an extra ventilation hole in my floor,” she says that like she lives with her head in the clouds or something, I wouldn’t be surprised, wait, cloud walking spell? That can only end well for me. “You know…” Grape-flavoured darkness filled her dark purple face as she smiled darkly as Skittle’s dark idea flooded her mind making her grape-flavoured mind unusually dark, “that’s not such a bad idea.” “If that horn lights up, then I’m diving out the window,” I casually warned. “Lights up?” Twilight asked, I was about to continue with my observations before Spike cut in with a logical answer, have I ever said how awesome that little dude is? “Guys, simmer down! It’s the middle of the day, ponies are all out and about, so moving him would be way too risky!” and then the tension in the room promptly vanishes in a puff of logic, “He should just stay here with Twilight and I, we have a spare bed anyhow.” I might have mentioned this before, maybe, but… Dude’s awesome like that. “I suppose you’re right Spike, if anypony does see him, there would be a lot of panic and unwanted questions. Both plans however, are good possibilities for later, if we need them, but for now they wouldn’t quite work. We should just leave him here and hope he sticks to his word.” I smiled happily and uncrossed my arms. “However,” good feeling gone, “I wouldn’t mind the extra company and security,” she turned to her salad ensemble, “Fluttershy, you can go home if you want, I don’t want to push you into staying with him for longer than necessary, you haven’t been able to look at him without freezing up the entire time he was mobile.” the banana-flavoured pony in question looked to the floor and mumbled a quiet, “thank you,” before turning and making her way to the door. She froze before opening it, “No,” She turned to her friends and me before declaring her intentions, “I will stay with you, I know that he won’t hurt us so I have nothing to worry about…” she then paused her triumphant declaration to look away in shyness and paw (hoof?) at the ground, “If you don’t mind that is…” Twilight and her friends smiled at Fluttershy’s braveness, even I had to admit that I was impressed, she then turned to Skittles and Applejack, “Applejack, Rainbow Dash, I know that you both have pressing obligations that need to be attended to in the morning, but if staying the night here wouldn’t cut into your work too much then I would happily have the extra security.” Rainbow Dash and Applejack quickly added their determination to the mix as they made Twilight sure that they’d never abandon her, and that they are going to help watch over me. “Come on now ladies, there’s no need to go to this extent, I already said that I won’t do any damage unless you provoke me, and I make it a point to keep my word,” I told them, in an effort to dissuade such hostilities, but they all stared at me in the typical woman ‘hush male’ look. I guess things are just equal between realities, no matter how far you go. I said offhandedly to Spike, “Where I come from, there is a two step process to winning an argument with a woman, one, accept everything she says and two, don’t try to argue. It almost never works.” He burst out laughing and Rainbow smiled despite herself. I snapped my fingers in defeat, “Alright, alright. I have been defeated, watch me if you must. I see it will be a hard process to win your trust,” they looked annoyed by that comment but took it nonetheless. Before I went to sleep however I made two small requests, a blank book and something to write with. They were very readily on hand and it was no trouble getting them, I had a small problem with using the quill and inkwell set Twilight supplied at first but I quickly got the hang of it. I have this ability, I suppose, to be able to accurately remember everything that happened in the day, at the cost of not being able to remember the day previous very well, if you think about it, I have about 36 or so hours of memory banks available, and everything that’s not important gets written over with the input of new memory. It’s a significant part of being able to correctly and accurately write down and recollect the events that happened in the day. I am not sure how this condition works, but it could be that my neural paths in my mind have solid yet fickle connections with each other, they are able to be used often, but every new signal that passes through a provided pathway will overwrite and replace the previous neural data written and stored within the central memo- Okay, she’s gone now, I’d figured as such, Skittles just has no concept of privacy. Anyway, they are taking turns with watching me, and it’s taken 30 or so minutes to write this. It’s sort of a meditative process that really puts me to sleep. Anyway, I’m tired now, and I’ll continue writing this tomorrow. Maybe then I should become further accustomed to the world that I have been permanently moved to. Tomorrow, for now? Sleep. A note from your lord and ruler, Discord. “No, no, no,” I repeated as I paced around my eternal infinity, “this can’t be right. I was expecting someone else, he should have been at least six times more irritable than this!” In truth, I had planned that someone else would have taken the place of this ‘Fericious’ character. Sure he meets the requirements of ‘chaos puppet’, the only one being ‘human’, but he was suppose to be completely different! His ‘name’ should have started with an N for Me’s sake! No matter, this just means that I would have to take extra precautions for the future, one little hiccup like this can’t upset the balance of my plans. Everything has to go according to my plan that I set in place. Wait. Since when did I need a plan of all things? Better yet, why am I surprised at all that things didn’t go according to it? Ugh, I’m no good at this planning business. Whatever goes in the future goes, let’s just see if I don’t have a say in it. Everything will eventually go according to my plan, because after all… I said it will.