//------------------------------// // A Great and Powerful Nom // Story: Nom! // by Voreafillyia //------------------------------// thump thump thump Anon sat with his legs folded, his head leaned on his hand as he glared at the back of the orange mare in front of him. thump thump thump “You’re gonna love it at Sweet Apple Acres Anon! My family’s the most get-alonginest ponies you’ll ever meet!” thump thump thump Anon’s body jostled up and down as the apple cart he caught a ride on hit every single imperfection on the dirt road cutting through Ponyville. And there were lots imperfections. Anon’s gaze drifted to some of the ponies who walked near them. When they stopped to wave or noticed Anon, he scowled at them. lots of imperfections. The apple cart finally came to a stop in the marketplace. Anon scowled again. “What gives? I thought we were going back to your hick farm?” Applejack frowned. “Ah don’t know what that means, but it certainly don’t sound too friendly.” Anon huffed. “It means you and your family are hardworking, wealthy people who are honest in their trials and tribulations but pursue a simpler way of life.” Applejack brightened. “Oh! In that case, yes, mah family and ah are ‘hicks’!” Anon grinned. Ponies were so stupid. “And ta answer yer earlier question Anon, we need to make a living still, and I haven’t met the day’s quota yet.” She put up a sign near him that read ‘Apples, 2 bits’ “You’re kidding me?” Anon stood, jumping off the cart and onto the ground. “You got me out of Rarity’s just so you could drag me out here to sell apples with you?” Applejack moved the apples from her cart to a nearby unused stand. “Awh c’mon Anon, socializing will do y’all some good! It’s not like it’s gonna kill ya.” She smiled. Anon, on the other hand, deadpanned. “Are you kidding me? I’ve come closer to death since meeting you stupid ponies than any other time in my life!” Applejack sighed. “Anon, y’know they didn’t mean ta—” “They did! They so totally and completely did!” Thankfully, Anon hadn’t spent as nearly as much time inside of Pinkie as he had inside of Rainbow Dash. Shortly after waking up, Pinkie had rapidly and purposefully bounced over to Twilight’s. Much to the lament of the human trapped inside of her, who was shoved and tossed around with each jump. After Anon had gotten out, he’d learned that Pinkie actually wasn’t even under the influence of any sort of spell, and just ate him ‘because he tasted good.’ Anon promptly flipped her off and stormed back to Rarity’s. Who threw him out, because she’s a bitch. ...Okay, so it may be because she had a celebrity visiting from Canterlot, and she couldn’t have him ‘sulking about’ as she put it. Whatever, she was still a bitch. Having no place else to go, Anon was forced to ask the apple horse for lodging, much to his contempt. Their butchering of the english language was a crime, and he practically cringed every time they spoke. “Okay, so maybe Pinkie Pie did,” Applejack rolled her eyes. “but ya gotta understand Anon, that’s just Pinkie being Pinkie. She’s done weirder.” Anon deadpanned. “She’s done weirder than eat things alive?” Applejack stroked her chin. “Okay, maybe on second thought…” Anon waved a hand. “Whatever, just go get your apple selling done so we can get back to your home, I have some serious sulking to catch up on.” “Y’a’ll could at least try to make an effort at enjoying yerself, couldn’t ya?” Anon gasped. “And make myself seem like a considerate individual?! Are you kidding me?!” Applejack just snorted. “Ya’ll are pretty rude, most of the time.” “Exactly!” Anon grinned. “Now that we’ve established that, I’m going to find a nice quiet corner to sulk in while you finish your inane apple selling.” Anon wandered towards the town square. “Jes be careful!” Applejack called after him. “Inconsiderate er not, yer still small! Ponies ain’t gonna see ya’ before they squish you like a bug!” Applejack heard what sounded like a cross between a yell and a snarl, then settled down behind the counter, confident that Anon would be alright. She hoped. Anon waltzed through the streets, his constant scowling pronounced his presence to the ponies around him. They made sure to watch where they stepped, and even made an effort to be nice and say ‘hi’ to Anon. ‘effort’ being the key word here, as all they often received in return was a dirty glare, or the raising of Anon’s middle finger, a gesture they didn’t really understand. Anon sighed, wondering why all these ponies were so worried about his social interaction or his well being when he had made it clear, multiple times, that he simply wanted to be left alone. This only seemed to encourage their behavior, as Applejack and the rest of her friends constantly went out of their way to make sure he was well accommodated. It almost made Anon feel guilty for being so mean to them. Almost. “Fuck these ponies.” Anon sighed, then his brow knitted as he mulled over the words that had just left his mouth. “Definitely not like that…” A loud explosion caused him and several ponies in the area to flinch, the latter of the two lowering their ears against their heads. Anon glanced up in time to see something streak into the sky, then burst in another loud, explosive sound, followed by a light show hosting the entire color spectrum. “Come one! Come all! Come and witness the amazing magic, of the Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie!” The ‘r’ in the last word rolled, drawing out the title. Anon heard several ponies around him let out disgruntled mumbles. “Oh geez…” “Her again?” “I thought Twilight showed her up last time?” Someone who drew out disdain in the ponies simply by making a few fireworks and loud shouting? Who was this great master of deterrence, who could cause ponies to relent by the mere sound of her? He had to check this out! He didn’t have much of a choice, as he was herded along by the crowd of shuffling hooves as ponies made their way towards the sounds. ~~~~~~~Generic scene transition is a go~~~~~~ Trixie smirked as ponies filed in towards her stage by the dozens, then by the hundreds. No matter where she went, or how tarnished of a reputation she had, ponies always loved a good show. Trixie cleared her throat. “Now then, it has been a long time since Trixie has visited Ponyville last,” “It’s only been two weeks.” A mare with a poofy orange mane in the crowd spoke up. Trixie glared at her, and she sank back down into the crowd. “As Trixie was saying, it has been a considerable length of time since Ponyville has gone without Trixie’s magical finesse, and style.” She paused to pose as she said this, and earned several rolls of the eyes from the audience. “So Trixie would understand if a pony or two from the audience would request a repeat performance.” She paused to hear the cheers of her fans. Silence. A pony coughed. Trixie turned, pointing a hoof at the pony. “I know you would like to see my theatrics my fine stallion,” The stallion raised an eyebrow. “I only coughed.” Trixie ignored this, and put a hoof over her forehead and leaning backwards with her eyes closed, as if she were sad. “But alas, Trixie cannot.” Several cheers from the audience. “Trixie is here today for another reason.” This time, the ponies looked at one another and began murmuring. “Due to… diminishing returns on Trixie’s show, which she is sure is not the fault of some know it all unicorn, Trixie has been forced to take up a new career.” Trixie held her head high and closed her eyes, waiting for ponies to inquire what her new job was. After several seconds of silence, she figured they were all eagerly awaiting the reveal, and responded in kind. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has now become a Mythbuster!” The crowd began murmuring again. “What’s a mythbuster?” was the general question on everypony’s lips. “I am so glad you asked, you loveable ponies,” Trixie continued, beginning to pace the length of the stage. “a mythbuster is a pony who discerns whether or not the slightest myth, from even the most obscure rumors to the most towering of tales, is true, or a bust.” Trixie smirked. Silence again, before another pony spoke up. “So what does that have to do with you being here?” “Another fine question!” Trixie grinned. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has heard rumors circulating throughout Equestria lately, rumors about a certain town named,” Trixie’s face darkened. “Ponyville.” Several ponies gasped in shock. “The rumors have it that there is a delectable treat here, a treat so extraordinarily delicious that ponies cannot help but to try and consume it at the smallest taste.” Trixie stamped a hoof on stage. “Trixie determines that she will have this tantalizing treat, and the best way to go about that is to ask.” Trixie grinned again. “Where, Ponyville? Where is this delicious treat?” The ponies in the crowd looked at each other before fluidly stepping to the side, revealing a small and bite-sized human standing alone in the middle of the crowd. Anon glanced around. While he was happy that the ponies had decided to give him some personal space, he also noticed that he was the center of the attention of the blue mare on stage, and if everything he’d hear was just true, he was the treat she was talking about. Thanks a lot, ponies. “This?” Trixie jumped off stage, then trotted towards him. “This is the snack that satisfies the senses? The one that ponies cannot help but try and eat given the slightest taste?” Trixie leaned her head down level with Anon and glared at him. “Trixie does not think that you look like much, much less appetizing in any way.” For some reason that only the elder gods may understand, Anon felt compelled to defend his status as food. “Now wait a minute!” Anon marched towards Trixie, who backed up a few steps. “I’ll have you know that even the elements of harmony can’t resist me!” Trixie blew a raspberry. “You mean Twilight Sparkle and her gang of loser friends? Trixie is hardly impressed.” “You should be!” Anon retorted. “They said I was more satisfying than a glass of water on a hot summer day! Spicier than the dragon’s tongue flower only found in Zebrica! More soothing than the Midnight flower, which only grows under the brightest moon, and more filling than several bales of hay!” Anon crossed his arms, confident that he’d one this little self-proclaimed ‘contest’. He did. The ponies all around were staring at him intensely now, mouths watering. Anon looked around, realizing everything he’d just said and where he was. “Aw, crap.” Then it all fell into chaos. “Get him!” “I saw him first!” “That sounds delicious! I have to try!” “Get your own!” “He’s the only one!” “He is Trixie’s myth, The Great and Powerful Trixie will be the one to nom him!” Anon wasted no time in sprinting as every single pony in the crowd jumped towards him at the same time. He was able to get out of the way, causing all the ponies to land on each other in a massive pony pile. Anon sprinted through the marketplace, drawing the attention and confusion of several more ponies as Trixie broke from the pile of ponies and sprinted after him. “Get back here so that Trixie can do her job, treat!” “My name’s not treat!” Anon stopped at Applejack’s stand, turning to face Trixie as she galloped up close to him. She was panting. Applejack stood behind the counter, blinking in confusion. “Wha… Trixie! What are yah doin’ here?” “The Great and Powerful Trixie must have her Great and Powerful nom!” She grinned deviously and lit her horn. Anon moved, but the magic grasped ahold… ...of Applejack, as Anon ducked behind her. Applejack flailed in the air for a moment as she was levitated. Trixie had her eyes closed in a smug expression, so she did not see who she got ahold of as she levitated the object of her magic towards her mouth. Applejack collided with her, and the two ponies went down. Anon turned to run, only to be greeted with the crowd of ponies from earlier once more. A few pegasi in the air pointed at him. “There he is!” Anon barely had time for another dodge as the second pony pile of the day occurred, and Anon quickly sprinted down the street. As he fled, he heard the words that sent a chill down his spine. “The Great and Powerful trixie will have her Great and Powerful nom if it is the last thing Trixie does!”