"Extinguisher!" I screamed as I ran down the main hall towards the pillar where they'd installed one. "Fuck fuck fuck!" I did a little prance as I bled away my momentum. "Shit!" I took a sharp turn and found the bright red device strapped to a pillar. A maid was calmly dusting it. "Bitch move!"
The maid popped upright and stepped away as I slammed into the pillar and rolled towards the extinguisher. "Able? What hap--"
"Fire, dipshit!" I yanked the extinguisher away and started bolting back to the banners. "Fucking fuck my fuckity shit fuck!" My shoes squeaked as I ran, the marble floor deciding to make me sprint as comedic as possible. "Clown shoe fucking ah!" I ignored it and ran towards the flaming banner wafting around the room.
A match thrown in a planter had managed to start a fire and toss embers up to a banner. "Mother-- god damn it!" I fumbled with the extinguisher and looked down at it. "Oh what the fuck?!" I held it out, and all I could find was the pin. The levers were deformed into overly large hoof things. I looked up at the fiery banner waving overhead. "Fuck you fire! You prick!"
I let out a legitimately nervous groan and looked around. "Why am I the only one in here!? Medic! Medic!"
***
I watched from one of the halls, a few of my guards at my side. One scratched the floor. "Ma'am...shouldn't we help?"
I shook my head and pursed me lips. "No, let him squirm." I giggled gently and watched as the fire spread up the banner, Able completely unable to stop it. "No, I'm quite happy with this."
The guards peeked in at the fire. "Won't the castle--"
"Fireproof," I corrected. "After an accident where I got a little mad, I had it fireproofed." I looked down at my guards. "Did you know I actually had a moment where I was something like Nightmare Moon? I spat fire and almost burned the castle down."
The guards' eyes opened wide. "Ma'am?"
I smiled at them and shook my head. "Nothing my little ponies." I lowered my horn and gave each of them a quick tap on the head. The wobbled slightly before snapping back to. I cleared my throat. "Oh no, Able seems to have caught the castle on fire!"
The guards jumped to and bolted out into the main hall to help.
I turned around and started giggling. "Oh dear, that was mean. Feels good though."