I woke up feeling refreshed.
I stretched, reaching a back hoof to almost touch the end of the bed. I didn't quite reach, the wooden board tauntingly just out of reach.
Letting out a yawn longer than a two day snake, I forced my eyes to creep open. The brilliant light of the morning sun was streaming into the room from the window above me, striking my face with its warm glow.
Well that was odd, how come nopony came and woke me up? I gave another stretch, enjoying the rest I had gotten.
My eyes shot open again in a panic. I looked around the room. Not my room. The walls were bare, polished crystal. Did I stay the night at Twilights? If I had or hadn't didn't matter, seeing as apparently I did!
"Crabapples, I overslept!" I yelled out. Applejack and Big Macintosh were going to kill me!
I leapt out of bed, throwing the blanket to the floor. I checked my surroundings, checking to see if I had brought anything with me. I had apparently gotten drunk on a flask of cider, seeing as I had fallen asleep in somepony elses room. I could see a backpack leaning up beside the door, and some clothes there as well. On the shelves I saw a smattering of unfamiliar items, most of them looking like random junk.
So I had taken up somepony elses bed for the night. Was there anypony else staying at Twilights? I hadn't thought so, but obviously there was seeing as this room was recently used. I hope they managed to find another place to sleep, but it wasn't like there wasn't a surplus in Twilights castle.
I stopped in front of the mirror on the closet door, and gave my reflection a wide grin.
I posed and brushed my mane away from my eyes, "Well whomever's room this is, they can't feel bad about having a beautiful young mare like me sleeping in their bed, can they?~"
It had been an uneventful morning. Applejack had gotten up at the crow of the rooster, along with her brother to start the days chores. She had decided to let Applebloom sleep in, it was the weekend after all. It wasn't like there was that much to do, anyway. The tree's were almost bare of apples, an entire harvest neatly taken care of.
Big Mac had taken a load of produce to market, leaving her all on her lonesome. Just her, the trees, and the cool breeze whistling through the branches on high.
"Applejack!"
Applejack was jolted from her almost trance like state of work. It really was peaceful way to move the day along, just buck one tree, onto the next. Looking up the road, she was treated to an odd sight.
It was Wade, in his double body 'morph' thing. Making it so he looked like a cross between Applejack herself and her big brother. Applejack inspected 'his' body as he got ever closer, it really was uncanny. It was like the poster child 'what the buck' thought of if she and her brother ever-
"No! No no no! Ew, gross no," Applejack muttered to herself, shaking her head of her icky thoughts.
"What? Sorry, didn't catch that..." Wade said, coming closer and to a stop in front of her.
"Nothin', nothin worth repeatin' anyways. So what are you doin' here at," Applejack looked to the sky for the time, seeing the sun was almost completely overhead, "Lands sakes! Is it already that late?"
"I'm sorry sis!" Wade belted out, catching Applejack by surprise.
That certainly was odd. What was Wade up to, calling her that? He looked a bit out of breath, like he had run the entire way here. Well he certainly was trying to sell... whatever it was he was up to.
"Sis?" Applejack asked, probing for an answer. "What exactly do ya mean by that?"
"I... I musta fallen asleep at Twilights, I am so super sorry Applejack, please don't dock my allowance, I swear it was an accident!" he crowed, bowing his head as if in apology.
If Applejack had a piece of straw in her mouth, she would have chewed at it with a fervent vigor. As it stood, she chewed at her lip in contemplation. What in tarnation was Wade trying to pull?
"Yer... Ya left me in a bind, sis," Applejack said, playing along. If he wanted to continue such foolishness, who was she to question that? If she played her cards right, she'd be able to unload some work on him. It'd do him some good, getting a bit of excercise. He stayed in that silly castle all the livelong day, only coming out when he got bored. "D'ya have any idea how much work there's left to do? Ah thought ah was gonna have ta do it all mahself!" she said in a chastising tone.
"Ahm sorry!" Wade responded, still not lifting his head.
"Now, Ah won't allow no more of this foolishness, ah need ya to... to..." Applejack wracked her brain trying to think of a chore she knew Wade couldn't mess up. "Yall can move the barrels in the fields to the barn, there's a fair many of them an ah expected ya tah be helping with em earlier."
It wasn't lieing. It was... playing along? Yeah, playing along! Who was she to stomp on Wades fun, iffin he wanted to play up a joke like this?
"Ah'll get right on that!" Wade belted out, dashing off into the rows. As he turned away, Applejack saw... a cutiemark on his flank?!!? What in tarnation? It had been but a flash what she had seen, but it had looked like both hers and her brothers. Big Macintoshes green apple half, with her own three red apples on top of it.
Seems even Twilight was gettin in on the joke. There was nopony else who could possibly fake a cutie mark, so it was quite obvious. "Think ya kin pull the wool over mah eyes, do ya Twi? Well jokes on ya, ah wasn't born yesterday. Yer gonna have to do better then that if ya wanna get one up on me!"
Applejack turned towards town and set off at a canter. She'd been working all day to this point, might as well get lunch in town, unveil Twilights failure of a joke while she was at it.
Applejack allowed herself a wry grin, and a short laugh. Hoo-wee, how did Twilight ever think a joke like THAT was gonna work?
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Twilight said adamantly.
"Fess up missy, I like a good joke jes as much as the next pony, but yall been caught in the act!" Applejack pressed.
"I'm telling you the truth Applejack, I'm not involved in whatever you think is going on. Wade was asleep in his bed when I got up, and about half an hour ago he tore out of the castle like a thestral out of Tartarus. If he had a joke planned, he didn't mention anything to me," she assured her stout legged friend.
"He had a cutie mark, Twi. Whopony else but you could give somepony a fake cutiemark?"
"But... I can't do that Applejack, I already tried when your sister asked me to-" Twilight trailed off, a shocked look of disgust crossing Applejack's features. "I couldn't say no! She did the puppy dog eyes thing, I didn't have a choice!"
"Mmmhmm," Applejack grunted.
"Well... anyway. She asked me, way back when, right when I first came to Ponyville. I tried, and failed. It's impossible to fake a cutiemark. Is it possible he actually got one of his own, and decided to enact a joke based on the fact that nopony had seen it yet?" Twilight probed.
"Not unless his cutie mark ended up lookin like a mashup of mah cutiemark an mah brothers," Applejack firmly rebutted.
"Huh... maybe he painted it on?" Twilight supplied weakly.
"Can you do that?"
"There have been scattered cases of adding to a cutiemarks design, Princess Luna is a prime example. Of course that's a magic tattoo, supplemented by the cutie mark. If you try to paint on something, or even something as simple as a tattoo of a line, without the magic of the cutiemark being there initially whatever alterations you make will almost immediately disappear."
Applejack sat in silence for a few seconds, munching on the salad before her. "So how the hay did he do it? Iffin it can't be done without a cutiemark already being there, where does that leave us?" she asked, pondering.
"Well we could sit here theorizing on it, or we could just go ask the source!" Twilight declared, removing herself from her seat.
"Not till I'm done," Applejack stated, laying into her salad once more. At Twilights incredulous look, she swallowed, "What? I came all the way into town for a meal, I ain't leaving it half finished. That's jes plain rude to yer cook," she said with a wink, directed towards the dragon who up till this point had been content to remain quiet and 'let the girls talk'.
"Aw... it's just a little something I threw together," he said bashfully.
"And it was really good, c'mon, hurry up!" Twilight pressured, bouncing on her hooves.
Instead of 'hurrying up', Applejack instead lowered her head to her bowl. As sloooooooooooooooowly as she could. She took a single leaf of greenery. As sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowly as she could. She then started chewing it. As sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowly as she could.
"Aaaaagh," Twilight let out a low groan.
Applejack let herself have a small smile of success. Who said she couldn't have a bit of fun every once in a while?
"Wade? I haven't seen im," Applebloom steadfastly insisted.
"He was here jes a half hour ago, Bloom! He was wearin the skin of both me an Big Mac, bright red mare working in the orchard? Ya couldna missed her!" Applejack exclaimed.
"Ahm tellin ya I didn't see im, the only ponies I've seen so far today have been you, Twilight, Big Mac, and Pinkie Pie!" Applebloom declared, matching her sister word for word in determination.
"Pinkie Pie was here?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, but she was looking all down. Her hair was flatter than yours, Twilight," she replied.
"That's Wades morph!" Twilight triumphantly declared, "Flat hair? It had to have been him!"
Applebloom shook her head in dissent, "Nah, wasn't him. I thought at first it might be, but when I got a closer look I saw she had her own cutiemark. Wade can't copy that, can he?" she asked.
Twilight shook her head, mirroring Appleblooms. "I don't think so. Although that would be a remarkable improvement, if he suddenly gained the mastery over his ability to enable something like that. You're sure he wasn't wearing a sheet or something over his side, a small swathe of fabric he could have worn to make it look like he had a cutie mark?"
"Nope, I got an upclose look at her, she didn't have nuthin like that. Plus, she talked just like herself, even if her hair wasn't right. Now that yer back sis, can I go hang out with mah friends? I was thinking we could write her a card or something."
"Bake her a cupcake?" Twilight suggested. If Pinkie really was out of sorts, they'd have to do some major damage control.
"Good gosh no, not With Sweetiebelle," Applebloom hurriedly shot down the suggestion, "I dun know how, but that filly can burn orange juice. Goin round and flauntin that me and Scoots-"
"Scootaloo and I," Twilight corrected her.
"Scoots and I," she waited for Twilights nod of aproval, "Can cook. She can't. It'd be mean to rub it in her face like that."
"Not that this isn' faaaascinatin', but we should get back to the Wade thing, right?" Applejack pressed.
Twilight and Applebloom looked quizzically at her, until she finally broke down, "What? It's like a mystery, started right here down on mah farm!" she said happily. "Ah wanna get down to the bottom o' it, 'specially since its all been flaunted right in front o' my muzzle. Ahm interested, ya hear?"
Twilight gave a happy nod. A good mystery was always a pleasant way to exercise ones mind. To be able to share that with one of her friends was definitely sounding like a good day to spend with her friend.
"An go ahead Applebloom, be sure tah be back by dinner, ya hear?"
"Yay!" With that and a sudden cloud of kicked up dust, the excitable young filly was gone.
"So I guess we have to head back into Ponyville?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, seems a waste for this back and forth, but ah guess there aint nothing doing against it."
"So super duper sorry Twilight, but other Pinkie turned into Rarity and left just a few minutes ago!" Pinkie Pie chirped from behind the counter in Sugarcube Corner, passing food and drink over to paying customers.
"What? What do you mean, 'other Pinkie', Pinkie?" Twilight asked. "And she turned into Rarity, so it must have been Wade, right?"
"I..." Pinkie Pie paused, all activity in the shop dieing with her. Once she continued speaking again everything returned to normal. "I'm honestly not sure. I mean, in any other case I would definitely say 'Yes!' Yes right away and then you know me I'd keep pointing at him or something and with a sign and just keep pointing out that it was Wade. But... that was me," Pinkie Pie insisted. "She didn't have my hair, but she was just as happy as me, she had the same laugh, she knew everypony by name, she had my cutiemark, and she even knew the entire menu by heart. Wade didn't know the menu at all, so it couldn't have been him!"
Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin in thought. "Could she have been a changeling, running around as a prank? We haven't had one of them do that in a while, but it technically still isn't against the law..."
"Nope!" Pinkie Pie said dismissively. "I told you Twilight, she knew the WHOLE menu. NOPONY knows the full menu but me, not even Mr. and Mrs. Cake!"
"Well... did you at least see them transform? If it was a changeling it would have happened in a burst of flames, while Wade's morphing takes about a minute..."
"Weeeelllllllll," Pinkie pie started, a bashful look on her face as she tipped a ball of ice cream onto a cone for a young filly, "I didn't exactly see other Pinkie change. I looked away for like, a few seconds, ten at the most and when I looked back, shiny Rarity was standing where other Pinkie had been!"
"Shiny Rarity?" Twilight questioned.
"Yeah! You should see her, she's all super sparkly, just like when we saved the Crystal Empire!" Pinkie Pie crowed, flinging several cups and their contents to land on a table against the far wall, where they were quickly set upon by the foals sitting there.
"Does Wade even have a morph like that?" Twilight mused to herself. "I seem to remember him saying he had gained a Rarity morph, but he never said anything about it being a Crystal Empire version of her..."
"Well what're we still doin here? Do ya know where she went after she was here, Pinkie?"Applejack inquired.
"Oh! She said she had to go back to her shop, she was kinda confused about how she wound up 'back in ponyville' and she kept asking where somepony named 'Crystal' was."
"A Rarity that looks like she came from the Crystal Empire, asking after a pony named Crystal. Well that just makes everything as clear as... mud." Twilight groused.
"Well we know where she done went," Applejack declared, heading for the door. " So what're we still doin here? Oh wait, Pinkie, didja have any luck with that batch of candied cider? Big Mac wants tah know iffin the recipes ready to be integrated into the standard lineup for the fall."
"Sorry Jackie, the taste keeps coming out wrong. If at all possible, I'd like another two barrels if you can spare them."
"Guh. Fine, but Big Mac ain't gonna be happy about that. The less cider we store, the less will sit and grow, as he says." Applejack mimed.
"Tourquoise!"
"Add some lace!"
"It needs stitching, here, you see?"
"Oh yes, we can use this shade, it brings out the color something magnificent!"
"Oh Rarity you are such a dear!"
"Why thank you Rarity, you are quite a darling yourself!"
Twilight and Applejack stood watching this spectacle from the doorway, a trill of fear racing through their hearts. Nearly dancing throughout the room, the Two Rarity's darted back and forth, using their magic to augment the dress on the ponyquin residing in the middle of the room.
"Should we-" Applejack started.
"Better not," Twilight said decisively.
"Twilight! Applejack! Do come in, darlings!" came from both Rarity's, a stereo effect that cowed both Applejack and Twilight.
"Should... we come back later?" Applejack asked.
"No no no no no, we wouldn't think of it, would we Rarity?"
"No, never Rarity!" the other crowed back.
"We were just working on a project, pooling our mental resources."
"If you don't mind me asking," Twilight started.
"I do believe I am who you are looking for, Twilight?" the Rarity with a crystalline coat said, placing a swathe of fabric up against the dress, frowning when the change in light caused the colors to not match. "After reviewing information with Rarity here, I can safely say that this is indeed not my Ponyville. There's just too many discrepancies. Pinkie Pie isn't the owner of Sugarcube Corner, my sister apparently has a home away from home under my own roof, and nopony has even so much as heard of Crystal. It's quite obvious, if one simply thinks about it."
"Yes," Twilight clarified. "Were you also at Sweet Apple Acres earlier?"
"Can't say I was, darling. Last thing I remember, we were in the Crystal Empire. We had just defeated Sombra, Wade had recently left,"
"Wade! You know Wade?" Twilight asked, her mind racing.
"Why yes, Crystal called him using the strange box she had found in the library. He definitely cheered Crystal up, I think seeing someone of her own species was enough to put her heart at ease. Poor dear, can you imagine? Being stuck in a strange land, no way to get home, not a single face of your own species to let you know everythings going to be okay?"
Twilight felt a pang of understanding. Was that how it was for Wade? Never knowing if you were ever going to be able to see any of the race you had for the entirety of your life? Twilight resolved to double her efforts to get Wade home. If they could just figure out where he had disappeared off to. One mystery at a time.
"I... I think I can understand. Do you know how you got here? Or where the Pinkie Pie you replaced went?"
"Pinkie Pie? Oh yes, the dear did say something about there being another her. I can't confess any knowledge as to that, but I did wake up in the Sugarcube Corner, and apparently quite a few ponies claim to have seen 'a' Pinkie Pie turn into me." she let out a low huff, "So I have to take their words at face value. As to how I got here, I haven't the foggiest."
"Don't worry, we'll help you, won't we Twilight?" Their Rarity asked, throwing a pleading glance towards Twilight.
"Of course. We won't simply hang ya out tah dry-" Applejack started.
Hew words were cut off however, but a sparkling light coming from the new Rarities hindquarters stopped them all in their tracks. They all peered over to attain a better view, and watched in confusion as her cutie mark... shifted. It twisted and changed, slowly becoming that of Twilights own.
Before their very eyes, Rarity's coat and flesh twisted and melted.
"That's Wade's-" Applejack clamped a hoof down on Twilights muzzle, cutting her words off.
She continued to melt in upon herself, her coat quickly turning purple. Soon enough, standing before them was a lavender unicorn. It was Twilight, but without wings. She opened her eyes, noticing Rarity first.
"Rarity? Did it work?" she asked, circling around to look at her cutie mark. Upon seeing Rarity's cutiemark undisturbed, she clapped her hooves together giddily. "Yes yes yes yes yes! It actually worked! It-" Unicorn Twilight stopped, staring open gobbed at the alicorn version of herself standing in the doorway.
"Oh my gosh... she's me... before I ascended!" She said in a strained tone towards Applejack.
"How the hay? But that was Wade's morphing, wasn't it?" Applejack asked, "Sure, it looked a lot faster'n anythin I ever seen him do, but that was his stuff!"
"Applejack? What are you, Who is... is that me?" The new Twilight asked.
"Well," Twilight butted in, trying to explain, "You see, the thing is-"
"Oh fer lands sake, if yer the one explainin we'll be here all night, an' she'll have turned into a hundred other ponies by then!" Applejack burst out, surprising them all, "Short version. Yer a bloke named Wade. Wade has the ability tah transform into anypony jes by touching them. You've been livin' at Twilights for the past week, and somethin happened to ya today whats made yall go all loopy and have memories from all the ponies you've copied."
Twilight nodded her head in agreement. The logic was sound, although with that reasoning there was still the question of the mare Applejack had first encountered. As Applejack had described it, he had thought himself Applejacks sister. That didn't mesh with what Applejack had just described.
The new Twilight ruminated on Applejacks words, trying to make sense of it on her own. "I guess... that makes sense? Everypony is okay though, right? they got their cutie marks back? I'm not misremembering that?"
Twilight gave a curt nod, "Yes, Starswirls spell was successful, all of our friends were returned to normal... and then, well... I ascended and became an alicorn."
New Twilight walked forward, circling her to get a better view. "Those wings... are they comfortable?" she asked, standing in front of her. "You're taller than me."
Twilight giggled, noticing the height difference as well. "I've gained an inch or two... And at the start no, they were not. They have minds of their own, and like to stretch to their own volition. It's like trying to sleep with two little foals who like to kick you every couple minutes. Guess I have a little bit of extra experience when it finally comes to having foals of my own, though," she ended with a smile.
New Twilights eyes widened at the implications, and a slight blush flashed its way across her face. "So... what now? If I truly am this stallion named Wade-"
"Not quite a stallion," Applejack butted in.
New Twilight gave her a confused glance, "... Colt?" she ventured.
"Eeeenope," was Applejack's succinct reply.
"Well Wade is an odd name for a mare-"
"For crying out loud!" Twilight interrupted, "After all the fuss you gave me over wasting time? Wade is of a species called 'Human'. They resemble monkeys, but only barely. He is definitely a he, but as you yourself are evidence he has the ability to become female."
"So I'll ask again," New Twilight started, "If I am this... Wade, and am on the verge of becoming another overlying personality and form over this Wade at any point in time, what are we going to do about this?"
"What are yall suggestin?" Applejack asked.
"Well, if we were to trace... 'Wade's' comings and goings, we might be able to ascertain how this phenomena came to be. Backtrack along the steps he's made," New Twilight explained.
"The theory is sound," Twilight agreed, "And we already have a heap of information to go towards this goal. I think we should start back at my castle, if Applejack was the first pony to see him then it stands to reason that we should find something between there and Sweet Apple Acres. If anything at all. As it stands, we still don't know whats going on, if anything bad at all. For all we know this could be a natural cycle of his powers..."
"Wait, wait a minute. I have a castle?!" New Twilight asked with a hint of excitement tinged with unbelieving derision.
"Well with the library all blown up-"
"Applejack!" Twilight hissed, as her doppelgangers face went white.
"It's certainly... large," New Twilight remarked, looking at the open halls as the small group trouped through them.
"It was definitely a bit intimidating at the start, but this place has started to grow on me," Twilight admitted.
"A confusin mess of hallways, iffin ya ask me," Applejack supplied, looking around warily. At the very least the castle of the two sisters had been somewhat straightforward. This place was just an endless maze. Lands sakes knew she wouldn't brave these halls without an escort.
"We are going in the right direction, aren't we?"
"Of course!" Twilight responded jovially. "The guest room suite is right around the corner!"
They all turned said corner... to reveal yet another bland, featureless hallway filled with doors.
"Come on!" Twilight belted out, opening a seemingly random door and pushing through into the room beyond.
The room was rather plain, one bed, one desk, and a shelf. But scattered around the room was a plethora of unusual objects. Disproportionate clothes, that looked like they might be worn by a minotaur. A variety of nicknacks sprawled over the shelf. a backpack, leaning against the door.
"Okay... pardon me iffin I aint seein anythin out of the ordinary," Applejack groused.
"I'm not either," Twilight admitted, "I haven't been in here very often though, so this could be the result of one of his new tokens," she hypothesized, looking up at items littering the shelf.
"Tokens?" New Twilight asked, wandering over to the bed. Had she really lain here in a different form, with different memories in her head?
"Apparently Wade is a being known as a 'Displaced', somepony who has been torn from their own world and thrown across to another world entirely. These tokens," Twilight snatched one off of the shelf and levitated it over to her new double. "Are a creation by some of these Displaced to reach others in their same predicament. They supposedly use them to travel between the alternate Equestrias and render aid."
"That... is so..." New Twilight stopped, lifting the bedsheets from the bed.
"Poison Joke," Applejack exclaimed, her brow furrowing. "Shoulda known," she said, gesturing to the smattering of blue petals that had somehow found their way into Wades bedding. "But how the hay did it get here in the first place? Wade avoids the Everfree like the plague, there's no way he'd ever go far enough in to even find these."
"Discord," Twilight said in a dry, emotionless tone, her horn shining above her. "His magic is all over this room, and those flower petals to boot," she stated, lifting the remains of the flower and incinerating them in a quick motion. She magicked the ashes elsewhere, leaving no trace. "Probably thought it would be a hearty joke, poisoning Wade with such a thing."
"But this is easily remedied, right?" New Twilight asked. "I have an emergency supply of the cure back in my treehouse, we could just go get it really quick-"
"Gonna have ta stop ya there, Twi," Applejack said, holding up a hoof to avert her question. "The library was blown up, we already gone over this."
"Oh... right," New Twilights ears splayed, and Twilight had a moment of empathy as she fondly remembered the sturdy tree.
"It is still a good suggestion," Twilight rallied, trying to dispel the sudden feeling of melancholy. "I still have my own supply, and it shouldn't take us that long to draw up a bath for the cure."
"So... everything is ready now," Twilight said, trying to keep her irritation in check.
"Are you going to join me, miss Sparkle?" the creature asked in Big Mac's voice, a gleeful tone of innuendo in his lilt. Twilight blushed, trying to keep from ramming her hoof into Wades cheek. He had changed once more on the way to the bathroom after they had procured the cure, sending Applejack in a fluster of giggling mess.
He now appeared as some sort of Big Macintosh. A pseudo minotaur-ish version of him, but him nonetheless. He was absolutely shameless, not even bothering to hide his... generous growth swinging between his legs. From the start he had come on to Twilight, and even his own sister. He had seemed confused at their reluctance, as if to say 'no' was an oddity. He had continued his attempts as they made their way to the bathroom, drawn the bath, and mixed in the cure.
It was annoying in the extreme to Twilight, being constantly reminded at her own lack of a partner currently. And she couldn't just take him up on his offers, after he turned back into wade that would lead to nothing but uncomfortable situations.
"Yes! Yes I am!" Twilight shrewdly lied. "I just... want you to submerge yourself first! Yeah. I prefer it when my partner is all wet," she continued, mentally gagging at the acts she was insinuating. To do that with not only the personality of a being she had never met, but with a version of Big Macintosh? Out of the question. He was simply too good of a friend to betray his trust in this fashion.
"Well then, I better not waste any time," Wade said, lowering himself into the tub with a lecherous grin stretching his face.
"All the way under, make sure you get your mane wet," Twilight prodded, waving a hoof in his direction.
He gave her a wink, submerging himself under the water in a flurry of bubbles. After a couple seconds, he started thrashing in the tub, splashing water everywhere. He surfaced with a titanic blast of air, his flesh slowly shifting back to Wades normal form.
"Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffohl," he started, spitting out a gout of water. He started coughing, drawing in huge gulps of air. He stopped after a while, glaring at Twilight as she stifled a laugh. "Ha ha. You got me. Dump the sleeping guy in the tub to wake him up. Ha ha."
"Don't you remember anything?" Twilight asked, her surprise showing in her voice. "Anything at all? You've been running around all day under the influence of poison joke!"
"Poison... joke," Wade replied, incredulously, "Right. Riiiiiiiiight. "