A Squeaky Picnic

by CowgirlVK


Chapter 1

“YUCK!” Scootaloo cringed. “I don’t believe it!”

Apple Bloom’s body was tense. “Miss Cheerilee is rather excited about it, but ah ain’t so sure.” She sighed as the three Cutie Mark Crusaders walked side by side along the dusty road towards the school house.

“I think it’s sweet,” Sweetie giggled.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged glances. “The colts are going to be pulling OUR names from a hat, and then asking us out,” Scootaloo stated.

“I know! I wonder if they’ll trade names if they don’t like who they got,” Sweetie cooed.

“Ah don’t even want ta think about that,” Apple Bloom groaned.

“Really?” Sweetie asked. “I think it’ll be tons of fun!”

“To manipulate colts like your sister does?” Scootaloo asked skeptically. “Rainbow Dash is too cool for that.”

“Too cool for participating in Hearts and Hooves day?” Sweetie mocked.

“Gals!” Apple Bloom exclaimed before it could get any more out of hoof. “It’s just going ta be a single luncheon out in the middle of Ponyville-”

“We are going to have a picnic with a colt out in Ponyville park,” Sweetie Belle giggled.

Scootaloo flashed Sweetie a smug look. “I wonder what dining with Snips will be like?”

Sweetie Belle made a face. “Snips! Are you crazy?” She pretended to gag. “Snips and Snails both are gross.”

“Ah can agree with ya there. Ah just hope ah don’t get stuck with either one of them.” Apple Bloom shivered.

In the distance they heard the school bell ring. The three fillies groaned, but quickened their pace.

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“Good morning, Class!” Miss Cheerilee sang as the foals all filled in through the door and took their places in nice neat rows.

“As you all know, Hearts and Hooves day is at the end of this week.”

The three Crusaders exchanged glances.

“So, before we begin our studies this morning, I have an announcement. We will be having a picnic in the park. We will have this picnic like the big ponies do, with each colt taking a filly and enjoying the meal together. Please remember this is not a time to be silly, or ‘adult’ in any other way. We will just enjoy some good quality time. Now, colts, I’ve got, in this hat, every single one of the fillies names. After school, you will come and each pick a name from the hat and whomever you pull, you will be taking to the dinner.”

One of the students raised his hoof.

“Yes?” Cheerilee acknowledged.

“What if we don’t like who we pull?” he asked.

Cheerilee nodded. “Good question. I guess if you wish to trade, and it doesn’t turn into a scene, you may.”

Twist raised a hoof. “What if we don’t like the colt. Can we ditch them?”

Cheerilee raised both eyebrows, as several other fillies in the room nodded, or made other gestures indicating their want for the answer as well. “As with all dates, you can tell him no, in which case he has to go trade for a different card.”

Scootaloo raised a hoof. “So I guess we ought to just hang around the school yard ‘till we all are decided, right?”

Cheerilee chuckled. “If you wish to, but you don’t have to.”

Sweetie raised her hoof.

“Yes Sweetie Belle?”

“Does Rarity know you are doing this?”

The others in the room started snickering.

Cheerilee nodded. “I did inform all of your parents and siblings over the weekend. Pinkie Pie is already underway with getting everything prepared.”

The foals cheered.

Pipsqueak raised his hoof.

“Yes Pip?” Cheerilee asked.

“Can we kiss her at the end of the night?”

Cheerilee’s cheeks went bright pink. “Uh, no,” she croaked. “No, I do not think that would be a good idea.”

Several of the other colts moaned or made other signs of disappointment. The fillies made faces of disgust.

“Any more questions?”

Rumble raised his hoof. “Can we go cloud bashing when we’re done?”

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“But DARLING!” Rarity dramatically drawled. “Spikey wikey MUST attend!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “He’s a dragon—a baby dragon.”

“And if he doesn’t, he’ll be the only youngster in Ponyville without a date!”

Princess Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes. “Uh, huh.”

“Besides, darling, you do know that there is one more filly than there are colts! One of them is  going to be without a date!”

“And that would be the worst thing that ever happened,” Twilight sighed mockingly.

“Absolutely!” Rarity dramatized.

Twilight rolled her eyes again. “Spike is not going.”

“I’m not going where?” Spike asked, walking in wearing an apron and carrying a feather duster in his claw.

“To the schoolhouse this afternoon,” Twilight answered.

Spike paused, dropping the duster. “Why would I want to go to the schoolhouse this afternoon?” He glanced between the two mares.

Rarity smiled. “You see, Spikey Wikey, Cheerilee is holding a marvelous picnic on Hearts and Hooves day, and all the little fillies and colts are pairing up so they can have stupendous dates! The only problem is, there is one filly more than there are colts! One of those poor little fillies is going to be left out!”

“And Spike is not going to solve the dilemma!” Twilight snapped. “I’m certain at least one, if not more, of those fillies would rather just stay home and study that evening.”

Spike glanced between them. “Uh... yuck?” he said uncertainly. “Why would they want to go on dates?”

“Because Spikey! It’s fun!” Rarity giggled. “It stopped for unknown reasons when I was a filly, but I sure did enjoy going there.” She giggled again. “The last year, I got Thunderlane. He fell asleep halfway through the party! Oh, but my favorite was Caramel, remember him?” She giggled again, then continued before giving Twilight a chance to answer. “He was super clumsy!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I see. I’ll think about allowing Spike to attend the...”

“Drawing,” Rarity giggled.

“...drawing, but that’s not a promise. He has to want to.”

Rarity nodded, “Fair enough, Twilight. I must be back to my shop. Sweetie Belle can’t go without a fabulous new gown.”

Twilight groaned as Rarity skipped from the grand room in the castle that had been designated as the library.

Spike raised an eyebrow and placed both claws on his hips. “What is going on?”

Twilight sighed. “It seems that when Rarity and Cheerilee were little, the school had a picnic they did for Hearts and Hooves day. Something happened though, and it got canceled.”

“What?” Spike inquired.

Twilight shrugged. “Nopony will tell me. Now Miss Cheerilee wants to bring it back, including everypony else in town. The thing is, there is one more filly in the school than there are colts.”

Spike raised an eyebrow, shaking his head. “Yuck. Hanging out with those fillies is one thing, but taking one of them out to a picnic,” he made a face, “is quite another.”

Twilight nodded. “I’m not going; I have too much to do.”

Spike cocked his head to the side. “Oh really? Even if Shining brings along Flash Sentry when Cadence and he come down for Hearts and Hooves day?”

Twilight shot him a glare. “Spike! I’ll have enough to do just getting ready for their arrival! I don’t have time for anything else!”

Spike shook his head. “You're the Princess of Friendship, not the prisoner!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Very funny Spike.”

Spike tapped his foot. “That wasn’t a joke.”

She rolled her eyes. “Spike, I’m not interested in any of that. I’ve got work to do!”

Spike sighed. “Twi-”

“And we aren’t going to argue about it either. You go check that shelf. I need all Hearts and Hooves day books in a stack over there to be placed on the empty bookshelf by the door.”

Spike sighed. “Really, Twilight? This?”

“Do you want to shelf the library alphabetically by the last letter on the 100th page?”

Spike shook his head.

“Thought not. Having it shelved by the first letter is hard enough.”

Spike rolled his eyes, not commenting on Twilight’s weird way of shelving books. By this point, he was used to it. “I still think you should go.”

“With whom?” Twilight growled.

Spike shrugged. “At the very least, let your brother take you out.”

Twilight shook her head. “He’s married now. It just wouldn’t be right.”

Spike sighed.

“But...” Twilight smirked. “If you are so insistent on getting me a date-” She allowed him to make his own connections.

Spike’s face went from green to yellow, then to white. “Twilight! I’m too young!”

“And I’m too busy.”

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The two went through and sorted books for some time. The stacks grew larger and larger, and the shelves emptier and emptier. Twilight would quickly skim each of the books that she hadn't read before placing it on a teetering stack near the door. Spike, however, just kept pulling and placing.

Before he knew it, Spike was finished with his section long before his bookworm friend. “Uh... Twilight?” he asked, tapping her on the shoulder.

Twilight jumped, tossing the books in her magical grasp everywhere. “SPIKE!” she snapped.

“Uh... Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I’m done. Anything else you need me to do?”

Twilight looked around the large room. “I can’t think of anything at this moment,” she muttered. “You know what Spike? Rarity’s right. You could use the socialization and take one of those unfortunate fillies out.”

Spike groaned.

“Come on Spike, it’s one measly meal! How hard can it be?”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “I’ve heard that one before.”

“Just shut up and go have fun. Owlowiscious, go with him to make sure he gets there.”

Spike groaned as Twilight’s number two assistant landed beside him.

Owlowiscious twisted his head all the way around one direction, then the other. “Who?” he said.

“Me!” Spike snapped.

Twilight stifled a giggle. “Go have fun you two.”

Spike snorted. “I’m guessing he gets to go along on the date as well.”

“Only if you are too much of a baby to keep your claws to yourself,” she smirked.

Spike rolled his eyes, but escaped before Twilight got any more bright ideas.

Twilight, returning to her task, started picking up the books she had dropped when she had been startled. One by one she placed them on the stacks when one suddenly caught her eye. It was an older book. It had a black binding with an image of a large grey earth pony colt with a black mane and tail, and his cutie mark was a cow skull. From the picture, it was obvious it was an older colt in his adolescent years. “Stallion of the Family, By the Arista,” she read out loud. She bit her lip. “This sounds interesting.” She placed it in a different corner to read later, then returned to stacking books.

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Pinkie Pie was dancing in Sugar Cube Corner. “Are you excited? Because I’m excited! I’ve never been so excited!”

Mr. and Mrs. Cake dashed behind her, catching flower, sugar, and other kitchen odds and ends.

“A picnic! A town wide Hearts and Hooves picnic!” she giggled. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

The Cakes looked uneasy. “Yeah,” muttered Mr. Cake.

“We are going to need a party!” Pinkie glanced about. “The best, superdy duperdy party with the most awesomest stuff in all of Equestria! With... PINK!” she giggled, turning cartwheels that knocked two bottles of oil off a shelf, sending it careening to the floor and shattering upon impact. “You know what else we’ll need?”

The Cakes shook their heads worriedly.

“THINK CHEESE!”

They groaned.