Ice Crystals
Chapter 1: Torn
Rarity turned around and faced the stairs. Insignificant as they usually were, now they were an obstacle, one she wished to run away from. Each step was unnerving. Slower and slower she went till Rarity felt like she barely moved at all. She looked behind her for a moment, seeing the torn up pieces of fabric in the corner of her eyes, and continued down. That room was too painful to be in right now.
Gravity was the final say as she finally set foot on the ground level of her home.
The space never had felt so dark and unwelcoming.
Shadows lurked throughout the room, as the moon’s soft glow shone through the windows. Many of them danced with each other, like a ballet. Rarity soon found herself transfixed, but shook it away to focus on the task at hoof. This task was a shadow in particular that shifted upwards, before lying back down with a soft disappointing sigh.
“Rainbow Dash..?”
It came out of her so quietly, and made Fluttershy’s normal voice resemble that of a megaphone. Rarity cursed inwardly, and blew out a sigh of her own, gentle enough where it wouldn't be noticed.
“Rainbow Dash?”
Rarity received silence, but this was momentarily interrupted by a sniffle. She cautiously tip-toed towards the living room and spotted the mare in question, who sat alone on her sofa, one of her lamps dialed down to its lowest setting. The light was barely bright enough for the unicorn to make out anything but a patch of cyan fur and multicolored hair.
To her surprise, clutched in Rainbow’s hooves was a book unknown to her, and certainly not Daring Do from the cover art. Her brow furrowed as she squinted to read the title, the only visible word to her eyes being “love.” It was definitely a poetry book, and she was sure that Rainbow was using it as a distraction.
But why a book on love?
With each step becoming more daunting, Rarity slowly walked over and took a seat on the opposite end of the couch. Once comfy and relaxing, it couldn’t have felt more foreign to her, as if she was sitting in the middle of a train station full of unknown ponies. Instead, she sat next to the pony which she arguably knew best… or so she thought.
For a while, neither said a word to one another. The two mares sat in silence together, yet they couldn’t be farther apart. A thick fog of emotion blanketed the air between them, one Rarity was desperate to clear. Her mind screamed at her to do something, to run away and hide, to scream, just anything.
Hesitantly, Rarity cleared her throat.
“Rainbow, can we talk darling? I’m sorry, I went out of line,” she said, a noticeable croak to her voice, “You didn’t deserve any of what I said to you.”
The sound of pages flipping was all she heard as Rainbow took an eternity to close the book. She gingerly placed it on the coffee table, before returning to the same position. For the first time since the fight, Rarity saw her eyes, yet they refused to look in her direction.
Her first instinct was to flinch and hide from sight, yet Rarity remained stoic. She tried as hard as she could to remain approachable, which was a challenge in itself, especially to somepony that wanted no business in seeing her.
Rarity saw the hurt in Rainbow’s eyes. It manifested itself in a molten mixture of anger and sadness, one that remained hidden behind a façade. It was the same façade she knew Dash retreated to whenever her emotions nearly got the best of her; the one which Rarity tried to break her out of, unsuccessfully.
She waited patiently for a response of any kind, even if it was a simple shake of the head. With every passing second, her discomfort rose. Droplets of perspiration dotted her face and hooves as her entire body began to heat up; she swore that somepony had lit a fire right under her sofa that was feverously lapping at her flank.
Finally, Rainbow allowed her eyes to rest upon the unicorn’s own.
Together, they blinked and stared, not a single sound ushered from their lips as the boutique fell into a hushed silence. It was short lived, as Rainbow decided to nonchalantly hop up from the sofa. With an uncharacteristic turtle-like pace, she strode towards the front door. Rarity watched nervously as her marefriend opened her front door even slower, and wondered if Dash was toying with her.
Their eyes met again, only this time Rarity swore she was being beckoned to follow. But before she could even get up, the door closed with a muted slam. She remained in a trance, unsure of the right action she should take, if any at all.
Her thinking was interrupted by a loud meowing noise down near the front of the sofa. There Opal stood, the feline’s droopy olive eyes scanning the Rarity, as if sensing the confliction. Rarity sighed and scooped her up onto her lap, surprisingly without protest.
“Oh Opal, I most certainly screwed up monumentally haven’t I?” It simply purred in response. Rarity wasn’t sure if that was an answer, but deemed it as so.
“I suppose I should follow her… Celestia knows how she must feel right now. I just hope I can get her to speak to me, and give me a second to apologize.” Opal’s sarcastic meow caught her off guard. “Yes I know I should have apologized just before, but I couldn’t bring myself to. Besides, I deserve the treatment I’m getting anyway.”
She fell onto her back, her mane freely flowing haphazardly as she reached to switch off the lamp. Darkness greeted her, but unlike most times, it was welcomed.
Rarity felt the urge to bury her muzzle into one of her pillows and scream, scream to allow the frustration of being so incredibly stupid and insensitive to flow out of her body, and scream to drain her of the pent up stress and energy she held inside. Instead, she picked up the same book, feeling the wear of the cover, tracing the word love with her hoof. Opening up the book, Rarity was greeted with the title of the first chapter. Printed in large, flowing script, was the word fear.
Fear.
Rarity realized why Dash had picked up this specific book. It was the same reason she borrowed a couple of novels from the library about how to put aside ones desires.
She hadn’t meant to tread on Rainbow’s fears, and even if she did, she would have done so with the light steps of a ballerina. The lesson her mother taught her long ago failed to stick in her mind. Curiosity killed the cat, only she never thought of herself as the cat, until now.
“Generosity be damned. Couldn’t I be generous in a more subdued way?”
Sticking her nose in other pony’s businesses wasn’t something she did because of a desire to laugh at them, or to hear the latest gossip, although she did love the chit chat with Fluttershy. Instead, she got involved with every intention to help the pony in question, even if she might not be the best fit. But the satisfaction of helping her fellow pony, even if for the tiniest of things, was the blood in her veins, the ice crystals that kept her temperature in check. She did it for them and her own benefit equally, even if it was wrong.
Yet sometimes, there were places her nose just didn’t belong.
It was a simple thing really. She wanted to design another nice ensemble for Rainbow Dash to don for a night out they had planned weeks in advance. It was a moment of silent victory when she finally convinced Rainbow to even wear a dress, and would be one of the few times she had done so outside of anything involving the princesses. It was an opportunity she just couldn’t pass up.
But there was a lingering doubt, and Rarity was well aware of it.
She’d ask simple questions to the pegasus here and there, like her preference between a few colors, or whether a certain design scheme catered to her tastes. In her mind, Rarity figured it was the best way to go about getting Rainbow’s fashion ideals, knowing there was no chance Rainbow would be willing to spend hours picking options.
Each answer she received was usually only a few words, with a question of “why are you asking me this” tacked on the end. Yet for every instance, she failed to hear the underlying uncertainty in Dash’s voice.
The issue finally came to a head only hours before, when Rainbow Dash tried on the dress for the first time. She had a content look when it came to the dress itself, yet she didn’t wear the boastful grin or veil of confidence she usually did as she tried it on. In fact, Rarity saw the doubt surface again, this time stronger than ever.
So she questioned it.
Rarity wished she could take the entire conversation back, shoot it up into the air like a rocket, and watch as it sailed out of view, disappearing into oblivion.
Here she discovered that Rainbow Dash, her marefriend and one of the most confident ponies she had ever met, did have fears outside of trivial matters.
She was afraid of how others perceived her appearance.
“Opal, you agree I went too far right?” The feline gave Rarity a stare, and another hearty sarcastic meow.
Naturally, her instincts led her to treat Rainbow’s situation like she would any other clientele. Out came her thesaurus of adjectives to compliment both the dress and Rainbow, and just like many times before, Rarity set out to distill any lingering doubts into near microscopic droplets in both their eyes. She thought that she could convince Dash that not only did she look really good in the dress, she looked downright spectacular, a word she did use in emphasis.
It didn’t convince Rainbow, and if it did anything, it only made the pegasus doubt more. Rarity knew Rainbow had a reputation she held dear, similar to her own, but she hadn’t the slightest clue of how significant it really was.
She rambled about how everypony would belittle her if she went out like this, especially her acquaintances on the weather team, and about how nopony would take her seriously if she went out looking “all dolled up” as she called it. Rarity found the idea preposterous, especially when Rainbow mentioned the Wonderbolts rejecting her on account of it.
“It just sounded… so incredibly silly. I mean the idea of Rainbow Dash dressed in a more sophisticated and fancy manner seemed farfetched, but very little at best,” Rarity reflected, glancing down as Opal got up to reposition herself. “Nopony in their right mind would laugh at her for being beautiful.”
Rarity flipped over onto her belly, completely disregarding Opal who hopped off with a menacing glare. She grabbed a pillow, and pressed her face into it, content with blocking the rest of Equestria away from view, but quickly shifted as she couldn’t breathe.
“I can’t believe I responded with just forget about it… Ugh.” She slapped herself across the face for the second time that night. Opal shook her head in disapproval.
Just forget about it…
Rarity wondered how she could let herself be so insensitive, and how sensitive Dash really was.
She had been on the receiving end of Rainbow Dash’s anger before. Usually, it was for insignificant matters and frankly she found a flustered Rainbow to be the cutest thing in Equestria.
But she had never seen Rainbow Dash genuinely enraged.
With the amount of passion Rainbow put into everything she did, with the pride she carried, Rarity knew she should have known not to make her that angry.
It wasn’t cute.
It was terrifying.
Rarity looked up the stairs from her seat on the sofa, sighing at the thought of what once was. Remains of the fabulous dress she considered one of the greatest she’d ever made lined her room. It had been forcefully torn apart, destroyed and at this stage unrepairable even with her abilities.
She had watched in silent fear as Rainbow tore the fabric, each tear more forceful than the last.
And then came the screaming.
Rarity felt tears brimming in the corners of her eyes as Dash’s emotions poured out, slamming into her forcefully like a tidal wave. It felt like an eternity, and she felt herself sliding down against the wall till she remained cowering as Rainbow’s rage continued.
She had no idea that the lack of self-confidence for her appearance had carried over from when she was just a young filly. Never did she know that she felt a necessity to keep up a certain façade in order to keep the few friends she said she had. There were sporadic glimpses of this struggle, usually on every occasion she wore a dress with her around. Rarity chalked that up to Rainbow just hating dresses, nothing terribly serious.
She felt like complete and utter garbage as she watched Rainbow run downstairs, shutting her bedroom door with a thunderous slam that rocked the boutique to its very core. Her ears heard the sound of a picture frame of the two of them fall off a nightstand, the glass shattering upon impact.
“No… I’m not going to sit here.”
She arose from the sofa, her hooves wobbling a bit as she made her way up the stairs. Closing her eyes, she turned a corner and walked into her room. As she opened the door, she was confronted by a physical and emotional mess.
That same frame lay broken next to her nightstand, and with unsteady hooves, she picked it up. Her foreleg jerked as a jagged piece of glass cut her hoof. She paid it no mind, focusing more on the picture in the frame itself. It showed both of them wearing faces of mud after falling into a mud puddle while hiking. She chuckled at the thought of herself doing such a thing, yet Rainbow was able to convince her to go. And she enjoyed every second of it.
A smile graced her lips as she put the picture down, and a thought graced her mind.
She was going to fix this, no matter what it took.
With a newfound heart, Rarity turned and made her way to the front door.