Vinyl pressed her ear to the kitchen door. At first, nothing, then the delicate clink of a porcelain cup onto a saucer, and what sounded like a muffled crunch. “Bingo.” Fighting back a grin, Vinyl put hoof to the swinging door and shoved. The kitchen door flew open, then slammed against the wall with enough force to rattle the dishes in the cupboard.
Sauntering in, Vinyl yawned to cover up her spreading grin. Just as she’d imagined, her snooty roommate Octavia was sitting at the table having her morning tea. Or she had been. Now the tea was all over both her lap, the wall, the table, and whatever fancy bready thing she was pretending that she liked today. Pulling open the nearest cabinet, Vinyl stared into it.
Octavia ground her teeth with ferocious intensity. “You really are a cretin, do you know that?”
“Whoa! Looks like somepony woke up with her tail in a knot,” Vinyl pushed the items in the cabinet back and forth. Rubbing her bleary eyes, she blinked several times. Something was wrong.
“Mmm. No, actually. I woke up feeling refreshed and invigorated for once, because you stayed out all night carousing or whatever it is that you get up instead of tromping through the house at three in the morning.” Octavia wrenched open a drawer and pulled a second napkin from it. For a moment, her hoof hovered over her crumpet as if trying to decided which angle was best to start dabbing up the pooling tea from her plate. Finally, she sighed and dropped the napkin over the whole thing before pushing it away. “You should try staying away more often. It suits you.”
“No can do,” Vinyl replied, fishing through the items on the second shelf. “Unlike you, I’ve got an actual job, so I can’t just loaf around. Sorry that I have to come home after the club closes. How lame of me.”
Octavia’s lips pulled back into an involuntary snarl. “It’s not the ‘coming home!’ It’s the ‘turning on the stereo at full volume!’ It’s the ‘dancing on the creaky old bed that you’ve dragged from whatever Tartarus pit you come from!’ It’s the ‘slamming the doors against the walls every time you go to the bathroom!’
“Oh, right. ’Cause you totally don’t break out that stupid double bass and practice at daybreak or take up all the hot water with your marathon showers.” Vinyl frowned into the cabinet. “Octavia, where’s the coffee?”
Octavia tapped her chin with a hoof and theatrically squinted up at the ceiling. “Coffee… coffee… Let’s see…”
“Where. Is. It?” Vinyl turned to glare at her roommate. “I need it.”
“Think, think, think, Octavia. Did you see any coffee?”
“Where is it?”
Octavia perked up. “Oh, that’s right! Your coffee. I went to the market yesterday, and do you know what they had? Earl Greymare! Several boxes! It’s so trying to come by in this region of Equestria. Well, I just had to snap them all up, but when I got home, well, there just wasn’t room for it all and that huge tub of coffee. I threw it out.”
Vinyl’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, you did, huh? You think I’m bad at three in the morning? You’re about to find out how bad I can get! I’m—”
“Oh, for Celestia’s sake, you grand diva, I saved some for you.” Octavia pointed to a small packet hidden deep within the cabinet’s back corner. “It’s just there.”
Vinyl lunged for the packet, pulling it out by the attached string. Frowning, she held it up to the light. “Octavia, I’m sure this kinda thing was really funny in your snotty private school, but you’ve got three seconds to give me my coffee before I show you what the inside of your bass looks like.”
“For the last time, it’s not a bass! It’s a cello.”
“You know what? I believe it. Figures you wouldn’t know how to play it right.”
Octavia gasped. “It’s not my fault that I’m short!” she said through gritted teeth.
“You’re gonna be short one head if you don’t give me my coffee!”
Octavia snatched the packet from Vinyl’s hoof. “It is coffee. I loaded it into a spare teabag so that you could steep it like a civilized pony.” She reached into the cabinet and pulled out a small metal box with a clasp. Flipping open the lid, Octavio held it out for Vinyl to see. “You have five more after that one.”
Vinyls stared down at the tiny packets. “There’s not even enough in there for one pot!”
“My, my!” Octavia replied as she set the box down on the counter. “Whatever will Vinyl do without her three pots of coffee to keep her up at all hours?”
Vinyl curled her hoof and held it up between them. “Probably snap and go into some sort of violent, snob-killing rage!”
“Oh, please.” Octavia rolled her eyes and pushed the kitchen door open. At the threshold, she looked back over her shoulder with a smile. “I suppose you’ll have to walk to market and back, leaving the house for a good bit of the morning. Shame, that.”
The blood pounded through Vinyl’s temples as the door swung closed. “Why that snooty, boring…” Grinding her teeth, she pounded on hoof into the sole of the other. “Two can play at that game!”
~~~
Vinyl grumbled several extremely devastating comebacks to herself while stomping back to the market district. In her mind’s eye, Octavia was huddled into a corner, tearing up and promising to find a new place to live. But she was leaving those really nice, extra-fluffy towels she’d brought. That was the best thing about Octavia. Her family had loaded her up with cush stuff.
It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried. She’d found this new apartment and had fallen in love with it immediately. It had it all: A hot tub. Good acoustics. This really freaky new dishwasher. And, best of all, it was close to all the coolest places in town. It was perfect.
Well, almost perfect.
Vinyl had spent a tearful afternoon with Twilight that day, begging her friend to find a way that made the finances work. In the end, the alicorn gently pushed the notepad back to her with a circled figure at the bottom and shook her head. Vinyl just didn’t make enough bits.
“Why don’t you get a roommate?” Twilight had asked.
As though it was that it was just that easy. Lyra was all caught up with Bon Bon. Vinyl barely even saw her anymore. Derpy had kids now. Noteworthy would probably take it the wrong way if she asked, and she didn’t want a repeat of her college senior year with that guy. He was nice and all, but he took everything you did as a romantic invitation.
Twilight had just shrugged. “Well, take out an ad, then. Somepony out there is going to love the place as much as you do. It’s a win-win!”
“Yeah, right! That’s the last time I go to her for advice.” Vinyl kicked a loose stone several yards up the path and wished it was a certain pony’s hindquarters. “Just get a roommate! It’ll be great! Win-win!”
Twilight had been right about one thing, though: It hadn’t taken very long. Octavia had answered Vinyl’s ad the very next day, and they’d gotten together for lunch. She should have seen the signs when it took them more than an hour to agree on where to eat, but she was too busy thinking about the layout of her new bedroom to care.
It had seemed like it could work. They both really liked music, though Octavia was apparently into all that really boring chamber kinda stuff. They could talk about that. Octavia had just finished up her degree, so there wouldn’t been any complaining about needing quiet study time. And from the looks of things, Octavia’s parents had some money to throw around, so Vinyl wouldn’t have to nag her about rent.
But best of all, they had opposite schedules. Octavia said that she freelanced with several smaller groups for elegant social functions. Lots of business luncheons and private dinners. Vinyl’s work day didn’t start until after ten at night. They’d probably never even see each other! It would almost be like having her own apartment!
Vinyl caught her reflection in the dusty store window of Ponyville’s second-hoof store. Bleary eyed and tousle-maned, she looked every inch the wreck she felt without several morning mugs of coffee. Well, “morning,” but seriously, who gets up before noon, anyway? Muttering dark curses under her breath, Vinyl ran a hoof through her mane several times to try and work the worst of the tangles out of it. It was kind of cool to have a messy mane, but there was stylishly messy, and then there was this.
“Throwing my coffee out, huh? Well, we’ll see about that! Once my brain wakes up some, that mare’s gonna wish